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Teruhashi Kokomi was completely lost in her own thoughts.
The afternoon sunlight streamed through the classroom windows, illuminating the floating dust, but PK Academy’s perfect girl barely registered the scenery. All of her thoughts were fixed on the boy sitting next to her.
Over the past few weeks, Saiki seemed to have returned to a state she used to think he had left behind. Far behind.
The quiet resignation he used to have around the group simply... vanished. He no longer responded to the group messages (not even with a few words or a simple thumbs-up.. now he didn't even read them); if the group approached, he disappeared before anyone could even call his name.
Not even his annoyed sighs and his characteristic "Good grief" happened anymore. When Nendou pulled him by the shoulder, he merely brushed his body away in silence, keeping his eyes fixed on the ground and walking through the hallways like a shadow avoiding being touched at all costs.
For a brief period of time, he had seemed visibly more open. Yes! That was after the meteor situation. It was a subtle shift, but Teruhashi’s sharp intuition had picked up on it clearly. Now, however, it felt like she was watching the Saiki from when they first met return. He was once again a boy erecting an invisible wall and actively isolating himself from everything and everyone.
She desperately wanted to ask what was going on with him lately…
(‘Not now… if everything goes well, I’ll have plenty of time to ask... plenty of time to understand everything about him’)
Around her, the classroom chatter continued. The soft giggles brought her back to her friends' last visit.
She had even shared much of her anguish with her friends during the sleepover. She remembered that night in her room perfectly, with the girls gathered around her pink comforter amid packages of sweets, offering enthusiastic encouragement.
”Kokomi, you can’t let the year end without confessing to him!” Yumehara had exclaimed, her hands clasped. “IT’S OUR LAST YEAR”
”It’s true!” Imu had agreed, nodding energetically. “Even though I still think he doesn’t deserve you”
That last comment had made Teruhashi roll her eyes playfully at her friend, sending a pillow flying in her direction.
After that light moment, Imu tugged on the collar of her black hoodie, looking strangely distant for a few seconds. Her eyebrows were slightly furrowed before she sighed and looked at her.
"Kokomi, you know not everything waits for us to decide, right? Sometimes we think we’ll have time to say something later... until we realize that moment has already passed"
She looked into Teruhashi's eyes, a hint of melancholy in her tone, yet her smile was so genuine. Teruhashi blinked, slightly puzzled. (‘She seemed to be thinking of something very specific...’)
”-Yes!” Yumehara suddenly perked up, jumping off the bed abruptly to grab some papers on the desk, practically buzzing with excitement. “Why don’t you try writing a letter and setting up a date with him at Central Park? Ahhh~ it would be so cute, imagine you confessing your love at sunset and him hugging you and…”
“Chiyo!!! …even though the scenario is cute and cliché”
Imu cut off Yumehara’s romantic delusions. She was her best friend, but sometimes... she really went too far with her romantic fantasies.
“Why don’t we let Kokomi decide for herself? A confession can’t be forced, otherwise it would be robotic, it HAS to have meaning!”
At that moment, eyes in the room turned back to her with expectation.
”With meaning?” Teruhashi murmured.
”Well, I think...”
The sound of the wall clock in the classroom yanked her abruptly back to the present.
She looked at it, noticing it was exactly 3:25 PM, almost the end of the school day… exactly five minutes left.
Today was the day!
Kokomi gave an imperceptible start in her chair, caught off guard by the alarm and the realization. She had been so distracted lately. ('Ah, how embarrassing, I hope nobody saw...') But she felt it… in the exact millisecond she flinched, she felt his gaze directed at her.
Teruhashi’s heart did a double flip. She felt her face burn while her breathing grew heavy ('Stay grounded, Kokomi. Breathe’)
Around the room, none of the boys noticed her hesitation or her blush; they only noticed her usual beauty. Some let out muffled sighs and almost synchronized sounds of adoration.
[‘Offu!’]
[‘Offu...’]
"Teruhashi-san looks so beautiful today..."
[Offu!’]
