Chapter Text
Sasuke steps into the airport, taking in the air of the Midway. He was wearing low-rise sweatpants where the elastic sat right on his hip bones; he could feel the chill airport air nip at the sliver of stomach that was exposed beneath his cropped winter jacket. He bought it thinking it was cute; it had brown faux fur on the hood attached to a puffer that ended right at his waist. His mom called it impractical, saying it wouldn't ever keep him warm, but he didn’t care. He’d gotten piercings while he was away too, ones his dad advised him against, calling it unprofessional. A lip piercing stud hidden under plump pink-ish lips covered in strawberry lip balm and a dermal sitting pretty on his left cheekbone. Itachi picks him up at the airport in his sleek black Porsche. It was his first time coming home for winter break. Early December, cold as fuck, and three months since Naruto ghosted him. Since Sasuke dropped his pride and tried to reach out first, and Naruto hadn’t even read it.
“How was school?” Itachi’s cold voice cuts through Sasuke’s thoughts.
“‘Was fine.”
Itachi’s eyes glanced to meet Sasuke’s. “You know, Naruto just finished military training.” Itachi kept driving like he didn’t just drop a huge bomb.
Sasuke’s breath hitches. “What?”
“Ms. Uzumaki called. She was very excited to tell Okaasan that Naruto was home from military training and that he’d be starting pre-med in January. I figured you’d want to know. Naruto being… Whatever he is to you.”
“Hn.”
They drove the rest of the way in silence, Sasuke glancing out the window with his earbuds in his ears. Naruto never said he was enlisting. He’d never even mentioned the military back when they went to high school together. But Sasuke suspected it was just like everything else Naruto struggled with. When they were 12, he didn’t tell Sasuke why he took the train to and from karate classes in Lincoln Park to the South Side when everyone else had parents to pick them up. In high school, he hadn’t told Sasuke that his mom was working overtime to pay for bills, or that he was there on a soccer scholarship, and that’s why he didn’t have any lunch money. The thought pissed him off. Naruto, the one who taught him to communicate, saw Sasuke past Itachi's achievements and supported him at track meets. He always told Sasuke he cared for him and made him feel like a person and comforted him, but the blonde was always trying to hide his struggles, especially from Sasuke. It made sense now; the ghosting did. It still didn't make him feel better. Sasuke could hear the trains running overhead, people walking their dogs even though it was barely 30 degrees, soft white snow turning into dirty brown sludge where it met the street. Warm streetlights were on, aluminizing flakes still falling from the sky. He was home.
Itachi carried his luggage, walking into the house first, setting Sasuke’s suitcases at the top of the stairs before disappearing around the corner, probably to his father’s office. It was the only reason he seemed to come over anymore. Sasuke’s mom greeted him, running down the vanity stairs, almost tackling him as he slipped on UGG boot off. “He’s home! My pretty baby! My pretty, pretty baby boy!” She hugged him and kissed him before helping him out of his jacket, like he was still five years old. Upon looking up, he saw his father at the top of the vanity stairs.
“Sasuke.” His face was unreadable as always. He never really said hello, besides the gentle nod of his head.
“Chichioya,” Sasuke responded, returning the same attitude. Sasuke never really had a good relationship with his father; he worked all the time and was too judgmental when he was around. Itachi probably told him he arrived. He never really liked his dad; he always wanted him to be like Itachi, who’d recently graduated from pre-law. His fist curled, remembering how he was expected to do the same. How angry and disappointed his dad was when he heard that Sasuke decided to be a journalism major with a fashion minor instead.
“Are you hungry?” His mom's voice cut through his thoughts; her hand holding his arm ushered him up the stairs. “I bet you’re hungry; you used to eat so much! I made miso soup! Your favorite! A little spicy, just the way you like it.” She pulled out a stool for him to eat at the kitchen island before setting a piping hot bowl in front of him, still leaning on the kitchen island studying his face. “Oh, Sasuke. My baby, my youngest, how I missed you… Is that a new piercing?”
“Yeah.”
“It’s so cute, fitting for you, like a little mole, right there on your cheek.” She lightly tapped the dermal with her finger before pulling away.
He warmed his hands on the bowl of soup, keeping eye contact with the green onion and tofu in his bowl. “Did you know he enlisted in the military, Okaasan?” The question slipped out before he could stop it.
“Who? Naruto? I guess… Kushina must’ve told me a little bit after you left for school. Did he not tell you, honey?
“No,” Sasuke mumbled, barely loud enough to hear.
“Hmmm, well, he’s back now. You’re always welcome to invite him over if you’d like. You know Naruto is always welcome here. In fact, Kushina was just here for tea last week! Maybe the next time she visits, all ask her to bring that handsome hunk over! Doesn’t that sound nice, Sasuke?”
“Don’t bother. If that loser doesn’t wanna see me, whatever.” He lifted the bowl of soup to his lips.
