Archive of Our Own

Tweek could not find an activity more useless than sleeping, and it seemed he could do nothing but lay restless as the late night crept forward. 

The darkness would subdue any sense of security he had previously felt during the day time, though, that too would carry its own set of overbearing challenges. There were far too many things he knew to be wary of, far too many potential encounters that could end in horrible fates. Terrible circumstances that he could entangle himself in. The world was vast in ways that could not be good and well for anyone’s inner peace. 

He felt uneasy, as if everything buried within his body was moving backwards, and if there was an infinite source of discomfort in him he couldn’t shake. It was a cyclical, tiring process that drove each of his senses into a grave state of alert when one would expect to be winding down.

Senses… What was that practice again? Five things you can… see? Or was it five things you can touch? Four things to hear? Three things to taste? When would you start listing smells? Am I even breathing right now? Oh God, there was no end to it!

He curled himself inwards, squeezing his eyes shut to no actual avail of stability. The sheets cradled him, but he feared for when they would begin to feel more strangled than comforting. It was an ongoing battle. One he was having increasingly less energy for.

There was a relentless, bothersome warmth that pooled beneath his eyes as he tugged at his pjs. His mind and body had felt agonizingly heavy as the days progressed. His parents expressed passive “goodnight’s” to him a few hours ago, and he was not sure what maniac decided to string the words “good” and “night” together. There was absolutely nothing fulfilling and feel-good about this time of day. 

Tweek groaned in exasperation, tired of seeing the looming dots dancing behind his eyelids, “Stupid… so stupid.”

The rasp in his voice was apparent. It felt far away and deeply integrated in his bones all at once when he spoke. He had twisted around to lay on his back, his chest heaving with little energy as he puffed out shallow breaths. He was certain he could likely cry from the frustration. In fact, he was not sure whether the burn pricking through his eyes would be from tears or deadset exhaustion.

He could not even fully back the idea that he was entirely opposed to rest. If anything, he would find it miraculously life-saving if he could experience a burden free sleep. If there was a moment that he could receive something that guaranteed him sweet dreams and a pillowy night.

Tweek turned to face the wall, breathing out another effort of insomnia as his eyelids were beginning to droop. The weight of sleep was beginning to grow on him immensely, and the swarm of any grueling thought began to simmer into something more sound and quiet. 

He breathed out again. Far less agonizing. 

Friday tomorrow… Was there any school event happening? Did I study enough for that test? Craig kept saying he might do poorly on the reading, but he was so helpful with me on the math. I am sure he’ll do okay. God, and another morning assembly. Always too loud and crowded in the gym. What if a fire happened? Are there any fire exits in the gym? I think I only counted one last time. Jesus, only one?! Maybe I just won’t go. Craig never enjoyed them either. Maybe he’ll go with me? Maybe we can just…

Tweek breathed out another time, thoughts trailing off and around as his eyes peered open lazily.

It was difficult to make out the dark swatches of his room, but his line of sight dragged along peculiar, small shapes that crawled against his wall. As his vision focused by a decimal or two, his mind raced the moment he could only make sense of it as a sudden, horrific, eight-legged infestation.

His heart spiked instantaneously.

“Oh, Jesus Christ– spiders! There’s–” he got up, startled and staggering unevenly out of his bed, heart drumming loudly in his ears as he watched this image of critters traveling by his bedside fade right before him as if they were never there.

Tweek held his breath in bewilderment, eyes scattered and blown wide as his brain made out the view before him the best it could, without the blur of sleep. There was no previous sight of bugs that he could make of anywhere.

“What?” he whispered softly then, voice teetering off into the uncomfortably quiet space of his room. 

Everything appeared painstakingly silent, but he could not seem to shake how sentient his house felt as the late hours pushed further. 

He felt as if everything in his surroundings wanted to eat him alive.

With hesitation, he pressed his knees back on the sheets, grabbing at the tufts of hair on his scalp as he continued to examine the vacant space. His heart remained to hammer upsettingly and his skin was in an unfortunate tangle of sweat that did not meld well with the freezing whirrs of his ceiling fan. His head felt achingly heavy with all the accumulating sensations. He felt as if he might just throw up and succumb to sickness.

An entirely unhelpful thought.

Images that reeked of anguish and death seeped into his brain, affording him to only crumble into himself all over again.

Tweek began to breathe in and out helplessly as he wrapped around himself in desperation, fingers pressing anxiously at his sides, wondering what could have possibly cursed him or what he must have done to be plagued with such fears. Why didn’t any other kid in class seem to collect such disheveled feelings? Would he be forced to bear this for the rest of his life? Was there something truly wrong with him at every turn and aspect? How heavy is the world meant to feel for someone his age?

He could feel himself truly crying now, the streaks of wetness pairing his worn face to his thrashed comforter while he attempted to wipe his tears as soon as they came. His mind raced and his fingers jerked as they sought through any source of possible grounding.

His voice droned sorely at the back of his throat, and he wondered if he could feel some collection of bile and mucus pressing on.

It was not often that he could control when tears decided to brim at his vision. He recalled a visit from his doctor where he was failing to speak from the sheer amount of feelings and emotions he could not name. That doctor frequently spoke to Tweek in a way that was deemed too childish and friendly, always aiming too high or too low for what he really needed. It was as if the man was another slight amalgamation of his parents and relatives. Though, in other moments, his demeanor and words would shift to something that would actually offer his constant frustration some solace.

“Sometimes, when our brains are filled with that overflow, it is good to not only break them apart into pieces, sorting them to their each corner, but it is also helpful to allow ourselves to be reminded of good things. Good things that can slowly, but surely, overcome the presence of those corners, even if it does not make them go away. We’ll set that goodness in the center, making it most important, and as a constant reminder that it will always be there, even when we forget.”

