Archive of Our Own

Wonyoung has always reminded herself to enjoy life, and she did. She got into her dream course and college, have great friends, and even someone who took an interest to her. But there is something that has been missing, something she couldn’t pinpoint.  

She knew that a lot of people would kill to have her life, so she’d always feel guilty whenever she remembers feeling uncontented. She’s not disappointed or sad about anything but there’s always a tight feeling in her chest.

And it tightens even more whenever the news comes up about a certain someone saving another day. She has never been a fan of the epic events that happen around the city but her heart would always react to the red-suited superhero who swings their way through the city’s buildings.

Was it excitement, anxiety, fear, or longing that makes her heart pump even more for oxygen? Even the owner of the heart couldn’t answer her own question.

And today was another day of feeling that way.  

She was making her project proposal about building a multiverse-tracking system for alien tech-powered spacecrafts on a Saturday morning, listening to the daily news while Sunghoon, the guy who is courting her, was making two mugs of coffee for them. However, she stopped writing at one section of her paper, integration of Artificial Intelligence, when she heard the name of the hero who makes her feel things.

“Spider-An swoops in once more to be the hero of the day! With their usual web shooters, agile movements, and charming humor — they have saved another innocent life and gained another fan. The Department of Defense Control extends their gratitude to the mighty Spidey. Stay tuned for more news of the red hero!”

Do you ever get the feeling when you feel like you know someone but you’re still certain you don’t know them?

“Yeah, actually,” Sunghoon replied and Wonyoung was a bit startled by herself when she realized she voiced out her inner thought. He then continues, “In fact, I feel that way about Spider-An.”

“Really?”

“Mhmm. Whenever I look at him, it feels like I know something about him,” Sunghoon said as he placed the mugs on the table where Wonyoung was doing her paper and sat down beside her.

Wonyoung was about to continue writing until she thought of something with great certainty, “A girl.”

“Huh?”

“I think Spider-An is a girl,” she said in a very “matter-of-fact” tone in which Sunghoon chuckled at how adorable she sounded after being so serious.

“Why do you think that?”

“Well, for starters, I saw her up close when she saved me and Jiwon, and she moves like a woman. I’m not saying there’s anything wrong with how a guy moves but she has this certain grace that men cannot perform…somehow.”

“Okay, ouch. But, he has spider powers so it may come from that.”

“That may be true. However, there’s also certain characteristics to take in consideration like her physique, her voice, and even her mannerisms,” she paused for a short while after rambling and then continued, “And…I just have that feeling of certainty.”

“I think you may have persuaded me, miss smarty pants,” Sunghoon said as he looked towards Wonyoung while leaning his head on his fist, ending the debate between themselves that majority of the city still argues about too.

“And also, miss smarty pants, I think you should continue your proposal.”

“That’s right, I should get to it,” Wonyoung says as she clasps both her hands which made Sunghoon respond with a giggle.

Wonyoung was doing her work until Sunghoon reminded her, “By the way, are we still going through for the party tomorrow night?”

“Hmm, I’m sorry but I’m afraid not. I don’t think I’ll be able to finish this in time. Maybe we could do it another day?”

“I’ll help you!”

Wonyoung was suddenly startled by his excitement. She found his eagerness funny but also nostalgic. Sunghoon has always offered help for Wonyoung but she never felt nostalgia like this. She just shrugged it off by thinking how people may have helped her back in high school but all she could remember was Jiwon, the person she’s sharing an apartment with who also goes to MIT, and her getting through high school together and only together.

“How can a psych major like you help me?”

“With the machine’s…emotions?”

“Heh, just go back to sleep,” Wonyoung replied mockingly as she squints her eyes to Sunghoon.

“Sorry babe,” Sunghoon said while he raises his arms in defeat.

“Didn’t we agree not to use call signs when we aren’t together yet?”

“Right. Sorry, Won…minor slip-up.”

Wonyoung just nodded at his response, “I’ll finish my paper before tomorrow’s party if you don’t bother me so…shoo,” she said while she signaled to shoo him as a joke.

“Okay…I’ll come here early tomorrow,” Sunghoon beamed with smiles that hid his eyes.

Wonyoung thought Sunghoon is a nice guy, and he really is (that’s why she agreed for him to court her). But she never felt all tingly and in love no matter what he does. People envy her to have Sunghoon like her and they would’ve swoon over him in these kinds of moments, but she just doesn’t feel anything. She just let him do his thing to not hurt his feelings. She knows it’s bad but at least she’s giving him a chance…right?  

—

Sunghoon did come early. He helped Wonyoung and Jiwon tidy up their place for the party later. He also bought the alcohol to be consumed tonight by soon-to-be drunk MIT students. Wonyoung and Jiwon acknowledged how he prepared the place very well and thanked him for his help. Sunghoon blushed and Jiwon merely thought that it was because of Wonyoung’s rare praise towards him.

A few hours later, students from different MIT departments, but mainly the three’s departments, are starting to enter. The place is getting louder by the drunk students and the loud music that blasted through the walls of the apartment.