Mikoto quirks her eyebrow and looks to the side, trying to hide her unimpressed expression. “Are you sure, Sasuke? I know you two are close; I’m sure whatever Naruto did this time, he didn’t mean it. I mean, you’re like his favorite person! I remember meeting him again when you guys used to hang out in high school! The boy couldn’t shut up about you! He—“
“How do you forget to tell ‘your favorite person’ that you’re enlisting in the military?” Sasuke shot at her, cutting off her sentence.
A moment of silence followed.
“Hm.” Her hand folded together at her chin; she leaned back off the kitchen island. “I— I don’t know.” She looked down solemnly. “It would be a shame for you to just throw the relationship away though… Would it not? Look, Sasuke. Naruto didn’t grow up like you...” Sasuke sighed… this talk again? “Kushina always had to worry about him. He’s been smiling in people’s faces while the world burns down around him since he was 12, okay? I understand that you’re 18 and you can do as you please… But, please do consider what I’m saying: you’re always so quick to cut people off! I really think Naruto had good intentions in what he did, sweetheart, and sometimes people make decisions for personal reasons beyond... what you think.” She said the last part slowly, knowing it was a bit harsh and Sasuke was a little bit sensitive, especially when it came to Naruto.
Sasuke scoffed, narrowing his eyes at her. “Hn. I need to unpack.”
The stool scraped against the hardwood floor as he walked toward where Itachi had left his bags. He picked them up in an uncomfortable position, where his mom looked like she wanted to ask if he needed help, but knew he’d decline it from her at the moment. Once he was in his room, he didn’t unpack. He stared at the walls of his bedroom. Band posters, The Smashing Pumpkins, and Foofighters, and a giant purple Japanese-style fan on his wall, a gift from Okaasan; she’d given it to him on his 18’th birthday this year. Everything he owned was either purple, blue, or black, from his purple comforter to black bedsheets to old navy/black curtains over his windows. He brushed his hand over the soft snake-pattern fuzzy black blanket he had draped over the corner of his bed. All except for one thing.
The bright orange fox plush Naruto let him have. It was huge, 3 feet. Naruto won it for him at a carnival, back when they were 17. They were at the pier. It was Sasuke's first time going since he was little, and Naruto had saved up from his job at the skate shop to pay for it. Sasuke adored it; he slept with it every night. His heart ached for it when he couldn't bring it with him to Maryland. Now everything in his body screamed that it should burn. It was just a dumb fox, a fucking stupid fox. Sasuke's face scrunched up. He felt a familiar burning behind his eyes that he only felt in private. He threw the stupid thing onto the floor, off his bed, face down, where it belonged. He hated Naruto for ignoring him, for not saying that he was leaving; who hides that they’re enlisted in the fucking military? He left Sasuke here. Everyone knew except for him, and now all he could sit with was the way the blonde would ride the train with Sasuke just to make sure he got home didn’t mean anything, that maybe the way he cupped his face and told Sasuke he was pretty didn’t mean anything, that Naruto giving him his jacket when Sasuke was cold meant absolutely nothing, and the cherry on top was for him to secretly enlist in the military!
Sasuke spent the rest of the evening scrolling through his phone's camera roll, pictures of Naruto and himself. It was summer, hot, blazing July, and Naruto took him to the skate park knowing Sasuke didn't know how to skate. Naruto had dragged him around while Sasuke was in chunky new rocks. Sasuke’s feet planted on the board, Naruto holding both his hands, only moving the board forward; it was cute, Sasuke’s face flushed just thinking about it. In the picture, Naruto was front and center, smiling so hard his eyes closed. He was so cute when he did that. Sasuke was in the back of the picture, one chunky shoe on the board, looking at Naruto take the picture. Another of them at the carnival, another with Naruto in his room. He hated him. Who did he think he was? Abandoning Sasuke like that. Fuck him Fuck him Fuck him.
———
Mikoto had finally come back from the farm, calling Sasuke downstairs. He came down in pajamas—well, a cami-tank and fuzzy blue grew and plaid pajama pants. His mom went with Kushina to the tree farm, because of course she did. Key word: Kushina. Not Naruto. Kushina. And yet, when Sasuke came down the stairs to the tree settled in the pot in their living room, he saw blonde; Sasuke froze at the bottom of the stairs, his brow furrowing. Buzzed blonde... was that Naruto? Did he cut his hair? His shoulders got broader. The long sleeves he was wearing fit more around his biceps and forearms. Naruto had always been bigger than him, but coming back from the military, he looked huge. Sasuke bit his lip.
“Sasuke, finally!” He turned to his mother. “Look who made it, Kushina! I wanted to have him pick out the tree with us, but he doesn’t leave his room until noon.” She said the last part while rolling her eyes, taking his arm and helping him from where he was frozen at the bottom of the stairs. Naruto slowly turned, and blue met obsidian; all of a sudden, Sasuke wanted to go back up the stairs. “Show Kushina your new piercing!” She was ushering him closer; Sasuke felt like his lungs weren’t working as Naruto kept staring.
Sasuke forgot how to breathe.
