Work Text:
Peter has no clue what's going on.
And, sure, he's still getting used to the whole full-spider thing — the proof lies in his apartment, where failed attempts at harnessing his enhanced powers resulted in a noise complaint and cobwebs lining his cupboards. But he thought he was starting to understand at least some of it.
The eyes? Not at all.
Truthfully, he barely thought about the way his eyes got all big and black when he got all scary spider mode. He never saw them, and nobody else really did, either; save for Frank, and Jean, that one time. And, besides that, he had more important things to worry about than his big tapioca eyes that would just happen now. There's literal web fluid in his wrist, oozing out like an open wound and it's supposed to just — be normal. Like, that’s just a part of him now.
The last thing, the thing that seems to no longer be truthful; they're always gone once the fight is over. Once the cops have come and Peter is tucked inside the relative safety of his apartment, able to remove his mask and lock his window, his eyes have returned to normal. Still big, and brown, and bug-adjacent, but not whatever it is they do in spider-mode.
Ned has been trying to research the purpose behind the whole eyes thing, alongside every thing else involved with the full-spider situation. Ever since his memories started to return, he'd been overeager to return to the "guy in the chair" schtick. Peter couldn't even be overwhelmed by his excitement like he might've been 5 years ago, because at least it was here. At least he was here, and he was real.
(MJ hadn't had her memories return to her as easily. While Ned's memories had come in big waves, returning the tide to the ocean in the form of all his core memories with Peter flooding in first, and the little things about their friendship trickling in over the course of a couple months, MJ's were a steady stream in a manmade river. They caught on the rocks and the twigs that fell off trees, they flooded over and made a new stream when it rained. She'd remembered Peter, and bits and pieces came in, but she couldn't just immerse herself in this stranger the way Ned had.
Peter thinks, maybe, his confession of love had tinkered with the process a little. When he had expressed this to Ned, though, he had just scoffed a little and said, trial and error. Peter's inclined to agree with him every time MJ sends him that little soft smile he hasn't seen since high school.)
Ned has been begging him to come to their place after his fights. He says it's because he wants to make sure Peter's alright, and Peter's learning to believe him. However, another part of Peter can tell Ned wants to experiment on his arachnid DNA just a little bit more. Inspect him like a sick animal and prod at the open wound that lingers on his wrist, where the web fluid that literally lives in his body dries afterwards. But he’s not ready for that yet. He just barely got them back; he doesn’t want to scare them off.
He indulges Ned a little, though. Mostly because he knows not doing so has an equal chance of scaring him off as showing up to his apartment bloody and bruised does. He texts him after a fight, every time he slips through his shitty broken window. Sometimes Ned will call him if it's not too late, or he'll bombard him with questions over text if he’s (barely) trying to study. Sometimes it's a simple thumbs up to show that he's still there, that he saw the fight on the news or to tell Peter it's 2 in the god damn morning, go to bed. Sometimes Peter will send him a photo of him in the suit and a black eye, just to feel the familiarity of Ned glossing over the black eye and ask whatever question he can conjure regarding the suit, or the enemy he'd battled, or his day as Peter Parker.
All in all, when he comes back from an awful fight, nose bloody and knuckles bruised, and his eyes still big and black like a baby spider, he doesn't even think to check if this is something that's bad for him. Instead, he just stands with his phone in the mirror, zooming in on his pools of irises, and takes a photo to send to Ned. Ned answers almost immediate.
Peter: IMG_6162
Ned: Whoa????
Ned: Do ur eyes usually stay like that for this long?
Peter: not rlly
Peter: i prbly just need sleep tbh
Ned: I'll research it in the morning. Mj is sleeping and she always complains that I'm "too loud" when I research.
Peter: if it’s anything like hs, u definitely r lol
Ned: Rude
Ned: Go sleep and lmk if the eyes remain in the morning
Peter smiles and thumbs ups the message, looking at his reflection in the mirror again. The eyes — are not going down. He hopes to whatever god exists and definitely owes him by now that it is just a need for rest, because he'd rather not walk around New York with pools of black eyes and look like some fucked Comic Con closet cosplay of an alien.
Morning comes, and Peter's eyes are still fucked.
He groans as he looks in the mirror, running his hands through his hair. He grabs his phone before he does anything else, taking another photo, this time just a selfie. It's kind of blurry, but the focus is on his eyes, so it gets the job done.
