Work Text:
Marvin sat there, staring down at the stack of papers smothering the desk. The pen finally dropped, slipping between his two fingers with a clack as it hit the wood.
His face and limbs were then stilled, as if his life had sucked itself out of him once and for all. It started with a small poke of a needle — him being conceived.
Of course, it didn't stop there.
It 𝗰𝗼𝘂𝗹𝗱𝗻'𝘁, could it?
Worthiness was something Marvin knew he lacked, no matter how many times he would stare Infront of a mirror and smile at his reflection. No matter how many times he would think back to when he was just a boy, (though, it doesn't feel like anything has changed if he were to be honest... maybe that's because it was all one big cloud) he knew that there must be a reason for his failings and he sadly couldn't blame them on everyone else.
Marvin didn't see his parents as much as he should have.
Well, at least that's what Mendel told him the last time they had an exchange.
What he did remember of the two was all fuzzy and he felt his juices absorbing into his fleshy mouth, drying it up and leaving it a deserted desert, when he had to overly expand upon the point. Apparently, it was an important part of 'decoding his habits and general aura', whatever that meant.
Yet, as he layed in bed and stared up at the ceiling, tracing the nonsensical patterns with his eyes, he found that his mind did have gaps between those clouds, no matter how thick they appeared earlier. If there wasn't, he'd be pretty concerned, (he was still far too young to have those brain circuits completely tethered... right?) yet he thought the brightness breaking out also struck him negatively.
It started of when he landed on the subject matter of Jason, his 7 year old son.
Now, the boy had always preferred the company of his mother... and also had developed a liking for more feminine stuff in general. Marvin obviously couldn't have this and Jason couldn't either. His wife knew that but still presented herself as someone with wide, open arms.
𝗥𝗶𝗱𝗶𝗰𝘂𝗹𝗼𝘂𝘀. Absolutely 𝗿𝗶𝗱𝗶𝗰𝘂𝗹𝗼𝘂𝘀.
Marvin hated how his wife manipulated Jason into this false sense of comfort. Do you think heroes become this great powerhouse by being babied by their master? No! Meanwhile, Marvin was doing everything right. He suggested that Jason start playing sports instead of playing games and dollies. If he were not to do that sooner, his son would be too far gone and their family would be ridiculed.
Reminiscial crept up on him like a tiny, bloodthirsty hedgehog.
It was actually so 𝘂𝗻𝗳𝗮𝗶𝗿.
It really did seem like everyone else had it easier but he was making it harder for them to match the inner turmoil he was going through. At least they were left equal... but equal was still not enough for him.
Nothing would be enough for him, he realised.
Like an old arcade machine that had so much work put into it, only to be found to be faulty, therefore meaningless.
That was Marvin.
That's why he previously sat there for an hour. This was the only way he could change that fact — by filing this divorce.
Whizzer Brown had given him so much hope and relief in such a flurry. Of course, it was very regrettable what happened between the two for multiple reasons but he just had to remember that the man pursued him first and his panic would suddenly reduce from the tides.
Whizzer Brown was the 𝗼𝗻𝗹𝘆 thing he needed to focus on.