“Imma just go get something real quick in Central.”

“Jiwon, don’t you think it’s too late to use the subway,” Wonyoung argued with a worry face.

“I’ll be fine, I swear,” Jiwon says as she already looks back to exit their apartment, making Wonyoung shake her head in defeat.

When Jiwon left, the party has reached its peak. Wonyoung doesn’t really enjoy parties but she tolerates it for Sunghoon. She may not want to admit it but she’s also starting to like these “college activities.”

She was downing the red beer cup filled with a mix of punch and another type of alcohol besides beer until someone grabbed her waist.

“Yep, she’s my girlfriend,” Sunghoon exclaimed with a shit-eating grin.

Wonyoung noticed he was already drunk and felt awkward by his false introduction to some of his fellow students in his department. She immediately corrected him while swatting his hand of her waist, “No, we aren’t. You can call me his special friend…I guess.”

“Alright, miss special friend,” his friend laughs at Sunghoon’s now pouting expression as he emphasizes special friend.

After bidding goodbye to the sulking Sunghoon and his departments’ college students, she went to the balcony of their apartment. Somehow, she needed some fresh air, especially from an overwhelming party like this.

Looking down from the balcony, she saw Jiwon entering the ground floor’s door. She was about to go back inside but noticed someone following Jiwon. She just shrugged it off in the end, thinking it was another of MIT students that she still hasn’t been acquainted to. After finishing her drink with one big gulp, she decided to enter back inside the apartment filled with drunk students and the musky smell of alcohol.

It was a bit of a challenge to get through the pool of sweaty students but alas, she successfully went through them and arrived at Jiwon’s doorstep. She was about to enter Jiwon’s room and ask her what she was doing in Central but stopped when she heard another person chatting with Jiwon.

The voice was familiar, she thought with full guarantee, but she can’t pinpoint where she might have heard that voice. Without delaying her curiosity, she just decided to go inside Jiwon’s room.

She was met by Jiwon holding her phone, showing the Spider-An tracker she built, and the back of the stranger who was slowly turning to Wonyoung. She felt like she was invading something but it was too late since they both have already stopped their conversation to pay attention to her.

“Oh, hey. I was just showing…”

“Um…Hyunseo.”

“Yeah…I was showing Hyunseo the Spider-An tracker,” Jiwon says in a very smug expression.

However, she was too preoccupied with “Hyunseo” in front of her. Hyunseo who was slightly shorter than her because of the heels she was wearing, Hyunseo who was wearing a more casual look than most of the MIT students who situated themselves fast in the party, Hyunseo who looked naturally good in the dim lighting where Wonyoung could barely see her, and Hyunseo whose voice and even her entire person seemed oddly familiar.

She was wondering why it felt like she was at a loss of words right now, the same way Hyunseo seems like she’s trying so hard to form words at the same time. She was about to say something until Hyunseo beat her to it.

“Hi, I’m…Hyunseo.”

“I heard.”

“I’m, just your…neighbor here.”

“Friendly neighbor,” Wonyoung shrugged which made Hyunseo choke in the beer cup he was just drinking.

“I suppose. Hmm, I have to…get going. It was nice talking to you Jiwon,” Hyunseo says as he patted Jiwon’s shoulder which earned him a nod in reply, “Wonyoung,” she continued as she looked her way.  

She also bid him farewell.

Wait a minute.

She didn’t remember introducing herself to Hyunseo. So why did she know her name? In the end, she put that thought in the back of her mind since she couldn’t ask the already-exiting girl.

Due to her disappointment, she decided to go back to the kitchen area to fill her red cup with the remixed punch she’s been drinking down the whole night. As she was putting the liquor in her cup, she felt someone beside her.

“I’m sorry about earlier.”

When Wonyoung looked to her left, she saw Sunghoon with a face full of regret. He seemed sober compared to their previous encounter and Wonyoung felt a little bad with how he looked too down, especially in the party he planned.

“Hey, hey…it’s really alright. I’m not as mad as you think I am,” she tried reassuring him and a pat to his shoulder maybe was too platonic, given they aren’t just friends. Although, it seemed like his whole mood was great now so Wonyoung could only giggle at his looking like a puppy.

“Oh, I knew it. You really don’t hate me at all. Maybe you even love me,” he said teasingly which made Wonyoung think there was still some alcohol left in his system. She could only slap the same shoulder she patted earlier with another laugh.

This reaction made Sunghoon have the courage to touch her cheek. He let his hand merely stay there, waiting for Wonyoung’s response to possibly reject his touch. But after seeing there wasn’t any, he slowly started to caress her cheek with the pad of his thumb.

Wonyoung, who usually didn’t like moments like this, let him be. After tonight, she saw how Sunghoon wanted to be better for her and she reveled in happiness with his effort. Therefore, she may have leaned more to his touch which made both of them smile altogether.

