Chapter Text
"Peter?"
Ned was pretty shocked when the flower guy from his party showed up to the diner he was currently having lunch in and bought even more flowers. He was even more surprised when he introduced himself with a different name.
He saw his hand as if it was someone else's do an intricate handshake with Peter, saw the way Peter's eyes widened with hope, so fragile it looked painful, and fear. So much fear.
And then he remembered.
Not everything. He could tell it wasn't everything, that there were still holes in his memory, that he was still missing so much time with his best friend and oh god, how could he have forgotten his best friend?
"Peter!" He couldn't have stopped himself from pulling Peter into a hug even if he had wanted to. "Holy shit"
"Ned?" He whispered, and Ned hugged him tighter. He was shaking, but he hadn't returned the hug "Do you-
"I remember." He said "Not everything, but… enough"
Peter melted, returning the hug so tightly Ned was a little worried about his ribs. He said nothing, though, it wasn't the time. Peter, when he had come into the diner, had looked so sad, so cold… whoever his new friends were must not have been doing as good a job as Ned and MJ, because they would have never let the shadows under his eyes look that deep.
"I'm sorry" Peter sobbed, so quiet he could barely hear him "I'm so sorry"
"Sorry about what?" Ned was not going to be the first to let go, but he did pull both of them down into chairs
"I-I- everything. I almost got you and MJ killed, I got Aunt May killed, a-and I-"
"The only thing you should apologize for is not finding me right after the spell." Actually, he was a little pissed off about that. Pissed off enough to pull back, ignoring the hitch in Peter's breathing. He kept his hands on his shoulders, at least. "Why didn't you?"
Peter flinched "What?"
"Why didn't you find me? I don't remember much, but I know you promised that"
"I did, kind of. I went to MJ's job after everything."
"Then why didn't you say anything?!"
Peter shrunk down into himself "You looked so happy. I couldn't do it."
"You don't think I would have been happier with my best friend?"
"Ned, being my friend is dangerous. The reason you remember Spider-Man saving you so many times in high school is because I put you in danger in the first place." He started to pull back, but Ned grabbed him tighter. He was not letting his best friend disappear again.
"That wasn't your choice to make!" He suddenly realized they were in public, and that the cashier was staring at them "We should talk about this in private. Come on, you're coming with me."
"I- I was here to-"
"I don't care if you're meeting up with a girl or whatever, you and I need to talk, and I don't trust you to vanish for another four years if I let you go. You're coming to my apartment and that's final"
Peter's eyes widened "Is MJ gonna be there?"
"Oh, shit, MJ" Ned cursed "We have to tell her!" He started pulling Peter after him, having been completely serious about the 'not letting him go' thing. "She's gonna be so mad you didn't keep your promise."
"She knows" Peter wasn't meeting his eyes as they traipsed through the streets of New York
"Fuck, really, man? She remembered before I did?"
Peter stopped moving, and Ned couldn't do anything but stop with him. Fucking super-strength.
"She knows, but she doesn't remember. She- I- I had a letter" His breathing started to pick up speed, and tears welled up in his eyes "She read it a-and-"
"Shh, it's okay" Ned rubbed Peter's arms "Shit, you're okay. Come on, we're close to my apartment, you can tell me everything once we're home."
So that is how he ended up with Peter Parker sitting on the beanbag Spider-Man had sat on only a few days before. The same beanbag Peter sat on a few days before. He was clutching his cup of tea like he would fall apart without it. Ned, on the other hand, was in the kitchen with MJ, not taking his eyes off Peter.
"So you just let him go?" He whispered. He knew Peter had enhanced senses, but maybe he was too distracted to pay attention to their conversation. "You didn't ask for his phone number or a way to contact him or anything?"
"What was I supposed to do?" MJ whispered back "I don't know him! To me, that's a stranger in the living room. Worse, he's a stranger that's in love with me!"
"Why didn't you tell me?"
"I thought it would be better if you didn't know you were missing someone. Especially if that someone was Spider-Man" Ned managed to tear his eyes off Peter long enough to glance at MJ. She was hugging herself, looking more uncertain than he'd ever seen her "Knowing you're missing something as important as him… It's not pleasant. If you didn't remember, it would have destroyed you."
