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"You know what, I think I should just get it over with" Kate randomly said one morning as they were walking to English class. Kyle thought he had missed a part of their conversation or something. Footie practice in the morning always messed with his head.
He looked up at her a little confused, "what are you on about?"
"You know" She looked around her checking if someone was near "my first kiss."
"What do you mean get it over with?"
"Just like I don't know, find someone to kiss, any random bloke" Kate shrugged.
"You can't just grab someone and kiss them, plus it's your first, you said you wanted it to be someone special" Kyle felt slightly uneasy talking about it though he couldn't figure out why. He was in denial of being in denial about his feelings (whatever they might be) for Kate. Two minuses make a plus he supposed, he chose to ignore the fact that the sign remains minus.
"Sure I can, I could just go to a party, get pissed and find a lad to snog, I am sure there are many willing blokes. And I've given up on the special someone case, there are no perfect first kisses mine doesn't need to be any different." Kate turned as she opened the door to the class, he followed her in.
She greeted Ms Parker before taking their usual seats he did the same and sat beside her. "Of course I am not saying it has to be perfect, god knows mine was far from it. But we just have this picture in our mind about how it would look like, and you've told me about that, I want you to have something like that with someone nice. "
" 'Nice' is hardly my type, why are you so bothered by it anyway. Jealous Stanley?" Kate raised her eyebrows with that stupid smug look on her face.
"Huh please, I am just saying because you've told me why you've waited so long, doesn't make sense to just "get it over with". But do as you please, I'm just telling you what I think" Kyle didn't fight on this, he couldn't defend his arguments anymore without saying something stupid like suggesting himself for the kiss.
Moreover they were going to break up over the holidays (which were fast approaching) so he couldn't even use their fake dating excuse.
<3
It turns out Kate was quite firm on her decision. It was the last day of the term and naturally there was a party (McConals left town a little too often, not that anyone was complaining) and Kyle could see Kate standing at the far end of the living room talking to some guy, he wasn't from their school it appeared.
"Hey, hey hey McConal" Kyle stopped the boy while he was passing, cans of beer in his hands.
"Alright Stanley, Want a beer?" Kyle shook his head "What do you want me for then? Please tell me it's not another footie strategy, the school's out for the term man we need a break."
"Hence the party. It's not any strategy." Kyle rolled his eyes at that. "Do you know that guy?" Kyle pointed towards Kate who seemed cozied up with the guy. To anyone else it looked like harmless chatting, but Kyle could see the flirty undertones from over here or maybe his vision was just clouded. Either way, Kyle didn't like that sight at all. He could feel the ugly churn of jealousy swarming in his belly, he hated it.
"Oh, that's Aditya, my cousin. He's in uni. You know my aunt back in Mumbai, her son. Why'd you ask? "
"I've never seen him, so just got curious" Kyle said hoping it sounded as nonchalant as he thought it did.
"You jealous, Stanley?"
" What, no. Of course not. "
"Sure mate, whatever you say. Jealousy is an ugly emotion but no one's immune to it, just go talk to her, man. Communication is the key to healthy relationships"
"And when did you become love guru? Last I checked you were still crying over Jones"
"Fuck, she's here tonight. I need to go" Jake began making his through the crowd "Don't forget my sound advice," He threw back as he left.
He could go and talk with them. It was his girlfriend after all. So that's what he decided to do. He walked up to them "Kate" He saddled up beside her, his hand going around her waist pulling her closer. He made sure the other boy saw this. Kate might find this a bit weird but he can't be blamed, they are supposed to pretend and that's what was happening.
"Hey" he kissed her on the cheek as a way of greeting. He was making a habit of it, but it didn't seem like Kate minded. Her resulting rosy cheeks were both an indication of that and his incentive to do it again.
"Hi, this is Adi, he's Jake's cousin" She introduce him to the raven headed boy. "And this is Kyle, my uh. boyfriend" Everytime Kate regarded him as her boyfriend, the butterflies in his belly would awaken. A feeling Kyle wasn't quite ready to let go yet.
"Hey, nice to meet you" Kyle shook his hand. "What brings you here?"
"Oh, I am here for the holidays, I had plans to go home, but that got cancelled so here I am."
"That sucks man, being away from home on holidays is hard" Kyle empathized with him.