Tweek searched his mind for these pieces. It was not the first time that he would do this, settling back into something more calm in order for him to organize his emotions with more ease. It would be trifling at times, but he was thankful that he could make a space in his mind that treated him with more kindness. Something he could reside in and control.

Good things… 

His head fell against his pillow with his lips pressed together in thought. Closing his eyes for better work.

Sunrises… Dinosaur museum gift shops… Jumbo crayons… Music from the Carnival of the Animals CD… Puppies at the pet store… Ice cubes frozen in funny shapes… Ninja Turtle reruns… Craig’s room…

Tweek’s eyes opened for a moment. Face semi-flushed as the image of Craig came to mind. He couldn’t tell whether his breathing began to pick up or slow, but his thoughts were far separated from the matter. The past week with his boyfriend compiled itself quickly in his mind, settling him further into comfort.

They had been dating for over three months, or would it be getting close to four now? Tweek had never been good with dates, he would end up too caught in the demand of actively remembering them (which Craig had assured that he’d just remind him), but thankfully, Tweek seemed to take note of many other things between them without realizing. Especially as of late. Instances of growing closeness and feelings of endearment. It all remained stark in his mind as Tweek was well aware of the other boy’s often motionless and disinterested attitudes.

It felt surprising to learn that Craig was actually quite interested in many things.

He was happy to catch Craig in these moments of bliss. To be an integral part of them was something else entirely. He was glad to understand that he himself felt increasingly comfortable with Craig as time went on, even if it has not been for very long. He can’t say he’s been able to relish in something so happily with another person. To get wrapped up in an unexpected ‘romance’ and oddly kindled friendship that made him feel like a real kid. That made him feel normal.

He found himself always wanting to be around Craig as much as he could, and his heart began to buzz around in a frenzy at mere mental images of the boy. 

Craig offering him the pineapple bits from his fruit cup during lunch. Craig lending him his jacket when he jittered for too long. Craig reaching out for his hands whenever he wasn’t doing well. Craig wanting to walk him home from the coffee shop. 

There were even moments where Craig began to pull in ‘petnames’ when referring to Tweek. He could recall a moment where he slipped in something like “honey” during a secluded conversation between them both. Tweek had been bent around in a panic for something he couldn’t exactly remember now. All he could bring to mind was when Craig rubbed circles in his back, telling him how “Everything’s alright,” and “You’re going to be okay, honey.”

Tweek seemed to get thrown off entirely. Forgetting all of which there was to ever be worried about in his world. He remembered the growing astonishment in Craig's eyes as they read the foreign stillness in Tweek’s staring back at him. It was the first time he learned Craig could become flustered, even if it didn’t appear in the way he had known in himself. Slowly explaining his reasons but still fumbling his own words, suddenly drifting his eyes elsewhere (something Craig rarely does), but clinging hesitantly onto the familiarity of Tweek’s hands as if searching for a greenlight.

Tweek turned to face his pillow, muffling quiet sounds of happiness that he couldn’t quite contain. He felt almost ridiculous, but his drowsiness let him stretch into these feelings without any hesitation.

Craig. Craig. Craig.

Tweek reached over to grab his phone as if he were suddenly operating without any clear objective. He sifted through his screen as he picked out Craig’s contact and skimmed through messages from that afternoon and evening. Words drizzled in classmate complaints to determining what feeder Stripe liked best. 

It wasn’t before long until he reached the last text sent from him. 9:46 PM.

“Got 2 go. Parents r bugging. Goodnight babe.”

Tweek frowned. His heart slowly ached and pulled as his eyes read the text from Craig over and over. He could only shift from the goodnight he sent to the time that currently read 2:34 at the corner of his screen.

Craig probably imagined that he’d be fast asleep right now. He knew for certain that Craig was. Him and probably every other kid in town. Every other person, likely.

Guilt began to gnaw at him in increments.

He wondered if he should call Craig. Text him. Anything.

Tweek’s features were shrouded in uncertainty. They had never really done any sort of late night call, largely due to Craig’s parents and their curfews, but it was also just something that had not been spoken about between them, and the last thing Tweek would want is to get Craig in trouble due to his own sleeping inabilities.

Or if his parents were to be upset with him for keeping him up.

He decided it was best to leave it alone.

Tweek breathed out through his nose as he carefully set his phone away with trembling hands before turning in his covers.

He decided he would sleep. He would have a good night and sleep. He would ignore any false illusion of bugs crawling beside him. He would ignore the frail branches that casted monstrous shadows and sounds by his windowsill. He would ignore the possibility of home invasions and supernatural phenomena that could emerge from the dark. He would ignore the morning he would have to sit through once again with his parents before school. He would ignore the time that would be wasted if he submitted himself to sleep.

His thoughts would continue their rampant cycle, and two hours would pass before Tweek’s eyes finally began to close.

. . .

Craig sat still at his desk, resting against the palm of his hand as he carefully looked at Tweek from a few seats down.

He shifted his gaze for a moment to the clock on the wall. It wouldn’t be long before they’d be dismissed from school, and Craig didn’t think he could bear another minute of this literature curriculum and listening to Mrs. Nelson drool about inferences and textual analysis.

Fortunately, for Craig, he had much more engaging things to think about. To worry about, even.

As Craig sought back to Tweek, he noticed a number of things, just as he had been doing throughout the day.

