Chapter Text
My feet move on their own as I walk up the road from the Library towards the Holiday home. I keep my eyes trained towards the ground as I try to block out the voices around me. There’s no need to consider where I’m going or how I’m walking there, as that constant tugging sits in my chest, pulling my body in the direction my friends are going.
Noelle and Susie walk in front of me, the reindeer giggling as Susie tells some story I’m choosing not to listen in on. It’s gotten easier zoning out during these group hangouts, not like I would have much to contribute anyway; who knows what It could prompt me to say. And despite everything, seeing Noelle and Susie has become… somewhat bearable. I suppose it’s nice that they’re at least happy together. They’re easy to ignore too, always wrapped up in each other, which is saying something considering the voice talking animatedly and nonstop next to me,
“And that’s what I particularly liked about Super Smashing Fighters 2, although I can’t say it was as good as the original, but that may just be nostalgia speaking,” the blue bird says before turning to look at me. “What about you, dear Kris? I’ve heard a thing or two about you partaking in some video games.”
I nod silently after a moment,
“Yeah, sometimes…”
Berdly nods along, holding onto the straps of his backpack,
“Any in particular?”
“Um…” I start before feeling a sudden tug in my chest, words spilling out before I can stop them, “Mew Mew Fighters 3.”
I quickly slap a hand over my mouth, internally swearing at that thing inside me. Glancing over at Berdly, I see him nodding at my answer, thinking on it thoughtfully,
“That’s a turn-based fighting game, right?” he asks. “I haven’t played it, but I’ve heard nothing short of good reviews for it.”
Hell, if I know. I’ve only caught a glimpse of it when walking past the younger grades.
“Yeah, I think so…” I reply, glancing away.
I can feel him staring at me, the two in front of us still talking as we all walk,
“Are you okay, Dea- Kris? You seem kind of uh quiet… or more so than usual.”
I bite the inside of my cheek before feeling the start of a tug in my chest,
“I’m fine!” I blurt out quickly before It could say something for me.
Silence falls between us; I glance at him, noticing he faces forward now.
Shit. I hadn’t meant to sound so abrupt; I just don’t want to even think about what It could have made me say. Berdly may be… annoying and often far too into my business for my liking, but he’s just a dude. I wouldn’t want to accidentally hurt his feelings.
I feel my steps slow, and I look up, seeing the gate to the Holiday home in front of us now. I hadn’t even noticed we were nearing it; I was so zoned out of the walk.
“-if you want to, of course!” I hear Noelle say, only catching the tail end of whatever she was talking to Susie about.
“Sure, dude, I’d be down. It’s a weekend anyway,” she replies. Susie looks back to Berdly and me before pointing to Noelle, “She’s inviting us in for movie night, you guys down?”
I have to conceal a smile as I glance at the flicker of disbelief on Noelle’s face from Susie’s misinterpretation of the invite and Susie smiling at us, clueless. I barely open my mouth before that tugging in my chest returns,
“I’m busy.” comes out of my mouth. Guess I’m walking home alone.
“Aw, bummer, man. I was gonna introduce Noelle to Kaiju Blood Hound 8,” she says before turning to Berdly, “What about you, Bird Dude?”
I see him think on it next to me, and I swear I see him glance at me for a split second. He lets out an exaggerated sigh,
“Alas, I’m afraid I’ll have to decline such a stupendous invite; I believe I have some homework to catch up on,” he says, “And it’s my duty to ensure Kris gets home safely, so I must walk them.”
Susie and I seem to freeze at the same time, my eyes immediately shooting up to Berdly. She stares at Berdly before shifting her gaze to me, asking me a million questions silently,
“Well, alright, see you guys next week,” she says, obviously trying not to laugh. I’m definitely getting a text about this later.
Noelle waves, smiling brightly to us as she and Susie walk through the gate,
“Bye! See you guys on Monday!”
I put a hand up to wave as Berdly waves… extravagantly, his feathers rustling.
What… the fuck.
__________
I grip the straps of my backpack silently as I walk up the road towards my house, Berdly walking on my right, talking about some new show that started airing a few weeks back. I was trying desperately to ignore it, hoping the tugging would make me walk faster and reach my house quicker.
“-and then the evil curse just ripped out his host body’s heart so that he couldn’t find the rest of him! Oh, sorry, that’s probably a spoiler. I don’t know if you watch anything like that; are there any shows or movies you’re fond of?”
I glance at him out of the corner of my eye before shrugging,
“Mystery. Maybe horror.” I reply, silently surprised I was actually allowed to.
