Chapter Text
"Are you sure you're ready to go home?" Lena heard from the other end of the line as she tried to shift in her narrow airplane seat, hoping to somehow alleviate the heavy feeling settling in her chest. "I'm alright. It has been a while since I went back" she replied with a quiet sigh.
She shuffled in her seat once more, her shoulder accidentally bumping the passenger next to her.
"Sorry" she apologized quickly, though the old man seemed too absorbed in his own world to notice. "Anyway, I have to end the call."
"Alright. You have a long flight, so try not to think about Miu too much" Oom said from the other end.
Just hearing that single name made the pit in Lena's stomach twist with fresh anxiety.
"Bam and I will pick you up at the airport, okay?"
Lena offered a brief response before hanging up, staring blankly at her phone's dark screen as the cabin light glinted off the glass.
It had been years since she last set foot in Thailand, the place where she spent most of her life. Oom and Bam had been her closest friends since their school days. They were in different grade levels back then, but through various campus clubs, Lena met Oom, who later introduced her to Bam, Oom's girlfriend at the time, and now her wife.
Miu, on the other hand, was a junior. Oom had already graduated when Miu entered as a freshman. Since the campus was an open-air layout, Oom still hung around during breaks or after school hours.
Normally, a freshman like Miu would tread carefully, taking time to learn the ropes and figure out who was nice and who to avoid. But Miu was the complete opposite. She immediately made friends across all year levels.
Everyone had glowing things to say about her: she was cute, pretty, bubbly, and above all, deeply kind. Some people even wondered if it was an act, because from the outside, she almost seemed too good to be true.
After a few months of Miu’s name echoing through the hallways, Lena’s friend group naturally took notice. Bam eventually met Miu at a party hosted by another student and brought her into the group the very next day. While there were nearly ten of them in their wider circle, Lena, Bam, and Oom shared a special bond of their own.
Before they knew it, Miu began hanging out with them every day.
A week later, Bam revealed the real reason Miu was suddenly spending so much time around them: Lena.
Miu had texted Bam directly to ask if Lena was seeing anyone. Bam told the group that Miu hadn't beaten around the bush at all. When Bam asked if she had a crush on Lena, Miu responded with an instant, unapologetic "yes" making no effort to hide it.
"Well... good luck cracking our studious friend" Oom had said to Bam back then. She wasn't wrong. Lena was intensely focused on her academics. It wasn't even about chasing top honors; she simply wanted to do well, and finding a relationship was the last thing on her mind.
So that was how things went. The group was honest with Miu about Lena's mindset, but Miu didn't care in the slightest. Whenever someone asked if Miu was single, she would casually reply, "Yes, but I like Lena." She didn't care if people whispered or talked loudly about it. She simply liked the fact that everyone knew.
Lena, for her part, didn't mind Miu sticking around. Miu was sweet and brought so much warmth and laughter to the group. Naturally, the friends teased them constantly, but Lena always brushed it off as harmless fun. Miu enjoyed the teasing, though she always respected Lena's boundaries.
It went on like that for years. Lena would be walking down a noisy, sunlit hallway and suddenly hear a voice shout, "Lena!" in the most enthusiastic, bubbly tone imaginable, a sound that still echoed clearly in the back of her mind.
Honestly, half the campus probably had that same voice stuck in their heads, considering how often she shouted it. Before Lena could even react, a warm arm would hook into hers, holding on gently just to share the physical proximity. Without even looking, Lena grew to know that familiar scent instantly. Then, like clockwork, Miu would offer a sing-song "Good morning" leaving Lena no choice but to smile and greet her back.
People often asked Lena if they were actually dating, given how much affection she allowed Miu to show. Lena’s standard response was always, "Unless you see us kissing, you have your answer." And it was true; it never went beyond linked arms and Miu’s unreserved declarations of affection.