For one, Tweek was late to school today, which was not entirely out of the ordinary, but missing the whole morning assembly was another thing, and Craig continued to render his thoughts differently as hours passed by with Tweek finally in class. While still appearing quite frantic and carrying on with his fidgety habits, there was a further droop in his eyes, as well as a quiet delay in how he spoke, how he reacted, and his general demeanor seemed a whole second or two off. 

Which was not too aligned with what was normal  for Tweek. 

Tweek was highly reactive in just about every aspect. He interacted with others in a hurry, moved around as if he was working against a timer or achieving to break a world record, and didn’t seem to know how to express himself in an ‘inside voice’ as the teachers would often describe.

Craig’s suspicions felt solidified during lunch, where he finally got the opportunity to spend some proper time with Tweek. The guys had been making a fuss with him the whole time prior, saying stupid shit about how all he thinks about is Tweek or that he is so painfully obvious looking at his boyfriend all day, but it was hard to really give a damn what they thought when he caught Tweek dozing off in the middle of his food.

* * *

Tweek jumped in his seat as soon as his head had bolted forwards into his plate. His face was suddenly covered in splotches of gravy, and he could only make out that the environment around him appeared muted and dull.

“Guh… so gross,” he picked his fingers through the gunky parts of his hair, mind becoming dizzy as he tried to retrieve his napkin.

“Tweek, honey, are you okay?” Craig spoke with concern, collecting the remaining clean napkins from their table, “You tired?”

The other boy whipped his head around, blinking once or twice at Craig as he tried to process his words. Everything seemed bleary, and his head was feeling heavier by the second. Trying to formulate a response proved to be more difficult. 

“Y- Yeah, I- crap, I just need to… Ngh- I think ‘m gonna go to the bathroom to… wash this stupid stuff off.”

Tweek’s face gradually burned as he twitched, feeling absolutely mortified at how little he realized that he’d likely been making a complete fool of himself all day, zoning in and out of forgotten sleep. He often found that he was acutely aware of absolutely anything on a day-to-day basis, which he never knew was to his benefit or not, considering how tormenting it would become. However, now as he felt his senses slipping from him, he knew for a fact that he needed to grip onto that fear for dear life. 

He felt a hand wrap around the nape of his neck then, to which Tweek jolted into before his body recognized the touch.

“I’ll go with you, then,” Craig stated plainly, not feeling inclined to waste another minute of today separated from his boyfriend. 

It was a strange feeling, at first, when Craig started obtaining these recurring initiatives of ‘protectiveness’, if you could call it that. Not to say he had never felt this for any of his friends, but there was something in the very act of knowing Tweek, of getting to spend time with him in the way that a regular couple would, that was becoming abundantly apparent to him. It was a feeling he was finding much more difficult to shake, especially as it peeked through their interactions one by one, and in how he found himself reaching out for the boy in some larger capacity as each day passed. Despite the foreign intensities these feelings were paired with, Craig often found it best to tackle things head on, whenever he found it meaningful.

And Tweek was becoming increasingly meaningful. 

The boy blinked at Craig again, the cafeteria lights catching in the greens of his eyes. 

He may have not had the energy to gather any other response, but he was finding that he did want Craig to be close to him.

“Yeah, okay.”

Tweek picked anxiously at his neck with one hand as Craig held the other, letting go for only a few moments once they were both secured into the restroom. He checked under the stalls for anybody before retreating back to turn the lock at the door, making Tweek yelp. 

Neither of them had spoken until then.

“Ack! Craig, what are you—” 

“Not letting any of those dicks get in,” he explained easily, hanging back with Tweek near the faucets as he began collecting paper towels. 

Despite the exhaustion, Tweek remained incapable of standing still, slowly shifting from foot to foot as he watched Craig in anticipation. He wrapped his arms around himself quietly, his voice speaking with little energy, “I’m not a baby, you know. I can do it myself.”

Craig only continued to run the wad of towels under the water, bundling them gently before turning to face Tweek, his mind focused as he tried to narrow the stained features on the other’s face.

“I’m not treating you like a baby,” Craig started as if it was obvious, his empty hand searching for Tweek’s, lacing their fingers together, “I’m treating you like my boyfriend, and this guy, Tweek, you know, my boyfriend, just got shitty lunch on his face, and I’d rather he know I’m not just gonna leave him in a crappy restroom to go clean it off.”

Craig sounded through his words nasally, and most of his sentences came off without any tangible emotion, but Tweek could read past his tones, especially as he saw him focusing on his face again, tentatively placing the tips of fingers under his chin.

Tweek jumped from the contact, and Craig voiced a small apology before carefully bringing the napkins to his face.

He could feel the warmth on the other boy’s cheeks as he wiped away any residue. Craig was beginning to realize how he could really look at how Tweek appeared in front of him now, the small presence of scars that followed along his speckled skin, the cuts on his bottom lip that were beginning to heal, the unruly strands of blonde that stuck upways and out…

Craig began to mindlessly rummage through Tweek’s hair, carefully cleaning out the junk that clumped pieces together.

Well, it’s nowhere nearly as bad as the time Tricia got peanut butter in her pigtails.

The restroom was quiet enough to where Craig could hear the subtle, unintelligible noises that bore at the back of Tweek’s throat on occasion. Craig understood them best as involuntarily hums of some sort, something he’s gradually gotten used to, especially as he was someone who seemed to gravitate closely to the other whenever he found the opportunity. It was hard to miss, then.

Though, now that he stood alone with him, locked away in the stupid boys’ restroom of all places, Craig began to wonder if they had ever drawn themselves this close to each other before.

Craig ignored the small collection of joy that burrowed in his chest, and he wouldn’t dare catch the discreet smile that he held in his reflection.

