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"You're very obvious, you know?"
"With what?"
They are walking side by side, their arms joyously swinging between them.
"With the way you look at me. You know what fans say?"
Seungcheol lifts up his gaze from their joined hands to Jeonghan's beautiful face, "That I'm deeply, irrevocably, pathetically in love with you?"
The look of teasing instantly vanishes from the other’s face, leaving behind a delicate softness in his eyes.
Seungcheol continues, "I've never tried to hide it", and watches a rosy hue take over Jeonghan's cheeks.
When this man gets shy, he gets squirmy. So, Seungcheol is ready for the tug he feels at the heel of his palm and is already tightening his hold.
He doesn't let Jeonghan let go of his hand.
Their monthly meeting ended half an hour back and now the two of them have, luckily, found a very quiet place to saunter about.
"Huh, says the one who ignored me for a whole week. I don't know where Jeonghan is", The younger imitates him in a dramatically sombre tone, "Even carats didn't believe you. You, the master of Jeonghanology doesn't know where I am?! Huh! You were the first one to watch my story....you know...after....some fans."
"That some doesn't sound like some". Seungcheol raises one of his eyebrows, "You looked for my username in the sea of people?"
"I was just bored and going through the list, it caught my eye", Jeonghan, without meeting his eyes, explains quickly. Way too quickly.
"Yeah, you were very bored that time and hence, very active on social media. You weren't posting like crazy for my attention...right? How ridiculous would that be?", It's now Seungcheol's turn to tease the other man.
"Very ridiculous! I'm not a teenager. And even if...", There it is, "...IF...I was, did it work? No. You didn't react in the slightest. Moreover, on the same live, you said you were thinking of quitting billiards, that the skill gap between you and me is too big. What was that about, huh?"
Actually, it was all about billiards. Not about. It wasn't the cause, but a collateral damage...?
"Won't you focus?"
Seungcheol's voice was sharp with annoyance but it didn't seem enough to get Jeonghan to put down his phone.
"Hyungwon hyung is making plans to meet."
"Okay, but you can text later. Focus on the game first."
Jeonghan finally looks up, "Seungcheol, the shooting is over".
Maybe it was better if he hadn't.
Seungcheol felt worse after hearing that answer, "I thought we play billiards because we like it, not just because it's another show we have committed ourselves to."
"Yeah but just give me a second."
"You have taken too many seconds. You've been on your phone for like half an hour."
"Mingyu was also-"
"You can text later."
"It's rude to see someone's message and not text them back."
"They don't have to know you've seen it-
"But I know."
"And this is somehow better than literally ignoring the person standing right in front of you?!"
"I'm not ignoring, I'm multi-tasking."
"No, you are not. At this point, you are not even playing half-heartedly."
"Maybe that way you can win", It wasn't the taunt that did it. Seungcheol knew that was playful.
It was the dedication with which Jeonghan was arguing, the determination with which he refused to see the point Seungcheol was trying to make.
The elder unceremoniously tossed his pool cue onto the table, "You were right. We have played enough for today”.
"Okay", The quick response irked him more. It felt as if Jeonghan was dying to be out of here. "What are we eating?"
"I'm on diet", Seungcheol replied curtly and left first.
"During the last billiard game only...", When he comes back to present-day Jeonghan, he finds him still rambling - a bit angrily, a lot adorably, "....I had specifically told you that ignoring someone's text is rude. Not only you ignored me, but you made sure I knew you were ignoring me. I texted you so many times, and you left me on read every single time. I also called you multiple times and you didn't answer once. What if I was in some kind of trouble? What if I needed you?", Jeonghan pouts by the end of it.
Okay, that was truly petty of Seungcheol and he isn't really proud of it but he can't go back in time and change it.
Honestly?
The traces of pettiness are still lingering.
"If you were in trouble or needed someone, you should've called your jagiya", That honey voice, that endearment which Jeonghan used for Hyungwon hyung in the second story he posted of the same hang out still turned Seungcheol's mood sour.
"It was just a joke. How many times do I need to tell you that?"
"Jeonghan, you got upset when I called someone hyung."
