Work Text:
You and Higuruma had a past with one another, high school sweethearts, as many would say. For reasons you couldn’t remember, you broke up but remained best friends over the years. Having a shared interest in law meant you guys were pretty close throughout high school and well into adulthood. After graduating from school together, you both decided to work at a law firm together until Higuruma opened his own agency. He offered you a position alongside him, and you happily took it. Life was good, stressful from tough cases at times, but overall good for him. You, on the other hand, weren’t quite as lucky as he was. After dating Higuruma, you were single for a long time, but eventually found someone. Things were great, and, like the good friend he was, Higuruma was happy for you, even hanging out with you and your partner for drinks or other activities. Yet that sweetness your partner had quickly turned rotten. The abuse you endured rarely turned physical, but that didn’t mean it was any less painful to experience. The stress of work mixed with a relationship turning sour drained you till you were practically a husk of your former self.
You lied to everyone, making up excuses for the random bruises on your skin, why you stayed at work late, and why you were so sleep-deprived, but those lies didn’t work on Higuruma. You confided in him when the stress became too much to handle, and he was quick to comfort you in your time of need. He’d offered his help when he could and comforted you when the words of your partner hit as hard as punches. You tried to leave them, but every time they manipulated you; their words were chains that shackled you in the relationship, even though staying was the last thing you wanted. It wasn’t glaringly obvious, but after a while, Higuruma began to dislike your partner, yet he never overstepped, fearing it would do more harm than good. When the opportunity came, and your partner's manipulation and abuse no longer frightened you into staying, you broke up with them. You filed a restraining order with the help of Higuruma, and soon after, your stress was practically non-existent.
After that relationship, you weren’t eager to get back into the dating pool. You told yourself that focusing on work would be the best thing for you, but as time went on, that was difficult to do because of Higuruma. You both were extremely close, so you noticed things about him that others didn’t, and what caught your eye was his behaviour towards you. He had always been kind to you, but some time after your breakup, his kindness came off far more affectionate than usual. At first, you paid no mind to it, just assuming this was his way of trying to help you get over your breakup, but it became apparent that this wasn’t the only case. You acted oblivious to his actions, yet soon enough, you found yourself growing fond of him. Frightened by the thought of experiencing something similar to your old relationship, you hid your feelings from him. You kept your feelings hidden and kept up your clueless act for a while, but soon that facade came crashing down.
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Today was a chaotic day at the law firm. It was early in the morning, and case files were stacked high on your desk already. With a laboured sigh, you sat in your swivel chair and started going through the papers. You only flicked through the files for a few minutes before something grabbed your attention. A large hand rested gently on your shoulder, making you jump slightly and look up at who was touching you. Your lips immediately curled into a smile when your eyes met your best friend's.
“It’s a bit early for scaring people, don’t you think, Hiro?”
You asked Higuruma. He smiled down at you softly, chuckling a bit at your response.
“I didn’t mean to, just stopping to say hey and drop this off.”
He responded as he handed you a cup of coffee. Your smile widened as you took the cup into your hands and took a sip. You sighed in relief as the liquid warmed your body and gave you some well-needed energy. On days when he came in before you, he always made you a cup of coffee just the way you liked.
“ Mmm..You’re too good to me, you know. Thanks, Hiro.”
“ Of course, if you need any help, come find me, okay?”
Your initial response to him was to tell him you could handle this workload, but the feeling of his grip tightening slightly on your shoulder stopped the words from coming out. His hand remained on your shoulder this entire time, yet your mind forgot. Your eyes quickly glanced to his hand, then back at Higuruma, who was still looking at you. A faint hue of red flushed your cheeks when your eyes met his. His gaze was always tired, but when he looked at you, he looked lively. It was something that you didn’t pick up on at first, but now it was hard to ignore. Right before your casual look turned to a stare, you nodded and got back to your work. He gave your shoulder one last squeeze, then parted ways to go back to work. That was just one of his many affectionate instances with you today. Throughout the day, he’d stop by your desk, making casual conversation or offering his help. It wasn’t unlike him to do these things with you; you were best friends after all, but you could see right through him. You knew why he let his hand linger on your skin, why his eye never seemed to drift far from your face when you both conversed. He developed feelings for you and did a poor job of hiding them. Anyone else who knew him would write his behaviour as normal, but you knew him all too well. Today, unlike other days, his affection had a stronger effect on you. Usually, you could hide your true feelings well, but each touch and the sound of your name on his lips slowly chipped away at your facade.
