Chapter Text
Neil josten sat on the bleachers watching the sky above him with little care, in his left hand he held a lit untouched cigarette, the smell helped calm the tense of his shoulders.
It was strange having an identity this long especially after his mother tragically died in the car and Neil had to burn the car to dust and her bones which he buried in the sand quite deep down and made a sand castle with a ununlit cigarette as the flag. That was all he was able to give his mother, no gravestone or coffin just bones buried in the sand that Neil slept by for a day.
His duffel bag sat under his seat, it held all his closr belongings in including his white medication bottles that had a real prescription under ɴᴇɪʟ ᴊᴏꜱᴛᴇɴ for lamotrigine.
When Neil was 15 he started feeling different, his mind could have constant thoughts then just nothing, sometimes when Mary would yell at him instead of cowering in fear of her slaps and punches he would stare at her not feeling a thing.
Then he started having what one of his first phychiatrists called a depressive episode, to Neil it didn't feel like whatever she had described, his mind just felt afloat from his body and at the same time like a weight was keeping him trapped on his makeshift bed.
To say Mary hated it would be the biggest understatement of Neil's entire existence, it was a shocker to Neil when she had actually brought him to a real psychiatrist to get help, the diagnosis took longer which made his mother angsty, she never like staying in the same place but under this circumstance they had to in order to get answers for Neil's or at the time, Stefans problem.
At 16 Neil was diagnosed with borderline personality disorder better known as BPD and Mary had demanded he was put on medication to apparently 'fix' him
In all honesty Neil didn't mind his pills, theyr easy to take and what his current therapist says 'keeps you at ease', all his past therapists that he went to on the run with his mother treated him with kiddy gloves, like his bpd would make him want to stab them or something.
Neil doesn't mind psychiatrists or therapists much, his brain tells him exactly what to say that somehow avoids the topic of family, his current therapist is Eifa Crofter, a nice woman in her mid thirties and has two 6 year old kids which somehow Neil met after one of theyr sessions.
Lamotrigine is what he takes currently, originally it was a antipsychotic called aripiprazole but the drowsiness and vomiting made Mary decide that it slowed them down and had them changed.
A door behind Neil creaks open and instinctively Neil turns his head to look, four figures walk over, one being coach Hernandez.
"Neil, I finally found you" coach Hernandez smiles, Neil stubs out his cigarette and stands up, blinking away black spots from his vision to bend down and grab his bag slowly to avoid his pills rattling.
"I wasn't exactly hiding" Neil responds back dryly, yawning a little bit then turning to the strangers to recognise them.
And recognise them he does it seems 3 foxes must've gotten lost from palmetto.
The older man in the middle of the two players is David Wymack, wearing a white wife beater that shows off tribal flame tattoos and slightly tanned skin, one hand holding a file that has in scraggly barley readable handwriting;
𝒩𝑒𝒾𝓁 𝒥𝑜𝓈𝓉𝑒𝓃
The one on Wymacks left is the queen of exy himself Kevin Day in the flesh, the last time Neil saw kevin it was in tryouts at evermore with Riko, now under one of Kevin's eyes is a dark '2' tattoo, it makes Neil mentally grimace, it was shock to see Kevin here, especially since there's a chance kevin remembers him as Nathaniel.
Finally he turns his empty gaze towards the shortest of the group, Blonde shaggy hair and hazel eyes that look amber, he's wearing his infamous black armbands and a bored look on his face,he almost looks interesting but Neil shoves that feeling away and decides to play dumb.
"Why are they here?" Neil asks Coach Hernandez, turning his head only to see the little guilty expression the man wears, he's stood a good distance from Neil probably because of the time the man had tapped Neil on the shoulder whilst Neil was zoning out and received a punch to the jaw, Neil still wasn't sorry for that and he never will be.
"They're from a university, they came to watch you play tonight" Hernandez must be feeling brave because he steps closer and raises a hand as if to put it on Neil's shoulder, to touch.
Neil automatically steps back, there isnt much space to go he feels cornered by the group around him, crossing his arms over his chest tightly "if you want to keep your hand I suggest you don't touch me" Neil warns, hand itching to grab his switchblade that he keeps in the mesh pocket of his duffel bag for easy grabbing.
