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Hyperlaser’s job was severely emotionally taxing.
Not that he could complain much. The pay is fine and the majority of KORBLOX respected him because of his efficiency. Of course, with the added mention that he was not expected to complain nor was it encouraged to. Your job is what fits you best, no matter how deeply you resent your title... or the administrators that expect you to hand in an inphernals horns with no thought of who once owned them.
To the administrators, inphernals of all types seemed to be ‘tools’ for them to use to their advantage, and Hyperlaser was forced to be acutely aware of that fact. Not only was he one of their more useful tools, but he was the one to get rid of the dangerous tools that they saw as a sword to KORBLOX’s neck.
He was expected to feel similarly. He was expected to hear the administrators complaints about their newest target, and agree with their every word. He was supposed to hear the words ‘so-and-so is a danger, they are stealing valuable food and materials’ and not think of the child they protected in their arms. KORBLOX found it best if he didn’t empathize.
...And so, he didn’t.
As the good little attack dog of the administration, he listened. He chose to see the severed horns of his targets and think of how they fought, and not how they were victimized from the very administration he profited from. He didn’t, couldn’t, think about their lives, their families, who they sought to protect, it’d make his job harder. He couldn’t make friends even among his peers, because who knew if they’d be the next target of a jaded administrator.
He was even forced to look at inphernals and see only their energy signatures because of his gear and the very nature of the disabilities he faced. The same ones KORBLOX would normally see as too ‘dire’ to treat in inphernals that were not their own dying-out soldiers, especially ones that always had shown an unnatural amount of dedication and potential.
...But even with the privilege he had in being alive, he still felt a pit of emptiness deep in heart. Inphernals have long blended together for him, and his memory issues didn’t help in the slightest. All he could solidly remember them by were the horn shapes, because in his act of carving them off as ‘proof of death’ for KORBLOX, he felt... wrong.
Horns are practically second in importance to gear, and yet he carved them away from their owner, and gave them away. As if they were never theirs to begin with. As if he didn’t know the depressing nature of missing something so important to an inphernals identity.
He swirled the glass of whisky in his hand, lidless eyes staring at the glass as he heard the quiet ‘swish’ of the liquid and clinking of the ice. He brought it up to his mask, and clicked a button to disconnect it from his face, drinking the whiskey in one go, feeling the burn trace down his throat. As soon as it was depleted, he placed the emptied glass on the bar counter with a gentle clink. His mask fell back down to his face under the gravity of his head leaning forward again, and he clicked the button to enclose the mask once more.
The bar was relatively quiet today, but there was still enough chatter for him to pick up on a handful of conversations around him. Talks of the recent loss of an inphernal in Crossroads, one that he was familiar with. An inphernal long twisting horns that curled backwards, trailed with small spikes along the top side of their horns. The ones currently uncomfortably poking at his ribcage in his jacket as he leaned towards the counter. They didn’t pose much of a fight, considering Hyperlasers long distance gear, but they had the build of someone who’d handle a heavy gear... Was it a Mace? A Mallet?
It didn’t matter, they were gone now. Their gear would be recycled and given to another inphernal in no time.
He averted his attention from that conversation, and instead focused on another. He could hear others talking about the Blackrockian sitting at the counter, him obviously, and various other subjects of no interest to him. In fact, nothing in the bar was very interesting to him, which was unfortunate. His fingers traced the rim of his whiskey glass, dodging the sticky leftovers of whiskey on part of the rim. He would prefer not to think about the nature of his work, and especially not the nature of his faction. But... What else was there to focus on?
He had no more jobs for the coming days he could currently act upon, and there was nothing interesting to listen to from the patrons of the bar. He stared idly at the whiskey glass again, lifting it up to look at the glass. That was the whole reason he came here too, he was feeling.. retrospective. And it’s never good for any Blackrockian to look back in hindsight.
His finger twitched along the glass on the side of the cup, feeling the near softness of the smooth glass against the flat of his pointer finger. Hyperlaser had started to make a habit of going to bars after his... hunts. The warm, burning feeling of the whiskey down his throat had begun to become a comfort for him after a long night dealing with the blood on his hands, figuratively and literally. Of course, he wasn’t supposed to drink much of it, so he never did, but he still craved the taste of the woody and lightly sweet liquid. He almost wanted to order another glass, regretting drinking all of it so quickly.