Peter: IMG_3201
Peter: so something's not right
Ned: I figured as much
Ned: I've been researching it all morning and from what I can tell it's a fear response. Kinda like getting a stomach ache when you're nervous
Ned: Spiders use it to hunt prey and see their webs better :)
Peter: yea ok awesome how do i fix this
Peter: because i don’t think peter parker can walk around with spider eyes
Ned: Fair point
Ned: Come over to my apartment, I'm gonna look at them
Peter debates it for a minute. On one hand, it would, probably, help him relax. Him and Ned will probably just joke around and build LEGOs or something. They'll probably get some food from the cafe by their apartment delivered and watch a movie. MJ will probably call them nerds but watch the movie with them anyways.
On the other hand, that sounds like a nightmare. He barely wants to leave the house with his mutation eyes, let alone see other people — or, more specifically, see MJ. He doesn’t know how long it'll last, and he just can’t stop worrying that, maybe, he’s stuck like this forever—
He knows he can't stay in this apartment. So, he sighs, puts on a pair of sunglasses even though it’s not at all sunny outside, and tells Ned he's on his way.
He's regretting this.
He's regretting this for a multitude of reasons.
Reason one: His new eyes are, apparently, very sensitive. He keeps wincing at the slightest bit of light, which makes navigating the Subway even more agonizing than usual. He has to turn the brightness down all the way on his phone, and even that was too bright.
Reason two: Ned is getting them food from the cafe, but he didn’t wanna get it delivered, so he's picking it up himself. However, it's apparently super busy today, and he's been stuck in line for the past 20 minutes. Which leads Peter into—
Reason three: Now, he's standing in the hallway outside Ned and MJ's apartment, knowing MJ is going to answer the door when he knocks. He knows she won't let him just go straight to Ned's room, because she's a good host. He knows she'll probably ask him about the glasses, and he can’t lie to her, so then she'll find out about his freaky spider eyes and want to forget about him all over again.
He takes a deep breath. He knows, probably and hopefully, none of that will happen. Well, MJ won't let him get away with indoor sunglasses and going straight to Ned's room. But she probably won't care about his freaky spider eyes. She probably won't even comment on them, if he's being honest with himself. He's always been stronger on words of affirmation than her.
So, he knocks. And, as suspected, MJ answers.
"Oh, hey. Ned's still at the cafe." She says, and it sounds casual, but he can read her tone. He knows her better than he knows himself, and he knows she's judging him, a little.
"I know." He answers. "Um, he told me I could still come over and he'd come as soon as possible. So."
MJ sends him a look. "Okay. You can come in, but you're taking those ridiculous glasses off." She moves out of the way to let him into the apartment, and he steps forward. She stops him with a hand to his chest, before retracting like she's been burned. "I'm serious. You might be unstable, but I am not letting you become a sunglasses indoors guy. That's a low you can't hit as long as I still know you."
Peter freezes at her words. As long as I still know you, like she knows him now. Even though all she remembers is going to high school with him, at this point. She doesn't have a clue about him, or who he really is. "I can't." He says in response, instead of what he's thinking. "I can't take them off."
She raises an eyebrow at him, closing the door behind him but not letting him leave the space in between her and said door. "Are you high, Parker?" She questions, and he tries to laugh, but it gets caught in his throat, coming out more like an awed scoff.
"No! No — I, um, I can't, actually. With the metabolism and all." He adds. He sounds like he's trying to explain himself, or defend himself, maybe, but Peter doesn't even know what he's trying to do.
"What?" MJ says, before shaking her head a little as if to get the whole thought out of her head entirely. "Whatever. Doesn't matter. Why won't you take the glasses off?"
Peter sighs, but his chest warms with a sense of familiarity. MJ is too smart for her own good, curious and observant in a way that makes her dangerous. Maybe she's just dangerous for Peter, and he feels his hand move to grip the door handle so he doesn't reach out for her. His breathing is heavy like they're doing something that isn't talking. Heat rises to his cheeks and his knees buckle a little as she glares at him in questioning.
"It's nothing, really. It's a Spider-Man thing." He knows the excuse won't work, because MJ is curious and observant, but she's also not easy to kick. She's not like Frank, who'll take the chance to let Peter go and deal with his bullshit by himself; she wants the details and how to help, even if she barely knows him.
"A Spider-Man thing?" She responds, incredulous, and the excuse definitely did not work. "That effects your eyes?"
He lets out a breath he didn't know he was holding, because at least this parts the truth. He can still backtrack. "Yeah. Part of the whole new mutation thing. Ned wants to look at them up close." He moves to fidget with his fingers, even though he's telling the truth. He clears his throat while MJ glares like she still doesn't believe him.
It's quiet for a moment, before MJ says "Let me see."