Ned sighed, defeated. He couldn't stay angry at her, not when she made such sense. "You're right. You had no way of knowing it was even possible to get my memories back. I'm sorry"
"It's… it's fine" She sighed "Fuck, this is such a mess."
"Tell me about it." He saw Peter shut his eyes and start to shiver in the other room.
"I'll stay over at Paul's tonight." She said "You two should talk in private."
"You don't have to"
"Yeah, I do" She kissed his cheek "See you later, Ned. Bye, Peter"
Peter flinched so hard a little tea sloshed off his mug "B-bye, MJ- Michelle. Bye."
"You can call me MJ." She said, grabbing her coat. "I'll be back in the morning. Don't break anything."
The door closed just as Ned sat on the couch next to Peter. The hero looked like a strong breeze would knock him over, his eyes firmly planted on his mug.
"I'm still angry you broke you promise" He finally said "I think I deserve an explanation."
"I told you already, I thought you were happier. And safer."
Ned felt a hot curl of rage tighten around his heart "And I told you that wasn't your decision to make. You promised you would find us. We told you we wanted to have you in our lives. So don't go around saying that the reason you stayed away was our well-being!"
"Excuse me if I didn't want my best friends to get killed because of me! If someone threw themselves off the Brooklyn Bridge, you would catch them, no matter if they had decided to kill themselves or not!"
"Being your friend is not a death sentence!"
"Isn't it?" Peter curled up, hiding his face in his knees "You were put in danger so many times because of me. You could have died."
"But we didn't!"
"Gwen did"
Ned froze. Who was Gwen? The name sounded familiar, but he couldn't quite place it…
"Peter 3's girlfriend." Peter continued "She fell, and he couldn't catch her. She died because she was dating Spider-Man. Aunt May, too. She only died because of me."
Ned deflated. Yeah, that made sense. Losing his only family to a super villain his spell had called was probably enough to fuck him up thoroughly. Or, at least, fuck him up enough that he would think staying away from Ned and MJ was a good idea.
"You're wrong, you know? She didn't die because of you, she died because of the Green Goblin."
"I don't want you to die."
"Then I'll stay away from any fights. I don't want Spider-Man to be my friend, I want Peter"
Peter couldn't contain his sobs "I'm so sorry. God, I'm sorry, you're right, I should have just gone to you. I don't know why I didn't, I'm so stupid."
"I get it." Ned pulled Peter from the beanbag into the couch next to him and hugged him again "You were wrong, but you were just doing what you thought was right."
"Before this whole thing with Jean, no one had said my name in four years." Peter admitted, still sobbing into his shirt.
"Shit, man. You didn't make any friends in college?"
"I didn't go to college. Peter Parker doesn't really… exist. I don't have a birth certificate, or a high school diploma, or a social security number. It's like I was never even born."
"How do you pay for stuff?"
"Cash. I do odd jobs here and there. The Bugle pays decently for pictures of Spider-Man and Jameson doesn't really ask any questions."
"The Bugle hates Spider-Man"
"I need to eat, don't I?" Peter looked pretty comfortable in Ned's arms, so he didn't pull back. "Besides, you would not believe the bullshit other news outlets pull. Jameson hates Spider-Man, not everyone who's enhanced in any way. He's not a terrible guy."
Ned hummed. He mostly didn't pay attention to politics, but by virtue of being a Spider-Man superfan, he knew about the public's rising hostility towards enhanced people.
"He's still an asshole"
Peter snorted "That he is." He sighed, snuggling closer to Ned "I missed you so much."
"I missed you too" He realized.
"You didn't even remember me"
"No, but I still missed you." He ignored Peter's disbelieving snort "Think about it. I dedicated most of my free time to finding Spider-Man. I was never sure why I was so obsessed. I thought that maybe I was just grateful for all the times you saved me but I know now."
"Know what?"
"I wanted my best friend back. I didn't know how to find Peter Parker so I looked for Spider-Man. Even without my memories, I missed you to the point of invention."
Both of them were crying at that point. Ned was not ashamed to admit it.
"I'm so sorry I left you" Peter said "It hurt more than anything, to have you so close and not be able to- to reach you. To know that if I ever talked to you, you would just see a stranger."
"You should have told me" Ned inhaled, and the smell made him feel like a kid again "I can't live without you, not again. Fuck MIT, I wanted my best friend back."
Instead of answering, Peter shuddered "I'm so dumb"
"Yeah, you are."