This rare joy of hers in a situation like this with Sunghoon was ultimately stopped when she felt piercing eyes onto them. When she looked to where she felt a gaze, she was greeted with the same back of the stranger she met earlier in Jiwon’s room.

She followed Hyunseo’s figure until she exited their apartment and somehow the sight of her gloomy state left her both in confusion, guilt, and sadness.  

—

It was more than a week after the party already and a certain someone still could not fail to leave her mind.

It’s not the kind where you think about someone all the time because you like them (although, Wonyoung does think she’s attractive even when she saw her in casual clothes), but it was more like when you’re deeply curious about them.

Unfortunately, it was to the point where it hindered her thinking processes in times of need. Like today, as she writes down her notes to review for her midterms tomorrow on Astrodynamics.

She tries pushing back her thoughts about her neighbor to continue studying until someone knocked on the glass of their apartment’s balcony, leading her to be startled. She was even more frightened when the person who was trying to enter was none other than the red hero, Spider-An, someone who occupied most of her mind before meeting her eye-catching neighbor.

“You have to come with me.”

“Spide- What the hell?”

“Please, we need to go. Your life is in danger.”

Wonyoung is now starting to be scared, her voice shaking, “My life? You may have gotten the wrong person.”

“I know no other Jang Wonyoung.”

“How did you-“

“We don’t have much time, you have to trust me,” the superhero says frantically as she hurriedly offers her hand to Wonyoung.

She was a bit hesitant. Everyone knows who Spider-An is and Wonyoung knows herself that there is something special about her. But, she still knows that they barely know each other and they are in fact strangers.

However, she knows that there is nothing to lose if she goes with the hero and if what she said was true, there’s a higher chance that she will die if she does not take her hand.

After seconds of contemplating, she decided to follow her and took her hand, “Okay.”

Spider-An wasted no minute and grabbed her hand to go through the many buildings of the city. Yet, what she didn’t know was that Wonyoung had lost consciousness and she was accompanied by another person taking control of Wonyoung’s mind.

When Wonyoung regained consciousness, she was already falling from a building. As she screamed, she looked back down to the near ground she was falling to and dramatically replayed her life thinking she was on death’s doorstep.

But Spider-An’s webs caught fast to her and dragged the both of them to the top of the building they were falling from earlier. When they hit their feet on the building’s surface, Wonyoung was shaking and taken aback from what occurred.

“What the fuck just happened?!”

“You just got-“

“Did you accidentally let go of me?!”

“No! It’s nothing like that. It’s kind of a long sto-“

“Did I let go of you,” Wonyoung asked with the same loud tone as she emphasized I.

“In a sense,” Spider-An exclaimed which made Wonyoung panic even more, so he continued as he gestured with his arms in hope to calm her down, “Okay. I’ll explain once you calm down.”

Wonyoung performed deep breaths to calm herself down and she felt reassured with how Spider-An accompanied her through every breath. Once the hero saw that she calmed down, she started explaining how she got from holding onto Spider-An up until her falling down from the very same building they are currently standing at.

She explained how this certain telepath got into her mind when they swinged near the radius she could control others’ minds and decided to get into Wonyoung’s.

“Yeah, I do understand. But why me of all people?”

Even hidden by the mask, Wonyoung could sense Spider-An knew the reason but she just wouldn’t tell her when she uttered, “I don’t know.”

She concluded to herself that this is something, or someone, that only them heroes could understand or she’s hiding something to protect her.

“But still, thank you. Not only for this time but all the times you saved me and my friend.”

“Uh…of course, no problem,” the red spider says as she rubs her nape with Wonyoung’s flattery.

After a few seconds, Wonyoung broke the silence, “If you don’t mind me asking, could you take me back to my place? I actually need to do something. Only if you think it’s safe…of course.”

“Right. You can hold onto me.”

Wonyoung nodded and held onto her shoulders. Due to her fear that wasn’t fully dissipated yet, she clung harder than earlier and hid her face in the hero’s neck.

When they arrived, another moment of silence engulfed them and Wonyoung broke it too like earlier, “Thanks for the ride? And for saving me…I guess.”

“Yeah, that’s what I do,” Spider-An responded which made them both giggle and then she continued, “I should go.”

“Of course.”

She quickly got out of her view and somehow left her and her heart with a heavy feeling where she couldn’t put a name to it.

—

“Hi.”

“Oh! Hi.”

Wonyoung found herself once again in the same situation a few days ago.

“Mind if I come in?”

“Sure,” she replied much awkwardly, “Am I in trouble again?”

“I’m afraid so.”

“Same girl?”

“Same girl.”

“Okay…So should I just…?”

“Yeah.”

Wonyoung automatically went closer to her and let her grab her by the waist. In no time, they were swinging by the city’s buildings in the same way they did days ago.

They arrived at an abandoned factory-looking place, although she’s not quite sure it is. Spider-An was currently arguing with a middle-aged man but Wonyoung immediately interrupted their childish fight and asked them to reason out like how adults like them should do.

In the end, the man, named “Youngseok,” let them stay for a few days as they try to solve the problem with the telepath that has been attempting to infiltrate the Department of Defense Control.