"You idiot! She looks beautiful every day!"
She ignored the background noise, trying to stop her trembling hands. She gathered her notebooks and supplies, storing them in her standard blue school bag. As she twisted a lock of her blue hair around her fingers, the tightness in her chest made it hard to mentally formulate her next words.
Today was August 6th. Her birthday.
She clearly remembered pondering, on that exact same day a long time ago, if there was any decent boy who was suitable for her.
Ending up inviting Saiki to a café on the same street where she ran into him that summer had to mean something!
('God, please! Don't let me be wrong. That could never happen, I am Teruhashi Kokomi! There isn't a single boy in our school who would reject me... but what if he...')
Before the spiral of doubts could consume her, Chiyo passed by her, whispering quickly in her ear with a mischievous smile and a wink. Chiyo’s eyes darted from Kokomi to Saiki in a swift motion:
“Good luck, Kokomi-Chan!”
With a short breath, Teruhashi turned toward his desk. Her pulse was racing; she clenched her fists hidden in the folds of her skirt and tried to maintain the flawless determination she always displayed.
Saiki remained expressionless. He turned in her direction before she could even take the first step, exactly as if he were already expecting her move ('How does he always... why does it always seem like he knows everything before it happens?')
The wind blowing through the open window gently moved the strands of his pink hair. His purple eyes, holding a mysterious and intense shade, were fixed on her. He looked at her in that exact unique way. Without the silly infatuation of the other boys, but with a quiet intensity, as if he were seeing right through her beauty.
“S-Saiki-kun... “ she began, hating the shaky weakness in her own voice and feeling her legs go weak. “Shall we go to the café?”
Saiki didn't hesitate. He simply grabbed his bag, adjusted it over his shoulders, and stood up, waiting for her.
'yes'
Teruhashi’s face lit up instantly. All her apprehension evaporated for a second, replaced by a vivid wave of relief and a soft warmth. She walked beside him, keeping her pace in sync as they left the classroom.
('Fufu~ he's always so gentle’)
The walk from PK Academy to the small café on the commercial street took place mostly in a comfortable silence, broken only by their rhythmic footsteps and the sound of urban traffic in that area; the streets were somewhat empty today, which was a little unusual.
To anyone watching from the outside, it would look like an ordinary walk between the perfect girl and an average, very lucky guy. But to Teruhashi, every tiny detail carried an enormous meaning. She spoke, commenting on the weather, the upcoming exams, the funny habits of their idiot friends, and Saiki merely accompanied her in silence. He didn't interrupt her, nor did he seem impatient with how she was rambling to hide her nervousness.
On the last trip they took together with their friends, they had spent most of their time together, and Teruhashi had talked for hours on end about the history of the Buddhas, and he had stayed right there even when Nendou walked away yawning.
Whenever she stole a side glance at him, she noticed his small gestures. When a cyclist sped by too fast on the sidewalk, Saiki subtly adjusted his step, positioning himself closer to the street. When she almost tripped on an uneven patch of concrete, his hand rose a millimeter, ready to intuitively catch her, pulling back as soon as she regained her balance.
Teruhashi wondered which of the two of them was more focused on the other right now, and that thought brought a genuine smile to her features.
('He pretends he doesn't care, but he pays attention to everything I do... that means something, right? It has to mean something. There's no way it doesn't.')
That was enough to make Teruhashi believe that, maybe, she was finally reaching him. After all, Kusuo wasn't someone who easily allowed other people into his space. Every small sign of acceptance coming from him felt bigger than if it came from anyone else, especially when it concerned her; she was used to attention from any boy, but his was special.
They stepped into the café, and the scent of freshly ground beans mixed with the aroma of pastries coming from the oven enveloped them both as soon as they crossed the doorway; both of them were passionate about sweets.
Teruhashi looked around before they chose a more secluded table near the window. It was a quiet enough spot where they could talk without the bustling movement of the rest of the establishment around them.
When the waiter arrived to take their order, she didn't even need to ask what Saiki would choose.