The day was long and tiresome, but Higuruma’s check-ins made the day a little more bearable. As the workday came to an end, you rested your head on your desk, loose papers and folders surrounding you as you took a short break before heading out. You often stayed late at work, and today was no different, but you stayed far later than you had thought, thanks to the mountain of work you had to finish. The office was practically empty aside from a few coworkers and, of course, Higuruma. He always worked late, no matter the day; it was so unlike him to leave early, and on days when he did, those around the office would worry. He was passionate about his work, and that was one of the many things you liked about him. His passion and encouragement towards you were the main reasons you decided to work alongside him. The memories of you and him back in high school flooded your mind as your short rest turned into a nap.
You slept peacefully against your desk till your mind realized you were asleep. Once the realization set in, you quickly picked your head up, wiping away the small streak of slobber on your chin and fixing your hair. When you opened your eyes, you were met with a dimly lit office vacant of all people. You sat up fully, ready to gather your things and head home, but the feeling of something on your shoulders stopped you. You reached for your shoulders and pulled the thing off. It looked like a blazer, deep black in colour and with a small yet noticeable sunflower pin. The blazer belonged to Higuruma, yet he was nowhere to be found. He must have put this on me while I was asleep, you thought to yourself quietly. You stared down at it, letting your fingers drag against it as you fought the strong and sudden urge to smell it. Your face flushed pink at the thought, but curiosity got the best of you, and when the coast was clear, you brought his blazer to your face and took his scent. It was a warm yet familiar smell, hints of a light yet addictive musk mixed with citrus. He smelled clean, untouched by smoke or sweat. The blazer remained pressed against your face as your lungs filled with his scent. Guilt set in your stomach for doing something so strange, yet with each inhale, you found it harder to stop. You sank into your chair, attempting to hide yourself as if someone was watching you. Soon enough, you found out someone wasn’t watching you, but someone was still in the office.
Soft steps echoed down a nearby hallway, alerting you and making you slam his blazer down on your desk. With brightened cheeks, you stared at the hallway until the person made their presence known. It was Higuruma, unsurprisingly. It made the most sense that he, of all people, would be here at this late hour. He was in the doorway, his sleeves rolled up to his elbows and his hair a little messier than its usual state. You both stared at one another quietly for a minute before he broke the silence.
“Enjoyed your nap?”
He said softly, a slight hint of amusement in his tone as he walked towards you, his tired eyes trained on you. You looked away, clearing your throat and straightening your hair as he approached. Embarrassment filled your soul at the thought of Higuruma catching you sniffing his blazer. You sank deeper into your chair, then nodded your head, trying to hide your flustered expression as best you could.
“Yeah…didn’t mean to stay in so late. I should head home.”
You said, standing up from your chair and gathering up your things. While you did that, he walked closer and closer till he stood right behind you, hands tucked in his pockets as he watched you quietly. You could feel his eyes watching your every move; it wasn’t like him to stare, but when it came to you, you were the exception. You continued putting your things in your bag, acting oblivious to his presence, till you grabbed his blazer.
“Oh, here, thanks for putting it on me, Hiro.”
You said, smiling, as you turned around and handed it to me. Those tired eyes softened, and his lips curled into a small smile. He reached out and grabbed the blazer, not taking it from your hands yet. His fingers rested against your hand, lingering there as if he didn’t notice, but something told you he did. He glanced down at your hands, then looked back at you with the same smile.