Hyperlaser’s hand grew tighter around the glass as he heard the creaking of the door to the bar opening, peering through his peripherals. His hand loosened as he caught sight of a familiar shape slightly dipping his head to fit into the doorway, on account of his tall stature, and his taller and sharper horns. Once in the building, he went to his original posture, rotating his head ever so slightly stopping once he caught sight of Hyperlaser.
He stepped with certainty towards Hyperlaser, his head up with the certainty he always seemed to have. In the gap of vision behind his head, he could hear his footsteps ever so quietly along the floor of the bar with soft clacks, and soon enough he saw his horns peak through the other side of his peripheral. Hyperlaser turned his head slightly towards him, placing the glass down as the familiar inphernal nodded at him in acknowledgement.
“Greetings, Hyperlaser. May I sit with you?” Katana spoke quietly, his voice deep, smooth and full of the familiar certainty as always. He always spoke every word with a purpose, he didn’t add flowery language or words to puff out his sentence. Just whatever was necessary. That was something Hyperlaser liked about him.
“Of course, no need to ask.” Hyperlaser replied, lifting his hand for him to lean the side of his head on as he watched Katana sit on the bar stool next to Hyperlaser. He always sat with his legs slightly to the side, as they didn’t fit comfortably under the lip of the bar because of his larger, bulky stature. Katana looked away from Hyperlaser, and alerted the bartender, asking for his usual bottle of sake.
When the interaction was finished, one of Katana’s arms rested against the counter of the bar, and his other hand lay unused in his lap. Hyperlaser couldn’t help but notice just how strict his posture always was, no matter how he sat or positioned, he never relaxed against anything. Unfortunately, it seemed like Katana simply never did relax. Hyperlaser sometimes wondered if he ever did, and he was leaning towards ‘no’, considering he was never relaxed even in his more ‘indulgent’ moments. Like, for example, going to a bar to see Hyperlaser.
...Well, he was assuming.
“Nice to see you Katana, what brings you here?” Hyperlaser asked in his usual quiet voice. Katana paused for a moment, and Hyperlaser noticed his fingers twitch against the counter. Katana looked away from his helmet and a little more towards the bar, seemingly with a slight amount of shame twinging his actions.
“...I heard around town that someone in a Blackrock-like uniform was in town, and I figured it was you.” Katana responded, voice a little quieter in account of the very small undertone of guilt and shame in his words. As if wanting to see a friend was a crime to his moral code. Hyperlaser let out a small huff of amusement.
“So you wanted to see me?”
“More or less.”
Hyper let out a small chuckle at that. “Well, I can’t complain.” He bit back the words he wanted to add to that statement. Hyperlaser didn’t like to admit liking another inphernals company, but he couldn’t help but admit that Katana’s was by far his favorite. Whilst his stature was naturally imposing, he himself never asked for too much and hated to push too far. He also had an air of mystery that Hyperlaser found neverendingly interesting to poke at... And, well, generally, he was fun to poke at.
He looked away and tilted his head down at the whiskey glass again, seeing the shape of his burnt hand against the smooth feeling glass. He peered at his gloves off to the side and back to the whiskey glass, breathing hard through his nose. He moved the palm of his hand against the smooth wooden grain of the counter, watching the shape of the bartender make their way hurriedly towards Katana and Hyperlaser.
The bartender placed Katana’s sake in front of him, Katana responding to their ‘here you are’ with a gentle ‘thank you’. Their face turned to Hyperlaser, their tall and sharp horns standing to attention as they asked him if he wanted more. He considered it for a moment, and gently shook his head. “I shouldn’t” He responded firmly, then pushed the glass towards the bartender for them to take. He then turned his head to Katana fully, who had lifted his mask a little to take a sip of his sake. The action was smooth, and small, but a bit prolonged, until he placed the sake bottle on the counter with the familiar clink of glass.
“Tiring day?” Hyperlaser asked, which Katana nodded to. His hand automatically rested back into his lap after adjusting his mask to properly sit on his face, his nail carefully rubbing at the neck of the sake bottle pressing against his hand.
“Unfortunately. Nothing bad occurred, I was only mildly peeved if anything.” Katana spoke vaguely, which earned him a small tilt in Hyperlaser’s head, which he accurately took as a sign to elaborate. “My neighbors tend to be a little disruptive of my routine, which is an annoyance to me.”