He nods along thoughtfully,
“Mystery for such a mysterious person I see, how elusive,” he says, wiggling his feathers at me, “I used to watch mysteries with my mom; we would try to guess who the criminal was before they made the grand reveal.”
“What about horror?” I ask without really thinking.
“I’m afraid to say it was never much my thing. Some of the stories are exquisite; I fear I just don’t see the appeal in purposefully getting scared,” he explains before quickly adding, “Not to put down any of your interests, of course, dear Kris. I understand there are many different horror genres; perhaps I haven’t found one I like. Any you favor?”
“Slashe-” I start before a tug in my chest interrupts my speech, “Why are you walking with me?”
Dammit. The words tumble out before I can stop them, coming out rushed and rude. Silence falls between us almost immediately. I look up quickly to see Berdly’s expression flicker with surprise. Shit, how could I say something like that to him? And in such a harsh tone? I open my mouth to speak, but he beats me to it,
“Well… I just know that you’re used to walking home with Susan, you two being so close and all,” he explains. “At Noelle’s, you looked a little disappointed that you would have to walk home alone, so I figured we could walk instead!”
I stare at him for a moment, speechless. I never realized how… is nice the right word to use? He’s annoying like ninety percent of the time, but I guess he is just a dude. I look back ahead of us, noticing that we’re walking up the driveway to my house. Coming to a stop at my front door, I turn to face him, keeping my gaze turned down. I should say something, anything, to explain myself. I open my mouth to speak but am interrupted by the front door swinging open.
“Oh! Kris, hi sweetheart,” Mom says, smiling softly before looking over at Berdly. “I don’t believe we have met; you must be one of Kris’s friends. I’m Toriel, Kris’s mom.”
Oh no. I look over at Berdly, who smiles brightly up at Mom,
“Ah! Kris’s mom?! Why, I would’ve thought you were their sister,” he says, reaching out to shake her hand. “It’s quite the pleasure to meet you; I’m Berdly.”
Mom chuckles lightly before shaking his hand politely,
“What a charmer. I can see why Kris has you as a friend!” I would give up an arm to end this conversation. “I was going to make a pie but realized I’m nearly out of flour, so I’m heading to the grocery store. Dinner is all ready on the stovetop so please, help yourselves.
Berdly smiles awkwardly, holding onto one of the straps of his backpack,
“Oh no, I wouldn’t want to intrude on your lovely home.”
“Oh nonsense! We have people over all the time; it’s a weekend night anyway.”
Berdly glances at me before awkwardly looking back at Mom. I look at him, feeling the start of a pull in my chest. I shrug quickly,
“It’s fine,” I say before anything else can bubble up.
He looks at me for a moment,
“Oh! Well, great!” he says before turning to look up at Mom again. “Well then, color me flattered. I would be honored to come inside.”
Mom claps her hands happily, smiling down at us,
“Wonderful! I should be back in less than an hour, but you are welcome to eat dinner before then.”
__________
I crouch down, staring at the Soul floating in the cage at the foot of my bed, trying to push against the bars to escape. The second we got inside, I headed straight upstairs, mumbling an excuse about putting my backpack away. It was half true, I guess; my backpack was next to the cage. I throw a blanket over the cage before standing up,
“Just… stay quiet and stay up here. I don’t need you making me say anything stupid.” I mutter before walking out of my room, closing the door behind me.
I walk downstairs, my body feeling heavier from not having It in me anymore. I glance up at the kitchen, pausing when I notice Berdly at the stovetop serving up the lasagna Mom made. He seems to notice me, looking over at me awkwardly,
“Ah! Welcome back, Kris,” he greets before cutting into the dish with the spatula, “I figured I would serve up some of this delectable food Toriel made for us.”
I look at him quietly from where I stand at the bottom of the staircase, almost analyzing him. I’ve never seen him like this, not as… annoying. He holds out a plate with a square of lasagna towards me, and I walk over and take it. He cuts his own piece before we walk over to the dining table and sit next to each other.
We eat in silence as we dig into the lasagna. It feels… awkward, but I guess I’m used to talking a lot with Susie whenever she comes over for dinner. Recently, we haven’t been hanging out as much. Which makes sense, although I hate to admit it, with how she and Noelle started dating. I guess I didn’t really notice that with those two becoming a couple, it kind of left Berdly and me to become friends by default. I chew my food thoughtfully before looking over at him,
“Um…” I start, putting my fork down. Berdly pauses mid-bite, his eyes shifting to meet mine. “I wanted to say uh… sorry for earlier. I didn’t mean to sound so short with you.”
