Work Text:
Waterboy and you have been dating for a while now. The start of your relationship was a bit chaotic, in the sense that the two of you met when you bumped into each other on your first day as a dispatcher, back when Waterboy was still the SDN janitor. Since that day, you’ve been inseparable; many people in the office – and especially on the Z-team – suspect or know that you’ve started dating. It’s an open secret. On many occasions, you accidentally call him ‘darling’; he waits patiently for you to have lunch together under the pretence that you owe him a favour; you go out together after work. There are plenty of clues that give you away, but even so, you prefer to keep it a secret. You’ve already had problems in the past when you were dating one of your coworkers, and when you told Hermie about that experience, he suggested keeping it a secret.
A single thought has been on your mind since this morning. On the subway, you saw loads of ideas for things to do as a couple, and one in particular caught your eye: it would be lovely to share a wallpaper with him. It’s not too obvious, and you’ve wanted to share something with him for ages. But… which photo would you choose? One of the two of you? One of just him? How about a group photo so they don't get suspicious? It's better to have a photo of just him – besides, who's such a gossip that they'd go checking people's wallpapers? You already had several photos in mind and they all seemed lovely to you; it really is a difficult decision. Perhaps you could ask him before his shift starts.
Outside the entrance, you look around for him; since he's so tall, it's not hard to spot him, but he doesn't seem to be there. You go into the building, say hello to a few colleagues, and see him getting into the elevator. You quicken your pace and manage to get in with him. With some struggle, you approach him. "Hi, Waterboy."
"Oh, hi, darl- you" he corrects himself quickly. "Sorry for not waiting for you outside"
“It’s fine, Waterboy” you say as you move a little closer and, somewhat clumsily, take his hand. You lock eyes and smile like the silly lovers you are. The doors open and you let go of each other’s hands. You walk together to your cubicle; there are only a few dispatchers around, so you take the opportunity to give him a quick kiss on the cheek. “How did you get here before me?”
“Hehe, I just got up a bit earlier, to surprise you” That sounds a bit suspicious; Hermie notices the look of suspicion in your eyes. “I-I just wanted to s-show you something before we start work” Deep down, you know he’s up to something.
“Really? And what is this thing you want to show me- ” But before you can ask, a few small barks interrupt you. You look down. “Oh, good morning, Beef. What are you doing here, big guy? Did you come to say hello?” You pick him up carefully, then look at Hermie.
“Hello, Beef. Good morning to you too” he says, patting Beef.
They’re both so cute – they’d look lovely in a photo, wouldn’t they?
“Hermie~ can you hold him for a moment, please?” You stretch your arms out a little towards him
“O-okay?” Beef licks his cheek, which tickles him
“Don’t let go” You take the photo. An adorable photo of the things you like and/or love most about SDN: Beef, a chubby little dog who’s impossible not to love, and… your boyfriend, your hero and your other half. You gaze fondly at the photo; Beef is still licking Waterboy’s face. “Haha, you can put him down now” you say, and he does. You look at each other; a moment passes and you both smile. You both want to speak but neither of you makes the first move; you laugh a little.
“Hey” you say at the same time.
“You first” says Hermie.
“No, you first”
“I insist-” your phone rings; it’s time to get to work
“Damn, catch you later?” you say as you sit down at your desk and switch on your computer
“Y-yes! See you later!” You hate seeing him leave, but this isn’t the time to think – it’s time to work, or rather, to scold retired villains. Your team is made up entirely of villains who still think they can do whatever they like, and as you greet your team, you see that two members are already causing trouble. Today is going to be an interesting day.
The day flew by quite quickly, between insults, lecturing, sermons, emergency calls, acts of sabotage and many, many arguments amongst your team. You take off your headphones and stretch, still seated; you look back and see Robert, who has just taken off his headphones. “We should swap teams” you say indifferently.
“Why should we?” replies Robert.
“Your team’s under control, I’m still dealing with villains, at least you’ve got a hero”
“Are you talking about Waterboy?”
“Maybe. Speaking of him, do you know if he’s back yet?” you say as casually as possible
“Your boyfriend’s still busy”
“Robert… he’s not my boyfriend” you say, looking at him seriously, but he doesn’t believe you.
“So he’s your husband, then?”
“Argh” you say, getting up to get something to eat. “I’m going to eat all the Twinkies from the vending machine if you keep bothering me”
Your break is interrupt by an emergency call; even with food still in your mouth, you sit down at your desk and answer it. Calls keep coming in one after another; you answer as many as you can as you give instructions to your team.
After another successful shift, as usual, you wait by the changing room exit, take out your phone, and a lovely photo of Hermie carrying Beef greets you. You’d already forgotten what you wanted to show him this morning.
“Why do you have Waterboy as your wallpaper?” Invisigal asks out of the blue.
“Ah!!” You scream in fright and nearly drop your phone. “Stop doing that! It’s just a photo of Beef, it’s not my fault Waterboy was holding him up” you say, trying to sound as casual as possible.