There's a moment of awkward silence where they all stare at him funny, save for Hernandez who is used to it, that Neil just let's sit, simply because he can and also because it's kinda funny to his mashed up brain.
Then the saying 'all good things must come to an end eventually' sadly becomes real in this situation because Wymack opens his mouth.
"We saw how well you played and Kevin decided we need you on our team" Wymack gestured to Kevin who is staring at Neil carfully.
"No thanks" Neil says, turning on his heel and walking away to find an emergency exit since the one he planned to leave through is blocked.
He hears Hernandez, Wymack and Kevin all yell after him but Neil doesn't stop, he's tired and hasn't slept because the night before his mind kept him awake with the fear of his fathers people finding him.
Neil searches his jeans pocket as he walks, in search for his phone. The only reason Mary had allowed phones was only because Neil's therapists needed to keep in contact.
All because one time when he was still 16, Neil had fallen into such a deep episode it felt like this life wasn't his own, and he didn't belong to himself, Neil had been left in the house they were squatting in, whilst Mary had left to pick up they're ids, Neil has picked up a blade without thinking and plunged it into his wrist and pulling it to create a larger cut, he remembers the blood splattering his face and the wall beside him but didn't move to remove the blade or cover it.
He had sat there and watch the blood spur and spill as his mind taunted him for hitting rock bottom and finally trying leave a world Neil never asked for to begin with.
Mary had come back and and was forced to actually call an ambulance because she alone couldn't stitch Neil up.
Neil didn't remember much after that only faint words in a hospital room about a temporary stay in the psych ward, he remembers Mary's honest hesitant look. She didn't look mad, no it had been fear and knowing on her face, she had accepted the doctors offer and Neil stayed in a pysch ward for 2 weeks.
It was a strange experience that Neil's brain decided to block out, Mary had asked if Neil had told anyone anything or met anyone suspicious when he was released into her care, the answer was no.
Now though Neil huffs and gives up on searching for his phone since sadly the group behind him seemed insistent on following him no matter how far Neil tried to walk away so finally Neil stops and spins back around.
"Your an interesting runaway" Andrew Minyard is the closest somehow, even with the shortest legs, hazel eyes have a glint of interest that Neil forces himself to unhook his focuse from, but the colour is like a warm sun radiating from a deep earthy
"And your shorter then me" Neil blurts out and takes pleasure in the annoyed twitch of Andrews eyebrow.
"Finally you stop" Kevin huffs out, stopping beside Andrew with wymack following, Hernandez had the right thought and keeps a safer distance when he stops.
"I'm not interested in joining a team" he says firmly before they can try convince him.Neil steps back away from Minyard when the smell of smoke clinging to the blonde clothes gets to strong for his sensitive nostrils.
"Kid, if you sign you'll be a fox for just 5 years" Wymack tries again with convincing, Andrews gaze is locked on Neil but Neil skillfully ignores him.
"Your wasting your time, find another striker" Neil takes another step back, planning to slowly inch away because if he runs he's like 98% sure he'll throw his guts up onto the ground.
A hand grabs Neil's shirt, Neil doesn't even blink as he throws a fist and hits someone's gut, the person he hits wheezes before pulling themselves together, by then Neil's already thrown himself backwards against the cold wall.
It must've been Andrew he punched based loosely on the fact he's hunched over slightly and Kevin looks shocked.
"I doubt you'll recruit me now" Neil mumbles, not disappointed at all, he knows he should leave right this instance, the two fresh lighter burns he made on his ankle are aching against his sock, it's probably infected because Neil didn't want to waste bandages on it. It would've been useless anyway, any sort of burn Neil seems to get always manages to get an infection, Bandages or not.
"You alright Minyard?" Wymack asks Andrew who wipes his mouth and stands up straight once more.
"All good" Andrew grunts, Neil doesn't feel bad in the slightest, he's not used to strangers touching him.
"I'm so sorry" Hernandez apologises for Neil, stepping closer and infront of Neil so he's behind his coach, well that he can appreciate, he feels like he's gonna hurl.
A sad side affect of his lamotrigine was the double vision and nausea, Neil should call and ask Eifa if she can get his medications changed, so far Eifa has been Neil's favourite therapist because of how patient she is and how she handles Neil with the truth when he needs it, no kiddy gloves or babying, just pure intentions to care for him.
