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It's been 33,436,800 seconds (12 months and 22 days if you're not insane like Keji ) since Ken and Paul first met. They met on a survival show, and for some reason, Paul acted like he already knew him, even though he didn't. He chooses not to question that. Ever since that day, Ken could confidently say that they've become best friends, except now he’s having a slight problem doing that because, well, it seems he's gained a raging crush on his best friend. "Life must be playing some cruel joke on me," he mutters, dropping his head onto his desk.
It's been approximately one week since he realized his feelings, and he's been losing his mind ever since—stuttering in front of him, avoiding eye contact and physical touch. God, he's become such a fool, and he's sure everyone has noticed by now, but they thankfully haven't said anything. He's thinking about what to do when his phone lights up: 'LUKE.' Sighing, he picks up the phone and presses answer, regretting this decision almost immediately as Luke starts yelling into his ear. He's pretty sure he'll go deaf one of these days. "YO KENJIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII," Luke shouts from the other end. "What's up, Luke?" Ken replies. "Nothin' much, just wanted to check up on you." "And why exactly would you want to do that?" Andrew questions. "I don't know, man. You've been acting a little off recently; just wanted to make sure you were okay." Ken grows silent; while touched by this gesture, he can't really tell him why he's acting this way, so he just responds, "Yeah, I'm fine, just been tired recently," which isn't entirely a lie as he has been tired of his brain and the constant thought of Paul. "Okay, cool. I'm glad," Luke says. "Alright, I'm gonna ha—" Ken starts before Samuel cuts him off, yelling "PAUL!" Andrew freezes. Why the fuck is he calling out for him? He's tempted to just hang up in his face when Paul speaks up, "Hi, kenken."
"H-hi, Paul." Fuck. Why in God’s name did he just stutter? "Yo, Paul, I asked Ken, and he said he’s doing fine," Luke says to Paul. "Oh, I'm glad, but why are you telling this?" Plaul responds nervously. "Well, you said you were super worried and wanted to ask if he was okay, but that you were way too nervous to ask him upfront." Silence. All three of them stayed silent for three whole minutes before Ken spoke up, "Th-thank you for being so worried about me; but, uhm, can I ask why you didn't just ask me upfront?" He stumbles over his words. "Shit," is all he hears before the call abruptly ends.
Paul has been in love with his best friend Kenji for about 10 months now. He realized he liked him in the most boring way possible: he stayed over at Paul's place after drinking to celebrate the release of his second solo, Flower in your hands. He found him sleeping on the couch, looking so peaceful and drooling just a little, and it just clicked—he wanted to see that face for the rest of his life.
Paul knows for a fact that Andrew is straight because on the night he came out to him as pansexual, he said, and he quotes, “Yo, I support you one hundred percent. I'm straight, though, so, uh, I can't really relate to how scared you must feel right about now, but thank you… for trusting me. I'll do whatever I can to make sure you know that I support you.” He cried for 10 minutes straight after that.
So yes! His best friend is straight, and he likes him, but for some reason, Paul thinks that Kenji found out about his crush because he's been avoiding his touch, his eyes, him in general, and always cutting their conversations short, like he'd rather be anywhere else in the world. And god, it hurts so bad. He understands Ken to a certain extent. I mean, he just found out his best friend has a crush on him—so like, what else can he do besides avoid him? Sick of keeping all these thoughts to himself, he decided to confide in Luke because he's stupid and complains about how worried he is because Ken seems to be avoiding him. Luke just nods along, letting out the occasional hum to let him know he's listening. After that, he makes Luke promise not to tell Kenji or anyone, for that matter, about this.
Of course, the idiot doesn't listen and calls Kenji to check on him, then tells Kem he was worried, then tells him that he was too scared to ask himself. He can tell Ken is weirded out because they sat in silence for a good three minutes before he speaks up and starts stuttering about why he didn't just ask him himself. And god, he feels so fucking embarrassed that he just hangs up the phone in a panic.
Ever since that day, the two had been avoiding each other like they'd die if they even so much as looked at the other: Paul, because he's embarrassed and is sure Ken hates him, and Ken, because he's too flushed and feels bad about being so awkward that Paul is too scared to even talk to him.
Avoiding each other is admittedly difficult, seeing that they’re in the same group, but they somehow manage to keep interactions down to a minimum. Now, because they're being so obviously weird, the members have noticed but haven't said anything yet— well not to kenpaul, that is.
“This is painful to watch,” Aston whispers to Luke, and Chokun. They nod in agreement. “Do you guys think the world is going to end soon,” Luke says. The two look at him like he's grown a second head. “What the fuck are you talking about?” Aston responds. “I mean, because those two are avoiding each other. They're usually attached at the hip,” he says like it's the most obvious thing on earth. “You know what? You make a good point,” Chokun replies, nodding along. Aston slaps them both on the back of the head. “Shut up, you fools.” They both nod, muttering apologies and about how much it hurt. “We really need to do something about this, though,” Aston says. “Why don't we just lock them in a room together?” Chokun suggests. The three instantly lock eyes. “Yes, oh my God!” Luke and Aston reply at the same time, like some sort of twins.
The three evil idiots conduct a plan to lock them in the practice room. Their plan is set in motion the second it hits 12 a.m. that night. The plan is simple: step 1: eat way too much food and get sick; step 2: tell their manager that they’re sick and need to sit out from practice today; step 3: secretly go to the practice room and lock them in there.
