Work Text:
Seeing your friend fall into the deep hole that is addiction
Chapter 1/?
On a random weekend you ask her to hang out. But she says she’s already with some friends , normally she would tell you wich friends but this time she doesn’t. You don't notice that until later . At night you decide to go for a walk around the village .
You see some teenagers drinking but you can’t make out who they are . You need to make a decision , walk around them or walk straight through their drinking circle . You decide to walk around them and take a longer route home . Then it hits you what if i know those people ? What would you even do if somebody tells you they started drinking in middle school ? You cant find an answer to your question . Then you start asking more questions , what if they die because of alcohol poisoning, what if their parents find out and ask you for details ?
But thats just hypothetical right ? That wont happen , right ? Your thoughts start becoming too many to process , so you start crying. You put your headphones in and make them louder than usual to blend out your thoughts .
A while later you finally get home , still thinking about those drunk teenagers . The image wont leave your mind , but why ? You don’t want to think about teenagers with an alcohol addiction. You don't want to think about addictions at all , because you’re finally clean .
Clean . What does clean mean , not hurting yourself anymore or not thinking about it anymore . Because doesn’t everyone who struggled with self harm think about it everyday ? The word clean itself is almost enough to make you relapse . But you can’t , it would disappoint your family . So you stop thinking about it , at least you try to. After more overthinking you go to sleep for good.