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the soft sunlight cascaded down to Caleb’s house that day. It was a day like any other, Caleb softly humming tunes, while the scent of his food completely encompassed the house. You both stayed up late last night, building another one of those intricate aeroplane sets he got. He was in his element, telling you which model the aeroplane was, when it first took flight, and even shared an indulgent story of how he got to ride it.
Ever since everything happened around you two, it became rarer to see him this excited over such stuff around you. You didn’t exactly press him about it, especially because you knew that he wanted to be seen as someone dependable to you.
But nonetheless, he was your Caleb, and you missed having him completely info dump random stuff about aeroplanes and physics. Which is exactly why, you were going to leave out the perfect bait for him. You hurriedly scribble the last few sentences onto your diary, convinced that if you write faster, you can fit everything onto the very last page.
Caleb practically swings into your room. “Hey pips! Breakfast is ready!” He chirps, in that sweet sound of his. Perfect. Just as you finished the last page. You slowly close the journal in front of you and put it in its usual spot, careful so that Caleb wouldn’t get suspicious too early. Then you pull yourself out of the chair and let Caleb lead you to the kitchen.
He’s setting up the table when you make the first move. You rip a notepad from the fridge and start listing down random stuff that you wanted from the mall. It’s the most undeniable way to get Caleb’s attention. A list of things you need. “Shirts, a bag, makeup, a journal - wait, why do you need a journal?” Caleb questions from behind you, his hand on your shoulders as a steadying grip while he leans down to look at your face.
“I just finished mine this morning. It was the one you got me on my birthday last year.” You answer while looking up to meet his eyes. “That quick?” He replies, while slowly dragging me to the table to have breakfast. It was a simple eggs, toast, and tea. “Yea, actually. I guess I just had a lot to write you know.” You nonchalantly mention.
His ears perk up at that. “Am I allowed to ask what you wrote in there that got it filled up so quickly?” He says, a playful smile tugging at his lips. You pretend to go deep in contemplation at his question, as if you were actually wondering whether it was worth letting him read it. You even spare him a slightly guilty glance too, just to top it all off.
“I’m not sure actually. I don’t really know the answer to that yet.” You answer, avoiding his prying eyes at all costs and slowly taking sips of your tea. After a beat of silence, he changes the subject. Bingo! You have him trapped and curious now. “Sooo are you going to the mall with me?” He asks. “No. You know my friend Tara right? She came up here in sky haven for a vacation to cool off her nerves for a bit. We haven’t met up in a while so she suggested we go shopping together for some souvenirs.” You ramble. Your plan was set in motion. All you needed to do was step out of the house now. “Doesn’t she know that this is practically your home?” Caleb teases. “No, not yet. I plan to tell her when we meet up. Also, I’m pretty sure she’ll figure that out herself once she shops with me. I’ll buying normal stuff and clothes anyway.” You answer dismissively. Caleb gives you a tight smile at that.
“I’ll send some money so you can shop freely. Bring me something you like too, okay?” He states. You shoot him an incredulous look. “You literally sent me my allowance yesterday. I don’t need money at all.” His allowance was more than what you made in a year for goodness sake. He still pulls out his phone to send you money. “hey Caleb! Is that Gideon outside your house?” You rush to distract him. In the split second he turns away, you snatch his phone and make a run for it.
It doesn’t take Caleb less than five minutes to reach you. You both engage in a cat and dog chase for the next fifteen minutes. Just when you think Caleb was going to let it go, you make a fatal mistake in judgement. You enter his room. He follows you in, and traps you from reaching the door. “Just accept that you lost pipsqueak.” He grins. “No.way.” You fire back, while standing on top of his bed. Your phone starts ringing in the other room. You instinctively look to where the sound is coming from. Caleb wastes no time in taking this sweet opportunity, and making the most out of it. Before you know it, he’s got you pinned down on his bed.
He effortlessly pins both of your hand above you and snatches his phone back. “Told ya you should’ve called it quits.” He smirks. “That wasn’t fair! I got distracted because someone was calling!” You protest. He shifts from his position to let you sit up properly, and easily slips the phone back in his pocket. “Oh? But it’s fair when you snatch it from my hand after purposely distracting me?” He compares. “But that’s different! Who even falls for such an obvious distraction?” You mock him. “Okay, okay pips, I get your point. No money. Just don’t be too mad will you?” He pleads, ruffling your hair.