"Yeah I was looking forward to go home, but now that that's squashed." He looked a little upset.
"Aww c'mon, don't be like that, it's ok" Kate went to hug him, leaving Kyle's side.
He hugged her back, the embrace seem to settle him a bit. But Kyle could feel the same ugly emotion creeping up.
The thing is, he could see It. Aditya and Kate. They just looked like they fit. He was exactly Kate's type. Not to mention Ms Crezo would love Aditya.
Kyle couldn't watch them anymore. He practically ran from living room, making up some silly excuse. Kate looked at him a little confused, but before she could say something he left.
Why was he so affected by this? Kate wasn't his girlfriend. 'This is fake, this is all fake' he had to keep reminding himself of that. But his feelings weren't, they were very much real, and no matter how much he tried to ignore them, they weren't going away.
He needed a smoke. He went out in the garden, some fresh air seemed like a good idea. He saw Lucy there with a fag in her hands. He went up to her.
"Hey Luce, got any for me?" Lucy looked at him, eyes red, smiling and swaying a little. Maybe she had more than just some fags. She pulled one out of the packet and handed it to him.
"Here you go" Kyle took a long drag, held it in and exhaled. God he needed this.
"I have a few joints too, if you fancy one?" Kyle shook his head. He wasn't in the mood to get high today. High Kyle was uncharacteristically sad and loud, which how does that duality work? Anyways, no one wants to witness that shitshow.
"Nah, I am fine. You seem to be having fun though. What's the occasion?"
"Broke up with Brett, fucking arsehole, so glad to be out of that awful relationship."
"Oh, good for you then. I didn't even know you guys were dating" Kyle had heard of Brett hooking up with someone last week, he didn't think it was the right time to mention that.
"Eh never mind. How's yours going? Mills get sick of you yet?" He chuckled at that.
"Nope, I am not letting go of her anytime soon. Gonna keep her around for as long as she let's me."
"Careful there mate, you sound proper smitten. You look like you're two drinks away from writing her a sonnet." Lucy hit him lightly on his arm.
"I am crazy about her" Kyle didn't know why he was telling Lucy this, But he just wanted to say it all. Pour his heart out. Lucy was high as fuck she wouldn't remember anything anyway. "It's just, whenever I think about her, it's like my mood lifts up. She's so pretty and kind. Literally the best."
"Proper Sap you are. C'mon man stop gushing about your girl, I can't handle a green flag like you." Lucy said, stubbing her cigarette in the ashtray. "Alright, I am off, need to leave. Jay's giving me a ride and his curfew is at 12."
He nodded at her. He turned around stubbing the cigarette in the ashtray. He was about to leave too, when he heard Lucy calling out "Hey Stanley, Don't fuck it up, yeah? And if you do, give her my number. " She winked, he chuckled at that.
He was making his way towards the backdoor to leave too, when Kate came through it. "What are you doing here? I've been looking all over for you."
"Oh I just, I came out for some fresh air. Why were you looking for me? I thought you were still with Aditya" He hoped Kate didn't sense the annoyance.
"I was looking for you because you left from the living room looking like you were going to be sick. Sorry for being concerned about you." Now Kyle felt bad. Kate came because she was worried for him.
"I am sorry. No, I just I wanted some fresh air that's it"
"You don't just leave so abruptly, for 'fresh air' and I can tell you were smoking. what fresh air? What's wrong Kyle? Are you ok?" Her arms reached out landing on his shoulder.
"I am fine, absolutely fine"
"Then why did you leave like that?"
"Nothing I told you, I am fine, besides weren't you with Aditya, comforting him." He tried to keep the annoyance out, but Kate obviously noticed it.
"Do you have a problem with Adi? He was sad and homesick and at a unknown place with unknown people so I was trying to cheer him up, what are you on about? And don't try to deflect, I asked you something" Kate was pissed off now.