“...You speak really cryptically, Katana.” Hyperlaser pointed out, attempting to prod him for more details. That was something Hyperlaser found a bit bothersome. Whenever he was interested in something Katana was talking of, he had to poke and prod at him every single time, until he spoke the right string of sentences to get him to give over proper detail. Katana’s nail stopped directly against the neck of the bottle, and his head tilted down a little as if he was wondering something. Hyperlaser had a feeling he knew what question was lingering.
“...Are you asking for more detail?” Katana asked softer than normal, which was the exact question Hyperlaser was expecting from him. Katana was very obviously never good at telling when more detail was desired. Hyperlaser assumed that Katana was taught that ‘less is more’, since it seemed so deeply engraved in his brain. He does recall Katana mentioning he lived a stricter than normal past, although Hyperlaser never pried about it. Katana seemed hesitant to talk about it.
Regardless, Hyperlaser nodded and watched as Katana’s nail rubbed slower than before. Hyperlaser was starting to assume it was out of a mild discomfort in expressing himself, but if he wasn’t disengaging, he figured it was okay to ask more questions.
“My neighbors have an affinity for disrupting my routine. Typically, it’s nothing direct. One of them has a garden that gets... unruly, which grows into my meditation room. Today, however, I was interrupted mid meditative session by a knock on the door, and when I answered they gifted me types of tea and a few baked goods. Which is unusual, since typically they leave it at my door, but I didn’t ask questions. I expect it’s because I hadn’t left my apartment the day before.” Katana said, adding details he knew Hyperlaser would normally prod him for if he didn’t add them originally. It felt a little weird knowing that Katana knew him well enough to clarify things he’d normally never clarify. It left a weird feeling in his stomach, and an odd but pleasant slight tingle in the broken-off knubs of his horns. He ignored both feelings.
“It was merely a bit annoying. Everything else went well today.” He finished, going to take another swig of his sake.
“I didn’t know you could get annoyed” Hyperlaser teased playfully, which Katana hummed to mid-drink. Hyperlaser toyed with the antennae on his helmet with the hand he was leaning on, feeling the limb start to get that pins-and-needles sensation, but he made no plan to move it from its place. As he idly listened to the chatter of the bar because of the lull in conversation, his fingers paused against his antennae. Hyperlaser arrived at Crossroads yesterday for a bit of a more prolonged stay than usual, as he had multiple targets to... get rid of in Crossroads. If Katana hadn’t been out the day before...
“...When did you hear about me being in town?” Hyperlaser asked, making sure to make the question seem out of idle curiosity, whilst in reality it was out of a want for confirmation.
Katana paused mid-replacing his mask. That pause was more prolonged than normal, as if he felt ‘caught’ by Hyperlaser, and when he adjusted his mask properly to his face, he looked away in a mix of what seemed to be shame and embarrassment.
“...Right before I came here, from someone who had just left this bar because you were there.” It was ever so slightly present in his voice, but Hyperlaser could hear the gentle twinge of embarrassment in his response, not to mention the way it was softer than it normally was.
...Hyperlaser didn’t doubt it either, for one, Katana had a disdain for lying, and secondly, inphernals from the Crossroads tended to be hesitant of Blackrockians, if not scared of them. Hyperlaser huffed a small laugh of amusement. He didn’t know Katana was so eager to see him, and that brought his attention back to the soft tingly feeling in his knubbed horns. He dismissed it again.
“If you don’t mind me asking, how long have you been here?” Katana tilted his head at Hyperlaser, and Hyperlaser’s head fell a little. He had been able to just forget the reason why he was here, and that brought back all the same thoughts in an instant. He caught eye of Katana’s nail rubbing at the neck of the bottle again, and lifted his head back up.
“Before you came here, around fifteen minutes, or so.” Hyperlaser answered, whilst he tried his best to keep his composure and try to hide the fact he was a bit upset out of the memories invoked at the question, he could tell it bled a bit into his voice. Katana paused, head tilting in the other direction, as if he was considering something. Hyperlaser started to fidget with his antennae again out of a mild nervousness.
“You finished your whiskey.” Katana pointed out, as if it held significance. Hyperlaser was noticeably confused at the mention of his drinking habits, so Katana continued; “That’s unusual, typically you take smaller sips.”
There was a small pause in conversation as Hyperlaser’s fingers stopped, and he slowly looked away. He dreaded the next thing to come out of Katana’s mouth.
