Chapter Text
Grace couldn’t help himself pacing through the halls of the facility, back and forth while workers passed and watched him. Some give him irritated or annoyed looks as he almost slams into them while not looking where he was going. He couldn’t focus. How could he possibly focus?
He has three hours to decide whether or not he wants to die in space.
Save the world, die in space. Decide not to go, watch as the world falls about possibly because of the choice he made. So many great options to choose from.
Stratt was clear in what she said, she wanted him to go. Carl wanted him to go. Ilyukhina and Yao wanted him to go. They all wanted him to go to space… and die there. To save Earth.
Everything was somehow hurting and numb at the same time. He felt betrayed and tricked and mortified. Somewhere deep in his soul screamed at him, agreeing with Stratt that of course he should go. Everything else in his body clamped shut, terrified by the thought of death. Not death alone, he’d have Yao and Ilyukhina. But still, death.
Maybe he was being selfish, Grace thought to himself as he brisked through the halls, the corners of his vision blurring in his haste. He was being a coward. Because, Stratt was right. He had no family, no dog, and after that meeting, Grace was pretty sure he probably didn’t really qualify to have any close friends either–
“You alright, Ryland?”
A deep voice cuts straight through his train of thought. A hot knife through butter. He knows the owner of the sound, in his spiral he had almost forgotten one person who he had seen no present at the meeting. Maybe he had one close friend.
Simon Fisher, standing there with his hands in his pockets and looking cool as ever next to Grace currently having a mental breakdown. The other man’s eyes are filled with a deep sympathetic concern. Normally in situations like this, Grace would just say he’s fine and move on. But he had less than three hours to decide if he wanted to live or die. There was no point in subtlety.
“Did you know that this was going to happen? Did you know that Stratt was going to ask me to go?” Grace asks quietly, his fists balled and he stared at his feet.
Simon looked pained. He was one of the lead engineers on the project, and Grace was surprised (but not unhappy) that he wasn’t there to guilt him into going. Grace wasn’t exactly sure why though. Every other major scientist or researcher or really anyone who was important and Grace knew was there to give him sad looks. So why wasn’t Simon?
“I was hoping that Stratt wouldn’t actually go through with it.” Simon said softly, rubbing the back of his neck and staring downward as well.
Simon sighs and Grace can sense him looking at the top of his head, a silent ask for Grace to look at him.
“I told Stratt that I didn’t want to be there. If she was going to do it.” Simon pursed his lips slightly. “I couldn’t be forced to look at you while you were being told that everyone wanted you to give up your life.”
There was a long silence between them as Grace looked up, his wire frames hanging crooked on his face. There are words that go unspoken for a while, before Grace starts again, his voice breaking up.
“Do you want me to go?” Grace asks, trying his hardest to not let tears breach his eyes.
“That doesn’t matter.” Simon answers immediately with a scoff of a laugh. He grabs one of Grace’s hands in his own. “What matters is what you want. I wasn’t and I’m still not going to tell you that I want you dead.”
There is a pause, the two men’s fingers slide together, interlocking in a safe grasp.
“I don’t know what I want.” Grace says, he can feel his whole body shaking. “I know what the right thing to do is. But I’m terrified to do it.”
Tears roll down Grace’s face and he quickly wipes them away with the sleeve of his sweater. Simon quickly leads them both down a more empty corridor, out of the way of passerbys who will see.
“It sounds like you don’t want to go then.” Simon says, squeezing Grace’s hand.
Grace shakes his head, turning his face and trying to hide the shame he felt.
“I’m scared, Simon. I don’t want to die. I didn’t sign up to die.” Grace says, his glasses slipping down the bridge of his nose.
Suddenly, he feels warmth, Simon’s arms wrapping around him and bringing him into a soft embrace. The two of them stand there in silence for what seems like forever. Grace wishes he could stay like this forever.
“You don’t have to do it. I’m sure you don’t.” Simon says as he rubs circles on Grace’s back and whispers into his shoulder. “I’m sure that Stratt will be able to find someone else. You know better than anyone what that woman can do.”
Grace sniffles, his glasses bending upward as he leans his face into Simon, wetting his upper sleeve with his tears. “But—”
“Shh.” Simon says, staying there with the two of them pressed together. “All you have to do is go to her and tell her that you can’t. It’ll be okay.
The two of them stand there ever longer, Grace feeling the tranquility of having a soothing shoulder to cry on.
Simon was always so nice to Grace. From the moment they met and Simon got to see Grace give a stupid fun fact about centrifuges being used to make butter to the party just a couple weeks prior where they shared a couple of drinks and Simon tried and failed to convince Grace to do karaoke with him. Simon could have followed Stratt’s orders and sat in the meeting to guilt Grace into going on the mission. But he didn’t. Simon cared about him.
It takes a while before Grace finally pulls away from the other man. Simon holds Grace by the shoulders and stares into his puffy red eyes. Grace sniffles.
“I… still don’t know what I want to do.” Grace says slowly as he softly pushes Simon hands away and they fall back to his sides.
“Well, if it’s any help, I would want you to stay.” Simon says with a smile. “Not only because you seem to not want to, but because I like you, Ryland. You’re a great guy. And if you decide not to go, I want to get to know you better.” He shrugs. Grace could feel his face getting hotter.
“Thank you…” Grace says back, trying his hardest to not start crying again.
Simon’s smile grows slightly wider. “Anyway, I’d love to stay here with you, but I have work to do. And I can sense that you probably want some more alone time to think about it.”
Grace nods, Simon returns the gesture. They don’t say anything else but Simon rests a hand on Grace’s shoulder for just a moment before he passes over into the next hall, leaving Grace alone with his thoughts.
That was the last time that Simon Fisher ever saw Ryland Grace.