Instead, he continued to clean through the messy tangles of Tweek’s hair, taking further notice of the scabs that hid away at his scalp. It was only a few moments after that he felt a shift in weight from where he held Tweek’s face. His boyfriend’s eyes fluttered in and out of sleep, resting himself casually into Craig’s proximity as if they weren’t in school at all. Or a slimy bathroom for that matter. 

His sight dragged along the circles under his eyelids, smoothing his thumb over the dark, muted colors that took shape there.

Tweek had tumbled forwards into the contact, eyes suddenly springing open as his hands quickly grasped at Craig’s shoulders for security.

“Jesus,” Tweek breathed out, tugging tightly onto the layers of a navy jacket as he tried to balance himself upright, his voice wrecked with fatigue, “Did you… Shit– Did you get everything off? Or do you want me to–”

“Tweek, how much did you get to sleep last night?”

Craig stared at him, his hands cradling his face with urgency while the deep amber in his eyes calculated through Tweek’s expressions for any sort of answer.

“Huh? I– Ngh, I don’t know?” Tweek responded honestly, his eyes twitching in the process.

He rubbed at the corners, attempting to get the sleep out while his heart thrummed faintly, “Maybe, like, ergh– three hours?”

Craig stood there silently, replaying the words spoken to him, his mind moving just a fraction faster than what he would usually let on. His gaze stayed firm, watching as Tweek looked at him with growing exasperation. His mind ran around with questions.

In the end, he went ahead to only ask one.

“Do you work today?”

It was Tweek’s turn to look at him in disbelief, puzzled by the response.

“Erk– what? No, man. Parents are doing some insane redecorating. ‘Reno’… something. Reno-vating, I think they said,” Tweek replied half-certain, becoming increasingly aware of how close they were. Craig’s peering questions and leaning curiosity didn’t help. 

“They, um, they said it would probably be best if– ngh, if I wasn’t around while the place got fixed up.”

Tweek’s eyes darted around the grimy restroom as he remained clinging onto Craig, his grip on him gradually becoming softer as opposed to how deeply erratic he felt on the inside. It was rare that Tweek would possess these moments of control, moments where it seemed that he could breathe, even as his heart sprang lively beneath him. Craig’s company seemed to be the most present with him during these moments. It was difficult for him to truly comprehend, and there was a lot he could hardly keep up with, but he wondered if Craig somehow felt the same.

He wondered if he made Craig feel like another part of himself.

Too caught in this whirl of feeling, Tweek seemed to completely miss how Craig stood still, his own mind searching if he himself could offer his boyfriend some solution. Some outlet of rest for the time being. He looked at Tweek with intent and certainty, taking the boy’s hands from his shoulders and carrying them in his own.

“Come over to my house after school.”

Craig had stated this without room for question, he didn’t believe any were necessary, but he would be lying if he said he did not feel a brief form of amusement in seeing the ways Tweek’s eyes marveled and how his mouth stuck open without any real sound.

This lasted for one beat, at best.

“What?!” he croaked, his fists clamping into the ends of his hair.

Tweek’s features curved for another time as his fingers touched the remnants of goop in his scalp, “Eugh, Craig! You missed like– a thousand spots!”

“Sorry, I was a bit distracted,” he replied truthfully, the corners of his mouth growing into a small smile, “And it isn’t a thousand, I only had, maybe, two spots left before you fell asleep on me.”

He guided Tweek to turn towards him again, carefully pressing the soapy paper towels around the frame of his face for another time.

Craig watched how Tweek’s expression squinted, his eyes drawn shut from the cold, sodden sensations.

“Whatever,” Tweek muttered loosely, too overwhelmed to look at the other boy in the face.

Craig hummed low in response, continuing his earlier proposal, “So you want to?”

“Wha— Want to what?”

“My house.”

“Oh.”

Tweek’s nose twitched, a grin brewing softly as if the answer was obvious.

“Yeah.”

* * *

What felt to be a product of decades, the bell finally managed to ring, reverberating through the bustling of kids and disorganized classrooms. Craig had remained in his seat, waiting as his classmates emptied their desks and scattered out the door.

He had already packed his binder away, but he stayed for Tweek, who was still finding it enormously difficult to properly fit his things, and walked over towards him while the room grew placid.

Tweek was growing increasingly agitated, not understanding why his books were giving him such a hard time when he just wanted to leave. The whole school day felt as if it was nipping away at him. He couldn’t seem to entirely withdraw from the garish voices of his classmates and from how he couldn’t make out the expressions of any teacher. 

He felt dreadful pieces of foreboding each time he realized the distance he had with himself. He was terrified of any instance and incomprehensive detail. Tied between whether or not he had begun hallucinating during every unfavorable moment. That security in even trying to gain some hold onto everything.

Instead, his eyes continued to ache, and his mind cursed his body. 

His exhaustion began to focus on the bitten nubs of his fingers. A discolored bandaid on one knuckle and small, forgotten scratches along the stubby frame of his hands. Tweek tried to imagine the route to Craig’s house in his mind. Every pavement crack and crosswalk.

Tweek could feel his eyelids slipping closed again.

He just wanted to be in Craig’s house.

“Hey babe, you ready to go?” 

Tweek jumped at the sound of the sudden voice, his cheeks tinting a shade darker as he steadily processed the petname Craig used for him.

He was still trying to get used to that one.

With his backpack left zipped open halfway, Tweek stood up startled against his desk, easily shaking the swarm of butterflies in his stomach. He tugged at the havoc of his button-up and the loose backpack strap guarding his shoulder, “Y- Yeah, I…”

He checked the state of his seat again, making sure he had taken and tucked away everything necessary.