"You could've called that man sunbaenim!!"
"We are closer than that."
"I don't know when that happened. And okay, you could've said hyung like normal, firm. But you were like hyunggg. What was that...cute little whine?"
"I'm the younger child. It comes out naturally."
"It shouldn't!"
"Okay, but you are free to flirt with whoever, however you want."
"I wasn't flirting. Dokyeom also said it."
"Dokyeom is not my boyfriend and he wasn't the one who started it."
"Technically, Mingyu was the one who started it....", Jeonghan stops when the serious expression on Seungcheol's face doesn't budge and changes the course of his words, "I posted it for your attention. And what did I get? A heart attack. Your weverse post scared me."
When I have too many thoughts, I go for a run, Seungcheol had posted.
"So...if I hadn't posted that, would we still not be okay?"
"No. I was on my way to your place already."
Seungcheol smiles and lets some thoughts from that day drift into his mind again, "There are times...I still can't believe you are mine".
It is so frequent that he just had it during the live, when he also couldn't believe Jeonghan was back being by his side in Seventeen's official schedules.
"So, I get scared. I get scared....that someday, you'd get bored of me, of the things we do together, of my whining, sulking, complaining, crying. That one day, you'll wake up and realise that you want a better man. More handsome, more interesting. Less needy, less...broken..."
"Seungcheol", Jeonghan says his name softly and brings them to a halt. He angles Seungcheol's body so that they are standing face to face but the elder can't bring himself to meet the other's eyes, so he keeps staring at the t-shirt Jeonghan is wearing. It's not the same but it's very similar to the one Seungcheol himself is wearing. Another piece wasn't available so he had to buy a similar one. Because his beautiful, stubborn boyfriend again wanted them to match anyhow.
Jeonghan makes him look up.
"You know...the first time I fell in love with you was when I saw you. You looked like a typical high school crush. If it was 2026 back then, instead of saying I'm Yoon Jeonghan, I would've said I'm so gay."
The synchronised chuckles that leave their mouth fill the air.
"The second time I fell in love with you was when you said to me, do you think I'll let you fail? Till date, I think it's one of the most romantic and sincere thing anyone has ever said to anyone. The third time I fell in love with you was seeing you take responsibility of everyone. You were already so brave, so bold- you were everything I wished to be. I wanted to quit every single day, but you...you didn't just carry your dream, you carried all of ours. The fourth time I fell in love with you was when you defeated Jungkook in that wrestling match. You didn't care about the game, you only cared about the fact that we all were promised a nice meal if you win. The fifth time I fell in love with you was when I realised for the first time why you were suddenly wearing hair ties on your wrist. That you noticed even minor inconveniences that I faced, or any other member for that matter. The sixth time I fell in love with you was....when you went on that hiatus in 2019..."
Jeonghan turns misty-eyed as if the memory still pains him. It probably does.
"I had gone insane. That was actually the first time when I realised the actual depth of my feelings. I had this- I'm not even kidding- awakening that god I can't live without this man. The seventh time I fell in love with you was when you came back. Because you had suffered so much, yet you came back stronger and I was so proud of you. I still am. The eighth time I fell in love with you was when you started growing bigger. Damn, what an exquisite journey that has been", Seungcheol smacks Jeonghan's arm when he sees him licking his lips suggestively.
Jeonghan giggles and after a second, cups Seungcheol's cheeks ever so gently, looking at him with deep earnest eyes, "Cheol-ah, I'm sure I've fallen in love so many times in between and after. With your big baby cow eyes, with your dimpled smile. With your laugh....that's like my most favourite sound. With your whining, don't you dare whine for anybody else. With your complaining. Because you care so much for everything. Because you are so good, and so pure in the heart and so selfless. When you love, you love with everything in you”.
He caresses the skin under Seungcheol's tired eyes before whispering, "And I'm still falling....".
Then continues a little loudly, a little firmly as if he really needs Seungcheol to believe it, "...So when I tell you that...for me, there's no man who can ever compare to you, ever come close to Choi Seungcheol, I mean it. I mean it with everything I have, everything I believe in, everything I live for".