“Is something wrong?” Katana’s voice was noticeably concerned, but didn’t come off as gentle... Hyperlaser appreciated that, even in his discomfort of him calling out his accurately assumed distress. Hyperlaser subconsciously let out a small sigh, and he moved his other arm to lean on the counter, choosing not to look Katana in the eye. Any more eye contact, and he’d feel as if he was... too noticed, if that was an accurate way of explaining anything. He liked it when Katana knew small things, like when to add more detail to a sentence, but he felt a little caught in moments like this, where his discontent was obvious to those around him.
“...I’ve had a long day at work.” Hyperlaser responded. It was ironic how he’d hound Katana for being cryptic, and then he himself would end up being cryptic himself the second his feelings were involved. How hypocritical of him. He wondered if Katana found annoyance in his hypocrisy in moments in this, but he wasn’t about to ask him. In fact, he was very tempted to disengage the best he could with this conversation.
He hated the idea of someone knowing his problems. Knowing his quirks? That’s fine. Endearing, even. Knowing when he’s upset? Knowing what he’s upset about? That’s a different story.
“What do you do for work?” Katana prodded. Unusual for him, and you could tell by his voice that he was hesitant to poke at Hyperlaser in this state. Typically, he’d move on to a different topic of conversation when Hyperlaser started to show discomfort like he was now. The question itself made him acutely aware of the Mace-Machete inphernals horn digging into his ribs.
He had never told someone outside of Blackrock his actual occupation. It’d normally lead to an air of fear, as if he’d jump across the room just to snap the neck of who he’s talking to. He was even more hesitant to talk about KORBLOX’s... practices when it came to ‘proof of death’. If his occupation made others scared, the fact he was responsible for hundreds of bodies missing a horn made inphernals despise him.
He nervously moved his hand he was leaning on so he could clasp his hands together, suddenly hyperaware of the people around him staring at him and how the bar was quieter than it was before. Even if he wanted to tell Katana, which he was still debating on by itself, there were too many people. Too many eyes. He took a glance at Katana, who was still in that same position, although now he leaned both his arms on the counter, his other hand scratching at the wood, almost out of.. concern?
That was foreign. No one had ever shown Hyperlaser genuine concern in... well, as long as his memory allowed him to remember. Thinking for a moment, he decided to bite the bullet. If Katana wanted to be concerned about Hyperlaser, it would be best for him to know the full extent of his work, considering the fact that to most it’d be considered as some kind of sin. Which, if he were to be honest, Hyperlaser didn’t necessarily disagree with those inphernals.
Hyperlaser slowly motioned for Katana to get closer, which he listened to, scooting the stool closer as Hyperlaser motioned so that when he sat back down, their shoulders brushed together. Hyperlaser leaned into the contact, although that was more so he could whisper to him effectively. Katana leaned into him as well, just about hooking part of Hyperlaser’s head with his horn and stopping just before resting his head on Hyperlaser’s. Part of Hyperlaser mourned the idea of that contact, but Hyperlaser was quick to ignore that part of him. He was sure it didn’t mean anything.
When both of them got situated, Hyperlaser spoke quietly, as quiet as he could get his voice, so that no one else but Katana could hear him. “I’m a KORBLOX mercenary. I either body guard or kill inphernals for money, and typically it's the latter.” Hyperlaser watched Katana closely, seeing his fingers twitch at the information, stopping their scratching at the counter, seemingly to take in the information.
But, that was not the worst part of his job, so...
“Unfortunately,” His voice was shaky with the first word, far more uncertain and empathetic than he’d normally share with someone, “as ‘proof of death’, the company forces me to...” Hyperlaser’s voice trailed off, and he took a shaky breath. He wasn’t sure why this was so emotionally taxing to him, although he didn’t really ever talk about this to people outside of Blackrock... so perhaps that was why. “I am forced to sever a horn from the inphernal I kill.”
If Katana paused at the previous information, he completely froze at this, his body more rigid and tense than normal. Hyperlaser was quick to look away, noticing how shaky his hands were as he started to rub his thumb along his other fingers, his hands clenched tightly together. He tried his best to look otherwise composed, trying to ward away the shakiness his entire soul was wanting to take on.
Hyperlaser was incredibly nervous about how Katana was reacting. He’d normally never freeze like he was now, and Hyperlaser was sure this conversation would lead to the end of their already-shaky friendship. He’d never dropped a bomb as layered as this one on Katana, and it was clear he was sorting out his feelings. It was just a question on whether or not he’d leave right after hearing this.
Hyperlaser half expected Katana to simply get up and leave.