It was then that he felt small pulls at his backpack, and the sound of his zipper shutting closed.

“I checked. You got everything,” Craig voiced simply.

Tweek paused for a moment before turning his head around, making loose efforts to check. It was not the first time Craig’s done this.

“Huh? Really? You’re sure?”

Craig watched fondly as the other entangled himself briefly at the thought, a small smile growing on his face, “Yes, I’m sure.”

Tweek turned back to face him, feeling his heart steady in the process. Small graces of gratitude peeled beneath him as he mirrored Craig’s grin with sleepy eyes while the other looked at him carefully.

He really was so tired.

Craig swore to make sure he’d be by his side today for as long as he could. Tweek was going to catch up on sleep whether he wanted to or not.

“So you ready to go?” he questioned, bringing his palm out between them. It was a comforting routine.

Tweek made only a small sound before clasping his hand together with Craig. His brain felt particularly short circuited as they linked themselves to each other, and it made his smile linger a little longer.

The product of the day unveiled itself once they were out the school doors. The long hours of the morning stretched out further into a languid afternoon. It was difficult for Tweek to adjust to the brightness, so he decided to keep his head down, eyeing old dirt on his shoes and trying to match the even rhythm of Craig’s footsteps.

On any other day, Tweek may have gone into several different emotions and minor tangents as they walked together, listing endless details of a ludicrous story he saw online or explaining something far too elaborate and exciting for his mind to properly keep up with. Instead, he blinked silently, occasionally looking up at any peculiar noise from a car passing by or frightening kids moving recklessly passed them.

Craig often took the end of the sidewalk that stuck next to the road for that reason, and his thumb moved tenderly across Tweek’s knuckle in any moment he saw fit.

It wasn’t a particularly long walk from his house, but it still earned him a few minutes to fill in the quiet.

“Mom’s not gonna get home until 5:00, so we’ll have the place to ourselves for a bit,” Craig began, looking over at the smaller boy in his periphery, “You won’t have to worry about everybody being in the house.”

“Tricia’s not gonna be there?” Tweek questioned, his face vaguely perplexed. 

Craig shook his head, “Nope, she’s gonna be at a sleepover with some of her friends. Oh, and you know Dad’s at work until 7:00, but yeah, no sister. I’ll finally be free for a whole night.”

Tweek chuckled lightly, his features contorting in confusion, “What? Tricia’s nice, though.”

He heard the other boy groan. It felt like he could hear him roll his eyes, too.

“Yeah, maybe to you,” Craig breathed out raggedly, “But she’s such a stinkball of a sister.”

Tweek looked back at him then with calculating eyes, a coy smile on his face, “Maybe she gets it from you.”

He swung their hands lightly before his eyes shifted elsewhere, and Craig was glad he could read some form of delight from the boy’s movements. It was difficult to keep the corners of his mouth from grinning at the remark.

“Wow, my own boyfriend thinks I stink… Great,” he stated flatly, pretending at his lack of amusement as he detached himself from Tweek’s hold and buried his hands in his pockets.

He silently hoped it wouldn’t be for long.

Tweek gawked at him with wild eyes, twitching slightly in the process, “W- What?!”

“Hm? Oh, sorry, I just found out my boyfriend prefers my lame sister over me. Feeling pretty bummed out about it.”

“Craig, you– I do not!” Tweek argued, failing to find his words without appearing flustered. He dug his fingers in the other’s jacket, trying to retrieve his hand again, but Craig wouldn’t budge, “You’re being ridiculous.”

“Don’t know what you’re talking about,” Craig spoke again, using all his dull efforts to twist away from the smaller boy’s grasp, “I am serious all of the time.”

Tweek huffed, struggling only for a moment more before eventually pulling away, “Ack! Whatever, you do stink and everyone knows your jokes suck.”

Craig couldn’t help the funny noise that finally escaped his throat.

“I guess yours must suck too since you laugh at mine.”

Tweek had been walking ahead of him now, traces of sleepiness largely absent aside from the way his steps staggered every so often. The Tucker house was already well into view a few doors down.

“Yeah, well– ngh, maybe that’s cause I like you and when you like someone you kind of want to laugh at their totally lame jokes and maybe even prefer them over–”

In one poor step or the next, the front of Tweek’s shoe caught directly onto a stubborn crack on the pavement, his body tipping over in frantic motions as the rest of his limbs flailed sporadically in any attempt to catch himself.

He shrieked aimlessly within that same second, but it was cut short when he suddenly felt a firm hold on his hand, followed by another that wrapped around his shoulders.

Craig pulled him back close in a quick, uncoordinated movement, bringing Tweek’s frame to his chest in a way that totally didn’t suck the air out of him for a moment. 

They were both left panting and Tweek eventually felt his back resting comfortably against Craig, looking down at the sidewalk with tireless breaths before he remembered how to breathe in properly.

“You… You okay, Tweek?” Craig asked faintly, exhaling some relief, “Totally almost ate shit for a second there.”

Tweek gripped tighter at the sleeves around him, fiercely securing himself in Craig’s hold. His ear tickled from the words spoken behind him.

“Y- Yeah, I’m okay, I–” he turned his head for a second, still attempting to catch his breath while his voice grew smaller, “God, I’m totally messed up today.”

He straightened up a little after that, refusing to disconnect himself Craig.

“Not messed up. You’re just tired, it’s okay.”

Craig responded to him calmly as he often did, and their proximity granted Tweek the opportunity to feel his voice against him. It somehow felt extra warm and assuring instead of invasive and skin-crawling. He wasn’t sure how Craig could do that. He was surprised that the abrupt closeness didn’t make him want to shrink down or expel into a panic.

