Work Text:
Oros stopped working abruptly for the fifth time that day. He sighed. His hand was shaking, he was nervous, but he couldn’t understand why. No alarm had gone off to make him think of his previous colleague. So why was he acting like this? These things had happened before, and he had panicked about alarms before, he just wasn’t used to company. He was embarrassed by the fact that he couldn’t even do his work right without his body physically preventing him from working on the new warp core (and transporter). He didn’t dare make eye contact with Ruon, he knew that he would break down into tears if he did. He really appreciated Ruon comforting him a few days ago, but he didn’t want to seem incompetent. And he didn’t want to get attached. He knew it would only hurt more in the end if he did. He learned his lesson, and he wasn’t going to repeat it.
“Hey, what’s wrong? Are you okay?” Ruon had still seemed to notice.
Oros couldn’t blame him, when Ruon did speak, he realized how fast his breathing had become, “Uhm. Y-yes. I just need a minute…”
Oros reached his hand that was shaking even harder up to one of his projects before it was suddenly grabbed by Ruon, “Osyra won’t notice if you stop working for ten minutes.”
Oros still avoided looking at Ruon, instead looking at the hand holding his wrist, “I-I just need to keep working. It’ll clear my head.”
“No it won’t.” Ruon slowly traced his hand up to Oros’s shoulder and Oros finally looked at him.
Oros let tears fall down his face as he let out a sob, “I don’t know what’s wrong with me.”
Ruon shook his head, “There’s nothing wrong with you. Being here…it messes you up. Especially with what you had to go through…you have every right to feel this way.”
Oros pulled away from Ruon, “I can’t do this again. I can’t get attached.”
As Oros walked to the other side of their very cramped room, Ruon followed, “Look. That’s not what I’m trying to do, okay? We don’t have to be friends. I’m just saying that pushing yourself won’t make this end any faster.”
Oros leaned back against the window to their room as he tilted his head back and just shook it. He then slowly slid to the ground and let out a few more sobs. Ruon just stared, torn between providing comfort and letting Oros be. But Oros had started to hyperventilate and worry swelled in Ruon’s chest. Ruon reached a hand out for a moment before sitting right next to Oros and putting an arm around his shoulder.
In between Oros’s choked sobs he could hear him saying, “I can’t lose you too. Not you. Please not you.”
Suddenly, Ruon placed a hand on Oros’s cheek and turned his face towards his, “I’m not gone. I’m right here. And I’ll stay here. I’ll be here when we go to Kayalise. You won’t lose me.”
Oros slowed his breathing a bit at the touch, but he still sobbed into Ruon’s shoulder. They spent more time than Ruon had said they would, but that didn’t matter. And as Ruon whispered soft “It’s gonna be okay.” ‘s, Oros felt a small part of him feel safe. Maybe it was selfish that he was keeping this person all to himself, but even if he died in the most brutal way in front of him, he knew he’d only think of this. A gentle hand sliding up and down his back, an ever strong shoulder to cry on, and an assurance that it would all be okay.
By the time Oros had given one last sigh leaning over on Ruon’s shoulder, their last meal of the day had been allowed, “I’m sorry. I really hope this doesn’t make me seem incompetent.”
After Ruin practically chugged the glass of water in his hands he said, “You’re the sharpest mind I think I’ve ever seen in my life. There’s nothing that can outshine that.”
Oros just softly smiled to himself as he continued to eat. And maybe if he curled up in Ruon’s arms that he wasn’t aware. And maybe the conversation he had with Ruon in which Ruon revealed that his second name was Tarka, the conversation that continued was incoherent.
He was selfish to keep this whole person to himself in such a cruel world, but he didn’t mind being selfish for once.