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Harry was covered in bruises the day Sirius Black came knocking. He remembered stiffly lying on his bed, afraid to move and worsen the pain. Or draw attention to himself. God knew what would happen if Vernon came around for round 2. Then there was a knock on the front door, a loud knock. It was followed by heavy footsteps, versions Harry had assumed.
“What is the meaning of-” his uncle started before he was cut off by a loud
“Where the fuck is he? Where the fuck is harry!”.
Harry had shot upright in his bed, wincing in pain. Someone was here? Looking for him? WHo would that be? He didn't recognise the voice. Maybe it was someone from the ministry? He doubted that, it wasn't as if someone from the ministry was coming to save him. He had learned long ago to accept that no one cared what happened to him in this house, as long as he was alive when Hogwarts started back to be the boy who lived.
“Sirius lets not yell. I told you your just making assumptions-" a third, much calmer voice said
“With love, shut the hell up moony. You heard how Lilly always talked about petunia back in school. She treated Lilly like shit! And hates wizards! And don't you remember that look and Dumbledore's face when we asked about Harry? And think of James moony, he would be pissed if he knew that his son was living with these muggles instead of us like he wanted him too!” the angry voice yelled. Harry was out of bed now, because this man was talking about his parents.Not only did he claim to have gone to school with his mum but apparently Harry's dad wanted him to live with the strangers.
Harry slowly opened his door, glad that Vernon hadn't locked it when he left earlier. He creeped out of his room, standing at the top of the stairs to watch the interaction. The two strangers were standing in the doorway, and Harry managed to see them past his uncle.
One of them, the one who was yelling with the angry voice, had dark hair, grown down to about his shoulders and was wearing muggle clothes, black jeans with holes in them from wear and a t-shirt with ‘david bowie’ written on it, just as worn as the jeans. They looked over a decade old. The second stranger, the calmer one, was wearing a soft sweater and jeans. But that was definitely not the most interesting part about him. No, the scars covering his body were. Although Harry couldn't see much of the man's skin due to his outfit choice, he did have multiple scars over his face. This man looked just as gentle as his voice had sounded, and Harry noticed his thumb absently stroking the hand of the angry man that was still intertwined with his.
“I dont give a fuck who you are! The boy is mine, that nutter from his school said so. So you're not taking him anywhere!" Uncle Vernon screamed, making Harry flinch violently.
“I dont give an actual fuck what you want you fucking-” the angry man started, only to be cut off by a pained sounding
“Padfoot” From the other man. And Harry knew why. Because the gentle man had locked eyes with him. And he knew exactly what he looked like right now. He had dark bruises surrounding one of his eyes from a few days ago and another black eye forming around the other from his interaction with his uncle today. His arms were covered in finger and hand shaped bruises both old and new and his knees were bruised all over. He wasn't just scrawny anymore, he was practically skeletal. Probably due to the fact that he could count on one hand the amount of times he had eaten a meal since he came to the durlys house for the summer. He looked like exactly what he was, an abused 13 year old boy.
“Harry” The angry man breathed, his voice suddenly a lot more gentle, his words shaky “Oh god harry”
“What the fuck are you doiung out of your room boy? Did I say you could leave” verson yelled, and harry shrunk back, rooted to the spot.
“What the fuck have you done to him” The angru man whispered, and when vernon didnt answer he screamed in his face “what the fuck have you done to my godson you sick bastard”
Harry flinched again, still rooted to the spot. The angry man called ‘padfoot’ kept arguing with uncle Vernon and the other man, Moony slipped his hand out of the other hand and climbed up the stairs, towards where Harry stood. He immediately stiffened.
“Hi Harry, I'm Remus. That man down there is my partner Sirius, and we were close friends of your parents. You don't have to trust us completely yet, but we really need to get you out of this house. So would you like to go into your room, and we can gather your stuff while Sirius…deals with your uncle?” Remus said softly. Harry nodded slightly, still in shock. He knew he probably looked pathetic right now, but he couldn't really find it in him to care.
Harry walked silently into his room, and Remus followed him. He went over to his closet, pulling out his Hogwarts trunk which had everything he owned in it. He always kept it packed, just in case things went too far and he needed a quick escape. Remus smiled sadly at him and went over to Hedwig's cage, picking it up and carrying the bird out.
When the two of them got back downstairs Vernon was passed out on the floor, and the other man Sirius was sliding his wand back into his pocket. Remus sighed again.
“Pads what did you do to him?” he asked, passing Hedwig's cage over to Sirius.
“Its just a sleeping charm moons, he will wake up soon enough” He said, flashing him a grin before turning to harry
“Harry, you have no idea how good it is to see you,” he said, clapping Harry on the shoulder. Harry flinched and shrunk back. Sirius' smile dropped.