Before anyone else can get another word in a familiar voice calls out Neil's name, Eifa Crofter, Neil smiles for the first time at the sight of the woman as she walks over, her black hair is a messy bun with a few intricate clips holding her curtains bangs to the side, her green eyes scan the group before landing on Neil.
"My, your quite popular" Eifa teases softly as she stops beside him, Neil can feel himself calm down at being around someone he's familiar with.
"I'm sorry are you his mother?" Wymack asks, scanning Eifa, Hernandez does the same, it makes sense he's never met his so called parents.
"You can say that" Eifa responds calmly, for the days when Neil struggles he'll text Eifa in the mornings before school and she will pick him up after practice, it felt motherly and so you could say Neil saw her a bit like a mother figure
Even whilst knowing a bit about Neil's living situation she's only ever asked once if Neil has thought about a homeless shelter, Neil had declined and the topic was never brought up again.
"Well were here to recruit Neil to our team, palmetto state foxes under an exy scholarship" Wymack looks pleased at meeting someone who could be a parent and could convince Neil, tis a shame because Neil tends to always listen to Eifa's ideas or convincing.
"I see, give me a second" Eifa flashes her gentle smile when wymack nods accepts and steps back with his team and turns to face Neil with her height she has to look down at him a bit, "how are you doing today Neil?" Eifa asks between the two of them so the group can't hear, Hernandez has stepped back with them and is talking to wymack and Kevin.
"Decent" Neil isn't lying, his day hadn't been terrible, only a few hitches in the road but he supposes that's normal "my head feels busy" Neil also admits, ever since he met and got used to Eifas comfort he has to admit he's been more honest about how he is mentally.
He's sure his mother is rolling in her sandy grave at the honesty though, even when she allowed the therapy she always made sure Neil was vague with answers, now without her Neil felt more comfortable.
"Good good, anything else?" Eifa asks because she knows Neil.
Neil sighs and pushes his brown dyed hair out his face "I punched the short blonde one" he says scratches at his own scalp a little.
"Did he do anything to you?" Eifa asks another question, Neil doesn't mind her voice is soothing to his nerves which are frazzled.
"Just grabbed my sleeve, I ment to get him in the face" Neil leans against the closest wall and notices the group have stopped talking and turned back to Neil and Eifa.
"Have we come to a choice?" Wymack asks before anyone else can speak.
Neil takes one looke at Eifas smile and sighs again"Sure I'll sign" and just like that Neil's signs the dotted line the contract says goodbye to his mother's rules and walks away with Eifa to her car, not bothering to say goodbye to anyone else.
The walk to Eifa's car is blissful silence, she unlocks the car and Neil gets into the passenger seat as Eifa gets into the drivers seat, starting the car after putting her seatbelt on, Neil doesn't bother with his seatbelt no matter how safe he feels a seat belt will slow him down in the midst of things.
"Do you think I'll like it?" It's Neil's turn to question Eifa since they are alone, he tends to avoid talking if the conversation is useless to him.
"Exy or south Carolina?" Eifa shoots back easily as she drives, not taking her eyes off the road once.
Neil doesn't respond for a few minutes and Eifa doesn't push for an answer, exy is a violent sport that Neil only uses for when his emotions feel to much for his body or when he feels nothing at all.
He used to have enjoyment for the sport but as he grew and went on the run with his mother then starting medication, that joy withered into a crumpled leaf, left to be stood on until the wind weaved it away.
"I'm not sure" Neil mutters in response to her, letting his head rest against the window and watching the small streets of Millport pass by.
"What if I were to move offices?, me and me kids have been planning to move anyhow, south Carolina sounds nice" Eifa suggests, she's not pushing the matter, Neil knows if he says no she'll accept that and probably move somewhere else, he also knows that therapists are to keep a professional distance from patients and refraine from getting into relationships with them but Neil's not sure if a mother son relationship would count, he supposes it would be he won't snitch to anyone.
Neil has to pick up his head to rummage through his duffel which he had put by his feet for his medication and water bottle, he taps out a singular pill and swallows it with lukewarm water thats probably a day old, then puts everything back to lay his head back where it was before, laying his trust in Eifa's hands in favour of taking what feels like a well desevered nap.