He was not expecting Katana to gentle a hand over his clasped ones, and he especially not expecting him to gently rub at his shaky fingers with his clawed thumb. His hands were coarse with a mix of age and wear from all of his time practicing on his swordsmanship. Hyperlaser breathed out a shaky breath he had no idea he was holding, and then took a deeper one as he looked back over to Katana.
“KORBLOX makes you do such a horrid practice?” Katana spoke, voice a little heavier than it’d normally be, but otherwise the same quiet and smooth voice, maybe a bit more gentler than normal too. Hyperlaser breathed in through his mouth, tilting his head to the side a bit.
“Unfortunately.” Hyperlaser clarified, looking off to the side. “If I’m honest, what was upsetting me was one of the client’s targets I was asked to... get rid of.” Hyperlaser spoke quietly. He struggled to understand why he was discussing this with Katana, like he had thought previously, they hadn’t even called each other a friend yet, even despite the conversations they’ve had over drinks and phone. And yet, he found himself able to entrust this information into the palms of Katana. Well, it wasn’t like he talked to many, for one, but...
“It... was a rather young inphernal, one with what was nearly nubs for horns. No more than 21. It’s...” Hyperlaser’s voice trailed off, remembering the voice of that young inphernal begging for him to show mercy. “It’s bothering me. I didn’t even hesitate.” Hyperlaser’s voice was beginning to shake more, and he could feel himself getting emotional. Every bone in his body was telling him to stop, that this wasn’t a safe space to show emotion, that he couldn’t be sure he could trust Katana with this information. What would KORBLOX think? And yet... Ever so quietly, he continued.
“What’s wrong with me?” Hyperlaser lifted up his hands, Katana’s hand moving to allow him to do so, and he held his head in his hands. “All I can do is mourn them despite the fact their bloods on my hands, and their horns are in my possession.” His voice was more emotional than he’d ever allow. Katana carefully put a hand on his back. Hyperlaser watched him back to look behind him, towards the watching faces of the bar. He quickly looked back at Hyperlaser’s shaky hands, and called the bartender over.
He gave money to the bartender as Hyperlaser continued to shake, still wondering if he was talking too much. Leaving the forgotten sake on the table as he stood up with a slight air of hesitance from his concern, He offered his free hand to Hyperlaser, which Hyperlaser took without the normal thought he’d put into every action, his or otherwise. He could barely look up at Katana as he guided him to stand up and out of the bar.
As they stepped out of the bar, the cool air hit Hyperlaser’s damaged skin, the sudden coolness making him aware of Katana’s warm and rough hand still carefully encasing his own. He walked beside Katana, wondering if he should let go of the other’s hands as he simply followed wherever he was taking him. He decided against it, finding comfort in the larger inphernals hand being around his, the callousness grounding him slightly and the general contact making him aware of the tingle in what was left of his horns returning.
...Part of him was convinced Katana was going to take him somewhere to kill him, but at this moment, he couldn’t help but embrace the idea. The idea of dying at the hands of Katana wasn’t the worst to cross his mind, if anything, he was more worried about the fact Katana would become an enemy of KORBLOX rather than his own death. When you come to kill so many other inphernals, you can’t help but wonder if you deserve death yourself, and most of the time, you’d be inclined to believe you do. Well, in Hyperlaser’s experience at least, he felt that way. He hadn’t met many other inphernals with similar struggles.
Although, he was quick to notice the buildings around them turn to what seemed to be apartment complexes...
Oh. Maybe he thought a little too harshly of Katana a little too soon.
Katana was still walking with a purpose, occasionally turning his head to peer at the shorter inphernal, making sure he was still behind him and intact... which was debatable, in his mind. The shield he’d normally hold against all inphernals without question was cracking ever so slightly for Katana, and Hyperlaser wasn’t sure how to feel about it. He didn’t know why he trusted Katana, he hadn’t known him for as long as someone in his life like Subspace, and yet he’d already entrusted Katana with more of his feelings than he had ever once considered mentioning to Subspace.
Was it because he wasn’t from Blackrock? Was it because he couldn’t use this information against him? Was it because of that stupid tingly feeling he still had in his horns because of how gentle he had been thus far with Hyperlaser? He was seriously starting to wonder what was up with that feeling, it had been persistent throughout the entirety of talking to Katana, and he wasn’t entirely sure that was normal. Originally he thought it was some type of phantom feeling, which he’s had before in his horns, albeit a bit more severely painful than whatever was happening at current times.
