Work Text:
"What is this?" a frowning Stannis asked of you, pointing at the screen of your phone and the page that you had shown him with a large, jabbing forefinger.
"It's where people make up stories between you and other people. See, look here," you pointed at the screen. "You can see who they have partnered you with, to ah... have a relationship with... in the tags here."
Scroll, scroll, scroll.
"Me and Ser Davos? And by relationship, you mean... Of the carnal variety?"
"Not always. But mostly...yes..." You smile at the tooth grinding noises that emanated from him, as he frowned at the screen.
"I see!"
Scroll, scroll, scroll.
"Jon Snow? Hmmmph!"
Scroll, scroll, scroll.
"Cersei? What! I think not!" he huffed.
"Danaerys Targeryn? She is... No no no. She is a relation! This is not King's Landing! What the fuck! It is? What other abominations lie within this portal of depravities!"
Scroll, scroll, scroll.
"Selyse... My wife! Hmmm... She seems to die rather a lot... Or to just not exist at all!"
Scroll, scroll, scroll.
"Melisandre!" His face heated at that.
"Your... See here..." you showed him. "It says that she's your 'fiery priestess'."
"I am not proud of my adultery with her. But only she knew how to send me to sleep when the nightmares caught ahold of me..."
Scroll, scroll, scroll.
"Wait! This? This is the Stark girl! Hmmph! She is a mere child!"
"No... Look... She's been 'aged up'. See?"
"Aged up? What do you mean by that?" he frowned.
"She's not a child. As most people find if she is, then that's...ah...distasteful..."
"As they should! And what is this 'May slash September'? And 'younger woman slash older man'? Look! Here!"
"It means that you are significantly older than whoever you are partnered with."
"I see... That is the norm here?"
"Sometimes. Especially for you."
"Hmmph!"
Scroll, scroll, scroll.
"Hmmmm... What did you call this again?" he pointed at the screen. "A tag?"
"Yes. A tag. It shows you all the information needed to see what's inside the story. So you won't be surprised by anything you don't like, yes?"
"I see," he nodded.
Scroll, scroll, scroll.
"What does this mean? This, here... 'this work could have adult content. If you proceed you have agreed that you are willing to see such content.' Consent? I did not consent for me to be here!"
"You kind of did, when you asked me to show you this... didn't you?"
"I cannot remember!" he huffed.
Scroll, scroll, scroll.
"Adult content?"
"Ah... Explicit things..."
"Smut! You explained that earlier! Hmmm... I see! So!"
You watched him peer closer to the screen and saw how his face reddened, while he read. "You're blushing..."
"Ha! Even Robert would blush at these, these... goings on, going on! I mean... Is that even possible... when a man is... and the other is... No! That's impossible! Or... Mayhaps...?"
He tilted his head to one side. "Ah, I see... If I move my leg there and you do that... Yes. Plausable, I suppose!"
He peered over at you, his observer, the one who had showed him this whole new world. He looked at you with one dark eyebrow raised and grinned, showing his white teeth.
"Now... Come here! Yes, you! Sit... Move... Yes... Mmmm... That's it! Hmmm... So it seems that it is possible, as they explain here! I see... I see!" His grin widened, as he peered down at you and leaned in a little closer. "Well... seeing as you are here...?"