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“Haibara you take forever, the line is probably ten kilometers long by now" Satoru drawled from the car he was melting alive, in because the weather was super-hot.
A new waterslide park had just opened right outside of Tokyo and Haibara being the lovely friend he is, decided it would be a great idea for all his friends to meet up and spend the day there.
Everyone was initially opposed to the idea, since tickets were a hassle, and they were probably going to have to wait ten years to even step one foot inside the park and even if they got inside, every ride was going to have a billion children lining up for it, Overall waterslide parks were not a big hit.
But by a lot of bribery and fake promises, Satoru's three closest friends and him sat in Nanami's car on their way to the waterslide park. The car was stuffed with umbrellas, hats, towels and other essentials that were necessary to survive a day at the waterslide park.
Because he lost a bet to Haibara, Satoru himself was sandwiched between Utahime's beach chair and fucking Utahime herself. Which was stupid because Satoru couldn't tolerate Utahime for 5 minutes, so he would never be able to tolerate her stupid shitself the entire car ride.
Utahime was applying some sunscreen, and he was already feeling claustrophobic (or maybe it was just Utahimephobic) and they hadn't even left Nanami's garage. "Utahime move over, your fatass is taking up half the backseat."
The look on her face was worth the insult, "who are you calling fat Gojo, I literally wouldn't be touching you if you sat normally for once in your life, not with your legs fucking spread taking up three quarters of the fucking car!"
She scowled at him forming wrinkles in her forehead, "You look ugly when your angry, just letting you know" he winked.
Scowling even more now Utahime said "I wouldn't have to be angry if you didn't piss me off so much." Satoru faked looking sorry, pouting his lips "Oh, I'm sorry my bad, I forgot you're not only ugly when your angry, your ugly 24/7 HAHA."
She threw her sunscreen at him while positively fuming at the insult, she looked like she was about to go off at him about how she wouldn't put up with his bullshit blah blah blah and why she's even friends with him blah blah blah blah. When suddenly Haibara finally found his goggles and burst through the door, bless his soul because Satoru could now avoid Utahime's rant.
"Guys I found them! Let's set off now!" Haibara said with that ever-cheerful smile that convinced them to go to this hell in the first place.
"Thank the lords Haibara, I was about kill myself because Gojo wouldn't shut the fuck up!" Nanami grumbled from the front seat and reversed out of the driveway.
Oh yeah Satoru forgot Nanami was in the car, he should've said something if he was getting pissed off. "Nanamin I forgot you were in the car! You should've said something, then I could've protected you from Utahime's ugliness."
Nanami shook his head as Utahime protested "HEY YOU LITTLE SHI- Ugh you know what never mind you're not worth my time, I could be texting Shoko right now and instead I'm talking to you" She put in headphones and obviously went to text Shoko, who apparently was her friend, Crush, Girlfriend and Wife all at the same time, like make up your mind bitch.
"Hey guys no fighting! Let's all just have a great time. TO THE WATERSLIDE PARK NANAMI!!" Haibara said with four times the enthusiasm that Satoru had, geez what was this guy on. He must have a secret to this energy, because no one is naturally this happy all the time.
But whatever Haibara was on was a mystery for another time because Satoru had realized his impending doom the minute, he said yes to the waterslide trip idea.
Satoru didn't swim, he wouldn't swim, he couldn't swim. So, the fact they were going to a waterslide park said a lot about his sense of self preservation. So, he was trying to devise a plan that would make sure he was FAR far away from the water but still could have fun with his friends.
He wasn't coming up with many ideas since Nanami and Haibara we're part of the swim club and he just knew Utahime could swim she had done, what was it? Synchro or something. Whatever it was, it involved SWIMMING AND SATORU COULDN'T SWIM.
They'd be all having fun going down waterslides into the nice cool water while Satoru was stuck burning and being bored sitting on hot crusty daybeds, next to mums that had crying babies or wrinkly old ladies trying to get a tan.
"And we're here everyone!" Haibara announced as they entered through an arch that said "AQUATOPIA" In bright blue letters. SHIT, he hadn't thought of a fool proof plan yet to avoid swimming. HE WAS GOING TO MAKE A FOOL OUT OF HIMSELF AND DROWN!!! IN FRONT OF WHOLE BUNCH OF SIX YEAR OLDS THAT COULD PROBABLY SWIM BETTER THAN HIM.
Oh, God this was a nightmare. Well, he might as well wing it and see what happens. The worst-case scenario was that he drowned, and they named a waterslide after him in his memory. Not that bad, when you think about it.
After parking, waiting in line for 40 minutes, checking in with their tickets, Nanami reapplying their sunscreen and finding a spot to put their stuff. His friends were ready to go beast mode on the waterslides, and Satoru was, well Satoru was ready to die but his friends didn't need to know that.
