Chapter Text
"It’s 2013," Daisya announces, kicking his soccer ball into the air and catching it on his other foot in a complicated display of dexterity.
"Thanks for the update," Kanda replies, popping out from behind a crate to blow away a geth before it can kill Tali. He’s not even sure when he started playing this game. He’s not usually a fan of video games, but Alma and Daisya play it. Alma left it running the other day when he disappeared to do…whatever and Kanda was bored.
He’s been playing it for a week. But only when Alma is never around. Daisya is sworn to secrecy, but they both know he’s just waiting to bust it out at the right moment.
"I’m just saying," Daisya continues, flipping the ball a few times before letting it fall into his hands and sitting up. “It’s 2013. People are totally cool with the whole gay thing, mostly. Homo marriage is a thing, video game characters are suckin’ each other’s dicks. You have no more excuses for being a pussy."
Kanda pauses the game. This way he can focus the entirety of his disbelief of Daisya. “What?" he grinds out.
"Don’t play dumb, pretty boy," Daisya smirks, pointing at Kanda with an unlit cigarette dangling between his fingers. (He’s trying to quit, those things’ll kill ya. He’s too pretty to die young.) Kanda continues to watch (glare at) Daisya and Daisya sighs. “Fine, be that way. I’m talkin’ about ya big homo crush on Junior."
Kanda quietly contemplates throwing the controller at Daisya’s head. But it’s Alma’s, and Alma can get pissy if you break his things. “You’re an idiot," he says, instead.
"You wound me," Daisya says like he hasn’t been called worse. (By Kanda. By Alma. By his parents. By their teachers.) “But your denial, while adorable, is only hurting you. And Junior, I guess. I’d warn you not to make him cry, but he’s made of tougher stuff than that." Kanda decides to ignore Daisya. Engaging him only makes it worse. He turns back to the game and moves through Peak 15. Daisya keeps talking. “Junior’s hot as shit and we both know it. Plus, he’s a genuinely nice guy."
"He’s an idiot," Kanda replies, very calmly, as he pumps fictional aliens full of fictional bullets.
"You think everyone is an idiot," Daisya points out. “Which is funny, because he’s actually way smarter than any of the rest of us. And you know it and it turns you on." Kanda doesn’t reply. He shoots a Rachni in the face. “Fine, be a bitch. I’m just lookin’ out for ya, man. When Junior gets fed up with your hot and cold, will-we-or-won’t-we bullshit and doesn’t feel like taking your weird forms of angry affection anymore, we both know you’re going to show up at my window, sad and horny and you’re going to call his name again when you-"
Kanda snarls and beats a Rachni to death with the butt of his assault rifle. “Lavi can do whatever he likes," Kanda hisses.
"Well, I’m glad you feel that way, because we’re going out later," Daisya says, watching Kanda carefully.
Kanda watches numbly as Shepard gets her face melted off by an angry mutant alien bug. Resume? the game asks. “Why?" Kanda asks.
"Because he’s hot and funny and smart and you won’t get your dick out of your own ass and he deserves to be happy-," Daisya says, but the words get choked off as Kanda is suddenly in his face with his fists clenched in Daisya’s shirt. “Whoa, tiger, this got sexy."
"Anyone but him," Kanda growls and pushes Daisya back into the couch. He stands and strides towards the door, pausing to pull on his boots and his coat.
"Goin’ to Junior’s?" Daisya asks and smirks as the door slams on his question. Like Daisya would ever go out with Lavi. He’s not into redheads.
Just idiot brunets.
Daisya slides his phone out of his pocket and taps out a text to Alma. Your dumb brother left his video game up when he went to do homo things. Gonna ruin his life a little.
I won’t cry at your funeral, comes the reply three seconds later.