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Why can't everyone just go away?

Summary:

Kunikida accidentally lashes out at the other ada members during a meeting.

After realizing that he accidentally scared Atsushi he is swallowed by guilt.

Self projecting//vent fic /ᐠ - ˕ -マ Ⳋ

Notes:

(See the end of the work for notes.)

Work Text:

Kunikida stood at the top of the conference room standing next to the old worn down white board, he was a bit annoyed at the moment, no. Not a bit annoyed EXTREMELY annoyed. 

MAYBE he would been in a better mood if the other members were actually listening to him. 

The Tanizaki siblings and Atsushi were talking, Yosano and Ranpo were talking, Kyouka and Kenji were talking and Dazai was leaning back on his chair definitely in LA LA land. 

Kunikida tapped his foot in anger. It was like a battery was slowly increasing rapidly in his head, and if this kept going on it would break the scale causing him to shout. 

Kunikida didn't like being mean, he never did. It just came so naturally to him. He was never good at holding his tounge, he knew if he kept going on like that it would never end well for him and he's not wrong. 

When he was younger he would get slapped or maybe even punched for acting like that and almost regularly he would be put in a pitch dark room with the door locked. Maybe that's why hes so scarred of ghosts. 

In his teens it was definitely worse, he got into fights because of his temper, he was accidentally rude to his friends and family. 

The only reason why he wasn't in jail for battery assault was probably because he has a big heart, and psychological help now. 

Kunikida cleared his throat hoping to get the others attention, only for Atsushi to perk up but be swept away by the siblings. 

The blonde scowled, his gloved hands turning into fists. 

With a bit of hesitancy he loudly struck the old white board. 

It was able to get all of the members attention, But. Kunikida just couldn't stand it, why did they look so surprised???? They're at a meeting to discuss not to gossip and chat casually. 

“DO YOU PEOPLE EVER SHUT UP???!!! YOU ACT AS IF YOU DIDN'T COME HERE ON YOUR OWN VOLITION!?? HOW USELESS ARE YOU?!” Kunikida shook his head in distress and anger, he was looking down and occasionally up at the others, his hands were also on his ears, to try to block the others and his voice.

He kept babbling insults and nonsensical verbal attacks until he heard whimpers and hushed worries. 

He instantly shut up and put his hands up to his mouth, he whispered out a 'I'm sorry' but it was too quite for anyone to actually hear it. 

Atsushi's PTSD was first slightly triggered by Kunikida's strike of the white board, but it wasn't long till he was triggered to the full extent, he couldn't help but believe Kunikida was only shouting and insulting himself and not everyone as well. 

He was on the floor curled up in a ball crying and shaking, he had thought he was mentally stronger now, guess he was wrong. 

Kunikida started to walk back slowly only to accidentally hit the white board, his breathing started to hurry. What had he done? He could already picture it, Atsushi getting extremely nervous and uncomfortable around him maybe he'll start to resent him, next thing you know it the other members despise him aswell, then Dazai breaks up with him... 

Tears Prickeld in his eyes, he can't cry. He can't cry here, it'll make him look like he's victimizing himself, that's so mean, he's no victim he's the perpetrator. 

And without any second thought he dashed out the meeting room then the building. 



Dazai strolled towards the Ada apartments with a plastic bag in hand, it had 2 cups of noodles and 1 lemon and peach tea. He was not unaware of how Kunikida was acting after Atsushi broke down. 

So! After he made sure Atsushi was doing okay again he made his way towards the convenience store that was near the agency and got some stuff to have with Kunikida, to hopefully cheer him up. 

Dazai knocked on Kunikida's door to no reply. Make's sense he probably wants to be alone, but that won't do for Dazai!

Grabbing a bobby pin from his coat pocket he began to disassemble it to turn it into a makeshift key. 

After he put it in the lock he began to wiggle it around before he heard a click. 

He walked into Kunikida's apartment quietly, the living room and connected kitchen looked so dull and frozen in time, he sighed before he went to Kunikida's bedroom door. 

He grabbed the handle to open it but it wouldn't budge, guess it was locked as well. 

After he did the same technique Dazai opened the door, turning on the lights because it was pitch dark in the blondes bedroom. 

The Blondie's hair was loose and he was wearing black shorts and a white t-shirt. 

He turned to face Dazai and that's when he saw it. 

A box cutter still inside of Kunikida's wrist, Dazai felt like he wanted to throw up, he didn't know why? He's done this before! Why is he so disturbed? 