“Sorry Harry. I should have asked….” He calmed his throat and smiled again “Well we best get going then. Lots to discuss once we get home”
“Home?” Harry whispers, talking for the first time. The two men smile.
“Yep Harry, home. You're going to come and live with us now, it's what your parents wanted, " Remus says with a smile. Harry frowns
“But Dumbledore said-”
“Harry Dumbledore is a right bastard who kept you from Remus and kept me in Azcaban for 12 years for a crime I did not commit. Respectfully, you should not believe any word that comes out of the fool's mouth” Sirius says and Harry's jaw drops.
“Azcaban! Why the hell are you in Azcaban!” Harry shouts, stepping away. Was this man dangerous? Was he a death eater? Was this all some foul plot by Voldemort?
“Harry, I swear to you, Sirius is safe. HE was wrongly accused of a terrible crime but he was released a few weeks ago after I begged the ministry for a trail after he was released he came to me, and we immediately started trying to get you hack” remus explained “Now im sure you have many many questions and although I would love to answer them, its best if we get going. Now if you grab onto me or Sirius I can appreciate us back home, ok?”
Harry nods, choosing to hold Remus' hand as they appear, the action leaving a sick feeling in his stomach. He stumbled forward, catching himself before looking around. They had appeared in a cozy living room, filled with mismatched chairs and organised mess.
“This is our cottage harry. We are in a small village just in London. This is your cottage now too hard, your home. Would you like to take a look around?” Sirius asks gently, and Harry nods, in awe. As Sirius and Remus show him around the main living space, kitchen and dining room Harry is reminded of the burrow, and how he felt his first time there. He remembered wondering how someone's house could be so messy, yet so comforting. Thinking about Ron reminds him, he must send an owl to Ron and Hermione to let them know what's happened and that he's safe. Although they don't know nearly everything that goes on in that house, they do know that it isn't the most loving environment, and they worry about him during his summers spent there.
“So downstairs is very much a communal area, Harry. You are welcome to hang out in the living room or dining room or even the kitchen, you can go anywhere you want. And the kitchen is open all the time for if you want food or drinks. The pantry and fridge are fully stocked so if you ever want to eat anything feel free, and if you want something cooked just ask one of us and we will help you. Oh and if there's anything you want us to buy just let us know” Sirius explains, yet again smiling at Harry.
“The kitchen is…always open?” Harry repeats, shocked by this information. Why would they do that? Were they worried he was going to be greedy or eat more than he deserved? God these people were strange.
“Yes harry” Remus said, with that sad smile back on his face “The kitchen is always open. You can have as much as you want. Whatever your uncle and aunt told you about food is wrong, you can eat however you like here. Now, would you like to see your room?”
Harry nods, sighing. He hopes he gets an actual room, although he knows hoping is for the stupid. Anything could be better than the cupboard under the stairs, although his box of a bedroom that he had wasn't much better.
Sirius and Remus guide him up the stairs, pointing out the door for there room (“your welcome to see us any time if we are in there harry, just remember to knock”), the bathroom that they had described as ‘his (“we have the ensuite harry, that ones just for you, your welcome to privacy here”) before finally opening up the door to his room.
Harry felt his jaw dropping again as he looked at the room that could only be described as massive compared to what he has had in the past. It has a double bed along with a huge wardrobe and a desk with shelves. He could hear Sirius saying something about going shopping for decor and new clothes but Harry couldn't hear him.
I don't deserve this. He thought I’m invading their space. He thought I was being greedy. He knew this, but there was a part of his brain, a selfish part of him that screamed to just accept it. To appreciate the safety and comfort while it lasts. SO instead he turns around and cuts of sirius with a
“Thankypu. Sirius, Remus, thank you so so much”. The couple smiles at him, their hands intertwining again
“You don't need to thank us Harry. We are your godparents, your guardians, your family and we love you so so much. We understand that it will take you a while to trust us and see us the same way but we are happy to wait, and we are not going anywhere” Sirius said, and Remus nodded. Harry felt something warm in his belly, a feeling he usually associated with returning to Hogwarts. The feeling of safety, of home. And he knew that he didn't trust these men yet. Like they said, it would take a very long time to see them as family. But maybe, just this once he would try. He would really try
***
Two months later
“Harry slow down” Sirius called from behind him, a laughing remus trailing behind.
‘Sorry pads!” Harry replied, slowing down his walking. “Im just so excited!”
“We know Harry" said Remus, catching up to him and placing a hand on his shoulder. Harry smiles up at him, then looks over at Sirius.
“You ready?” He asks, and Harry nods as the three of them push through the barrier into platform 9 and 3 quarters.