“I’m clocking out for tonight; let me walk you home.”
He offered. He walked you home most nights, but something about his offer made your heart race. Maybe it was from the proximity. The soft look he gave you in this moment. Or maybe it was the fact that he had yet to move his hand away from yours. His fingers remained there, lightly brushing against your skin and sending a warm sensation through your palm. You acted as if you didn’t notice it, but the redness in your face and stiff shoulders told him otherwise. After a minute had passed, you nodded with a smile, mildly flustered but glad he offered to walk you. Finally, he took his blazer and threw it on. You both spent the next few minutes to finish up anything else you had to do in the office before meeting each other by the front door.
As expected for the late hour, it was quiet but peaceful. The streets weren’t busy, and if it weren’t for the occasional person strolling by, you’d be convinced that you and Higuruma were the only people in the world. You both walked side by side, Higuruma walking on the street side of the sidewalk like always. The walk to your place was relatively short, but it felt longer because of the long pauses of silence. You’d both fill it when a topic came up, but for most of the walk, it was quiet. What lingered in your mind as you walked was your feelings about Higuruma. You told yourself that staying single was the best option for now, but he made that more difficult than you thought. You were developing feelings, but suppressed them out of fear. You knew he had strong feelings towards you and would never hurt you, but no matter how much your heart yearned, you kept your feelings a secret. You couldn’t help but sneak a few glances at him, wondering what was on his mind, why he started taking a liking to you again, and just to admire his features. Your frequent glances wouldn’t go unnoticed for too long. When you took another look at him, he looked back, a soft, unbothered expression on his face in contrast to your wide-eyed expression. You immediately looked away, tugging at your collar as if nothing had happened. Thankfully, before the situation could feel any more awkward, you both arrived at your place.
“Thanks for walking me home; I appreciate it.”
“Of course, have a good night.”
He said warmly as you patted his shoulder before walking up to your door. You grabbed the doorknob but didn’t unlock it. It was late, and you were worn from the tiresome day, but for a reason you wouldn’t admit aloud, you didn’t want him to go yet. You didn’t want to be alone. You turned around, expecting him to be walking off, but he, too, was standing motionless. When your eyes met, no words were exchanged at first, just soft looks at one another as if you both didn’t want to part ways. So, instead of ignoring this feeling, you listened to it.
“ I know it’s late, but would you want to come in and have a drink?”
When the question left your lips, your face brightened with embarrassment. You were borderline ashamed to ask him to stay; it wasn’t unlike you both to hang out alone after work, but knowing your developing feelings were the reason you wanted him to stay made your heart race and your head spin. You watched him quietly, nipping the skin of your lip slightly to try and calm yourself as you anxiously waited for his response. Unlike you, he remained completely calm, but his calmness couldn’t hide the pink hue that brushed his features. That subtle blush on his cheeks made your heart falter. If he had been any closer, you were positive he could hear your heartbeat.
“Sure, I can spare a few more minutes.”
He replied, walking toward you with a soft smile. When he agreed, you finally unlocked the door and stepped inside. You kept your face forward to hide the deep red on your cheek as you turned on the lights in your home.
“You can sit in the living room, and I’ll get the drinks. You still like beer, huh?”
You asked playfully as you headed towards the kitchen while he went to the living room.
“Yeah, haven’t had a drink in ages, honestly.”
He admitted, taking his blazer off and resting it on the arm of the couch. Once you stepped into the kitchen, you leaned against the counter, the true gravity of this hitting you like a truck. Your breath quickens, and your hand rests on your chest. You didn’t invite him in for a friendly drink; your heart wanted more than that. It wanted him. You tried over and over to convince yourself that these feelings were temporary, but that proved to be wrong. Your fear kept you single, but your desire to be with him made that fear diminish with each passing day. You cursed yourself under your breath, feeling embarrassed but also eager. Before your quietness drew his attention, you quickly grabbed two beers from your fridge and headed towards the living room. Just before entering, however, you took a moment to calm down. If you met him in this state, you were sure he’d ask far too many questions. You took a few deep breaths, and when the red that stained your cheeks lessened, you entered the living room with a smile. He was sitting on the couch, one leg crossed over the other, with his arms crossed over his chest.
