Work Text:
sorry, im sorry.
i messed up again.
i used the wrong treatment
for that innocent paitent.
please just yell at me now.
stop acting so calm
i know you hate me for this,
or im just being stupid now.
im sorry, sorry
i want to yell sorry to them
but they just rise their glasses up
and tell me to check the cameras
and be more careful.
why, secretary?
what did i do to deserve your kindness?
you must hate me now
because you found out who i am.
sorry, again
thats the third time i said that.
i ate the paitent
that was in room 8.
they looked concerned,
thinking id to it to them
but they just walked away,
with no anger in their tone at me
theyre probably disappointed
why dont they just shoot me?
why, secret agent?
why would you treat me so kindly
knowing what i am?
alas, they can speak about what they feel
and i cant.
i wish i were better,
knowing theyre trying so hard
im sorry, again...
i messed up the 2nd paitent this time.
please take away this responsibility from me
i know ill mess it up for you all.
i thought nurse and her would be mad
and push me from this job
but they just said,
"youll learn next time"
how, head nurse?
how would i learn, knowing im the species you have to kill?
it feels like pity.
why would i want pity?
nurse, who do you talk about,
saying "its okay!"
you know its not
i just messed it up again
she probably thinks i did it on purpose.
sorry...
i dont deserve saying that word,
i wasted his time again.
for a session i never deserved.
he knows im an anomaly
why is he so kind?
i dont deserve it.
i deserve to kill myself
i dont deserve this job.
i deserve to go to hell knowing what kind of monster i am
but what did i do?
i know what i did
i hate making excuses like that in my mind.
i seriously dont know though.
they dont even hate me
i messed up, sure,
but i dont deserve that
right?