They fell asleep like that, tangled limbs, clutching each other as if afraid the other would vanish.
"Good morning dweebs"
Ned jumped when MJ threw her keys on the table and they made a horrible clattering noise.
"What the fuck" He groaned "I feel like I got hit by a truck"
"It was probably all the crying" She laughed "Where's bug-boy, anyway?"
"Up here"
Ned couldn't contain the giggles at the sight of his best friend, bedhead and everything, stuck to the ceiling.
"How'd you get up there?"
"I'm kinda jumpy, okay? MJ scared me!" Peter protested, dropping lightly onto the bed. "What time is it?"
"Like ten-ish." MJ said "You want any breakfast?"
"Wow, I slept a lot" Peter checked his phone and cursed "I got a missed call. Do you mind if I…"
"Call 'em back. You can go in Ned's room if you want some privacy."
"Thanks" He disappeared behind the door just as MJ sat next to Ned
"So?" She asked "How did it go?"
"How did what go?"
"Spider-Man! Peter, whatever"
Her tone was lighthearted, but after so many years of knowing her, he could tell she desperately wanted to know.
"It was fine" He said "We cried a lot"
"I can see that. Your face's a mess." She laughed "How is he? When he saved me, he seemed kind of… sad."
"Sad's a good way to put it. I don't think he had it easy, even outside Spider-Man stuff" That was an understatement. Peter had mentioned that no one had said his name in years. He just wasn't sure if he should tell all that to MJ, or if it was an invasion of Peter's privacy.
The door to his bedroom opened, and Peter strode out, still talking on the phone.
"Look, man, I'm busy!" He snapped "No, I'm not fightin'! Yeah, I know! Knock it off, man!"
"Did his accent get worse?" Ned whispered to MJ
"Yeah, yeah, I'll see you Friday." He shut his phone with a little more force than strictly necessary. "Sorry 'bout that. Frank's been real annoying since he shot me."
"Frank, like, the guy whose boat I crashed in?" MJ asked "I thought you two were friendly."
Peter shrugged "He got me to a hospital right after."
Ned winced "Did he, like, do it on purpose or…"
"Nah, he was trying to shoot someone else, but I got in the way. It's a long story"
"And you couldn't pull this person away instead of getting shot yourself?"
Peter sat net to Ned with a small wince, leaning his head on his shoulder.
"Maybe. I didn't think about it, I guess." He closed his eyes with a contented sigh "But at least it got me free dinner twice a week for the forseeable future."
"Damn, Parker." MJ said "You got low standards."
"Yeah, well, it's not like I can afford to be picky with who I hang out with. The closest thing to a friend I had was the goddamned Police Chief."
"Gross" MJ scrunched her nose
"I know!" Peter didn't protest as Ned put an arm around his shoulders, pulling him closer. "I should probably go home"
"No!" Ned was gripped by a sudden panic so strong it surprised even him "Stay"
"I have to go eventually" He sounded as unhappy with that fact as Ned did, but trying to hide it "I can't stay in your apartment building Legos forever"
"But you'll come back?"
Peter sighed "I don't know. None of the reasons I stayed away all this time changed because you remembered."
"And I already told you I don't care. Don't you fucking dare."
Peter sniffed, but seemed too tired to start crying again.
"I don't know how to be your friend anymore." Peter finally admitted "We changed too much"
"Did we? Hanging out with you as Spider-Man was pretty fun" He didn't mention how it was the most fun he'd had in years, how it felt like a piece of himself that had been missing was finally returned. He was sure Peter felt the same way, but he was just scared.
"Yeah, hanging out with Spider-Man always is" He sounded bitter. "But I'm not the same Peter you knew. I'm… broken. Wrong."
"What happened to you?" Ned asked quietly.
"It's been a very long four years" He said, hiding his face in Ned's shoulder for just a second before standing up "I… I'll be back. But I really do need to go, there's this lab I need to check on, and they switch guards at noon."
"How do we know you'll come back?" MJ asked "It's not like you never break your promises, and we don't have a way to find you if you ghost us"
Peter shrugged, opening the window "You could call me"
"We don't have your number" Ned pointed out
"Yeah, you do. I haven't changed it."
Ned let him go, begging to all the gods he didn't believe in that this wasn't the last time he saw his best friend.