“Yeah, right… I’m not going to lie, Beef looks adorable, it’s just a shame the wet guy is taking up all the space” she says, leaning in towards your phone.
“Oh, shush” you say, switching off your mobile and trying to hide it.
Hermie comes out and smiles when he sees you. “Hello, darling!” You and Invisigal turn to look at him. “I mean, go—good evening, girls!” he corrects himself, trying to greet you normally
"Hello! Waterboy, good evening to you too" you reply, trying to be as professional as possible, but Invisigal looks at you both with a touch of pity; it’s very obvious that you’re a couple
“Hah, no need to pretend. I’m not Blazer, so I’m not here to tell you off. See you later, lovebirds – and try not to make out in the office” she says, before disappearing.
“S-sorry, I didn’t see her ” he says, looking down in embarrassment.
You comfort him by placing a hand on his shoulder. “I didn’t see her coming either.”
The walk to the exit feels like it goes on forever; you can still feel Invisigal’s gaze on you both. It’s not that you dislike her, but she annoys the two of you simply because you’re trying to keep your relationship a secret. She teases Hermie the most, because let’s be honest, he’s far too easy to tease.
“Hey” he looks at you “can I have your phone?" You hold out your hand, asking for the phone.
“Uhh, w-what do you need it for?” He looks at you doubtfully.
“I want to do something fun, pretty pleaseeee.” You look at him with puppy dog eyes.
"Uh, maybe not r-right now, I’ll give it to you later" You stretch out your arms to grab his phone.
"Oh, come on, I won’t do anything weird" but he raises his phone from you "Are you keeping a secret from me?"
"No! Its not that" but he raises his phone above his head, making your task very difficult
“I see. You naughty littl- giraffe I can’t believe you’re keeping secrets from me
"Its not that” Hermie starts running and you chase after him. You run through several hallways, trying not to bump into anyone. Unfortunately for him, but fortunately for you, you reach a dead-end. You corner him, he takes a step back, scanning the area for a way out. You jump up to grab the phone, but he’s too tall, so there’s no other choice. “You’re forcing me to take drastic measures, sweetie” you say, getting your hands ready. “But you’re leaving me no other option” In one quick movement, you start tickling him.
“Haha, haha, stop, hahaha”
“Give it to me and I’ll let you go” you tell him.
“N-no, hahahhaha, later, hahaha” Hermie tries to defend himself against your tickling attack, but he lowers his arm and you grab the phone.
“Aha! I promise I won’t do anything……” When you switch on the phone, you see a photo of yourself; somehow he’s stolen your idea. A big smile spreads across your face and you turn to look at him. “You’re lucky this is a nice photo.”
"I-I was going to show you that this morning, but you know..." He looks away, looking a bit embarrassed.
"Hey, come here for a sec " You gesture for him to come closer, he obediently does so. You gently cup his face and give him a kiss. Despite how long you’ve been together he always ends up blushing like a tomato even more when you kiss him at work, but you have to admit, it’s something you’ll never get bored of seeing “I’ve got you as my wallpaper too, I was going to show you that ” you say as you smooth back a stray strand of his hair
“Really? How cute, hehe, we’re matching” He looks at you, relieved
Neither of you takes your eyes off the other, you slip your arms round the back of his neck, catching Hermie off guard. You pull him a little closer and kiss him on the nose; he looks at you, wanting more, and you kiss him. As you break the kiss, something catches Hermie’s attention and he tries to warn you
“Hm!! Uh, darling, it-" You kiss him again.
"Hey!" It’s Blonde Blazer. "Could you two please not do that here in the office?" You pull apart in one quick movement.
"I-I don’t know what you’re talking about. I was just… just wiping something off Waterboy’s face" you say, feeling a bit nervous. We’re talking about Blonde Blazer, your boss.
"Y-yeah! Right, um, was there something on my face?" he asks genuinely, pointing to his face
"Hah, come on, I’ll walk you to the door, lovebirds" says Blazer in a sweet but firm voice
Night falls and many employees get ready to leave, the corridors fill up, the elevator is packed to capacity. Blazer doesn’t stray far from you, glancing at you from time to time. In the crowd, Hermie reaches for your hand and shyly holds it for a few seconds; you look at each other and smile, letting go of each other’s hands just before the doors open.
Once outside the building, Blazer turns to look at you both. “all right, have a nice weekend and I’ll see both of you on monday”
“Erm, Miss Blazer, you’re not going to fire us, are you?” you ask, feeling a little nervous. Blazer is a good friend, but when it comes to work, she isn’t usually so easygoing.
“As I said, I’ll see you on Monday. Don’t worry, but please try not to do that inside the office. What you do outside of work is your own business.”
You both sigh with relief.
“See you later, Miss Blazer”
"Yeah, w-we’ll see you later" Blazer waves back and leaves
After that little scare, you walk home. You look at him with a touch of regret. "Sorry about earlier, Hermie"
"N-no, you don’t have to apologise. It’s fine. I-I think I needed that."
"Tough day?"
"You could say that..."