Miu would even ask Lena for tutoring, despite them taking entirely different majors. Some students in Lena's department assumed Miu was in their program because she spent so much time making the long trek across campus just to see her. Lena never minded helping with subjects she understood, and when she couldn't, Miu would turn to Bam and Oom for guidance.
When Bam graduated, the couple still made time to visit Lena and the group on campus, though less frequently once they started working full-time.
It was during Lena’s final year that things began to shift. Determined to make her parents proud and satisfy her own high ambitions, Lena threw herself into her studies for one final push. She was so absorbed in her coursework that she failed to notice the subtle changes happening around her.
It wasn't until Oom and Bam visited campus midway through the term that Bam remarked on how unusually quiet the group was. Oom immediately noted that Miu wasn't around, and another friend mentioned, "Miu doesn't hang out as much these days."
Only then did Lena try to recall the last time she had heard her name shouted down the hallway.
She couldn't remember.
She did recall seeing Miu the previous week and exchanging a quick morning greeting, but Miu's energy had felt noticeably dimmed, like a sunny day getting cloudy.
The next day, Oom and Bam returned to campus, partly to hang out, but mostly to figure out why Miu had gone missing.
That afternoon, Miu did show up. She chatted with the group as usual, but Lena, watching quietly from the side, caught the subtle shifts.
Miu used to bounce effortlessly from topic to topic, her laughter ringing out over everyone else's, but those moments were rare now. She mostly let others lead the conversation, listening quietly with a faint, polite smile.
The rest of the semester blurred together. Lena became consumed by her final requirements, leaving her no time to pause or look closely at the changing dynamics around her. While Oom, Bam, and Miu occasionally gathered at their usual spot, Lena remained buried under heavy loads of graduation projects.
Then came graduation day.
Lena’s parents arrived, and Oom and Bam came to congratulate her. Miu’s class had been assigned to assist with the ceremony, so the entire student body was present in a sea of formal gowns and flowers.
For the first half of the day, Lena didn't see Miu at all. It wasn't until Lena’s mother stepped away to use the restroom, with Oom and Bam tagging along, that Oom suddenly pointed toward the stairwell. "There’s Miu."
Lena turned to look. Miu was standing near the stairs, holding a coil of electrical wire, staring blankly into the distance. She looked completely detached, frozen in place amid the bustling crowd.
When Lena’s mother returned and saw Oom pointing, she asked if that was their friend. Lena nodded softly.
"Let me take a picture of the four of you" her mother offered.
Without waiting, Oom grabbed Bam and pulled her over, with Lena and her mother following behind. Lena couldn't take her eyes off Miu, struck by how disoriented she looks. A familiar, uneasy sinking feeling hit Lena’s stomach. She had caught glimpses of Miu acting this way in the months leading up to graduation, but she had been too overwhelmed with schoolwork to ever stop and ask if she was okay.
"Hey, don't look so sad just because Lena’s graduating!" Oom teased, snapping Miu out of her daze.
Miu immediately smiled, but the warmth didn't quite reach her eyes.
"Hey! I was just looking for you guys" Miu said, her gaze shifting to Lena. "Congratulations, Lena. I heard you were one of the top students this year."
"Thank you. You had to snoop around before congratulating me, huh?" Lena teased gently, managing to draw a genuine, small smile from her.
Miu’s eyes then drifted to Lena’s mother.
"Aunty, this is the girl I was telling you about" Oom blurted out.
What a blabbermouth, Lena thought.
"She’s had a crush on Lena for four years now."
Lena’s mother smiled, looking at Miu fondly.
"Stop meddling in people’s business" Bam scolded, pulling Oom beside Miu for the photo as Lena’s mother raised her phone.
She snapped a few pictures before lowering her device to review them. Lena turned slightly to look at the younger girl.
"Study hard, okay?" Lena said softly.
The rest of the group overheard, and Oom immediately chimed in, "Don't drag Miu down your studious path!"
"I was going to say, don't be like me" Lena added, prompting a light laugh from the group as Bam steered Oom toward Lena’s mother to give the two a moment of privacy.