He puts his fork down slowly before clearing his throat, smiling at me,
“Please, Kris! We’re much past that; it’s alright.”
“No-! Uh… You were right earlier; I’ve gotten so used to walking with Susie that I was kind of upset that I would have to walk home alone,” I explain, glancing down at the table as I awkwardly scratch at the tablecloth. “Also just in general… I’ve been so in my head because I haven’t been able to spend time with her, but I should have been making more of an effort to hang out with you.”
I look up at him, and he looks almost surprised,
“Oh!” he says after a moment, smiling, “Well… I appreciate that, Kris. That’s actually why I’ve been talking to you more over the past few weeks. Similar to how you and Susie are, Noelle and I would hang out most of the time after school, so I was surprised by how busy she got once they started dating. And of course, I’m unbelievably happy for her and Susan, but I missed hanging out after school.”
“Well, we can start hanging out after school…” I say without really thinking. I can feel my eyes widen, and I turn back to my plate, picking up my fork again. “I mean, I wouldn’t mind at least, even with how annoying you can be.”
I slap a hand over my mouth, mentally punching myself for talking. I can’t even blame that on the Soul.
“Annoying?!” He says with mock shock in his voice before laughing. “Why, my dear Kris, I have absolutely no idea what you speak of.”
I look over at him, horror slowly leaving my face as I laugh with him.
__________
I reach across Berdly, slapping at the controller he’s gripping, my gaze still focused on the television playing a video game,
“Hey-! Cheater,” he yells, straining as he holds the controller over the arm of the couch to get away.
I laugh as I clumsily play one-handed, my character punching his on the screen. A whistle blows from the TV as ‘Game Finish’ flashes across the screen, then my name shows up as the winner. I pump up my fists in victory,
“Yes! I told you I’d win.” I gloat, smiling at him.
He scoffs as he sits upright again,
“Please, my dearest Kris, you know cheating doesn’t count,” he says before holding up a feather. “A true gamer would never have to resort to such means to win.”
I bury my head in my hands, laughing, the controller next to me. It’s been a while since I laughed this hard with someone after school, and I can’t say that I hate that it’s Berdly who’s making me laugh so hard.
It’s been a few hours since we finished dinner; Mom came back shortly after, and Berdly insisted on helping her with the pie. We gathered in the kitchen, helping her make an apple cinnamon pie. Once it was done, we all sat at the dining table together, which prompted a long conversation between Mom and Berdly before I eventually had to pull him away to play video games.
“It’s not cheating if I win,” I remark, clicking on the controller to return to the game menu.
“Kris, that’s exactly what it is,” he says, almost in disbelief.
I look over at him, snorting when I register his perplexed expression. He nudges me with his elbow playfully before facing the screen again,
“So… another round of Street Fighter? Or I have Super Smashing Fighters Ultimate.” I ask, yawning the last bit as I stretch.
“I didn’t expect you to have so many fighting games. When you mentioned Mew Mew Fighters 3 earlier, I expected more cutesy stuff like that,” he muses. “Do you want to play that? You said you favored it.”
I cringe at his comment; fuck, I guess I did say that. Or It made me say that.
“Ah… no, I misspoke earlier,” I start, trying to think of how to word it to not give that away, “When you asked, my mind went to games I’ve seen recently. I’ve never actually played it, but I saw some of the younger kids at school playing it.”
He nods along, turning to face me,
“Ah, I see! That makes perfect sense then,” he replies, nodding along. “I’m perfectly fine playing anything, or we could watch something too if you need a change in pace.”
I smile softly at him, nodding before reaching for the remote, switching the TV from the game to streaming.
After much debate, we settle on a slasher/action film as a compromise. I would have preferred to watch a real horror movie, but something told me it would’ve ended poorly for him. He makes a bowl of popcorn as I search for the movie on the TV.
He comes back a few minutes later, sits down next to me, and places the popcorn on the couch between us. I take a large handful before pressing start on the remote, the opening credits playing. About thirty minutes into the movie, I feel myself grow weary, my eyelids feeling heavy. I fight it for a few minutes before I slowly fall over, my head landing on someone’s shoulder softly.
Any other day, I would have jerked away quickly, but I surprisingly find myself not minding the comfort of Berdly's shoulder. I can feel him tense up for a split second before relaxing back into the cushions of the couch, my head resting more comfortably on his shoulder. He shifts for a moment, grabbing what I assume is the blanket laid across the back of the couch before draping it over me. My eyes flutter shut, an involuntary sigh leaving my nose as I lean more into him.
Shit, I don’t know how much I can actually tell Susie.