“Don’t touch anything,” he scolded Wonyoung when she was looking at family pictures, probably his, she thought.

“Sorry,” she replied shyly, “Can I go to the room now? I’m feeling a bit tired,” she continued with a yawn, which earned a nod from both of the two other people with her.

She immediately slept once her body hit the bed. However, she woke up hours after when she heard tinkering sounds below her.

She softly asked, “Spider-An, is that you?”

“Oh, yeah. Sorry, did I wake you?”

“It’s fine. What are you doing anyways?”

“Oh, this? I’m rebuilding my inhibitor.”

“To suppress your arachnid DNA?”

“Exactly. But unfortunately, it never works. I use it after a few seconds then it overheats.”

“Can I take a look,” Wonyoung asked.

She went down to where Spider-An was without waiting for a reply. When she got to the back of her seat, she could see the display of her human and arachnid DNA levels on the computer. She also saw other screens having information such as her AI assist system and the program for her power-suppressing inhibitor chip.

“If you want, I can help you. Before proceeding with Aerospace Engineering, I was actually preparing to major in Biology or Chemistry Engineering,” she says still with an amazed face by the hero’s equipment.

“Go ahead, I appreciate it,” Spider-An says as she does her usual embarrassed nape-rubbing thing.

Upon closer inspection, Wonyoung confirmed, “You’re using Gamma radiation, right? This doesn’t balance well with your arachnid DNA level that rapidly overcomes your human DNA, causing the inevitable override for the chip. So, if you could just- Can I?”

Spider-An took a moment to reply to her from how amazed she was by Wonyoung’s conclusion and settled with an utter, “Sure,” and she made way for Wonyoung to change her coding. Wonyoung wasn’t really sure why Spider-An trusts her this much but she feels grateful by it.

After finishing her revisions, she looked at Spider-An and said, “You should try it.”

She grabbed the chip from Wonyoung and placed it on her nape. They waited for almost a minute and they both jumped and cheered when it was successful.

“You’re a genius!”

“Thanks,” Wonyoung blushed by her flattery.

“You should sleep, it’s getting late. I’m sorry for putting you up.”

“It’s fine. I enjoy mechanical stuff. Jiwon, my best friend, and I have this as our hobby.”

“Right…”

“Yeah, I should probably go up now. Good night, Spider-An,” she bid farewell as she held her left elbow and thinned her lips.  

“Yes, good night…Wonyoung.”

Wonyoung went back up to her bed to sleep and she felt happy, and she didn’t even know why. She just hopes tomorrow would treat her the same way with her newfound joy and relief.

—

She was having her breakfast with Youngseok until Spider-An went out in a hurry.

“I got a lead, I gotta go.”

“I should go with you,” Youngseok went up to her.

She whispered, “No. Please, stay with her. I don’t want her to get ahold of her again.”

Youngseok looked a little hesitant but he nodded in the end.

Spider-An looked at Wonyoung and told her, “I’ll be back.”

Wonyoung nodded at her and said before she went, “Be safe.”

She couldn’t see Spider-An’s face but she was certain she smiled. She went back to her cereal when the hero departed. Although, she stopped again when Youngseok suddenly stood up.

“Are you also going somewhere?”

“Yes, I’ll go after them,” Youngseok says as he gets his gear.

“But didn’t they say not to go with them?”

“They only told me that to look after you, do you need me to protect you?”

“I don’t think the threat’s on me as long as Spider-An isn’t near. It hurts to admit but I think that’s the truth.”

“Exactly…Take care here.”

“You too.”

Wonyoung picked up her spoon but she stopped herself once again to ask Youngseok, “Hey, Youngseok?”

“Yeah?”

“Do you know why she cares for me so much?”

“Oh, so you know she’s a girl.”

“It’s pretty obvious…So why does she care for me?”

“Maybe, you’re someone special to her. That’s why that telepath wanted to hurt you…to hurt her. And…believe me, I know what it feels like.”

Wonyoung never thought about it like that. But, why would she be someone special to Spider-An when they only met weeks ago?

She was too preoccupied by her thoughts that she only noticed Youngseok left when he wasn’t in the room with her anymore. She could only go back to her cereal with a head full of questions.

After she finished, she decided to find out what Spider-An’s connection is with her.

She stepped back into their room and went to the hero’s digital area. She knows it is wrong to swoop in her stuff but her curiosity isn’t letting her rest in peace.

She first looked through the computers. But all she could find was information about her suit and the inhibitor chip. She thought of asking her AI assist system about the questions in her mind but she didn’t want to invade a discovery of her identity (but she also thought of the possibility that the system is locked to only answer Spider-An’s queries).

She was about to give up until she found a coffee cup sitting on top the same table, a coffee cup that was branded from the café she used to work part-time for. She grabbed it and turned it around, seeing the label ‘Jang Wonyoung’s Letter <3’ handwritten onto it. She took off the lid and found a letter filled with the same handwriting she just saw on the coffee cup’s exterior.

