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Early morning of January 8th, 2026
Matt runs with Jay down the streets of Toronto. It’s a wonderful sunny day, and the city looks beautiful. Light reflects off all the buildings, and the sun is perfectly positioned above the CN tower. There are birds flying about, singing songs only they know the words to. But Matt is only focusing on one beautiful Bird right in front of him. Jay looks behind him, and smiles.
They reach a corner, and Jay stops. He turns around and gives Matt a big kiss. As they make out, the sky turns cloudy. It starts to rain, but neither of them care. Matt opens his eyes to look at how beautiful Jay is, and sees a lightning bolt heading straight for him. He moves Jay out of the way, and gets hit. It’s the worst pain he’s ever felt, and he screams.
Matt wakes up screaming, before realizing he’s ok. Just another nightmare where he sacrifices himself to save Jay. He knows that he’s not gonna get any good sleep the rest of the night, just endless thoughts. Holding onto Jay helps a lot though. Where is he anyway? He’s usually all over Matt when he has a nightmare, assuring him that he’s safe.
He turns to look at Jay, but he isn’t in bed with him. Maybe he’s in the bathroom? Matt gets up, and it feels like he’s walking in water. The light to the bathroom is on, so he knocks.
“Jay? I had a nightmare.”
Nobody answers. Matt searches the rest of the house, and finds a mirror downstairs. He doesn’t remember ever getting this. He looks at his reflection, but it’s not him. It’s a version of himself with charred clothes and burnt skin. There’s pliers and an extension cord melted to his hands.
“Hi, Matt.” Mirror Matt says. His voice is echoey and distant.
“Who are you?”
“I’m Matt. I died to save Jay, and you replaced me.”
“No I didn’t! Jay saved me by fixing the whiteboard! He brought me back!”
“You weren’t brought back. You’re just a perfect copy of me, with all of my memories.”
“Those are my memories! I’ve been with Jay my whole life!”
“That’s true to you, but in reality, you were created the moment Jay fixed the timeline.”
“What are you saying?! That I’m not real?!”
“No, you are real. You’re just a clone, and you’ll never really be me. You’ll never be anyone.”
That’s the last straw for Matt, who punches the mirror. It shatters, revealing an empty void where Mirror Matt stands. He jumps at Mirror Matt, who doesn’t even react as he strangles him. They both fall into darkness.
“FUCK YOU!”
“I didn’t want to hurt you, but you’ve taken drastic measures.”
Mirror Matt stabs him in the back with the plier hand. Matt screams. It feels like he’s being shocked to death. He tries to pull it out of himself, but Mirror Matt just inches it deeper into him. He feels the pliers snip away at his insides, and he wants this dream to end.
“Matt!” Jay yells. “It’s ok!”
Matt awakens with Jay in bed next to him. Jay’s hugging him, and stroking his chest. Matt turns around to look at Jay, who looks worried. He gives Jay a hug back, and they just lie like that in bed for a while.
“You’re ok, Matt. Whatever happened wasn’t real. You’re safe here with me.” He whispers.
“It was another lightning dream. It hurt a lot.”
“It didn’t actually hurt you. You’re perfectly fine and safe. I won’t ever let anything hurt you, MJ. I love you so so much.”
Matt doesn’t say anything for a bit. He wonders if Jay actually loves him, or if he loves Mirror Matt. His heart hurts at the thought. He doesn’t want to be a replacement goldfish, he just wants to be Matt Johnson.
“Matt? You ok?”
Matt realizes that he’s been crying. Jay wipes the tears away from his face, and his hug becomes even tighter. Matt settles on the idea that Jay does love him, if only to make himself and Jay happy.
“Love you too, Jay. I love you more than you love me.”
Jay smiles and gives Matt a kiss when he says that. It doesn’t make him feel any better. They both try to get some sleep, before realizing it’s morning. They get out of bed, and Matt feels a strange but faint pain in his back. It’s where Mirror Matt stabbed him.
—
Matt can’t think of a plan today. He did come up with something last night, but it must have washed away between his nightmares. He tries to come up with something else, but he finds that he just can’t. Maybe he’ll just never make a plan again, maybe he’ll break up the band, maybe he’ll break up with Jay.
