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Even a year after the return of the dawn, Throné still had nights she didn't sleep well. Living with the Blacksnakes, she couldn't remember a night when she had enjoyed a restful sleep, and spending nights simply lying awake had often left her feeling hollow. However, she thought as she touched Agnea's sleeping face, it wasn't so bad now if there was still a night or two she couldn't sleep easily. She smiled; Agnea's warmth so close was comforting.
Faintly she caught the scent of raspberries as she tucked a strand of Agnea's hair behind her ear. Just as Agnea promised, Cropdale loved its raspberries.
Throné's eyes fell to Agnea's lips. Sometimes she was afraid of falling asleep, lest she wake and realize this had all been a dream and that a poisoned collar still bound her. But this was real, she told herself. Agnea's body was so very warm and soft against hers, and when they made love, a pleasure she'd never dared to dream of filled her. Agnea loved her, and she was free now, free to return that love in kind. She was free to forgive herself.
Beside her Agnea stirred, and her face became twisted with fear. Her body trembled, and she moaned softly. "Agnea?" Throné said carefully, drawing back her hand, but still Agnea didn't wake, and the fear upon her face grew stronger.
Throné understood. The eight of them had brought back the dawn, but the nightmares weren't so easily forgotten.
Gently she put her arms around Agnea and threaded her fingers through Agnea's unbound hair, just as Agnea often did for her when she suffered nightmares. To hold another like this, so tenderly and lovingly, was still at times an unfamiliar feeling, and she feared her own touch insufficient. Yet the trembling in Agnea's shoulders eased a little, and her expression softened.
Throné didn't need to wonder what nightmares Agnea suffered. Crick's death in Stormhail, the sorrowful Darkling during the Night of the Scarlet Moon, Lostseed and the monstrous Claude, that vision of Tanzy burning to death - they had all witnessed much sorrow and pain during their travels together. Yet still Agnea saw beauty in this world, still wished to make others smile.
"It's all right, my star," Throné whispered, brushing her lips against Agnea's brow. She fell silent a moment, recalling the lullaby Agnea had sung for her before she confronted Father in Montwise. "'Rest, little one, for the day is done,'" she sang softly; even now she found comfort in the lyrics. "'Queens and kings too were once like you. Now it's time to close your eyes, and rest until the sun does rise…'"
Slowly Agnea opened her eyes, and stared groggily at Throné. "Ah… Throné…?" she said, her voice small.
Throné chuckled mirthlessly; how ironic that her attempt at a lullaby would wake Agnea. "I didn't intend to wake you."
Agnea shook her head. "No, it's fine. I was having a nightmare, I think, and then I heard your voice…"
"What kind of nightmare was it?"
Even in the darkness of their bedroom Throné saw how deeply Agnea blushed. "You'll think it's silly," she muttered, lowering her face.
"Maybe, maybe not. Tell me, Agnea."
Agnea hesitated, and then let out a deep sigh. "It was my mother's statue in Sai, destroyed." She let out a weak laugh. "I know, of all the things to have nightmares about, right?"
When Dolcinaea and Veronica had threatened to raze the slums of Sai, Throné had never seen Agnea so angry, and that Dolcinaea would so callously disrespect Agnea's mother - well, Throné too had been affronted on Agnea's behalf. "I can't imagine it was very pleasant seeing a statue of your own mother in pieces."
Agnea chewed her lip, and again her shoulders trembled. "Before I woke, you were singing my mother's lullaby, weren't you? I wish you could've met her…"
Carefully Throné laid her hand on Agnea's hair. "I think I understand now - seeing that statue of your mother destroyed made your grief feel fresh, didn't it?"
"But it was just a statue, and that was over a year ago—!"
Throné laid a finger on Agnea's lips. "Grief is a complicated thing. I… know that all too well."
Agnea's eyes went wide for a moment, and tears began to roll down her cheeks. She touched her face, as if in disbelief, and Throné drew her into her arms. She sobbed into Throné's chest, and Throné said nothing, simply holding her close and kissing her hair. It had been a year since the battle for the dawn, and before Throné would never have thought herself capable of offering comfort. But Agnea believed in her, loved her.
Thus Throné began to sing again, that simple lullaby Agnea shared with her a year ago. She wasn't as good a singer as Agnea, and her voice was clumsy and uncertain, but soon enough Agnea's tears dried, and she looked up at Throné, a faint smile on her bright lips.
