Work Text:
The cursor on the screen just kept blinking, mocking Ryo as he stared at his lab report. The electric fan was working overtime against the Los Baños heat, but he was barely paying attention.
His desk was his own little safe space. Everything was exactly where it belonged: his pastel sticky notes, the paper trimmer he scored on Shopee, and his hoodie he bought just because it looked cute. It was a neat, organized setup. Too bad his brain was currently a massive, tangled mess.
He was nineteen. A junior in the BS Biology program at UPLB. And honestly? He was just so tired.
People always thought he had it all figured out. Back in high school, he was that guy. He passed the Big 4— UPCAT, ACET, USTET and DLSU. Total bragging rights, right? Everyone just assumed he was this focused genius with a flawless master plan. He ended up choosing UP for... well, reasons he really isn't comfortable sharing with anyone. But the point is, he made his choice, and the expectations that came with it were heavy.
The default script everyone expected him to follow was simple: go to UP, survive Biology, go to med school, become a doctor.
But here’s the thing—pre-med isn't some glamorous TV show. There are no dramatic hospital rounds or saving lives in the ER right now. It’s just endless hours of lab work, staring through microscopes until his eyes hurt, and smelling like agar and ethanol.
And the crazy part is, he actually likes science. He genuinely loves the environment. Conserving it, protecting it, understanding how ecosystems survive and how plants work—that stuff actually matters to him. But did he want to trade that for a grueling decade of medical school and hospital shifts? Did he really want to be a doctor, or was he just doing it because it was the "next logical step" everyone expected from the guy who passed the Big 4?
What if I just want to be me? Ryo groaned, leaning back and running a hand through his hair.
He pushed his laptop away and grabbed his phone. He opened AO3, and a genuine wave of relief hit him when he saw new comments on his latest chapter. Then he opened Canva to fix a layout for a K-pop group order, mentally checking his GCash balance to make sure everything was sorted.
For a long time, he felt guilty about this stuff. Like he was supposed to be "Academic Ryo" 24/7, and things like writing fanfiction, doing his skincare routine, and organizing fan merch were just silly distractions he’d have to drop eventually to be a serious adult.
But why should he? Why did he have to pack up his personality in a box just to fit some rigid idea of what his future should look like?
He walked over to his window, looking out at the campus. He was stressing himself out trying to predict a future that wasn't even here yet. He felt like he needed to have the exact next step planned out before he could even breathe.
But honestly, nobody knows what's next.
Maybe he’ll go to med school. Maybe he’ll dive into environmental conservation and spend his life protecting forests. Maybe he’ll just keep writing stories and figure the rest out as he goes. Whatever the future holds, it’s going to happen whether he panics about it tonight or not. He doesn't have to have it all figured out right now, and he definitely doesn't need to force his life into a perfectly straight line.
After all, the first law of ecology states that everything is connected to everything else.