“What’s today’s plan, MJ?” Jay asks with a smile. His fangs stick out.
“I don’t have one.”
“Hm. Let’s have a video game day instead!”
“Yeah, sure.”
They sift through the hundreds of games they have for several different systems, before settling on Wii Sports. Matt finds himself staring at his reflection again, but still nothing happens. Then he finds himself looking at another reflection, his Mii he made years ago. A stupid little smile, bright blonde hair compared to his dirty blonde, and wide eyes.
He realizes this isn’t his Mii, it’s Mirror Matt’s Mii. One he made alongside Jay’s Mii in the apartment, where Matt never actually lived. This wonderful house Matt bought for him and Jay after their second one burnt down, is the only home he’s ever lived in. All of a sudden, Matt doesn’t want to play Wii Sports anymore. He just sits on the couch and sulks.
“What’s wrong?” Jay asks.
“I’m still thinking about my dream.” Matt says. A half truth.
“Wow. Must have been one messed up lightning dream.”
Jay stops playing the game, and gives Matt a hug. He strokes Matt’s hair, and gently rocks Matt back and forth. He moves his hand slowly over Matt’s back. It runs over the spot where Mirror Matt stabbed him. Matt expects it to hurt, but instead he feels better, like Jay’s hands are healing him.
“Can you rub your hand over that spot? It’s been aching a lot.”
Jay gently rubs the spot, and the pain slowly ebbs away. Matt hugs him back, and closes his eyes. He’s afraid that Mirror Matt will come back, but it’s just darkness. He’s never been more happy to see pitch black darkness before. His dreams would be better like this.
“Do you feel better?”
“Yeah. Can we play something else?”
“Yes, Matt.”
They settle on Mario 64. Matt leans on Jay while he plays. Jay is really the only thing making him feel better right now. He holds onto him, as if letting go would separate them forever. But he has to let go eventually. Matt goes to the bathroom, and tries to see if Mirror Matt will appear when nobody is watching. He doesn’t, not even when Matt looks away from the mirror for a while.
It’s just him he sees, the face that Jay loves so very much. A very long time ago, the real Matt wanted a new one. It was half because he just watched Face/Off, and half because people at school thought he looked stupid. Matt wasn’t the type of guy who cares about his appearance that much, but that got to him. The only one who didn’t make fun of him was Jay, who said he looked cool with all those moles and his big lips.
Maybe he should get a new one.
—
They have pizza for dinner from “Matt’s” favorite place. Matt can never turn down pizza, even when he feels like shit. He eats up several slices excitedly, and Jay seems pleased. Matt knows that’s exactly what he wanted. He guides Matt over to the couch once he’s done, and gets out some of “his” favorite movies.
“Which one do you want to watch?”
Matt looks at the choices laid out for him. Definitely not Back to The Future, or The Talented Mr. Ripley. He doesn’t feel like watching Robin Hood, or The Thing, or even Hackers. He finally settles on Die Hard, and Jay pops it in. They get on the couch and cuddle.
Matt enjoys the movie a lot. He’s on the edge of his seat the entire time, even though “he’s” seen the movie a bunch. The explosions light up the tv screen, which in turn lights up the couch. He catches glimpses of Jay looking at him, making sure he’s happy.
When the movie is over, they just sit for a while. Matt can feel Jay gently stroke his body, and feels his nose in his hair. He feels warm and safe with him, but it’s also making him sleepy. He’s afraid of sleeping, afraid of dreaming, afraid that Mirror Matt will come back.
“Ready for bed?”
“No. I wanna stay up all night.”
“Oh, are you busy cooking up a plan? Alright, I’ll be in bed if you change your mind.”
Jay gives him a little kiss, and Matt feels like he doesn’t deserve it. He gets up to get ready for bed, and Matt suddenly feels small. The whole world is big and scary, and the only thing that can fix that is Jay. He follows him upstairs, and Jay is both surprised and happy.
“I thought you wanted to stay up all night!”
“Changed my mind.”
