Chapter Text
Ramona doesn’t visit until her Winter break. Why exactly she chooses the coldest time of the year to fly to Canada of all places, Oona isn’t quite sure. Annie visits Ramona plenty in the meantime—weekend trips, holiday visits, the whole family stays pretty well in touch. Annie even invites Oona to join once in a while, but after being shot down with some half-hearted excuse every time without fail, the invites stop. Oona knows she could still tag along if she wants to—and a few times, she does want to—but the debilitating fear clawing at her chest stops her from ever daring to say yes.
Oona isn’t sure what she’s so scared of. They were friends before dating, they could probably be friends again.
Except, they couldn’t. That bridge has been burned; Oona knows that because the thought of Ramona moving on with some annoyingly smart and probably nauseatingly pretty girl from New York pretty frequently makes her thoughts spiral and her stomach drop.
Then there’s the guilt, a completely different beast from the anxiety and fear. Who is Oona to get in the way of whatever new life Ramona is building for herself? Oona pushed her away. She broke up with her. She said some pretty unfair things because she was scared of Ramona leaving first.
Except, deep down she knew she wouldn’t. It’s why she hid from Ramona and asked Maple to lie for her. Oona knew that if Ramona saw her and talked to her, she would have stayed for her. And if she did, Oona never would have been able to live with herself.
So, she hid. Oona pushed Ramona away, and she left.
They haven’t spoken in months, but Oona has spent every waking moment of those long months missing her best friend. She’s spent months of wanting to call Ramona after every little thing, the good and the bad included. She’s also spent months of, well, not calling.
The possibility of Ramona not wanting to hear from her—or, worse, not even thinking of her at all—is too terrifying to even consider finding out.
So it’s quite the surprise when Annie returns from one of her weekend trips to New York right before Christmas with a particular short blonde in tow.
At first, Oona hides again. She makes herself scarce from public places, asking Maple to join her for movie marathons at home more often than usual. She’s thankful that, also at first, Maple doesn’t comment on it even though Oona knows she notices. So, she’s not surprised when Maple finally says something about it.
They’re watching some cheesy Hallmark movie cuddled up in bed when Maple starts giving her the third degree.
“Why are you hiding from her?” Her sister asks bluntly, head nuzzled against Oona’s shoulder as they’re watching two hopeless romantics having the most cliché conversation Oona’s heard in her life. She knew she’d regret saying yes to a romcom just for the cheesiness alone, but Maple persisted. The slight sting in Oona’s heart while watching the movie doesn’t go unnoticed.
“From who?” She plays dumb, her response far too quick and her facial expression too dramatized.
Maple doesn’t even dignify her with a verbal response. Instead, she turns her heads toward her older sister and just rolls her eyes.
Oona caves, letting out a small sigh and her voice growing much softer and quieter.
“Maple, she doesn’t want to see me.”
“You know that isn’t true.”
“I mean, I really don’t.”
“Oona, come on. Stop lying to yourself.”
Oona can feel the blood rushing to her cheeks and her face getting way too hot. Before she can stop herself, she’s pushing the computer off to the end of the bed and swinging her legs to the side, pushing up off of the sherpa blanket they were wrapped in. Maple looks a bit guilty, but she seems more curious than anything else.
“Maple, I broke up with her. I wasn’t exactly kind in doing so. Then she moved to a new and big, bright city where she has a whole new life and new friends and probably a new gir-“ Oona stops herself, her voice catching in her throat. She can’t even verbalize it—she feels pathetic. Her voice drops a bit as she tries again: “She has a whole new life now. I’m sure the last thing she wants is for her ex who practically begged her to leave and piss off to ruin her trip.”
“Then why’d she come back?”
Maple’s response is simple, but Oona can’t help but be a bit confused as she scrunches her brows ever so slightly before unscrunching them just as quickly.
“She’s,” Oona pauses, “visiting Annie.” The reply is more of a question.
“She’s seen Annie like a billion times since the Summer.”
“Okay, then she’s visiting her friends.”
“Like you?”
Oona sighs, frustrated. Maple shifts in the bed, scooting to the edge of it and sitting up.
“Just talk to her. You keep pushing her away and then getting sad about missing her,” Maple stands up. “I’m sure she misses you too.”
And with that, Maple leaves the room. It’s not more than a few seconds before Oona is throwing herself face-first back into the bed and groaning dramatically.
That kid was going to be the death of her.