But his heart did seem to pick up on something else entirely, and he knew this as seconds went by with them still clinging to one another.

Out in the open.

Where any possible person out in their yard could see them.

Craig heard Tweek squawk before he suddenly broke apart from him, watching as he turned to face him with a wide set of eyes.

He continued to look at him carefully, but the other boy couldn’t seem to meet him.

“Let’s– We should…” Tweek trailed off, his head jerking as he clumsily took Craig’s forefinger in his grasp.

Craig rearranged Tweek’s hold on him in steady motions, allowing himself to wrap his hand around the boy’s trembling fingers properly, “Yeah, let’s go.”

He guided them back on their little walk, making conscientious efforts to avoid any flaws in the cement that may or may not appear under their feet. He additionally felt when Tweek’s tremors and twitches began to subside.

As they eventually reached the front door, Craig noticed a hesitation in Tweek’s pace, feeling as the other tugged on his arm slightly.

“So we’ll be alone for over an hour?” Tweek questioned earnestly, eyes flitting up to him for a moment.

“Yeah, just us,” Craig started again, feeling a little warmer now, “Just me.”

Tweek leaned into him slightly, his voice barely above a whisper, “Okay.”

. . .

“Huh?” Tweek announced in the quiet living room, his eyebrows tied in confusion, “We get the whole house to ourselves for like– a whole movie length, and you want to nap?!”

“I thought it was a pretty good idea considering today,” Craig sat up on the couch, gesturing for Tweek to sit with him, “Did you not want to sleep?”

It was an honest question, one Tweek couldn’t dissect how to honestly answer.

If anything, Craig wasn’t entirely sleepy himself. The truth is he wanted Tweek to nap, to rest, to shut his eyes, anything. He felt no need to hide this fact either, but if wiggling his way here and there would also provide some aid and maybe some comfort for his boyfriend, he wouldn’t be generally opposed to it.

Though, he’s never been good at persuading.

Tweek tugged at his button-up, reluctantly shifting around before sliding in next to Craig on the shared cushion.

The house had a discreet, herbal smell that Tweek has grown to be incredibly fond of. Stepping inside invited his shoulders to relax, his jaw to unclench, his heart to unwind… It was a bit mind blowing how safely enveloped he could truly feel. Being with Craig alone as they sat together brought himself some new found ease.

It wasn’t that he disliked Craig’s parents. He seemed to be getting increasingly close with Mrs. Tucker lately. Though, no matter the scenario, he found himself always feeling as if he was at a constant state of holding his breath when he was around adults. It was a recurring feeling, one he felt most often with his own parents, and being around others gave additional layers of unfamiliarity and being generally unaccustomed to any of their expectations.

Trying to guess at what they found to be polite, what manners were best suited at the table, around the house… It was an extremely dizzying thing he couldn’t bring himself to fully deal with without having some sort of internal or external outburst. And what Tweek knew for certain, is that he deeply hated being yelled at. The overflow of any boisterous voice, especially when wrecked with anger, could easily be placed in the ‘Top 10 Most Terrifying Experiences’ that he had filed in his brain.

And he believed that was saying something.

Thankfully, as time passed, it has been endearing to learn that some of Craig’s interests can be found in a few of his Dad’s hobbies, and that his voice can be heard in his Mom’s. 

While she had the similar, nasally undertone, she spoke lively and soothingly. Every interaction seemed attentive and inviting, much like Mr. Tucker (though he was more of a towering, intimidating character overall), which had honest-to-god frightened him in a different way at first. It was new. It was something he couldn’t read or fully understand, and was frightened of getting wrong.

He was relieved to find out that there was nothing. No transaction. No deliberate motive. No nothing. 

Craig told him time and time again a collection of things, such as how they would say things like, “When’s Tweek staying for dinner again?” and “Is Tweek doing okay? Let us know if he needs anything.”

Nonetheless, he was used to the relief he found with Craig, so transitioning himself to not only his house, but his family, came with overbearing senses of responsibility before his mind was properly able to catch up with everything again.

Everything that was well and good here.

And he was welcomed with it constantly.

“I mean I…” he started, struggling to really come up with a defense, “Is it really best to sleep on the couch?”

Craig hummed, thinking about the idea, “Not really, I can’t see it being that comfortable, but at least we got the big TV, just in case you wanted something to sleep to. I know too much silence freaks you out.”

There was a pause before Craig spoke again.

“But,” he continued, turning to Tweek with great sincerity in his eyes, “If you really want to, you can rest in my room.”

Tweek blinked at him, his eyes slowly growing larger before twitching, “Ngh– your room?”

His heart thrummed softly at the thought, imagining himself laying on Craig’s bed, hearing the occasional sounds of Stripe rustling in his cage, and looking up at each planet on his posters before he got drowsy with sleep. 

It would probably be more than nice, but–

“What, did you want me to carry you there?” Craig questioned, his expression completely sound and serious.

“Ack! No, Craig, that isn’t what...” Tweek trailed off, trying his best to slow himself down, “W– We can just… I’ll stay here. I wouldn’t want to leave you alone.”

Or have Craig leave him alone for that matter.

“Would just be weird.”

Tweek nudged himself closer to him, burying his arm around Craig’s with ease before placing his head against his shoulder.

“Plus, even if I don’t nap, I think I can definitely rest here.”

Craig couldn’t pinpoint what it was exactly, or why it happened, but the way Tweek hugged against him so naturally, especially considering how little he initiates this sort of stuff compared to him…

Could his heart have totally skipped a beat just now? Does that actually happen?