Kunikida on the other hand had no reaction and just continued to drag it down his wrist, whimpering as it went down and up and around, over and over and over and over again. 

But before he could do more Dazai jumped at him pinning him to the floor, the motion caused the box cutter to fly out his hand and dislodging it from his bleeding wrist. 

Kunikida began to thrash around in a frenzy but it only caused Dazai to push him down harder. 

“Why are you doing this, Doppo??!!” Dazai asked, his other hand caressing the blonde's bleeding arm. 

“I have to punish myself or I'll never learn to be better!!” Dazai's grip tightened. 

“You don't have to do this!” 

“BUT I DO! did you see Atsushi's face? Did you see it? I don't want to be mean I don't wanna make people I love cry, but that's all I'm good at!”

A silence fell over the two.

The thrashing stopped, Dazai's hand's loosened (hardly). 

Dazai bent down and hugged Kunikida, Kunikida's head rolling to the side, away from Dazai, like some broken doll. 

“You can get better help then this.” he paused. “This won't do anything to help you.” he tightened his arms on the younger's waist. 

They sat like that for a couple minutes before Dazai got up. 

“Can I bandage you up?”

Kunikida nodded, not trusting him mouth. 

... 

Dazai carefully wrapped his wrist up, making sure not to hurt him. 

Dazai could definitely tell that Kunikida was tired both mentally and physically. 

After He was finished bandaging his wrist up, he brought it up to his mouth and kissed the back of the blonde's hand. 

Kunikida let out a small, small smile. 

Dazai got up from Kunikida's bed, where the two were sitting on.

“Im gonna prepare the food I brought, can you go wait in the living room?”

Kunikida nodded in agreement and got up from his bed and followed Dazai out of his room. 



Kunikida sat on the carpet in front of the couch and behind the coffee table. 

He sat Crisscroosed, and his eyes stared at the turned off TV screen. 

It wasn't long before Dazai came back and put a lemon tea in front of him and some noodles. 

He looked at Dazai who was sitting next to him. 

Dazai could only see how much of a cat Kunikida looked in those moments. His eyes were scarily dilated and even the blonde staring at him reminded him of a cat. 

Kunikida crawled over the brunette and sat on his lap, he moved his head to the crook of the olders neck, the blonde's hands on his waist. 

Dazai put his hands in kunikida's hair to relax him. 

“Do you really think you'll be able to help me get better?” Kunikida asked. 

“I'll do the best I can.” Dazai smiled. 

Kunikida got up slightly and Dazai gave him a peck on the lips. Kunikida smiled and went back to burying his head in the crook of the older's neck. 



The next day Kunikida was a bit on edge while coming into the office, he already knew he had to apologize for the show he made of himself yesterday. 

Sighing he opened the door to have almost all minus Fukuzawa and Dazai, Ada members swarming him. 

He heard many, sorry and sorry Kunikida sans. It made his skin crawl why were they apologising to him? 

“It's really fine, I should be the one apologising.” Kunikida frowned. 

“Nu uh!” Ranpo and Yosano spoke in unison. 

“We were being disrespectful it's only fair that we apologize!” Naomi explained, her brother and Kyouka nodding in agreement. 

“But-but it was also disrespectful that I screamed and insulted you guys!”

“Ah ah, I'm pretty sure when you called up idiots was pretty spot on.” Dazai walked towards Kunikida, he was only coming in now. 

“Well, I guess.” his hand grazed his wrist. “I'll accept some of them.” he sighed. 

... 

After the whole apologising frenzy Kunikida went up to atsushi who was typing away on his laptop. 

“Oh hi Kunikida." Atsushi looked up from his laptop. “Need something?”

“No actually, I want to apologize for causing you to get triggered, it was rude and unprofessional.”

“It's fine, truly!” Atsushi waved his hand around. 

“you didn't look so fine back there, I pushed you into some PTSD attack, so I'm not taking your lies.”

Atsushi paused before smiling and standing up. 

“Thank you.” he hugged Kunikida. 

Kunikida hugged backed with one arm, the other playing with Atsushi's hair. 

The end... ♡

 

Notes:

This was definitely ooc lmao this is a vent fic after all so who cares.

While i was writing atsushi's bit I was accidentally triggering my own PTSD 💔

Kunikida and atsushi are so father son trust ♡♡♡♡

Thanks for reading!