Work Text:
It had been a gradual decision. You and Jack. He was gentle with you and the pair of you just kinda fell together. It was easy. It wasn’t messy.
Your dates were happening before either of you had realised that they were dates.
Your relationship something before either of you had felt the need to call it as such. You wanted him, and he wanted you.
So moving in together had been just as simple. You already spent all your time there, only going home when Robby came over to watch a game or you’d realised it had been more than a week since the last time that you’d seen your own living room. You’d only hung on because you still had a renter’s agreement you didn’t want to be a dick and leave your roommate hanging with half the rent missing. But then your lease had been up, and she’d got a job in Philly, so it had been something that you never really decided.
Jack had helped you move everything into his house. He’d even converted his spare room into a study/dressing room for you that you could decorate however you wanted because he was aware the house still screamed bachelor for the most part.
So the party had been your suggestion. A cementing of something.
Jack had been taken aback, but he was game for whatever you’d wanted, as always. You had gone a little overboard inviting everyone from work and combining it with the Fourth of July, meaning your entire downstairs was swathed in red, white, and blue. You’d worked your ass off catering and practically ransacked the liquor aisle at the grocery store.
Everything seemed to be going well. Everyone was fed. Everyone was decently buzzed.
You’d hit the sweet spot where the night shifters had finally made it, and no one had to race off just yet. And happy with your hard work, you retreated into the kitchen, under the guise of checking on desserts.
You were at the counter, just putting the finishing touches to the cake you’d made specially. Yellow sponge, vanilla frosting, blueberries, and strawberries, naturally. You’d just placed the last blueberry on it and took a sip of your wine, watching the hubbub out of the back window with a smile on your face.
You only pulled your attention from it when Robby appeared, offering you a smile and a questioning look.
‘Burger buns?’
‘Third cabinet from the left,’ you said. Robby nodded and moved around you, setting them on the counter a second later. You moved to grab him some butter, returning and placing it on the counter beside him as he grabbed a plate and set to work.
You’d just started slicing the strawberries getting ready to place them neatly on your cake. You could feel Robby watching you after every slice was buttered, eyes flitting to yours but not sticking when you looked over. Like he always did.
'Place looks nice,’ he offered quietly after a while.
‘Yeah?’ you asked.
‘Yeah, you’ve decorated,’ he commented.
‘Not much. Just enough to tone down Jack’s whole ultra-masculine thing,’ you mused.
‘Mmm,’ was all he offered.
You went quiet, silently slicing for a second.
‘Are you ever gonna tell him?’
Your hand stilled, knife resting against the cutting board. You felt Robby’s eyes on you. Not the knife. On your face. Like he always did. Like you always pretended not to notice.
‘Robby,’ you sighed, placing the knife down.
‘Are you?’ he pressed.
‘What?’ you said, looking at him.
‘You know what,’ he said.
‘That we slept together?’ you said bluntly. Robby bristled.
‘That you fucked his best friend-’
‘Before I even knew him!’ you reasoned.
‘So?’
‘So, you think Jack’s told me everyone he’s ever slept with before?’ you scoffed, moving closer, your voice dropping, ‘you think that we know everything about each other-’
‘You should,’ Robby said scathingly.
‘In what world-’
But then Mel entered, looking between you two as you pulled apart quickly. You’d gotten closer than you’d anticipated but you plastered on a smile as you said, ‘are you okay?’
‘Um…bathroom?’ Mel asked.
‘Down the hall to the left,’ you said. Mel nodded and toddled off down the hall, and you went back to slicing. You could feel him still watching you, angrily buttering the rest of the buns until Mel returned, offering a nervous smile before she darted back outside.
‘He deserves to know,’ he said quietly.
‘Why? It didn’t mean anything,’ you reasoned.
‘Now you’re lying to yourself as well as Jack?’
You’d told yourself it hadn’t. It had barely been anything. You’d just moved to Pittsburgh and knew no one. A couple days before you’d started at PMTC you’d gone out trying to make friends or celebrate and had met him in a bar. He’d been celebrating too, a three-month sabbatical. You’d never asked where from. It was one night.
Or at least you’d thought so, one and done. Someone you’d never see again.
You’d met Jack and Jack had been easy. You’d started dating.
And then Robby had come back. Smack bang in the middle of your life. Jack’s best friend. Your boss.
And suddenly it hadn’t been as open and shut as you’d hoped. You didn’t know why he pulled at you. You’d never crossed the line after that. You loved Jack. But Robby just had this thing. This chaos that burned bright and stupid in your mind.
It made you do things like stare at his lips when he looked at you. As he moved closer you swallowed thickly, flitting your eyes north as you declared, ‘I’m not lying.’
‘Aren’t you?’
‘Sin of omission,’ you said, ‘not a lie.’
‘Same thing,’ he replied.
‘Says you.’
‘Says Jack I reckon.’
You swallowed again. Because that was the thing. You knew you could tell him, probably should tell him. You knew that he would want to know. But you knew it would change things. Not so much the sex, which had happened before you’d even met, and Jack was sensible enough to know that he couldn’t be mad at you for that.
But not saying anything? Having Robby over for so many game nights without a word? Working alongside him?
You weren’t sure that was going to be so easy to explain.
When you didn’t say anything, Robby scoffed, grabbed the plate full of burger buns, and headed for the back door.
‘Please don’t tell him,’ you murmured quietly. You didn’t want to beg. You’d spent the best part of a year pretending that none of this meant anything. It’s why you hadn’t chased Jack at first, you had just let things happen. You loved him deeply, but you’d always given yourself an out. You had never chased. You had pretended that the Robby shaped hole in your relationship, that he didn’t even know was there didn’t mean anything. But you knew you were on borrowed time. That if you didn’t tell him, Robby would.
‘If you don’t tell him I will,’ he promised.
‘I know,’ you whispered.
When he left, he was replaced by Dana and Princess, chasing more wine that you happily obliged with. You listened to the chatter as you started placing strawberries on your cake. You didn’t let the smile slip for a second. You poured another glass and joined in with the chatter as if your whole world wasn’t balancing on a knife-edge.
You’d let yourself have tonight. You’d tell Jack tomorrow.