His face proceeded to warm.

I guess it did.

He sort of felt like those princely knight characters he’d see occasionally in Tricia’s favorite storybooks and movies. The ones centered on true love and fairytale kisses, with a princess fiercely embracing her savior. She’d always try getting him to play dress up and pretend with her, but he’d often be forced into some goblin or jester. It was not before long that he’d consistently bail and realize he could barely handle five seconds in her world, much to her dismay.

Nonetheless, he always thought those stories were too ‘girly’ in a lot of aspects. The romance always seemed too gooey for him, especially since the appeal of princesses and girls and royal heinouses never seemed entirely appealing.

The idea of saving her from a tower, of kneeling by her side, kissing her hand…

The thoughts led Craig’s eyes to trace over how Tweek was wrapped round his arm. His hands and fingertips left without jitters and constant worried writhing. At times, it felt entirely anew for him to see a version of Tweek this at ease, to see any rough edges soften further as if he was only capable of showing a few, if at all.

He wished Tweek could be wrapped in that peacefulness all of the time. 

Craig wondered if the gooey-ness he felt now was any similar to the one in Tricia’s stories that he felt nothing for prior.

“Okay,” he replied, feeling suddenly hyperaware of how geeky his voice was, “Sounds… Sounds good with me.”

“What’s on, anyway?” Tweek asked, picking his head up to look at his boyfriend. He was beginning to sense a gradual weight on his eyelids again. 

Tweek usually ran pretty hot, but there was a chill in the house that wouldn’t let up, and he could nearly feel it seeping inside each of his limbs. It didn’t necessarily make him shiver, but it was enough to fully fuel the lack of sleep he’s harbored for the past dozen nights. It also made him want to inch against Craig a little more for comfort. 

Funny enough, Craig often ran a bit more on the colder side, but he felt increasingly warm in this moment, and it was difficult for Tweek to separate himself from that.

Craig slipped his hand with Tweek’s mere seconds later, using his free one to retrieve and fiddle with the remote, keeping it at a low volume, “Just some Red Racer reruns. They’ve got some of my favorites lined up today. Usually the network plays them in order season to season, but they’re doing something different for the yearly anniversary since the show started airing. It’s the more popular episodes.”

Tweek let his head fall on Craig’s shoulder again, hearing a few clicks from the remote before he saw what Craig was talking about. 

Overall, he was surprised he could remain comfortable this way.

“I know you don’t watch it unless you’re here, but the two rivals I was telling you about last time, Gallagher and Hunnigan, everyone always says how the earlier seasons was the peak of their career, but I think it started to pick up more once Hunnigan reprised again later on after retiring, and I think a lot of the old heads can’t keep up with it, but some like the nostalgia.”

Tweek snorted, his eyes blinking slowly at the screen, “Old heads? You mean like people who’ve watched it forever? Wouldn’t that include you?”

“Just cause I’m in the double digits now doesn’t make me an old head, babe,” Craig replied, his gaze remaining on the TV, “I think I’m more of what people call a super fan. An expert.”

He could feel the small escape of Tweek’s laughter resonate against him, “Yeah, some crazy diehard expert.”

Tweek paused for a moment before speaking again, watching the array of crowd characters and racecars transition through each scene.

“D’you think if you were all grown up, like– do you think you can picture your adult self being some cool racecar driver?”

Craig looked at him for a second before settling back on the TV, his expression deep in thought, “Well, realistically, I don’t think I could ever go into something like that. It’s exciting enough to watch stuff like this here at home, and I guess the excitement would get sucked out of me if I actually had to go out there and do it myself.”

Tweek made a gentle acknowledgement in response, taking Craig’s words in as they were said to him. The images playing in front of him were beginning to slip away, as well as any intelligible line of thought. It was difficult to pinpoint what was even going on in the show, and his mind could only seem to narrow on the gentle uniformity of how Craig spoke.

“I mean, don’t get me wrong, maybe adult Craig in some sort of alternate timeline doesn’t give a damn and takes those laps to first place no problem,” Craig voiced aloud, though it was still difficult to really imagine, “But there’s a lot involved, I mean, my teammate would have to not be some douchebag. If it’s stupid hot outside, that uniform might have me crashing the car before I can even make the first turn. And… I don’t know. I would rather not risk getting ripped to shreds in some stupid collision.”

Tweek breathed out through his nose, his eyes barely peeking open, “Yeah, I wouldn’t want you to get hurt.”

Every feeling pieced together both internally and externally began to tunnel in and out. Tweek wasn’t exactly sure what he was keeping to himself and what he was saying out loud.

“I guess I would have a pretty sick ride though, as long as it stays intact” Craig commented, his crooked grin becoming increasingly visible from the idea, “And I guess this older Craig would look cool too, according to you.”

Tweek hummed, his eyes closing again, “Very handsome.”

The entire room seemed to turn still in Craig’s perspective. He watched silently as the TV continued. It clearly paid no mind to the two small boys bundled together, nor the relationship that tied around them so intricately with each passing day.

Craig’s mind dizzied itself with the very few words Tweek left for him, so much so that he could not ignore the way his stomach bloomed after a few short seconds passed with each insistent rewind. He could only hear the warmth of Tweek’s voice in his mind as his weight pressed on beside him.

For once, he didn’t think he could properly face his boyfriend. 

“The– uh, only thing I can imagine myself doing is something with the planets. Space. Something… where I get to sit down quietly observing and having, you know, maybe something of analysis data– I mean– God, data analysis.”

Craig was speaking quieter now, miserably failing to gather himself accordingly. If he had any sense of composure before, it was definitely wilting by now.