“He’s been getting these little metal things in his—“
“Okaasan.” His voice came out strained; his mom paused, turning to Sasuke.
“What’s the matter, honey?”
“Nothing.” He bit out, trying to ignore the blue eyes boring into his skull. “I— I just forgot my phone upstairs.” Mikoto gave him a look, as if she knew he was lying.
“Ah, okay. Don’t stay up there forever, okay?” Sasuke didn’t respond, but she didn’t press the issue. He closed his bedroom door and could still feel blue eyes on him, and his heart felt like it wanted to leave his chest. His breath caught again when he heard a soft knock on the door.
“Sas’ke?” Sasuke choked on air. The soft rattle of knuckles against his door came back. “Sas’ke, can we talk?” He sighs. “Please.” He mumbled under his breath.
He took a deep breath, not choking this time. He opened the door abruptly. “What? Can’t last two seconds without me?” It came out cruel. Good. Naruto didn’t deserve his kindness after the stunt he pulled. But when he looked up and saw how close they were and the sad look on the blonde’s face, he faltered.
“Are you doing okay, Sas’ke?”
“Fine.” There was another pause. Blue eyes raked over Sasuke’s slender frame, taking in the changes, the new lip piercings, the dermal, how his hair almost covered his left eye, brushing against his eyelash when Sasuke looked up. “We should head back—“
“Sas’ke…” The blonde hesitated as if he’d forgotten what to say. “Sas’ke,” He tried again, “I meant to tell you.”
His eyes narrowed, and Naruto’s widened. “That’s it? You made your position clear, Naruto.” He folded his arms across his chest, quirked a hip, and looked Naruto up and down with that look. But Naruto could see right through it, or he used to be able to see right through it.
The blonde ran a hand through buzzed hair. “Don’t be like that…” His hands went up on instinct, probably to grab me; the ravenette recognized.
“Like what? Upset? That you told everyone except for me?”
“Sas—“
“Don’t.”
“Sas’ke ‘lemme explain.” Sasuke tried to push past Naruto’s broad frame, only for Naruto to move in his way again. “I didn’t mean to, okay?” Sasuke stopped trying to get around him for a second.
“How? Huh? How do you forget something like that!?”
“No— I didn’t mean to hurt… your feelings.”
“You didn’t hurt my feelings.”
The blonde sighed. “Yeah? Okay, why won’t you talk to me then?”
“Because!”
“Stop lying, Sas—“
“Naruto. I don’t know what your point is, but I don’t owe you anything. You left. You didn’t tell me”
“So then let me explain! You never used to act like this!”
“Move, Naruto.”
“Sas’ke, please.” His eyes flicker behind Sasuke for a moment. “You kept it?” Sasuke’s head turns behind him to where the fox plushie sat neatly on his bed again. Sasuke falls silent; Naruto brushes past him into Sasuke’s bedroom. “You actually— Sas’ke, I’m sorry. I meant to tell you, I really did, but I couldn’t. I just, I knew it’d ruin your mood, and you were so happy about Maryland, I couldn’t. And I should’ve texted before I enrolled, but during those months I could only make one phone call; I mean, I chose my mom.”
“You could’ve just told me before.” Sasuke’s voice cracked as he looked at the floor. “I would’ve told you to come home.”
“Yeah, I know if I did, I wouldn’t ‘ve gotten on that bus.”
Sasuke looks up at Naruto, his face scrunched up.
“I wrote you letters, Sas’ke. I— I never sent ‘em. They just all sounded like excuses.” He sighs, running a hand through his hair. “I just didn’t think you’d want them.” Naruto steps closer; his arms go up, wanting to touch, wanting to breach the gap, but they fall again. Sasuke stares; Naruto looks devastated, broad confident shoulders curled inward, his eyes are focused on the floor now; somehow, Naruto looked smaller.
“You should’ve.” Blue eyes flicker back up.
“Sas’ke, I wanna...” He meets Sasuke’s eyes; he opens his arms, just slightly reaching out. Sasuke steps forward. Naruto can read it, though; he knows it’s an invitation. He wraps his arms around Sasuke’s waist, presses his nose to black hair for just a moment, taking in the scent of coconut shampoo. He lets out a deep sigh, one that he’d been holding in for a while. Sasukes finger curl into the front of Naruto’s shirt.
“Boyyyysss” Kushina’s sing-song voice cuts through their embrace, coming up the stairs; both immediately pull away. “Come down now, we’re going to start decorating the tree, sugar bees!” She stood near the entrance of Sasuke’s bedroom. Their stares linger a bit longer at each other. “Did something happen?”
Naruto speaks up first. “Nah, Ma. We’re fine. Let’s go, Sas’ke.” Naruto holds out his hand, Sasuke grabs it, their fingers intertwined, tanned and calloused joined with thin and pale.
“Something went well,” Kushina said. Her smirk and teasing were obvious in her tone, despite walking ahead of them.
Naruto doesn’t let go; he squeezes. “I guess so.”