The noise immediately presses in on Harry, and he stiffens. But then he feels a hand slipping into his own, the hand of his uncle pads
“Remember what we talked about with the mind healer, about coping in crowds?” He asks and Harry nods, subconsciously slowing his breathing like the healer had instructed him too.
Dr. Lewis probably had the only requirement of living with his godparents. A week after he had moved in, moony and pads had sat him down, explaining to him that he was going to start seeing a mind healer weekly to help him work through his trauma. He had fought it at first, claiming he was fine but they had seen right through him. So he went. And his sessions surprisingly weren't that bad.
He had been diagnosed with complex PTSD, generalised anxiety disorder and major depressive disorder - three muggle disorders that he had never even heard of. He learnt that the combination of losing his parents, the abuse at the durleys, fighting dark arts and the expectations put on him as ‘the boy who lived’ were the main cause of his declining mental health, but with the right treatment he could live a normal, happy life. He learned that what he called his ‘fits’ were panic attacks, triggered by extreme anxiety. He learned that what he referred to as ‘awake nightmares’ were flashbacks caused by his PTSD and he learned that the funks he so often got in were acutely depressive episodes. But most importantly, he learned that it wasn't his fault. That his parents' death wasn't on him. That he didn't deserve to be abused by his uncle like he believed. That it was ok if he let down the wizarding community. And slowly but surely, he was getting better. Sure he still had panic attacks and flashbacks and days when he couldn't get out of bed. But now he had his godparends. He had hands rubbing his back during panic attacks and grounding voices to bring him back to the present during flashbacks. He had his uncle Moony who would brew him cups of tea and light food for days when his depression left him bedridden and his uncle pads who would watch muggle comedies with him until he managed to smile. He had his family, finally he had his family.
“Lets see if we can find Ron and hermionie” Sirius said with a smile, guiding them through the crowd of people. Sirius was rather fond of Harry's little trio, taking a liking to them after they visited for a week during the holidays. He had enjoyed talking about pranks with Ron and teasing Hermione with stories of all the trouble he got up to in school. Harry had just liked his stories that involved his parents.
“Umm Harry? Could I speak to you please? "said a familiar voice, and Harry whipped around.
“Malfoy?” Harry asked, bewildered as he stared at the blonde who he had once considered his nemesis. He believed he had matured a lot over the holidays and decided to just leave Malfoy alone this coming school year; his therapist had neglected to think of Draco's perspective and what might be going on in the boy's life to prompt his behaviour.
“Yeah, that's me,” he said with a small chuckle. “But yeah, could I just…chat with you for a minute?” he asked, his voice sounding surprisingly nervous. Harry just shrugged, and said to his guardians ‘Wait here, I will just be a minute” before walking to a secluded spot behind a pole.
“Look po- harry. I just wanted to apologise" Malfoy said, and Harry had to stop his mouth from dropping. What? “Ive been a right dick over the past few years and I..I was terrible to you harry. When my mum told me that our relative Sirius black was out of Azkaban and you were living with him, I was curious. I knew you lived with those muggles, and I wanted to know why you would rather live with the man accused of murdering your parents than the relative I was so sure spoiled you. So I did some eavesdropping on my mum and some of her friends, who were gossiping about the state you were in when Sirius found you. They were talking about bruises! Bruises! And I was so shocked, I could have never even considered that the great harry would be abused! But then I really thought about it, and remembered something I read about trauma manifesting in different ways. Some turn angry and mean, others become kind, heroic people pleasers. I assumed that everyone with trauma would have been like me, but I was wrong. I guess what im trying to say is, if you need to talk to someone that gets it harry im here. I don't want us to be rivals anymore, I want us to be friends” He finished, his words coming out rushed and slightly panicked.
Malfoy? Abused? Is that what he was saying? That he understood abuse and wanted to be friends with Harry? He wouldn't believe it! But at the same time, he could. Harry had seen his father, and that man had reminded him of Vernon. So maybe Harry could be friends with Draco, or at least be civil. Maybe they could support each other through their trauma. So he straightened up, and stuck out his hand
“Friends mal-draco” Harry said, correcting himself before using the boy's last name. Draco shook his hand, and as their skin touched Harry felt heat rise to his face, and a fluttering feeling in his stomach. Huh, odd.
“Ok, well see you at school Harry!”Draco said before jogging back over to his friends.
“Yeah, see you” Harry called out before walking back over to his uncles who were grinning.
“What?” Harry asked, looking between the two.
“Nothing” they said at the same time, still grinning. Harry chose to ignore it.
“I think this is going to be a great year,” Sirius said, wrapping an arm around Harry's shoulders. Harry lent into him
“Yeah uncle pads, I think it will be”