Peter feels his face change, shocked and amused like she's gonna laugh at it, at him; but she doesn't. Her face is steadfast and serious. "What?" He asks, skeptical, because he still can't really believe she's being for real. "Are you serious?"
MJ crosses her arms and narrows her eyes, glare hardening. "Yes, I'm serious." She answers. "What? You think I can't handle it?"
"No!" He insists. "Not at all, I just—" He starts to defend himself, before he hesitates. Why is he not showing her? "It's kind of weird."
Something shifts in her expression, something that Peter can't quite place. She sighs before she argues, like she always does. Peter always thought that she does it because she thinks she can defend her point in one breath.
"Peter. You're literally Spider-Man. I think I've seen weird." She says it all exasperated, almost fond. But Peter just shakes his head.
"No, MJ, this is like— this is real weird. Weirder than the amnesia and the Spider-Man stuff." He sighs to himself before he can ramble out a response, recentering. "I don't wanna freak you out."
(He hopes his tone conveys his unspoken fear — I don't wanna lose you again.)
MJ expression hardens and he closes his eyes, even though she can't see them. "Take them off." He freezes and shifts at the tone, at the words, and he's grateful his eyes are closed, because if he had to look at her right now, he might not be so controlled.
MJ is dangerous. She's danger for Peter, because he can only ever listen to her. So, he opens his eyes, brings his hand up from where it had rest on his thigh, and removes the glasses.
His eyes are still sensitive, and he squints after they're free from the confines of his eyewear, even in the dim mood lighting of MJ and Ned's apartment. She seems to still be able to see the pools that overtake his eyes nonetheless, if the way she freezes is any indication.
"Holy shit, Peter." Her breath catches in her throat, making whatever shocked noise she was going to make come out something between a laugh and a scoff. "What— How—" She's stammering, and Peter moves from the spot he'd been stuck, between MJ and the door.
"It's been happening during fights ever since my arachnid hormones increased." He sighs as he says it, because he can't believe that's a real sentence that just left his mouth. "Usually it leaves after the fight ends, but—"
"But it didn't this time." MJ finishes his sentence, still in her spot by the door with a shocked expression on her face. She's staring directly into his eyes, and Peter feels trapped, even though there's more distance between them right now than there's been since he arrived at their apartment. "Holy shit." She repeats, and then steps closer.
Peter stays in his spot, unmoving, not breathing. MJ moves close enough that she can put a hand in each side of his face. She leans in a little to look closer at them, inspecting him like Ned would, but he shrinks under her gaze like it burns. He can feel her breath on his face and her nails scratch his jaw a little as she tightens her grip, like his shrinking means he's gonna run.
She makes a little hm sound as she scrutinizes him, but besides that, they don't talk. MJ has this look on her face, one Peter's never seen before; her eyes are almost blown, but she doesn't look scared. There's a little pink on her cheeks, but she looks more curious than anything else. Ever observant, he thinks. Dangerous.
He shifts a little, clearing his throat, and MJ seems to snap out of whatever trance she'd been in. She moves her hands away from his face and brings them down to her side, like she'd done all of that subconsciously. Peter bites his cheek and tries not to grab her wrist, tries not to beg for her to touch him again.
"Um. Sorry." She's sheepish, embarrassed, and Peter wants to hit himself upside the head and go stupid, stupid, stupid like a cartoon character. "I just— It looks crazy, Peter."
"I know." He says, simply. "And, uh, it's—" He swallows and scratches the back of his neck, where the mark where his inhibitor had been is still healing over. "It's fine. I know you're— curious." He says, instead of dangerous, observant, beautiful.
"Yeah." She latches onto it in a way that makes Peter feel like he's been hunted, like she's a wolf who's found her sheep. "Yeah. It's intriguing."
He goes to answer; he doesn't know with what. Maybe something funny to ease the tension that's appeared in the apartment, or something to build the tension; because it seems whatever they each say just fuels the fire. He wants to say something, at least. He doesn't want this to end; however, like most of Peter Parker's life, all good things come to an end. The doorbell twists and a set of keys knock against each other on the other side of the door before Ned enters the apartment.
He's enthralled with Peter immediately, none the wiser to the weird shit that just happened while he went and got them bagels. MJ moves away to grab hers when Ned walks up to put Peter under the light. He squints and laughs and goes Dude, stop! so naturally that he almost forgets about whatever him and MJ just did. But then, once he's away from the light and his eyes adjust, he catches her go to her bedroom with her bagel and shut the door behind her.
Dangerous, he thinks, staring at her shut bedroom door.
But maybe that's the purpose of MJ in his life, now. And if he can't be hers anymore, he'll settle for dangerous.