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"Oh dear."
Cody pauses. That was far too cheerful a sound to mean anything good. He turns slowly to face his General, who's closed his eyes, head tilted slightly to the side as he contemplates. Cody braces himself. Over the course of the war he's found that the happier the General appears, the deeper the banthakark they're in. He thrives off chaos.
"Be honest with me now, Commander," the General requests, voice light and full of mischief. His eyes open, revealing irises in a gorgeous shade of molten gold. "Just how badly does the yellow clash with my hair?"
Cody is yet to detect any change in his General's personality. He definitely doesn't seem to have suddenly turned into a bloodthirsty monologuing megalomaniac as Cody had been led to believe was standard.
"Terribly, Sir." He tells him, voice as dry as he can manage.
His General clicks his tongue against his teeth in amused annoyance.
"Drat."
Yep. No change. Not trying to slaughter them all.
"Well, I must say that's put quite the, well, kink into some of our plans." The General muses with his usual cheerful mischief.
"Sir." It's a good word, 'Sir'. Easy to keep absolutely flat so he doesn't have to decide between exasperated and amused.
His General grins impishly at him anyway.
And, because Cody can't let his General have all the fun, he adds
"I don't recall any of our plans depending heavily on your eye-hair coordination, Sir."
"My dear," his General objects, pressing a hand over his heart. "It's vital." Eyelashes flutter at him. "An absolutely essential part of seducing people to our side."
"As you say, Sir."
The General pouts at him. Because he's ridiculous.
Cody remains unmoved.
"Let's review our options then shall we, Commander." The General suggests, before humming in thought. "The first option is of course for you to kill me where I stand."
Nope.
"Sir," Cody starts, and this time he fills the word with all the absolute unimpressedness he can manage, "Do you remember when we first met and you told me that I would never get in trouble for refusing to follow any order you gave that I considered to be, and I quote, Sir, 'utter banthakark'?"
His General strokes his beard thoughtfully. Because the bastard is an unrepentant mirishebs.
"Yes," he concedes, "I did say that, didn't I. I take it you believe such an order would fall under that category?"
"Yessir."
"Hmm. Well then. I guess that leaves us with options two through five."
There's an expectant pause. A smile that's nothing but trouble and invitation.
"And what are options two through five, Sir?" Cody asks obediently, tucking his exasperated patience behind the thinnest veneer of professionalism he can manage.
"Well my dear," Golden eyes glitter at him, all happy mischief. No prettier than the blue-grey. No uglier either. "Option two is to join the Separatists." He takes one look at Cody's face and huffs a laugh, "No, I didn't think that was a particularly viable option. Option three is to desert and find ourselves a nice planet somewhere to settle down on, although I warn you now, I am absolutely terrible at any form of farming. And the Negotiator is perhaps a little large to hide successfully. Hmm. Option four is to cede from the GAR, yet still continue to fight the Separatists. And option five is to disguise what I am and continue on as we have been." He folds his hands neatly into his sleeves and looks at Cody expectantly, a little smile on his face.
The choice is obvious.
"If you had no preference, Sir, I would choose option four. It shouldn't put us into conflict with my brothers, and we won't be burdened by orders from the senate or intel of dubious origins."
His General tilts his head.
"How soon do you estimate you could get this war finished without their interference, my dear?"
Cody frowns as he calculates.
"About three tendays, Sir. One, if we can get our hands on a set of beskargam."
"And the Sith Master?"
"Fox knows who it is, Sir. Not a chance in hell he hasn't worked that out. Always needs to know everything. If he hasn't told us, there's a reason for it."
"Hmm. I do so adore the competence of you and your brothers, Cody." His General gives a sideways little smirk. "A highly attractive trait."
Cody carefully doesn't roll his eyes.
"If you could avoid mentioning the perceived attractiveness of my brothers within my earshot, Sir, I'd appreciate it."
"Jealous, my dear?"
Cody wrinkles his nose.
"No, Sir, it's just my opinion of someone's intelligence drops sharply if they freely admit out loud that they find them attractive. I'd prefer not to work under a General I consider stupid, Sir."
His General throws his head back with his laugh, and Cody tilts his head slightly in consideration as he watches.
"My dear?" His General prompts.
"My apologies Sir, I was remaining vigilant for any indication of maniacality."
"Oh no, Commander." His General says, radiating mischief. He's enjoying this. Of course he is. It's throwing spanners into literally everyone's plans. "Maniacal laughter is so uncouth. I'm sure it would give me wrinkles."
"And how many of our plans would that derail, Sir?"
Golden eyes trail extremely deliberately over Cody's body.
"Oh, only the important ones, Commander."
Cody raises an unimpressed eyebrow.
"I'm somewhat surprised, Sir, that you think any of my plans could be derailed by such an insignificant perceived setback."
Golden eyes soften, even as a quick, sharp, little grin flicks over his General's lips.
"My apologies, Commander. Your frankly astounding competence is of course without question."
Cody nods, appeased.
"Thank you, Sir."
"Now then," his General says, tucking his hands into his sleeves. "Let's head towards Mandalor. I believe there are still some remnants of Death Watch running around, who might be prevailed upon to kindly help us in our beskargam acquiring endeavours."
Excellent. Cody does enjoy a good bit of aggressive prevailing.
His General hums.
"Do you know," he continues thoughtfully, "I think I'll teach you how to use a lightsaber as well." His grin is full of ominous trouble, despite the lightness of his voice. "Just in case."
Cody tilts his head. Ruling Mandalor can't be anywhere near as difficult as running this whole damn army. And it would be nice to have his own laser sword. He can demonstrate to his General just how easy it is not to drop the thing in battle.
He dips his head.
"As you say, Sir."
His General smiles at him, pleased, then pauses, face twisting into horror.
"Oh no. I'll need new robes and I just cannot wear black. The colour washes me right out. Do you think I could get away with a very dark navy?"
That, Cody decides, is absolute banthapoodo. He refuses to believe there's anything his General wouldn't be able to look good in.
"Do you know what I think would look good on you, Sir?"
"Mm?"
"Beskar."
His General blinks at him.
"I rather walked into that one, didn't I."
"Yes Sir." Cody gives him his best 'I'm an extremely professional Commander just doing my job' nod. "I'll add two sets to our acquisition list."
"Commander," His General warns.
"Glad you approve, Sir." Cody makes a rapid tactical retreat. "I'll get on that immediately, Sir." He hears his General huff from behind him and hides a smirk.
The end of the war is suddenly looking much closer than it was yesterday.