“Here we are! I knew I had some in there. Hope this brand is to your liking, Hiro.”
“ Thanks, come sit already.”
He said playfully, trying to mask just how much he wanted you near him. You nodded to his response and joined him, sitting on the opposite end of the couch. It was quick and subtle, but a small frown grazed his lips. You wanted to sit closer to him, and you had a feeling he wanted you closer too, but to keep your urges under wraps, you kept your distance.
You both cracked open the beers and began to drink. You took a few sips, then sighed in relief. After the day you had, you definitely needed this. He, too, apparently. He took a few hefty sips of his beer while you turned on the TV to fill the silence. Soon after, you both found yourselves tuning the TV out and chatting with one another. You were lightweight when it came to alcohol. After the first few sips hit your system, you loosened up and began filling the silence with stories. Any thought that came to mind quickly came out of your mouth, and like always, Higuruma happily listened. Higuruma could handle his alcohol quite well, but even so, he too was a little more chatty than usual. You both exchanged conversations and many laughs, and the more you talked, the closer you moved towards him. You told yourself you wouldn't get too close to him, but something about his laid-back exterior always drew you in, and now that you were tipsy, you didn't bother to keep your distance. Inch by inch, you moved closer to him till there was barely an inch of space between you both. You were ready to turn in earlier, but now sleep was an afterthought. Why would you want to sleep when you could be up with him?
Time was passing by, but neither of you cared; all you wanted was to be in his presence and vice versa. That fact became glaringly obvious. When the conversations began to die down, you pulled back from Higuruma. His slightly messier hair, the relaxed sound in his voice, and the soft look in his eyes pulled you in even further. So much so that any sensible thought fled your mind, and your body acted on its own. You leaned towards him till your lips pressed gently against his. Your lips curled into a soft smile as you hummed into the kiss, but the moment of bliss only lingered for a moment. Just as quickly as the kiss happened, your senses came flooding back, and the kiss ended. You pulled back, covering your mouth while looking at him with a terrified look on your face. You told yourself you wouldn’t do something like this; you told yourself over and over again that you wouldn’t give in to your feelings, yet the moment that alcohol went past your lips, you forgot about it. You were filled with so much embarrassment and shame that you couldn’t look him in the eyes after that kiss. If you did, you would’ve seen his love-struck expression. You would’ve seen how his lips parted in awe from the kiss and the way any trace of hardness in his gaze dissolved. You tucked your face into your hands and rose from the couch, not paying any mind to the man in front of you.
“Fuck fuck fuck I-I shouldn’t have done that. You should go. I had too much to drink.”
You said. Your voice muffled by your hands as you stood behind the couch. He immediately stood up and went to your side. His hand rested on the small of your back, rubbing small circles to soothe you.
“It’s okay. You don’t need to apologize...I’ve honestly wanted to kiss you for so long...”
He admitted softly, his hands grabbing your hips gently and turning your body towards him. Even after he made you face him, you didn’t look at him; you couldn’t. Your heart raced, your lungs tightened, and your drunken mind sobered up almost immediately. Your hands remained pressed against your face, but you took a step forward, leaning against his chest as embarrassment coursed through your veins. Then you felt his hands. They gently grabbed your wrists and pried your hands away from your face. Though you wanted to hide your brightened face, you didn’t bother to fight back, so you moved your hands and hesitantly looked at him. His cheeks were almost as bright as yours, and his eyes were soft yet full of emotion. It made your heart stir, almost making you give in to your true feelings, but you fought the urge once again.
"I've liked you for so long… Every day I regret letting you go; I wish I had held onto you tighter. Seeing you with your ex only made my heart yearn for you more. I was envious that they were your partner and I wasn’t.”
