Chapter Text
Dohoon prided himself in always being a reliable friend. The one who never gets tired, the one who never skips a hangout, the one who's always there for everyone. He loved being that friend, he felt like he was accomplishing something no one from his friend group was, he felt useful. He genuinely thought that was the best thing in the world and Jihoon hated it.
Not because he wanted to feel more useful than Dohoon, God forbid. But because nobody else noticed the eye bags below Dohoon's eyes getting larger with every passing day, nobody noticed how he would wince when he was just simply breathing. Nobody noticed how he would sit down whenever he could just to rest. Nobody noticed how being the “reliable” friend was slowly killing him.
It was painful watching Dohoon struggle and what was even more painful for Jihoon was that Dohoon did nothing about it. He still entered every room with a smile, laughed the loudest at jokes, fixed Junghwan's and Youngjae's relationship problems but never fixed a part of him that also wanted attention from someone, that wanted to be cared for the way he cares, that wanted to be treated the way he treats someone.
Every time Jihoon looks into Dohoon's eyes he can see the redness around his eyes, he can see the red marks that almost look like eye liner. Every time he looks at Dohoon, he can see the scratch marks on his hands, on his cheeks, he can see the tired expression that grows more tired with each passing day.
One time Jihoon even tried to ask Dohoon if he's okay, if he needs help but it ended horribly.
….
It was a quiet March morning when after Jihoon’s birthday party everyone was sleeping together. Jihoon and Dohoon next to eachother, limbs tangled as Dohoon's hands were hugging Jihoon tightly.
Jihoon tried to move quietly without Dohoon noticing but that ended up in Dohoon quietly stirring awake. “Jihoon, what time is it?” He said, sleep lacing his voice. “About 7am.” Jihoon said, already sounding wide awake. “Why are you awake at this hour? Are you okay?”
Here it goes, Jihoon thought. The endless Dohoon worrying. So the most reasonable thing to do in that situation was to answer with a question, right? So he did. “Dohoon, are you okay?” Jihoon asked, full of concern. “Your eyes look like you've been crying and you look tired.” He continued with a worried tone. “I'm okay.” Dohoon said while looking around and Jihoon immediately knew that his ass was lying.
“Dohoon, look at me. Are. You. Really. Okay?” He said, praying to God that Dohoon opens up to him, because seeing Dohoon suffering so much was making him suffer too. “Yes, shut the fuck up already!” Dohoon said a little louder and just stood up. Jihoon was left there, lying on that cold mattress feeling like a failure. He couldn't help his best friend, his crush and that was worse than failing the whole semester.
….
Remembering that, Jihoon thought about another approach of how he could silently take care of Dohoon without him noticing.
But having Dohoon not notice was a skill he would have to develop slowly, because it is not easy.
….
“Junghwan, as much as I love you, you need to get your shit together” Youngjae said, looking at Junghwan with something like fond disgust. Don’t ask Jihoon, he wouldn’t know either. “Maybe if you help me with anything i’d do something, you just nag the whole day” Junghwan fired back angrily. “Oh so now it’s my fault that your lazy ass can’t do anything!” Youngjae yelled looking frustrated. “Let’s call Dohoon” Junghwan said but Jihoon immediately rejected that idea. “Leave him alone, he’s sleeping, he had a rough exam today” Jihoon said, fed up with those two. “Go to Kyungmin, he’s more mature than you two clearly are” he said, not leaving room for arguments. “Okay” Youngjae groaned as he dragged Junghwan from the lunch table. Leaving Jihoon and Dohoon alone.
Something about Dohoon fascinated Jihoon very much. His beautiful black hair and his sharp eyes made him look like he was straight out of a magazine. He watched as Dohoon slept on that cafeteria table, he looked so peaceful, his eyes closed gracefully and his arms were neatly put on the table. He looks so kissable, Jihoon thought but he also looks so tired.
“Jihoon” A sweet voice called out to him. “Yeah hyung” Jihoon replied, his heart fluttering from Dohoon’s sweet honey voice. “Thank you for not letting them wake me up, even though i was awake” he chuckled. “Oh, that’s nothing hyung” Jihoon said as he brought water to Dohoon. “Thank you” Dohoon said, a bright smile forming on his still tired face. “When does our class start?” Dohoon asked getting up. “We have a free period since Mr. Yudai didn’t show up, so in about 45 minutes” Jihoon said, his smile slowly returning to his face.
“Let’s go somewhere” Dohoon suggested, but the exhaustion could be heard from a kilometer away. “No hyung, you will sleep here and after that i’ll make sure that you have eaten” Jihoon said, his tone firm, leaving no room for Dohoon to argue. “Ok, thanks” Dohoon said sincerely and Jihoon couldn’t help but smile. “What you're smiling at, silly” Dohoon said drowsily. “Just you letting someone take care of you” Jihoon said proudly. “Blah blah blah” “Sleep well hyung”
After watching Dohoon sleep, Jihoon couldn’t help but get sleepy too. So he laid close to Dohoon and closed his eyes.
“Jihoon! Dohon!” Youngjae’s high-pitched voice was heard. Jihoon woke up first, his arm numb and his head feeling very light. “Professor has been looking for you, why are you two sleeping?” Youngjae hissed. “What time is it?” Jihoon asked, now fully awake after seeing the panic in Youngjae’s face. “It’s 13:00, our class started 25 minutes ago.” “Oh shit” Jihoon said, waking up Dohoon in panic. “Hyung we gotta go we’re late for class” He said frantically. “ Ok, i’m up” Dohoon said.
…
After school Jihoon immediately went home. He couldn’t stand another group hang out where Junghwan and Youngjae would fight and Dohoon would be their counselor. So, he urged Dohoon to also skip it.
“But i don’t miss hang outs” Dohoon whined. “No offense hyung, you look awfully tired even after sleeping in 50% of the classes today” Jihoon said and studied the expression on Dohoon’s face. “Ok Jihoon, but you owe me” Dohoon said with a pout on his face.
It was already near 10 pm when Jihoon’s phone buzzed.
Dohoon:
thank you for not letting me go to the hang out
kyungmin said it was real messy
also i have never slept better in my life
so thank you, really!
jihoon:
hyung it’s nothing really, i’m glad you rested well
it’s saturday tomorrow, should we hang out?
dohoon:
works for me
see you tmr ig
“Yeah, see you, my love” Jihoon said as he smiled at his phone.