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Language:
English
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Published:
2016-12-31
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725
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1/1
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8
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24
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bad_post_mya.doc

Summary:

helloe professor,.... here is what i did over winter break,...

Notes:

happy new years

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

(written by exogenesis, i just super duper did not want "shrek" listed on my page as a fandom lmao)

 

Shrek saw Dimp walk into the bar and was instantly taken aback by the sheer BEAUTY......

"DAMN i thought i was the only green hottie in the bar mami."

Dimp turned around and saw Shrek's squared shoulders and tender smile before a look of digust spread over his face.

"w8. hold up."

dimp whispered, "whats wrong bb," he roared.

"u. dont have no ears. how can u listen to my sexy voice," shrek cried sullenly.

"i hav earholes at the side of my head....... like a dolphin or some shit. dolphins got earholes right?" dimp cried, quietly.

"idk bihnch. but u hot... but u seem smart too. i mean, not everyone knos about dolphins an shit."

"thas true."

"youre super smart....." shrek says lovingly (a/n: omg i swear they are my otp!!!!)..... whats ur name, babe! ur not like the other bois in the yard."

"mi nombre es dimple, but you can call me dimp :)" he whispered into shrek's ear. shrek could feel shivers down.....down his spine.... shrek didnt know if dolphins could do that but it was p cool.

"my name is shrek, but just for u," he says in an accent that made him as sexi as bumpkindick pumpkin patch. "u can call me shre." dimp could feel his little leggis melt underneath him. shrek was so hot. he couldn't believe that shrek thought that he was smart. shrek was obvi a v v v v smart man.... but for shrek- no, for shre to call him smart...

it made dimp want to cry.

"shre!" he screamed quietly. the whole rest of the bar heard them but they didnt say anything. all they did was give was give nasty looks at the new couple. "dongs," dimp said under his breath, loudly.

(a/n: ok i had to take a break from writing because i started sweating but im back now!!!!)

"hey bb... lets get out of here... go do something fun ;)" shre said with his mouth

"ok bb ;)" dimp said w his nose.

and then they left the bar and went to a science fair. they then realized that all of the projects sucked because it was a preschool science fair. so instead they competed in a science bowl because dimp was so smart.

(a/n: ok u guys get ready because stuff is about to go freaking down!!!!!"

"OK EVERY1" the host screamed excitededly!! bc shit im excited too! the host said "here is the final question of the science bowl lmao :o!!!!"

"who was the first president of-"

"OF MY HEART???? SHRE-CHAN OBVIOUSLY??"

shrek yelled from the back of the room.

"DAM ROIGHT bb!!!! I LOVE U MATE!!!!"

"dimp yelled back towards the audience "SHIT I LOV U TOO BB MWAH"

the audience was so moved by their passion8 cries that they started roaring too. im not kidding. the audience was like. lions or something. everyone in the audience? a lion. it was weird.

the judge, which was sonic the hedgehog? also a lion. he was crying with a blank face. "CONGRATS!!! u win the science bowl dimp!!!! ur prize is..... ur freedom!!!!"

"YAY!!!! THATS MY LITTLE ONE!!! GOOOOOO DIMP!!!!" shre-chan screeched from the audience from his mouth. he waved his armies. "YAAAAAA go DIMP-CHAN!!!!!!"

shre-chan was v happy.

dimp was v happy.

"dimp-chan....will u merry mi"

"nah" dimp said. "im actually gonna br8k up w u rn actually lol XDDDDD"

"nani deska???? why dimp-chan?" said shre-san with his hand over his mouth as he cried like a fuckin loser lmao.

"because," he whispered."

"its not u," he cried.

"then what is it?" shre-chan yelped.

"its ur accent....................it reminds me of ben da woop shoop de woop too much..................."

"NOOOOOOOOOO1!!!!1!!! dimp chan...... ilu."

"lol bye"

then sonic the hedgehog came in started crying. the audience of dolphins? also crying.

(what? the audience was full of loins? ok lol)

then sonic the hedgehog came in an started cryhgning. the audience of lions? also crying. every1 was crying,

shre-chan started vomitting flowers and then he died. dimp felt bad but he went to another bar so he could charm another ogre

and so the cycle continued.

(a/n: pls like comment and subscribe for new videos every week xoxoxoxoxo)

 

Notes:

this is my hanahaki au