"Jesus, would you stop with these questions already. You wanna know why I left? Because I couldn't fucking look at you. You and...and him. I couldn't. I can't do this, Kate. I can't fucking do this." Kyle blurted out whatever was going on in his mind. And he wasn't stopping "I can't keep kissing you and cuddling you and falling asleep next to you and have it mean nothing. I cannot think straight when you're in front of me. And it was fine, all fine till that stupid fucking Halloween night, when your drunk arse told me you might like me. Yeah, you don't remember, but I do. And I haven't been able to stop thinking about it. And then you wake up the next day, and reiterate just how fake this all is and I thought that can't be right, this cant all be just pretend. Because it isn't, not anymore, not to me atleast. And it's so obvious, so fucking obvious how gone for you I am, but you are so oblivious to it and the sad part is, I love that, all of it. Everything about you. I love how you wave at me when I come to pick you up, how your cheeks redden when I kiss you, how your breath hitches whenever I hold your hand, and I tell myself 'I should not get used to it' but I want to. I want to get used to this, you, us. I really fucking like you and I don't know what to do with myself."
A few minutes passed in utter silence. Kyle's outburst was a little too loud, thank god no one was out in the garden. He looked at his feet. Not even daring to glance up at Kate. He couldn't believe he had said it. He didn't regret it, but it could've gone a little differently about it.
Kate took a hesitant but steady step towards him. Her clogs touching his vans. After a few more minutes of silence, which felt like a lifetime. She finally spoke "Kyle, can you maybe look at me?" he shook his head. His eyes firmly locked on the ground. "Please?"
Kyle slowly looked up at her "I am sorry-" He began to say when she interrupted him.
"Well, bend down a bit will you? " She looked at him. Smiling, a hint of nervousness on her face.
"What-" Kyle was interrupted yet again, ever so ungracefully by Kate.
"Fucking idiot" She murmured as she stood on her tip toes and wrapped her hands around his neck pulling him down and pressing her lips to his. It was just a peck. Over as quickly as it began, but it felt like a shot of electricity ran through his body, illuminating his senses. When they pulled away, he found her looking at him nervously biting her lips. Her pink, full, bow shaped lips. Which were just seconds ago on him. He wanted, no he needed to taste them again.
He couldn't hold himself any longer. He took her face in his hands and kissed her again. Kissed her like there was no tomorrow. And she responded, enthusiastically. Her hands made their way up his body, one in the hair, the other round his neck. He traced his hands down her torso and on her waist, revelling in her short pants of breath. She parted her lips, allowing his tongue to enter her mouth. He could taste the beer and diet coke she had been drinking earlier, and some trace of strawberries though that might have been her lipgloss. He wanted this taste imprinted in his mind. He couldn't believe his fucking luck. Kate liked him too. That thought brought him back to reality.
He pulled away slowly, Kate chased after his lips. He pecked her pouting lips before pulling away entirely. But he didn't let go of her, his arms firmly placed around her, his forehead leaning against hers, her hands on his chest.
She looked completely wrecked. Hair messed up, lips swollen and deliciously red, cheeks pink. She looked like a dream. A very specific dream. He did that, he thought.
A few minutes passed in complete silence. Both of them trying to catch their breath.
"You got something to say to me?" He broke the silence, a smirk playing on his lips.
"Nope, nothing. Your speech was a little too long" Coyness was not Kate's best skill.
"Fuck off, you riled me up." That speech wasn't Kyle's best moment. "C'mon, out with it. You didn't kiss me for nothing"
"I didn't-" She was cut off by her phone ringing. Kyle groaned. Auspicious timing. "Fuck, it's mum. I had to be home 10 minutes ago, I need to find Samuel and get going." Well that effectively ruined it. She gave him an apologetic shrug, looking very disappointed.
"Oh ok, I'll drive you guys, find Samuel and meet me by my car."
"Ok yeah," She made her way back in the house.
He was practically bouncing on his feet. Giddy with happiness and high on dopamine.
They met by the car five minutes later with Samuel in tow. The car ride was quite. It wasn't awkward. But with Samuel there, they couldn't talk much.
He stopped by their house. Samuel got out and mumbled a quick thanks to Kyle, he waved at him.
Kyle looked at Kate in the passenger seat. She looked like she wanted to say something but before she could Samuel called out to her "Kate, you have the fucking keys. Get here already, I have to pee".
"I should go, I'll uh, I'll see you. Drive safe. Text me when you get home." She reluctantly got out of the car and said bye before closing the door and walking up to the porch.
Kyle had backed out and was about to leave when Kate came running back to him. Kyle looked at her, confused. She came by the driver's side and kissed him right on the lips. When she pulled away she whispered "I really fucking like you too."
Needless to say, the ride home was very safe indeed.