It read,

‘Hi, this is An Yujin. I’m writing this letter because by now, you don’t remember me anymore. You may have a hard time believing this letter but you could tell when I tell the truth or when I tell a lie and the truth is, we know each other…more like used to. But more than that, we were together.

You might be wondering why you forgot about me but long story short, a fellow hero of mine had to wipe off the memories of the people who knew me, people I love and who love me, because the only way to save the world was for everyone who knew An Yujin to forget An Yujin.

And why is that? Because I’m not just An Yujin. I’m Spider-An.

And it hurts that Spider-An has to break An Yujin’s heart, like how she must wipe off the memories of the person she loves the most, the person who may be reading this letter. Or maybe not. Maybe I won’t give this to you because it was meant for us to never know each other. For you to be safe from me.

But if you do read this, please know that I love you. And maybe deep down, your heart still remembers that it once loved me too.’

It had to take Wonyoung to read it three times, no probably more than that, to understand what she meant. And another five times to start questioning whether this was true or not. She had so many questions to ask.

Was this why Spider-An knew who she was? Was this why that telepath threatened Spider-An that she’d put her in danger? Was this why she, or more like her heart, would always be excited when she would see Spider-An? Was this why some part of her could not let Sunghoon fully enter her heart and life?

And more importantly, was this the part of her that always felt missing?

Before she knew it, tears were already dropping onto the letter. No matter how she wanted to stop them from falling, she couldn’t. Not after she just found the missing part of her.    

—

The whole encounter with the Department of Defense Control and the telepath felt like a burden to Yujin. The only reason for it was how her mind was fully occupied with the girl she’s currently coming home to.

Never mind, that thought was worded too intimate in her head, an emotion she shouldn’t be gravitating towards since they aren’t like before anymore.

In contrast, the thought of seeing Wonyoung’s face after a battle she survived makes her feel the happiest she’s ever been since the whole “everyone forgetting An Yujin” thing; and her wounds from earlier felt numbed by her joy.

However, that feeling was immediately dissipated by what she saw when she arrived.

She was greeted by the sight of Wonyoung with tear stains on her face mixed with multiple emotions she didn’t know she could handle all at once. That view doesn’t worry her as much as when she saw what Wonyoung was holding.

Wonyoung was gripping the coffee cup containing Yujin’s letter addressed to her too aggressively than Yujin would like. But among all the emotions that was shown on Wonyoung’s face, betrayal surfaced the most.

“How did you-“

“Why couldn’t you tell me?”

“That’s not how the spell is supposed to-“

“Stop being philosophical to me,” Wonyoung didn’t raise her voice but Yujin knew she was mad.

“I wanted to tell you,” Yujin’s voice shrank.

“Then, why didn’t you,” Wonyoung asked as another tear dropped on her cheek, “You didn’t trust me enough?”

Yujin’s heart shattered into smaller pieces than the already-shaped pieces they were after Dr. Strange’s spell. She wanted to explain everything to Wonyoung but her voice got stuck in her throat. And before she could stop it, a tear that mirrors Wonyoung’s fell, yet was trapped behind her mask.

“If you can’t explain to me why you didn’t even try to make me remember, can you at least show me who you are?”

Yujin hesitantly put her arm in front of the mask’s eyes for a few seconds and pulled it from her head. She looked deeply into Wonyoung’s eyes which were now very much widened.

“Hyunseo?”

“Actually, it’s-“

“An Yujin, you told me.”

“I did?”

“Your letter.

“Oh…right.”

An awkward silence was placed in front of them before Wonyoung continued to speak, “I can’t believe you would follow where Jiwon and I were.”

“I didn’t have a choice, it was the only way I’d see you both.”

“You could’ve said hi.”

“I did…the first month I tried…but you didn’t-“

“Don’t.”

“Huh?”

“I still don’t remember you,” Wonyoung emphasized the don’t. 

“Oh.”

“And because I don’t remember you, I don’t love you also. I don’t feel the way you feel for me because we’re strangers. I just wanted to tell you…to not bring your hopes back for nothing.”

…

“Of course.”

…

“Can you take me back? Jiwon could be wondering where I’ve been for the past days.”

“Right…”

This extended awkwardness didn’t do any of them good. This conversation made Yujin feel hurt and hopeless while Wonyoung felt guilty and disappointed in herself.

She wanted to remember her because it sounded like they loved each other so deeply; a love Wonyoung was subconsciously searching for. But she couldn’t, no matter how much she wanted to.     

—

“Thank you for dropping me off…again.”

“You don’t really have to say thank you, you know?”

“Well, you saved my life…countless times.”

“But, that’s my job.”

“WHAT THE FUCK?!”

They were both startled by the sudden scream of someone familiar and as they turned to where the screeching sound came from, they saw Jiwon looking like she was about to faint.

And…she did.

Thankfully, Yujin was fast enough to catch her when she fell. Yujin saw she didn’t practically faint, her eyes were still wide as she looked into her mask, but maybe her knees felt weak after seeing her “hero.”