“This coffee jelly”
She pointed to the menu where they had a premium coffee jelly, trying to contain a smile at how predictable he was. Some things simply never changed, and this was definitely one of them.
“And a strawberry milkshake, please”
The waiter noted the orders, but lingered a few seconds longer than necessary before stepping back. His eyes shifted briefly to Teruhashi, as if trying to find a way to prolong the conversation.
Teruhashi noticed, as always. But she maintained her usual flawless smile, tilting her head slightly as she asked.
“Do you need anything else?”
Her tone was extremely polite. Almost as if she were the one responsible for service and was just trying to help an indecisive customer.
On the inside, however, her expression was completely different:
(‘Could he please realize he's done with his job and get out of here? He's ruining my date')
Yet she would keep smiling as if nothing were wrong. After all, Miss Perfect would never lose her composure over such a trivial thing.
(‘Especially not in front of Saiki')
The waiter seemed to finally get the message and walked away toward the counter, muttering something she couldn't quite hear, but that probably had to do with a very lucky boy and how envious he was.
Teruhashi turned her attention back to the person sitting across from her, pleased to have reclaimed the peaceful moment she was sharing with him.
“It's remarkably quiet here for late afternoon, don't you think?” she commented, resting her chin softly in the palm of her hand, tilting her head with natural grace. “I thought it would be packed!”
Saiki merely nodded his head once, holding her gaze for a second longer than usual before returning to stare at the center of the table.
'Yes'
It didn't take long for their orders to arrive. The waiter gently placed Kokomi’s strawberry milkshake on the table, followed immediately by the perfectly assembled glass of coffee jelly topped with a generous layer of cream.
She watched the exact moment the dessert spoon hit Saiki's mouth. The imperceptible stiffness in his shoulders simply... gave way. He seemed to soften instantly. (‘He really loves this stuff’)
”You truly love this sweet, don't you?” Kokomi let out a muffled giggle behind her hand, covering her smile. She wasn't that fond of coffee jelly despite being a sweet lover herself. She preferred strawberry desserts, but she could swear the dessert tasted different after she met him; that dessert practically screamed his name.
Saiki didn't answer with words and seemed completely relaxed and at absolute peace, immersed in his dessert.
Seeing how easily something so simple brought him joy made a warm feeling spread through Teruhashi’s chest. This was the Saiki she had fallen in love with. One of the few boys who didn't seem to view her solely for her looks or her "perfect girl" reputation, but who showed an almost childish satisfaction over a good dessert.
I guess the jelly is the perfect one in the end.
The conversation continued with small everyday remarks, comfortable pauses, and responses that, to anyone else, might have seemed far too brief.
Teruhashi kept her hands wrapped around the cold glass, letting the silence flow. The late afternoon sun painted the sky in orange hues through the glass pane of the café. Everything around felt serene, as if the universe itself was holding its breath, waiting for the next step.
Saiki scraped the very last trace from the coffee jelly glass. As soon as he set the spoon back on the saucer with a soft porcelain clink, his posture returned to its usual neutrality.
Teruhashi squeezed her cold cup until her knuckles turned pale and the cup crumpled slightly.
”S-Saiki-kun...” her voice cracked on the first syllable, and she had to swallow hard before continuing. “Actually… um… well… there's a reason I asked you here today”
She paused. The air seemed to escape her, and the sentences didn't come out with the calculated fluidity she usually mastered or in the way she had rehearsed with the girls.
In fact, it was so strange to think that, in the past, she would have considered this kind of moment impossible; she, Teruhashi Kokomi, accustomed to receiving glances, compliments, and confessions from every direction, was sitting there with the only person who didn't seem to care about the perfect image everyone else saw.
For a few seconds, she just stared at him, trying to find the right words to convey what she felt. For the first time, she didn't want to impress him, nor did she even want him to say “Offu”; all she could think about was how much she wanted to be honest with him right there.
“I thought about this a lot…” she confessed, a nostalgic smile appearing on her lips.