"Which one did you guys wanna go on first!" Haibara asked as they surveyed the multiple waterslide options, there was one called the "gentle tide" that looked nice enough he saw a lot of babies on that one though, percentage of surviving on the gentle tide was maybe 90%.
Then there was about five of these twisty turny ones, but they weren't that steep, a lot of pre-teens went on those ones, they had names like riptide, ocean crush, whirlpool, wave crasher. Percentage of surviving was about 60%.
And then Satoru's gaze fell on the almighty God forsaken slide the Tsunami. Standing at 40 meters in the air it had only one straight tube coming from the top straight down to the ground, no slope just straight down.
Apparently, it was called the Tsunami because a massive wave would appear when you hit the bottom. Wow, uhm Satoru knew the chances of surviving the Tsunami was around 0% so he was gonna come out and tell his friends he couldn't swim now, before he actually died.
Unfortunately like the sick motherfucker Utahime was she said "Wait that one actually looks so cool! Wanna slide down that one guys?" UHM NO UTAHIME COULDN'T YOU SEE THE LOOK ON HIS FACE WAS ONE OF DESPERATION, DESPERATE TO NOT GO ON THE TSUNAMI! C'MON HAIBARA SAY NO PLEASE!
Haibara flickered his gaze over to the Tsunami and his face lit up "That's what I'm talking about! Let's go straight away! :)" NO WAY, HIS LAST HOPE WAS NANAMI PLEASE HAVE COMMON SENSE NANAMI!
"Yea sure I'm cool with that one, what about you Gojo?" Nanami said because that man was one sick traitor. He couldn't say no because even Nanami didn't say no and Nanami always said no!
So instead of admitting to his fear of drowning Satoru said "Hell yeah! I wanna go down that one! Race you slowpokes to the entrance!" Sticking his tongue out at them as he started to run towards his death, God he was going to die. Well so be it, at least he'll go out in style. Death by Tsunami will sound cool on his Tombstone anyway.
He reached the steps and started to sprint through the flights that lead up to the top of the slide, Utahime, Nanami and Haibara eating his dust.
He made it to the top and looked down on the rest of the park, they seemed peaceful down there having fun, well too bad because they would soon be interrupted by an emergency ambulance crew trying to save his life and police investigating his cause of death. Maybe he could say Utahime pushed him.
Surprisingly there was no one else at the top of the tower, like he understood why no children would be up here because duh who would force their children to go on this monstrosity but there should be a lifeguard because this slide is dangerous as fuck.
He peered down and saw Haibara, Nanami and Utahime at the bottom but they were walking it would take them like five minutes to reach the base and the five minutes to reach the top, which gave Satoru ten minutes to write his will.
He was about to start carving his will into the concrete floor something that said "Utahime's fault." when a masculine voice interrupted him "Uhm excuse me, sorry to bother you but are you going to go down the slide or continuing scratching at the floor?" Damn that voice was sexy.
Satoru turned around to come face to face with a lifeguard, so they did have lifeguards up here, huh figures.
And God damn that lifeguard was fine as fuck, he had broad shoulders and abs sculpted out of marble and he was wearing those sexy lifeguard shorts. Oh God and his face, his jawline was unreal, and those dark eyes, Satoru would willingly be consumed by those dark eyes. Even his man bun, which was a conventionally unattractive thing, was SEXY.
Feeling his face flush Satoru quickly looked away from the sexy lifeguard and to the gaping hole of the slide he needed to go down. "Uhm yeah I was planning to, just waiting for the lifeguard to show up. By the way where were you mister lifeguard, not doing your job I suppose?"
He chuckled; it was a sexy chuckle, was anything about this man not sexy as fuck. "Hah well we were doing a shift change and no one barely comes up here, so I took my time. Sorry to keep you waiting your free to go down now."
"Yeah, you did keep me waiting. Anyway, I'm just waiting for some friends to come up then we'll go down together." Satoru said.
"Mhm you sure you're not scared." The mystery stranger said. Damn this guy was good, Satoru thought, did he really look that scared. "FYI Mister- wait what's your name mister lifeguard." Because he did really wanna know this guy's name so he could stalk him on the internet, if he survived the Tsunami that is.
"Hah that's not important." He said smiling. "It so is!" Satoru countered. "Whose name am I going to scream for help when I'm drowning!" He chuckled again. "Fine I'm Suguru Geto."
It was a sexy name, for a sexy man. Satoru smiled "See that wasn't so hard! I'm Satoru Gojo by the way, nice to meet you Suguru" He teased.
"Very forward I see, didn't know we were on a first name basis. Do you do this to all the new people you meet?" Suguru asked eyes intently on Satoru.
"Only the sexy lifeguards." Satoru winked. Wow he was actually doing this, shamelessly flirting with a lifeguard on a tower about to go down a slide that would end his life. Welp, it couldn't be helped he never intended for the lifeguard to be this hot.