“Spider-An? What are you doing with my friend?”

“Oh, I was just-“

“Wait…SPIDER-AN?!”

“Yes, Jiwon, it’s me.”

“How do you know my name?!”

“Stop shouting, I told her,” Wonyoung said as she plugged her ears with her fingers and Yujin looked at her to signal her gratitude for it.

“I mean, how could I not,” Jiwon whispered as a reply.

Yujin could only laugh at the scene before her, a very familiar one.

“Could you deal with her? I have to get something real quick.”

“Um…sure.”

It was only Yujin and Jiwon in the living room for now. They were faced with a more awkward atmosphere than if it was with Yujin and Wonyoung.

However, Jiwon realized the tense air around them and proceeded to start a conversation, “Um…do you want to check my new LEGO set?”

“Uh…Sure, I don’t mind.”

“Cool!”

Yujin sat down on the floor of the living room, front of the couch’s table, as she watched Jiwon sprint to her room to get her LEGO set. This sight inevitably put a smile to her face. A few seconds later, Jiwon plopped beside her as she put the un-assembled Lego pieces on the table, along with the finished ones and the manual.

“This is the newest addition to the Star Wars collection.”

“The Imperial Remnant AT-AT with INT-4?”

“Woah…you like LEGO and Star Wars too?!”

“Star Wars is a classic! Lego, on the other hand, was something I did with my best friend back in high school.”

“That’s crazy, me too! I also had this friend in high school I built my LEGO sets with, including the 10188 version of the Death Star.”

“What happened to them,” Yujin asked even if is she knew the answer.  

“I honestly don’t really know. Kind of forgot…even if I barely had any friends back then.”

Yujin didn’t like how Jiwon looked sad and calm like how she looks now, especially when she played a part in this. She understands it very well because Jiwon was her only friend, before she met Wonyoung in the later parts of high school.

“Sorry to make this whole thing sad and gloomy. I barely knew them so…,” Jiwon attempted to reassure Yujin and Yujin could only nod to what she’s saying.

“It’s fine…we should continue building this new set of yours.”

Jiwon smiled at her and Yujin missed this feeling. Minutes into building the set, Wonyoung sat on the couch in front of them with a smile on her face.

“Really, Jiwon? You meet your hero and you build LEGOs with them?”

“Shut up.”

“It’s really fine. I like building LEGOs…used to, I mean,” Yujin corrected and Wonyoung felt a pang to her chest.

Finding out about what really happened leaves Wonyoung to have a new perspective, analyzing things differently in return. And now, she feels bittersweet seeing this image that was possibly how the three of them spent their high school years together.

She somehow had the sense to draw this scene and etch this in her memory, hoping another spell won’t take this away from her. But instead of drawing Yujin in her Spider-An suit, she sketched her as An Yujin. And the whole time today, all three of them have the same smiles plastered on their faces as their high school selves had.  

—

“I still can’t believe we got to meet Spider-An and became friends with her,” Jiwon exclaimed excitingly which makes Wonyoung laugh at her friend’s behavior.

It’s already been more than a week since Yujin visited them and Jiwon is still this excited about their encounter. Yujin promised she would come back to visit and maybe build another LEGO set together, but they both understood why she hasn’t been able to…superheroes and their shit to save the world.

But whenever Wonyoung looks at Jiwon and how happy she was with Spider-An, she always felt guilty for having to be the only one who knows what really happened. Over the week, she’s been trying to tell or even at least hint to Jiwon but she decided that Yujin might want to be the one tell her.

However, she had this urge to speak up about it, “Jiwon?”

“Yeah?”

“I have to tell you something.”

“What is it,” Jiwon asks with expecting eyes onto Wonyoung.

“Spider-An’s actually-“

Then a force field halted all the movements around them, making Wonyoung suddenly swallow back her words. She thought it was the spell that stopped her but looking at Jiwon, she realized she wasn’t the only one petrified.

Not even a second later, she felt her head wanting to burst from this unknown force that held them captive as there was also a sudden rush going through her mind. Multiple memories flooded through her mind, specifically ones with Yujin.  

She felt both conscious and unconscious with what’s going on but somehow, she wanted to focus on the memories of Yujin playing in her mind. She saw them spending each other’s prom together, their first date, their first kiss, the times they reassured one another that they will always be there for one another, and Yujin’s promise for her to find Wonyoung and tell her immediately after Dr. Strange’s mind-forgetting spell.

A tear could only fall on her cheek. Not the same kind of tear when she confronted Yujin about the situation, but a tear that conveyed relief, guilt, and the love she now believes. Relief because she finally remembers, guilt because she remembered turning her down before giving her a chance, and love because…she loves her.

She was still processing her emotions until the force field that controlled New York City’s minds vanished. Apparently, this telepath’s spell was stronger than the doctor’s spell. However, she thought of an idea that made her laugh in idiocy, maybe love was stronger than both of them.  

