Work Text:
“Hi,” said Hange, Hange-ly.
“Hi,” replied Shoko, With Cigarette in her mouth.
“I love cigarettes!” said Hange with fervor.
Shoko blushed. She had never met someone with a knack for cigarettes like herself before. “That’s cool. Um. Me too,” she said. She was excited.
“Do you like science?” asked Hange.
“I guess so,” replied Shoko. “I’m kind of a doctor, kind of.”
“How can you ‘kind of’ be a doctor?” inquired Hange, curiously (and with fervor).
“Well, I do medicine with reversed curse technique,” answered Shoko, sounding very smart.
“What?” Hange was shocked. “I don’t know what that is.”
“That makes sense, because you are from a different universe entirely.”
“What?” Hange said again.
“Stop saying what. You sound stupid. I hate you.”
Hange was entranced. Hange (she/they) had never been hated on by anyone before, except for maybe Levi who only hated on them for being smelly. Not for being stupid. Hange had never been called stupid before. She was very smart and knew the scientific method.
“I’m not stupid,” refuted Hange. “I’m very smart. I know the scientific method!”
“How did you travel to my universe, called Jujutsu Kaisen?” asked Shoko. She was suspicious of Hange. Could this be a curse? She smelled like a curse (bad).
“I fell through a wormhole. You know, the one that opened up over your house and dropped me in here.”
“Yes,” said Shoko, remembering. “I remember that.”
Hange said, “So what wall do you live in? I have never seen this type of architecture before.”
“What? What are you talking about?” asked Shoko, very shocked.
“You know, to protect against the Titans.”
“What?”
“Who’s stupid now, bitch?” snorted Hange (like a pig. Through they nose).
“That’s rude. You can’t say that to me,” said Shoko.
“Why not? You called me stupid.”
“Yeah,” agreed Shoko. “Because you are. But I’m a girl and you can’t call me stupid.”
“What?” said Hange, stupidly.
“You’re a she/they, so I can call you stupid.”
“That seems unfair,” said Hange.
“Ok,” said Shoko.
Then, Hange began to think about how pretty Shoko was. “Can I kiss you?” said Hange flirtatiously.
“Ok,” said Shoko.
They kissed. It was awesome except for Hange smelling bad.
Fin.