Satoru imagined Suguru would be flustered but the man just smirked at him and said, "This not how I expected our conversation to go Satoru" Oh good lordy lord, Satoru felt his soul and all the self-respect he had just levitate out of his body. That was sexy and Satoru was down bad.
He was just going to have to come right out and ask it, "Your hot as fuck Suguru, can I have your number?" His face flustered and hot from the confession, Satoru vowed that if Suguru said no he would throw himself down the Tsunami in embarrassment.
"Sure-" OH SHIT HE SAID YES! HELL, YEAH SATORU WASN'T GOING DOWN THE TSUNAMI NOW! HE COULDN'T RISK DYING BEFORE HIM AND SUGURU'S FIRST DATE. "If you manage to go down this slide without screaming."
Satoru's happiness deflated. Oh, shit he had done it now, if didn't have to go down the Tsunami before he sure did now. Because between Suguru and life, he'd pick the man he'd only known for like seven minutes.
The moment had come, Satoru vs the Tsunami, who would win (probably the Tsunami). He was scared he admitted it, and he was shaking. But it was now or never so he was about to throw himself down the slide when he felt someone get onto the slide behind him. It was Suguru.
"Hah! What are you doing here, you're the lifeguard aren't you supposed to stay up here and watch." He didn't know how but he knew Suguru smiled at that. "Shhh trust me no one comes up here, and how else am I gonna make sure you don't scream." Right. Satoru had to focus on not screaming and not drowning otherwise his life would be over. Okay here goes nothing.
Suguru said "Here I'll give you a boost! Here we go!!" He felt two strong hands shove his back into the slide and down he went the last thing he heard was Suguru laughing. Which he supposed was a pretty good last sound to hear.
His vision was blurry, and the tunnel was dark, and the water was cold but so far so good. It was actually relaxing just floating down the tunn- HOLY SHIT HE JUST DROPPED. OH MY GOD OH MY GOD HE WAS ACTUALLY GOING TO DIE. SATORU PLUMMETED STRAIGHT TO THE GROUND LIKE A BULLET AND SCREAMED HIS FUCKING LUNGS OUT, SO MUCH FOR SUGURU'S NUMBER.
HE DESPERATELY TRIED TO CLAW ONTO THE WALLS OF THE SLIDE BUT THEY WERE TOO SLIPPERY TO GET A HOLD, ANYTHING TO SLOW HIS FALL AND CHANGE HIS IMPENDING DOOM. WATER SPLASHED IN HIS FACE GETTING IN HIS MOUTH AND HIS LUNGS, HE STARTED CHOKING AND THEN HE HIT THE BOTTOM...
Satoru shot into the water out of the slide straight to the bottom of the pool, and shit it was like a seven-meter-deep pool. He could see the surface clearly, but Satoru couldn't fucking swim.
All he could do was try desperately to move his arms and get himself to the top of the water. But it wasn't working, he was sinking deeper and deeper into the water and his vision started to get blurry and his lungs were getting tight.
He needed to breathe, to live, to see his friends again, to see Suguru- He couldn't think any more as he lay at the bottom of the pool, he thought he started going towards the light when a big shadow blocked it. Guess he was going to hell than. The last thing he thought before becoming unconscious was that someone was holding him while he died.
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Beep ----——--Beep----------- Beep
The first thing Satoru heard was a monitor, the first thing he saw was a sexy man drawing on his arm. Was he in heaven?
No, it was Suguru. Hey, Suguru was in his room drawing on his arm, while he lay in a hospital, how bizarre was that. Wait that means he's alive! HE'S ALIVE. HE FUCKING SURVIVED THE TSUNAMI! FUCK YEAH! Phew he really thought he was a goner when he went unconscious in the water, how the fuck did he survive though?
I'll ask Suguru he thought. "Hey Suguru" he asked but his voice came out quiet and pathetic, but still Suguru heard. Turning his head faster than Satoru plummeted to death on the Tsunami, Suguru saw his eyes open and sighed with relief. "You fucking idiot you scared me to death. Why did you go down that fucking slide if you couldn't fucking swim! Did you know how worried I was- ah God damnit forget it your just really stupid."
Satoru stared at the ceiling processing Suguru's words; he got the feeling he was on some deep pain medication because the ceiling started swirling with colors of blue and black, huh. He felt himself slipping into an unconscious state, so he asked before his consciousness was gone,
"Did I at least get your number?"
"Yes Satoru, I wrote it on your Arm."
"Oh, ... cool."
"You have a date next Thursday."
"Oh, ... cool."
Suguru sighed "You're not yourself right now, so be better by next Thursday Ok." And released Satoru's hand that Satoru didn't know he was holding until right then. "Ok." Suguru turned to leave when Satoru said "Suguru ... Will you be here when I wake up?" "... Of course, Satoru"