In truth, she was having dreams every night ever since she found out about Yujin’s letter, and those dreams mirror the memories she was flooded with earlier.

“Wonyoung, are you okay?”

She forgot Jiwon was with her and chuckled again while she wiped the tears that kept falling.

“I’m fine.”

“You sure? Fuc- my head hurts.”

“Wait, so you remember?”

“Remember what?”

Now, Wonyoung is confused. She, for sure, recovered her memories about Yujin but Jiwon in front of her didn’t.

“Are you talking about the memories of this girl named An Yujin,” Jiwon asked as she traced back to what happened, making Wonyoung expectant for what she’ll say next, “She felt real…but maybe- look I have this theory okay. This girl that ran through my head, or maybe yours too, is someone from another universe.”

Wonyoung facepalmed herself in her mind. She may have remembered her because she knew about the situation beforehand but all that happened were memories resurfacing of An Yujin in everyone’s minds, not particularly meaning that everyone remembered her.

“Well, your theory is wrong.”

“And, why do you say that?”

“You should meet her.”

“Huh?”

Jiwon looked at her friend like she was crazy as she motioned to zip her own mouth.

“I should go.”

“You’re leaving me confused here even more?”

“I have to…I have to go and tell Sunghoon something.”

“All of a sudden?”

Wonyoung only nodded before going to her room to get her wallet. She hurriedly stepped outside the apartment to find a taxi to get to Sunghoon’s place. However, it seems the streets were filled by the aftershock of the telepath’s mind control, leaving a halt to the vehicles’ movements, so Wonyoung just ran to his place.      

Thankfully his place was just five blocks away from their apartment and she was wearing her sneakers this time.

By the time she arrived, she was knocking on his door. Frantically at first before she realized she seemed like a maniac by all the stares some people gave.

When Sunghoon opened the door, he immediately exclaimed, “Woah, woah, what happened?”

“I have to tell you something,” Wonyoung said as she was catching her breath.

“That urgent you came running to me?”

Wonyoung hesitated for a short while before responding, “Kind of?”

“Okay…but I hope it’s not that urgent that you wouldn’t accept a cup of coffee first. We should head inside.”

Wonyoung nodded as a reply and went inside. She always thought Sunghoon’s place was cozy and it was to her liking, no matter how rare she went here. Something about being too awkward to visit someone’s place who isn’t just a friend but also not a boyfriend.

“You should sit down first, I’ll make coffee real quick.”

Wonyoung nodded once more and plopped herself down onto one of Sunghoon’s softest couches. While waiting for Sunghoon to finish, she was attempting to prepare what she would say to him.

But saying I just realized I shouldn’t try being with you when I technically didn’t break up with someone or I never fully loved you because my heart wanted me to remember someone first didn’t feel right, especially when she didn’t want to jeopardize Yujin’s persona of being Spider-An.

However, she had to cut her preparations short when she saw Sunghoon coming over and bringing two cups of coffee with him.

“So…what’s the urgent matter?”

“I really appreciate everything, I really do.”

Sunghoon was slightly confused and Wonyoung thought she shouldn’t have started the conversation like this, but it was too late to take it back.

“What happened?”

“I can’t really tell you everything.”

“Go on, tell me the things you could only tell me.”

Wonyoung took a deep breath before proceeding, “I don’t want to bring your hopes up because… I don’t think I can let you continue in courting me.”

“An Yujin, right?”

“How did you-“

“I’m part of where the force field hit. My memories about An Yujin came back.”

“Oh.”

“I was waiting for you to remember me before you were gonna accept or reject my offer.”

“Huh?”

“We went to the same high school and that whole time, I liked you. I remembered someone being the reason why I couldn’t ask you to be my girlfriend but after earlier, I remembered it was An Yujin. That’s why I had the courage to ask you out in college because that someone, who is Yujin, wasn’t with you anymore.”   

That makes everything for Wonyoung easier to explain since Sunghoon knew a part of it. But, she felt guilty that he knew all the time that Wonyoung, who was single, still had a heart that was unavailable.

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be. It makes me think you are an even more admirable person with the fact you rushed here to explain and immediately stopped whatever we had to be honest to yourself while being kind enough to give me the truth.”

“Then…I should go,” Wonyoung said as she stood up and continued, “I do mean it, I appreciate everything. You deserve someone better than me.”

Sunghoon could only chuckle at this bittersweet feeling he had in his chest.

Wonyoung stopped at his doorstep to add something, “Oh, and…your coffee was always great. You should start a café.”

Wonyoung now waved goodbye to the now laughing Sunghoon.

She didn’t run to their apartment like how she ran to Sunghoon’s place because she wanted the walk back to be slow enough to think of all her emotions and contemplate all her actions. In her chest the whole time, it was only relief and guilt.

—

“Are you going somewhere,” Wonyoung asks Jiwon when she was heading to the door.

“Yeah, just a nearby café. I’m planning to study for you know…finals.”

“Oh, okay…,” Wonyoung was hesitating to say something but she still asks, “Are you in a hurry?”