What did that matter, though?
Katana led him up that stairs of what Hyperlaser was certain was his apartment complex, leading him past a number of doors and towards one with a mat at the front of the door. He took notice that the one at the right of Katana’s apartment had a welcome mat as well, which was much more detailed. Katana’s simply said ‘welcome’, whilst the other had the same lettering along with little flowers tracing the framed border of the text. He assumed those were the neighbors Katana had previously mentioned.
He watched Katana take keys out of seemingly nowhere, unlocking the door with one turn, and then Hyperlaser allowed himself to be herded into the apartment.
The first thing he noticed was how well kept his apartment seemed to be. So well kept that he was sure that if he asked, Katana would tell him that everything in his house had a specific place. That wasn’t very shocking, Katana was generally a well kept person who liked order and schedule in his life. In fact, normally he’d plan ahead for everything, including having another person over. It was odd how easy Katana found it to take Hyperlaser to his home.
Katana then gently led Hyperlaser to his couch, guiding him to sit down, which he quickly obliged. The second he sat down, he felt Katana’s hand leave his, and the worries from before began to haunt him again. What would Katana think of him- No, what does he think of him? Katana had heard information that would normally make another inphernal want nothing to do with Hyperlaser, and yet here he was, letting him into his home and onto his couch. Part of him was fascinated by this behaviour, but that was overshadowed by the fear deep in his heart.
He leaned forward, his arms resting on his knees as he looked down. He felt his leg bouncing, making it even more clear to Katana that he wasn’t okay. He still didn’t understand why he was okay with Katana seeing him like this. Normally, at the first sign of another knowing him, he’d instantly back away and disengage. It was even better if he ignored them for however long until he was comfortable with interacting again, if ever, but as of now... He wanted to stay. Katana’s company was keeping him stable, it wasn’t at all intimidating to him. He wasn’t sure why. He couldn’t understand why.
Katana pressed a hand on his knee.
“Sorry, you seemed nervous.” Katana spoke, slightly louder than normal. That seemed more so because he was in a comfortable environment, though. Hyperlaser squeezed his hands together, looking at Katana then back over to his hands. He took a weighted breath, slowly leaning back, which is when Katana withdrew his hand. After a moment of silence in his brain and in the moment in front of him, he looked over to Katana, who was... shockingly, a tiny bit more relaxed than normal. His posture wasn’t as straight, and one of his arms held him up on the couch as he watched Hyperlaser closely. All those difference were so small that an inphernal who didn’t rely on body language for communication wouldn’t have noticed it, but Hyperlaser, who was attuned to these small actions, noticed it, and noted it.
It was odd. Again, an inphernal who just confirmed he carves off other inphernal’s horns was sitting in front of him, and yet here was, slightly more relaxed than normal. Remembering Katana’s previous statement, he finally found his voice again.
“Yeah, sorry. Feeling emotions in front of others is usually a no-go for me.” Hyperlaser said, voice slightly coarse with the previous layer of emotion still present inside of him. He wasn’t sure how much of it he was willing to share at this moment, but he was clearly in a more ‘sharing’ than normal mood anyway. He thought for a moment, and then decided to continue.
“I don’t normally feel much anyway, a lot of the time that's a detriment in my line of work.” He peered over to Katana, who was as still as he normally was, seemingly listening to what Hyperlaser was saying. He took that as a sign to continue. “I’m not supposed to empathize with the inphernals I...” He trailed off, and his hand clenched a little. Hyperlaser let out a shaky breath and Katana hummed, moving in closer to Hyperlaser.
Ever so carefully, allowing Hyperlaser to back away at any moment, Katana pressed a hand on Hyperlaser’s again, and slowly wrapped the other around him and onto his shoulder. Hyperlaser’s hands loosened a little and they slowly disconnected. For a moment, he stared, hesitating as he slowly upturned his palm, pressing his against Katana’s.
Katana intertwined his fingers with Hyperlaser’s, and Hyperlaser found his body nearly automatically leaning against Katana’s. Katana’s arm moved to his waist, and Hyperlaser ducked under his horn to lean on his shoulder. It was alarming how naturally this came to Hyperlaser, and the tingly feeling in his broken horns continued harsher than either time before. Slowly, he felt the dots connect in his head, and realized his feelings for Katana may be a bit more than platonic.