They get ready for bed together, as they always do. When they get into bed, Matt holds Jay close to him. Jay doesn’t mind at all, because he gets to bury his face in Matt’s pecs. Matt laughs a little when he feels Jay’s nose brush against his thin shirt. Matt thinks this is the best time to finally ask the question that’s been bothering him all day.
“Do you love me?”
“Matt, what kind of a question is that?! Of course I love you!”
“Which version of me do you love? Me, or the me that died?”
Jay’s caught by surprise, and thinks for a while. Matt imagines gears turning in his head, trying to form some coherent thought. Matt shivers in anticipation, hoping that his answer will be good enough.
“You and him are the same Matt.” Jay finally says, staring into Matt’s eyes with wonder. “In one timeline, you died. In this timeline, you lived. It’s as simple as that.”
“But I never got to experience life with you. I wasn’t the Matt that met you in the woods, I wasn’t the Matt that pretended to kill himself, and I definitely wasn’t the Matt that drugged you. I’m nothing but a copy, with memories that aren’t mine.”
“Matt. You’re that Matt. I believe that you are. You’re the Matt that got 3 homes for me. You’re the Matt that got a bunk bed for us so that we could sleep together. You’re the Matt that loves me so much that you sacrificed yourself for me, even if you didn’t believe it was me. You’re Matt Johnson, my best friend for so many years, my beautiful boyfriend, the frontman of our band, and nothing can ever change that.”
He gives Matt a kiss on the lips, and Matt finally feels like himself. It doesn’t matter who he is, Jay will love him, and he will love Jay. That’s one of the many truths of the universe, one that can never be undone.
“To be honest, I was worried that you wouldn’t be, that I fucked something up along the way. But when I listened to you recite the Seventh Inning Skydive, I knew that nothing changed about you. You’re my Matt, and you always will be.”
Matt cries tears of happiness. He was so stupid to doubt Jay, so stupid to trust something from his dreams. He gives Jay hundreds and hundreds of kisses back.
“I love you, Bird. I love you forever and ever.”
Jay smiles when he hears Matt say his nickname, something he hasn’t said all day. He gives Matt one final kiss, and they fall asleep embracing each other.
—
Matt finds himself in his childhood home. It’s just as he remembers it. Something compels him to go to his bedroom. Once he gets there, he finds Mirror Matt, sitting on Matt’s bed.
“What more do you want?!” Matt asks. “Jay said he loves me, and that’s that.”
“Yes, I heard. Sorry that I hurt you, by the way.”
“He doesn’t think I’m a copy, so don’t spout any more of that bullshit! I’m me, and you’re also me! Every Matt is me!”
“You’re correct. I’m you too, but not exactly.”
“Then what are you?!”
“Honestly, I didn’t know. I thought I was you. I look like your final moments. I did want my life back, but I thought about it some more. I searched and searched for what I was.”
“Did you figure it out?”
“I’m a part of your soul, the part that was left behind with the time travel. I found out that I have to become a part of you again.”
“How do you do that?”
“I just gotta walk into you. Are you ok with that?”
“Yeah! I gotta be whole again after all!”
Mirror Matt gets up, and walks into Matt. Matt feels funny for a bit, but then he feels like himself. He’s finally whole again, though he didn’t know he even was broken in the first place. He puts his hand over his heart, and it beats happily. He feels the best he’s ever felt.
The dream shifts to him and Jay at High Park, sitting on a bench. They kiss, and no lightning hits him this time. It’s absolutely wonderful. In the morning, Matt wakes up, and has an idea for a plan. He wakes Jay up to tell him, and they both run downstairs.
“Ok, so this is the Die Hard plan! You pretend to be a terrorist, and I stop you by hiding in the vents, and jumping out once you invade the Rivoli!”
“That sounds like we’ll go to jail.”
“Eh, my dad’ll bail us out. He always does!”
While writing on the whiteboard, Matt finally sees Mirror Matt reflected back. Mirror Matt smiles, and he smiles back. Only he sees him, and that’s just fine with Matt. He wonders about the other parts of his soul, and hopes he meets those Matts one day. When him and Jay run out, Matt has a spring in his step he hasn’t felt in years.