“In the beginning, I thought it was just because you were different. Because you were the only boy who didn't react to me like everyone else. I couldn't accept that someone existed who didn't look at me the way everybody else did. I wanted so badly to make you say… I wanted you to acknowledge who I was”
She let out a soft laugh, a bit embarrassed by her past self, and for a split second, the situation took her back to that absurd day when Yumehara had challenged her, making her confess to Kuriko, Saiki’s sister, as if she were him.
The memory was far too ridiculous for that moment, but precisely because of that, it managed to draw a tiny, genuine laugh out of her.
“But... after a while, I realized it wasn't about that anymore” Her smile faded slowly, giving way to a much more vulnerable expression. She was being more vulnerable than she had ever been in her whole life right there.
“You never saw me as just the perfect girl or disregarded my feelings. And even when you try to distance yourself from us… from me. When you act like you don't care... you always show up when I need you.” Her eyes grew brighter, and she stared down at the table, suddenly unable to look into his eyes.
“I notice how kind you are, how much you prefer supporting everyone from behind the scenes, how you don't need an audience to be the person you are. So no matter how many boys surround me... you're the one I look for, and… I've felt this way for so long, and I wanted to tell you… “
Her voice dropped lower, almost as if it were a secret she would die trying to keep, but that was no longer possible to hide or run away from.
“I don't know exactly when it happened, and it took me a while to understand… but i fell in love with the person you are.”
“I love you, Saiki-kun.“
For a few minutes… or hours? It felt like hours. The world seemed to stop. Saiki remained motionless, so difficult to read that anyone else would probably have believed that confession had caused no effect whatsoever.
Teruhashi didn't notice the minimal hesitation, the way his gaze shifted for a fraction of a second before returning to its place. His fingers tightened slightly against the table and then relaxed.
Then, after a painful wait
when he spoke, his voice remained quiet.
“Teruhashi-san. I cannot accept your feelings.”
She blinked, as if her brain took a moment to comprehend those words.
“I don't think I'm capable of giving you what you need. It's better if you forget about this.”
Her smile stayed on her face for just a few more seconds, held there purely out of habit, before disappearing completely. It was strange. So strange. Because she was used to rejecting people, not being rejected. She always knew what to do when someone confessed their feelings to her, she always knew how to keep her perfect composure. But now there was no script. There was no prepared response.
“Ah...” was all she managed to say at first, her voice coming out far too low. She tried to smile again, tried to act like everything was fine, like it was just another situation that Teruhashi Kokomi could easily overcome. But the smile didn't reach her eyes.
“I-I understand...” Teruhashi quickly averted her eyes, standing up before he could realize how deeply that had shattered her composure. “so well.. I'm going to leave, I'm sorry for taking up your time” She clutched her bag tightly, trying to ignore the uncomfortable ache in her chest as she walked toward the exit. Hot tears began spilling from her eyes (‘no, no. I can't break down here, I've kept this up for 16 years. It's not going to be because of this that I-')
But nothing helped; the harder she tried to hold back the tears, the more they streamed down.
(‘I need to get out of here NOW! I… I can't exist in this world anymore, I thought I was Saiki's type..that after everything i was finally someone he allowed into his world. I thought-')
Before she could reach the door, she felt a hand grab her wrist.
She froze. The touch on her wrist was firm, yet careful enough not to hurt. For a moment, her heart took a leap, and she looked back expecting to hear something, anything.
“It's not really like that.” he murmured, almost too low to be heard. And after a pause, he said, “It's better this way, Teruhashi-San”. His eyes widened for the briefest moment, almost imperceptibly. If he didn't know him, she would think he didn't even know why he had done that. His fingers let go before she could interpret it with any hope.
With that, Saiki passed by her and left the café, leaving only the chime of the door echoing behind him.
The girl remained still, staring at the door he had just closed, which wasn't the only thing that had closed.
There were so many things she wanted to know, so many things she wanted to tell him, but in that moment she realized he had built walls she wouldn't be able to climb. That was it, the reality was simple: she had interpreted everything wrong.
And for the first time in a long time, she didn't know what to do.