..Granted, Katana was reciprocating the affection, so that probably meant... something, right? Katana leaned against Hyperlaser’s helmet, horn fully crowning his head. Okay, yeah this could be a little more than platonic in general. That was fascinating. It was also a little fascinating that Hyperlaser didn’t hate that idea, but hey, he didn’t really want to think about that.
He looked down at their intertwined hands, and sighed heavily.
“I feel like I have so much emotion, and little to nothing to express it.” Katana began to rub his fingers, which encouraged him to talk more. “KORBLOX expects me to be emotionless towards other inphernals. And even if I wanted to, I can’t cry for those I’ve killed. My injuries took that away from me. They expect me to be a biograft even though I am a real, living, breathing inphernal with real emotions.” His voice was steady, and yet he knew it was still weighted with his emotions. It was... different from what he was used to, but he still didn’t feel uncomfortable
Katana hummed, and squeezed his hand. Both of them paused for a moment.
“I think I understand what you mean. I faced something similar in my... life” Katana paused, clearly looking for the right words. “I... Was a part of The Church of the True Eye.” Hyperlaser twitched and looked over to Katana. That.. does explain what Katana meant by ‘stricter than normal’. Hyperlaser rested his chin on Katana's shoulder, whose head was slightly turned away now. “They expected something similar, especially since, at one point, I was considered a rather high devotee. I worked directly under Father Overseer. They... expected a lot. Including the lack of emotion you’re describing.”
...Hyperlaser expected himself to feel as if his problems were small in comparison to Katana’s, but... in a way he felt more intertwined with him. He was probably one of the only non-Blackrockians that could relate to him. That felt... safe, in some odd way. Katana turned to face Hyperlaser, their faces barely apart.
“That is to say, I know what feelings you’re talking about. We may not be in similar situations, but we do understand each other." Katana spoke softly, slowly leaning his head forward, the foreheads pressing together with the clink of porcelain and glass touching together. Hyperlaser took note of how his horns fully encased his head. He breathed a heavy breath again, slowly, hesitantly letting go of Katana’s hands to wrap his arms around him, pressing his face into his chest. Katana wrapped his arms around him a lot less hesitantly, regaining that purpose he’d normally have in his every action. He rested his chin on his head, rubbing his hand along the slope of his back.
It... wasn’t as confusing why Katana would be okay with what Hyperlaser had confessed now. Being an ex-cultist would, in fact, make it a little easier to see actions like carving off horns of inphernals easier to swallow. If anything, Hyperlaser was starting to wonder if Katana reacted like that less because of his actions, but because of the actions of KORBLOX. He wasn’t sure, but he wasn’t going to ask either. They’d both expressed a lot more emotion than either would normally ever be comfortable with.
He rested in Katana’s arms, suddenly hit by the comfort and warmth he felt in his hold. His arms were pressed meaningfully around him, as if he’d never let Hyperlaser go, if he was given the choice. His horns tingled again, and this time he welcomed the feeling of what he was starting to realize was romantic affection, for once in his life, not willing to push someone away for getting close enough to him. He was starting to wonder if he’d tear open his chest and reveal every ugly feeling, if Katana was interested enough... and he was leaning towards a ‘yes’, rather than the usual ‘hell no.’
He’d always known that he’d be more than willing to see Katana’s deepest, ugliest feelings if he ever wanted him to see them, so it’d only be fair if he showed his as well. He had a feeling they’d both welcome the other’s ugly with open arms, and that thought was possibly one of the most comforting things he could think of. In fact, at this moment, he didn’t want to be anywhere but in his arms... Was that odd of him? He didn’t find the ability to care about it.
“...Katana?” He called, voice much more softer than he’s ever remembered it getting.
Katana hummed, seemingly about as relaxed as Hyperlaser. How weird for him. Something in Hyperlaser grew warm at the idea that he was the one to get Katana to... relax, of all things. Who even knew he was capable of doing such a crazy thing.
“Can I stay with you tonight?” He asked, voice quiet, as if he’d asked Katana to steal the world for him. Katana didn’t even pause, responding instantaneously
“Of course.”
“...Thank you” Hyperlaser responded, the words weighted with general appreciation rather than a general thankfulness for letting him stay. He didn’t know he could ever find it in him to entrust someone with so many feelings he’d normally never utter into the world. He didn’t know he could feel so much affection for someone. He didn’t know he would, for once, be okay with feeling the attachment for another inphernal.
...And for once, he accepted the weighted emotions with open arms.