He confessed. He may have been tipsy, but there was no shake in his words while he spoke. No slurs in his speech. No tremble in his tongue. He was confident and honest; no amount of alcohol could make his confession sound like a lie. You knew of his feelings, yet hearing him confess them only made your heart race faster. No longer could you hide just how deeply you wished to intertwine with his mind, body, and soul.
"I was hesitant to ask you out again because of your last relationship, and I wasn’t sure you liked me back, but now I’d like to ask y-”
He continued, but you stopped him. You pressed your hand against his lips, gently silencing him.
“I…I do like you. I like you so much…But I don’t think I can… I-”
You replied, but the words got caught in your throat. As deeply as you wanted him, the anxieties of your previous relationship crept up your spine like a chilling breeze. You knew he wouldn’t hurt you. You knew him well enough to know just how gently he would love you, yet no amount of knowing could cease the anxiety that clung to you like wet clothes. You looked away, your hands trembling as you wondered if you should pursue him. Your hand remained pressed against his lips as you thought, trying to sort out your thoughts and feelings. Then suddenly you felt his lips kissing your palm. He placed his hand over yours and kissed your hand, pulling you out of your mind and back to reality. Warmth blossomed in your soul as you turned back to him, looking at him with widened doe eyes. His eyes met yours, and he didn't dare look away. You didn't think this moment could get more intense, but he took things a step further. He moved your hand from his lips to his cheek, then dropped to his knees in front of you, his eyes still fixed on you. You gasped, your body freezing up in shock as you watched him kneel before you, like a knight before his ruler.
“Hiro, I-”
You went to protest, yet he cut you off.
"I'm not them. I would never hurt you, physically or emotionally. Let me prove it to you. I don't just want to be your friend. I want to be your provider. Your lover. Something more than this...Can I be that for you? Please…?”
He begged, pressing his cheek into the palm of your hand as he looked up at you, his eyes showing just how much he needed you. How much he was willing to do for you. How much you mattered to him. You've seen many looks from him, but this was otherworldly. Never has he made your heart race like this. He didn't just speak to you; he spoke to your heart, the deepest part of you that wished to be loved and cared for tenderly. His words calmed the conflicts of your mind, making it possible to think straight. You received his message, yet were you ready to reciprocate? Many things in life were risky. You were far too familiar with taking risks, especially since you worked with Higurma. A man who took many risks and handled many difficult cases so that someone he didn't know would have a fair chance. One thing you've learned from working with him is that even if things seem hopeless, some risks are worth taking. And in this case, he was a risk you were willing to take. You might have your worries lingering in your mind, but you knew if anyone could silence them and show you just what you deserved, it was him. Small tears welled in your eyes as a smile crept onto your face. You sniffled softly while nodding, letting your thumb stroke his cheek lovingly.
“...I’d love that, Hiro...”
You said between soft sobs. His expression brightened at your response. He kissed your hand once more, then stood up with a smile. His large hands reached forward and cupped your cheeks, pulling you even closer to him till you could feel his breath against your skin. You both stared at one another, lips slightly parted in anticipation.
“I will cherish you, I swear...”
He whispered to you just before his lips pressed against yours. Softly yet filled to the brim with passion. Instead of pulling away, pushing away your true feelings, you embraced them. You melted into his grasp, kissing him back and grabbing his collar, like you were hungry for him. He hummed happily into the kiss and matched your hunger. If it weren’t for the late hour, this kiss would've stretched on for hours, but eventually you both had to pull away. When he sobered up, Higurma parted ways, leaving your side for the night, but he left his blazer. You knew he'd never leave his things behind by accident. He wanted you to hold onto it. Hold onto a piece of him till you can hold him again. And hold you did. You crawled into your bed, clutching his blazer close to your face, relishing his intoxicatingly sweet scent. For the first time in ages, you went to sleep without conflicting feelings. Your conflicts were untangled by his words, and you were certain that letting him in, letting yourself love another, would be a risk with plenty of rewards.