"You really like that lullaby, huh, Throné?" she said with a quiet giggle. "I'm glad."
"Of course I do. Do you remember when you first sang it for me?"
"Yes." Agnea's smile faded a little; the blood Throné had shed in pursuit of freedom would never be forgotten. "We've been through so much, but we brought back the dawn too. Things can get better! I will never, ever give up!"
Throné touched Agnea's cheek and brushed away a stray tear with her thumb. A house of their own, a bed to share, fresh raspberries every day - it was all more than she ever dared hope for. She hadn't given much thought to what would came after "freedom," and even at the end it had smelled of blood. But still Agnea had reached for her hand, and that was only a beginning, like the dawn itself. Never again would she allow someone to steal that treasure.
Agnea smiled, faintly and sweetly, and illuminated by the soft moonlight. She too laid a hand on Throné's cheek, and Throné leaned into that touch, always wanting more. Once, it had startled her how freely affectionate Agnea was, and as they traveled together, she had begun to long for that affection. From huddling for warmth in the Winterlands to sleeping together beneath the stars in the Wildlands, she hadn't realized the joy of simple touch. Agnea's hand slid lower, her fingertips brushing over Throné's bare throat, and Throné shivered in anticipation.
"You're beautiful, Throné," Agnea murmured against Throné's skin. How many times Agnea had said those words, Throné had lost count a long time ago, but she still loved hearing them all the same. Agnea had never been able to hide her attraction to Throné, and sometimes she still noticed Agnea stealing glances at her breasts, but now Agnea simply smiled when caught instead of turning away in embarrassment. Throné loved that honest desire of Agnea's.
Agnea kissed the base of Throné's throat, where that poisoned collar had once lain. Her lips were gentle yet hungry, and drew closer to Throné's cleavage. Throné had nightmares too, of blood and darkness. A part of her would always be afraid of turning out like Mother or Father. She raised Agnea's chin and then let her fingers curl around Agnea's slender, unmarred throat. Agnea's smile widened, her blue eyes bright, and her pulse quickened against Throné's palm. When she closed her eyes, she still sometimes saw Pirro's bloody, dying smile. Her own hands were stained in blood, but these same hands could hold Agnea so gently and grant her pleasure.
Temenos would say that the world wasn't so black and white, and that people weren't so simple. Smug bastard as he could be, he had believed in her too. They all had. No matter what that Arcanette woman said, Throné was free now. She was no mere vessel of Vide. A smirk tugged at her lips; she didn't mind having a god's blood on her hands.
Agnea laid her hand over Throné's at her throat, an alluring sparkle in her eyes. Throné bent her head to kiss Agnea, cherishing the warmth of Agnea's skin against hers. In some ways, she was still a snake, seeking the warmth of another. They kissed, over and over, and wherever Agnea's hands touched felt like fire. At times Agnea's warmth could be overwhelming, but Throné never wanted to let go. Agnea's touch alone made her feel alive in ways she had never felt before. She was free now, free to accept such warmth and intimacy. With a mischievous smirk, Throné released Agnea's throat and then cupped her ample breasts, and she gasped sharply.
"If you keep gettin' me so excited, I won't be able to sleep at all!" she giggled, some of her natural accent slipping free.
"Well, we've still a few days before we have to set out for New Delsta, so we can have a little more nighttime fun before then," Throné replied with a dark chuckle, savoring the weight of Agnea's breasts in her palms.
Agnea giggled again as she drew closer to Throné, pressing herself more into Throné's touch. "Maybe it's because that performance is so soon I'm feelin' restless. It's gonna be my biggest one yet, and we'll see all our friends again too!"
"It's been a year already, huh…?" Throné murmured. For much of that time, she had traveled with Agnea as her bodyguard. Though many of the places they visited were familiar, now that no collar weighted her down, it was like seeing them for the first time again.
"I'm so, so happy we met," Agnea whispered, planting a kiss to the curve of Throné's breast. "I'll keep shining, just like my mother, and I'll always help you smile, I promise!"
"Just remember to take care of yourself too. As your bodyguard, it's my duty to ensure your safety."
"I don't make things easy for you, do I…?" Agnea muttered with a sheepish smile.
"I wouldn't want it any other way." Throné smirked, and again pressed her lips to Agnea's for a kiss.
The two of them would always have nightmares, Throné knew. She couldn't imagine her life without them. But now the night also promised desire, and Throné felt Agnea's heartbeat against her chest as they held each other close.