"I’ll study hard" Miu murmured, almost as if talking to herself.
"And enjoy it, like you usually do" Lena said, though Miu offered little reaction to that.
"Earn lots of money" Miu joked softly, making Lena chuckle. "Buy me a teddy bear and some ice cream."
It was such a small request, something Lena could easily buy her right then and there, but the quiet way Miu said it felt painfully endearing.
"I’ll come visit you once I start eating carrots" Lena replied.
Miu wrinkled her nose, knowing Lena hated carrots, meaning she was basically saying she wouldn't be back anytime soon.
"Honestly, you drinking more water sounds more likely than eating a carrot" Miu countered, knowing the older girl rarely drank enough water either.
"I’ll see you when I see you" Lena said quietly.
That would be their final conversation for a very long time.
Lena moved to Canada a few months after graduation. She worked various odd jobs before landing an entry-level position at a pharmaceutical company.
True to her nature, she threw herself into her career with the same relentless focus she had in school, eventually rising through the corporate ladder to become a Regional Supply Chain Director.
Just as her relentless studying had blinded her to things in college, her workaholic lifestyle kept her consumed. She tried dating occasionally, but found most partners to be little more than fleeting distractions from her career.
Sometimes, after a frustrating date, she would catch herself thinking about how easily she used to handle Miu’s overwhelming, outgoing personality back in school, even though they were never actually together.
On quiet evenings after work, Lena would scroll through Miu’s social media profiles, searching for any updates. But Miu hadn't posted anything new since Lena graduated. Seven years of complete silence. Still, Lena kept checking, hoping that one day Miu would log back on and share a flood of life updates.
During late-night phone calls with Oom and Bam, Lena would subtly bring up Miu’s name. The responses were always the same. Either the now-married couple would tease her, saying, "You left half your heart back here in Thailand" or they would sigh and admit, "We haven't really heard from her since college either."
They last saw Miu seven years ago. Seven long years. It had reached the point where Oom even asked around, and someone finally told her they have seen Miu in some grocery store. She just didn't venture out or hang around as often as before.
Now, as the low hum of the engines gradually shifted tone, the dim airplane cabin began to stir around Lena with the sudden rustle of seatbelts unbuckling and overhead bins opening. Lena swallowed hard against the dry cabin air, pulling herself out of her reminiscing.
"Thank you" the flight attendant said warmly as Lena stepped off the plane, trailing her luggage behind her into the terminal. It had been an exhausting journey across time zones, yet sleep had completely evaded her. She hadn't listened to Oom’s advice at all; her entire flight had been spent consumed by thoughts of Miu.
Now, she was finally back in Thailand to see her.
Lena’s mind raced as she navigated the crowded arrivals hall. She checked her phone repeatedly until a text from Bam popped up, letting her know they were waiting outside while Oom brought the car right at the entrance.
Stepping out into the thick, humid heat of the country's air, Lena was greeted by her two old friends, who immediately moved to load her luggage into the trunk.
"Hey, how was the flight?" Oom asked, pulling her into a warm hug.
"It was okay. I couldn't sleep" Lena admitted as they pulled apart.
Bam stepped in next, wrapping her arms tightly around Lena.
"Oom told you not to overthink things on the plane" Bam murmured softly.
Lena could only offer a faint shrug as they all climbed into the car and Oom pulled out onto the congested main road.
To distract her, Bam kept up a steady stream of casual conversation throughout the drive. They talked about work; Bam was also in pharmaceuticals, though in a different sector, while Oom had been working in film production.
Nearly an hour later, they pulled up to their destination. Lena looked down at her clothes, smoothing her shirt to make sure she looked presentable despite the travel weariness. Her hands grew ice-cold as they stepped out of the car and began walking together toward the peaceful, quiet grounds of the temple.
Seven years of radio silence, and that single update from a few days ago was that Miu had died.
It was a bitter pill to swallow, a crushing reality to process, and the reason behind the heavy pit sitting in Lena's stomach all this time.