They've completed steps one and two, but step three unfortunately never gets accomplished because they feel so sick that they can't get up and decide to just give up. They can work it out themselves.
Ken thinks he has idiots for teammates because how the hell did all three of them get sick at the same time? Oh, he'll tell you he saw them eat at least 10 slices of pizza, 2 burgers, 3 cup noodles, a box of chicken, and a bowl of green curry each…
Fucking ridiculous, he sighs inwardly, but no matter how stupid they are, they had a purpose, which was making his job of avoiding Paul much much easier. Now that they're not here, he finds it much harder to do, but he still tries to ignore him as practice progresses.
Practice ended five minutes ago, but he's too tired to move, so he's been lying on the practice room floor… right next to Paul. And he's screaming internally because, damnit, has he always been this beautiful?
Looking at Paul next to him, he realizes how much he missed this—just sitting with Paul, looking at him, laughing with him. He just misses him. “Are you okay, Ken?!” Paul asks, alarmed, startling Kenji. “Yeah, I'm fine. Why?” “Jiji, you’re crying…” Oh. He reaches up to touch his face, and yep, he was in fact crying. “Oh,” he replies. “I didn't even notice,” he chuckles, wiping away his tears. “Why were you crying?” Paul asks, all puppy-eyed and worried, instantly melting Kenji's heart. “I was just thinking.” “About?” “You,” Ken says. “Oh.” They sit there just staring at each other, silence stretching for six minutes until Ken musters up the courage to continue. “I just... I missed you.” "What… What do you mean?” Paul questions. “I mean I just miss you—talking to you, touching you, laughing with you, doing everything with you. “Ke—” Paul starts, but Ken cuts him off. “I know I don't really have any right to be saying this to you, seeing that I've been ignoring you for God knows how long, and I'm so sorry about that.” “It's okay, Kenji, I already know why you ignored me,” Paul says in response.
“What are you talking about?” Ken blinks at him. “You... you already knew?” “Yeah, haha,” Paul replies, nervous to finally be confronting the situation. “Oh God, Paul, I'm so sorry. We're best friends, and I know I told you I was straight, and I thought I was, but God, you make me feel so special and so loved. I just couldn't help having feelings for you. I'm so sorry; please, I hope we can still be friends.”.
.
.
.
.
“What?” Paul blinks. “You—” “You like me?!” Paul exclaims. Ken looks at him like he's some sort of alien. “I-I thought you said you already knew...” The two stare at each other, dumbfounded, before bursting into uncontrollable laughter. “Wait, so what did you mean when you said you knew?” Ken gets out between chuckles. “I thought you knew I liked you and felt uncomfortable, and that's why you've been avoiding me,” Paul giggles in response.
Ken freezes. Causing Paul to also stop laughing, “Wait, you... you like me too??” “Yeah, I like you a lot, Kenji.” “How long?” Ken questions. “Since the day flower in your hands was released,” he chuckles, scratching the back of his head nervously. “What about you?” “Oh, you've liked me for way longer.” “I only realized my feelings last month.”
“Can I ask why you like me?” Ken asks. “Because...,” Paul starts, “you're so fucking beautiful, Jiji. Not just your appearance, but everything about you—your smile, your laugh, your voice, your love and dedication toward being an idol, the way you're always there for me when I need you most. I can talk to you about anything and everything. You make me feel so cared for and seen.” Paul smiles at him. Ken thinks he's about ten shades of red right about now. He's never heard anyone describe him like that, and he suddenly feels super lucky to have fallen for someone like Paul.
“I'm so glad it's you,” he decides to tell Paul. “What do you mean?” Paul questions. “That I've fallen for you. I'm so goddamn happy it's you.” Paul blushes. “I'm also glad that I fell for you.” They lock eyes, hearts beating increasingly fast, eyes moving down to look at the other's lips before moving back up. “Can...?” “Can I kiss you, Jiji?” Paul mumbles. “Yes,” Ken responds, voice hoarse.
Paul moves in closer, eyes darting back and forth between Ken's eyes and lips, their faces now only inches apart. “Are you sure I c—” Paul starts before another pair of lips land on his, cutting him off.
It feels as if time slowed down. The kiss was everything he imagined his first kiss with Paul would be like—soft and tender, just like him. His hand moves to Paul's waist, pulling him closer, pulling away just for a second to catch his breath before diving back in. Paul moves to loop his arms around Ken's neck, losing track of time as their lips and noses brushing together, moaning into each other's mouths.
They pull back for a breather before Paul goes back in hot, this time turning the soft kisses into something a little more heated, pushing his tongue into Ken's mouth. It catches him off guard at first, but he quickly adjusts. Paul moves to climb in Ken's lap, making sure not to break the kiss, and starts to slowly rock his hips in a circular motion.
They kiss for what feels like hours but was really just 15 minutes when something hard pokes Paul, and Ken abruptly pulls back, breathing heavily as he starts apologizing. Before Paul laughs and tells him it's alright; to be honest, he was also starting to get pretty hard himself—not that he was ever gonna tell Kenji that. They rest their foreheads on each other, smiling, before Paul speaks up. “So should we head home now?”
“Nah, let’s stay like this for a little while longer,” Ken says. “Okay, whatever you want, my Jiji,” he coos, pecking the side of his mouth before going to rest his head on his shoulder, and right then and there, his wish had finally come true.
He could now look at Ken's face for the rest of his life. Ken was his, and he was Ken's.