“Not really, why?”

“I just wanted to ask you something, but it’s not that important…Never mind, you should go now,” Wonyoung says through thin lips.

“No, it’s definitely important. You don’t have to be so awkward around me, you know I won’t judge you.”

“Okay…,” Wonyoung still says hesitantly even after Jiwon’s reassuring words. After minutes of contemplating, she finally asks, “After rejecting someone, do you think they’d move on?”

“Is this about Sunghoon?”

“No.”

“Then who-“

“Could you just answer without firing questions back at me?”

“Sorry,” Jiwon says as she raises her arms in defeat, “But my answer would be yes. Unless they’re deeply in love with you.”

“So then…how would you know if someone is deeply in love with you?”

“I think you’re asking the wrong person.”

“I know you still have an answer.”

“Okay fine…I honestly wouldn’t know. Love is an abstract idea but there’s many signs to see if someone loves you that much.”

“Like?”

“I don’t know. Figure it out yourself, lovergirl,” Jiwon says through a chuckle and went outside the apartment, leaving Wonyoung hanging. She could only shake her head with how her friend left her in that state.

Wonyoung retreats to her room and lie in her bed with just the thoughts of Yujin and all the escapades they did together, even with Jiwon, over the years. Her face felt flushed by the imagination of coming back to Yujin but guilt quickly replaced it after knowing there was a slim chance.

She didn’t realize how many hours passed until she heard the door click, which made her grab her phone and check the time. It was already evening by then.

She was about to lie back until she heard a familiar voice.

“It does feel home-y.”

“Oh, shut up. You’ve already been here, Spidey.”

“Hahaha, you got me.”

It was…Yujin.

Wonyoung didn’t know if she was dreaming or if this was reality but she still stood up in front of her door, doubting if she should interrupt the best friends’ bonding with her disappointing presence.

Alas, Yujin’s voice made her weak and impulsive; so, she did open the door.

She was faced by the actual An Yujin in the flesh, wearing a graphic tee under the usual leather jacket she wore and denim jeans, and she felt emotional seeing her in different circumstances. She wanted to cry and embrace her tightly, but not with Jiwon around and especially not when they haven’t talked yet.

“Hi.”

“Hi,” Yujin replied with the softest smile Wonyoung didn’t know she’d still offer her, making her heart skip a beat.

“I should probably go to my room for a bit,” Jiwon said after noticing the new atmosphere that surrounds their apartment.

Wonyoung was happy Jiwon gave them the chance to talk alone but also wished she didn’t leave because of the awkward silence that got in between them.

“Um…do you want to talk?”

“Sure…the balcony seems like a good place.”

“It is,” Yujin said without faltering her dimpled smile.

Wonyoung arrived first, feeling the cold air greet her. She was suddenly wearing the leather jacket that Yujin put around her and she could only muster a shy thank you to her, making Yujin’s dimples deeper and eyes disappear.  

“So…how’s everything?”

“Pretty good,” Wonyoung pulled Yujin’s jacket at her sides closer and continued, “Seems like you told Jiwon.”

“I didn’t. She figured it out on her own, well together because we did our handshake earlier.”

“That’s cute.”

…

“Look…I’m sorry.”

“Hm?”

“I hurt you and I shouldn’t have.”

“It wasn’t on purpose. It’s true and it’s fine,” Yujin shrugged it off with the dimpled smile that Wonyoung still feels weak for.

“But…what if it isn’t true anymore?”

Yujin looked into her eyes, wanting to expect something from her, but ultimately stopped herself and looked away. Then suddenly, Wonyoung cupped her cheeks and moved her head to look into her. Their faces, which were only inches apart, made both of their cheeks flushed from shyness.

And then, Wonyoung closed the distance and placed her lips onto Yujin’s. It was supposed to be a peck only, Wonyoung thought, but she felt entranced by how Yujin’s lips felt on hers; thus, she prolonged it. She could smell the slight woody scent on Yujin, contrasting her floral perfume.

She took her lips away from Yujin to put her forehead on Yujin’s and whispered, “I remembered.”

“You do,” Yujin asked in a whisper alike Wonyoung’s.

“I do…and I remember how I loved you. Wait no-“ Yujin became worried with Wonyoung’s correction until, “I love you.”

“You really do?”

And Wonyoung answered with another kiss to convey how she felt to Yujin. This time, it was intentionally more than a peck. While kissing, Wonyoung wiped Yujin’s tears that fell on her cheeks.

Yujin grabbed Wonyoung’s waist while Wonyoung moved her arms to circle around Yujin’s nape. They could feel each other’s cherry and strawberry-flavored lips and became addicted to the taste.

Yujin was the one to pull her face away from Wonyoung this time and whispered with new tears falling on her face, “I love you.”

“And I love you, my Spider-An,” Wonyoung teased and they both chuckled to her statement.

And under the city’s lights, it witnessed a rekindled love between two people who thought they would never experience a love like before. One who fought for the other to remember, and one who had kept her heart to remember by all odds.