…
Caleb drops you off at the mall. You can already see Tara near the entrance looking around. “Tara!” You wave at her. “Hey! It’s been so long since we hung out together!” She exclaims. Her gaze shifts to Caleb. “Ah, this is Caleb. He’s practically family to me.” You introduce. “Tara right? She talks a lot about you.” Caleb casually says.
After that conversation, you and Tara both say your goodbyes to Caleb and make your way into the mall.
…
Upon reaching home, Caleb tries to watch TV. when that doesn’t work, he makes his way over to puzzles. But in the quiet serenity of his home, his mind keeps drifting back to that conversation you had in the morning, about your journal. He really didn’t intend to read it for a while. He wanted to wait long enough for you to deem him reading it insignificant. Or funny. But his mind kept shifting to the expression you made. So hesitant and secretive. Like it would be weird if he knew.
Caleb tries to buzz away the thoughts that were now clouding his head. What if she was mad at him for something? What if she remembered something about those days in the lab? His head was fully swirling now. He really did try to push them away. But, after a whole five more minutes of fidgeting, he makes his decision. He is your husband. Your family. He has a right to know what his wife is writing in those journals.
…
Back at the mall, you and Tara were having the time of your life. When She slipped in the bathroom for a minute, you casually check your phone for any alerts or texts. Instead of seeing those, a hidden notification from your barrage of spam notifications catches your eye. It was a transferred amount of money in your account. The money you told him that you didn’t need. You open your chat history with Caleb and see the message he left that morning.
- Enjoy pips. :)
It was sent at 8:47 AM. Probably an hour (?) or so after you told him you didn’t need him to send you money. You take a deep breath and reply to his message with a thumbs down.
You are such a liar, Caleb. >:(
You reply to him. He was such a big fat liar.
…
The house is a different type of quiet when you creep inside. You swiftly close the door behind you and call out to Caleb. The house itself answers in silence. This was unusual for Caleb. Even if he was quiet, you could always feel his warm presence surrounding the house. You drop your shopping bags at the front of your room and peek inside. Caleb is on the floor by the desk reading your journal. Exactly as you planned. His eyes are red rimmed, and he holds it like something very dear to him.
“Caleb?” You call out once again. He looks up this time. His eyes carry that guilty look of ‘I’m sorry but I’ll do it again’ that you’ve learned to read all too well. “You read my journal.” You state. He simply pats down on the space beside him in response, and you sit down next to him. He looks like he’s holding everything in him trying not to cry.
In all honesty, you wrote this journal exactly for him to find. Caleb was not the person he once was before he became colonel, and while that was completely fine, he slowly became closed off around you. He did not try to explain everything that he thought was ‘Cool’ now, and didn’t point out the inaccuracies in TV shows whenever he could. While his love for those things still remained, he was hesitant to show it off around you. You planned this day the moment you received this journal from him. To show him that he was heard and loved.
“You wrote down the stuff I told you about aeroplanes?” He murmurs. Instead of answering right away, you look down at the journal that took you so long to finish. Inside, every entry contained a date and time about when Caleb would endlessly start telling you about aeroplanes and flight, about every model, and their every detail. You wrote down what you heard and what you thought about those aeroplanes based on his experiences and what he told you. It was practically a record of everything he ever told you.
And he loved it.
He loved it so much he did not have the words to say it.
His eyes were dark and seemingly in a daze in his love for you. Instead of being his usual bright and cheerful self, he reached out to bury his face in your neck, inhaling your scent as if he couldn’t get enough of it. You reach out to play with his hair and he leans into the touch, pulling himself down so you could reach it better.
You stay like that for a while. Warm and present.
“I take it you like this journal?” You question. Though it really was senseless one, knowing his reaction to it. “I love it.” He answers, in a deep gruff tone. His eyes shine through holding back un-shed tears. “It’s yours then. It was meant to be.” You admit, in the quiet shared space of the house.
…
The journal now sits right beside the other one, the one you drabbled in when you were angry with Caleb. He kept them both decorated on his shelf, occasionally taking one of them to work with him on hard days. Everytime he wakes from a nightmare, gets sick, or is just in a bad mood, looking at those journals reminds him of the love you hold for him. And that is more than enough to keep Caleb going.