All he could think about was Tweek calling him handsome.

“I mean, with cars I suppose I can get real good at fixing things. Maybe they’d just stick me with the… the pit crew. But I think I’d rather just… the– uh, the astronomer stuff just seems real good to me right now. Well, if my grades ever pick up. I know I’m pretty interested in math, but…”

Jesus, I’m talking a lot.

Craig took a deep breath in, “What about you, Tweek?”

He waited, feeling the other boy remain still and silent next to him. He could only make out his gentle breathing as Tweek’s chest would gradually rise and fall beside him.

“Tweek?” Craig spoke again, barely above a whisper. He turned his head, blonde hair tickling his chin in the process before he could carefully observe the boy next to him.

He had remained entangled with Craig, tucked loosely around his arm as his head laid lazily against his shoulder with his eyes resting closed. Sleeping. Tweek’s mouth remained parted slightly, and Craig wondered if the boy had already started drooling.

It was strange that he never seemed to be grossed out or bothered by it.

Craig exhaled swiftly, bringing his other hand to promptly lower the volume on the TV. Thankfully, he could confidently say that he practically knew every word to these episodes, so this wasn’t really a problem.

He allowed himself to lean against Tweek, letting his limbs relax and tuning into the steady rhythm of the boy’s breathing. Craig felt nearly relieved in a way, even if it seemed like his endless rambling possibly bored his boyfriend to death. At least it worked to his benefit.

Craig shuffled around, attempting to get comfortable to the best of his ability. Their body heat was beginning to make him feel a little melted, and he could honestly barely pay attention to the finishing laps being dramatically showcased from the season 3 finale.

While he previously thought about whether or not he should wrap his other arm around Tweek, unsure if that would disturb or relax him, he was now only thinking about taking his own goddamn hat off. 

Only a few seconds passed before Craig discarded it completely, his hand remaining indecisive as it fooled between with his tampered pieces of hat hair to simply curling back into his jeans

Tweek twitched shortly after, his voice stirring for a moment before settling back into Craig.

He could barely register how much he was staying completely motionless before gathering how he should probably continue breathing. Like a regular person.

I didn’t even know Tweek liked doing stuff like this.

‘Stuff like this’ as in cuddling.

Craig let the air puff out through his nose, his eyes wandering off to the corners of his house, training his mind to remain perfectly at ease while his boyfriend finally managed to sleep. 

Right beside him. Clinging very closely.

And Craig had to find it in himself to believe he didn’t care all that much. Not really for his sake, but for Tweek’s, because if he so much as looked at the boy, he might start thinking about how nice it seemed to be resting here alone with him, as if the house was theirs, and that this must be what a married life might look like. 

If he thought about how his boyfriend held onto him now, he would think about the possibilities of how an older version of Tweek might hold onto an older version of him, several ends into the future where Tweek calls him things like ‘handsome’ and maybe it’ll come easier to that older version of himself that Tweek had pictured in his mind. 

And if he thought about the soft sounds of his breathing during sleep, and the occasional squirms he made, gaining every bit closer, Craig imagined his heart might grow far too loudly outside of him and wake Tweek completely off balance.

He could not have that.

Everything was far too nice and lined up together as it was meant to, and he was not going to be the one that would cause it to break.

Craig cautiously rested his head on Tweek’s again, burying his cheek onto his tangled strands of blonde hair. He breathed out again, wondering if he could soon match Tweek’s at any moment. Maybe he should try sleeping himself, if he could bring himself to actually close his–

A sudden, quiet rustling upstairs cut through his ongoing train of thought, leaving Craig to blink away the sound as if he may have imagined it. Unfortunately, the noise persisted, and it was one that was undeniably familiar to him. He almost instantly recognized it as an active guinea pig skittering around in his cage. 

God fucking dammit.

He pinched the bridge of his nose, completely annoyed with himself for forgetting to give Stripe a snack and some play time. He usually had a routine of doing so after he came home from school, going into his room to feed the little guy some lettuce before he went downstairs to get an afterschool snack for himself. A routine Stripe #4 seemed to grow accustomed to as well.

Now, Craig began to hear his small, chittering noises, and he knew there was absolutely no way of getting out of this, especially not now that he finally remembered.

Christ, what the fuck was he going to do? He couldn’t possibly try to remove himself from Tweek without keeping him from waking up, and though he’d usually just think of gently waking him up himself, he felt that it would just be… mean. Somehow. Which was not a thought that crossed Craig’s mind all that frequently. He felt hesitant on the matter even after he thought about being abundantly nice and apologetic about it.

Well, maybe that actually wouldn’t be too bad. It would be fine. He can just… get Tweek to fall asleep again.

He bumped his shoulder, nudging Tweek gently, “Hey…”

Craig spoke softly, watching as the other boy remained asleep and unmoving, “Tweek, honey, you gotta get up.”

There was already a small form of guilt brushing inside of him as the words left his mouth.

Tweek remained more or less still, stirring only slightly before falling back with ease as if Craig hadn’t said anything at all.

For an anxiety-ridden kid, he sure was a deep sleeper.

Maybe that’s why Tweek wouldn’t allow himself to fall asleep so much in the first place.

Craig’s thoughts continued. Maybe he could leave him here on the couch without much difficulty. He could probably even slip back with him again no problem.

He sighed, his weariness breathing out slowly with it. All this ‘probably’ and ‘maybe’ but no odds that created something certain. This was getting to his head far more than he had in mind. I mean, would he look like some kind of dick leaving Tweek here? Especially with the day he had? Shouldn’t he at least try to…

Should he try to carry him?

Craig let the idea sit in his mind, carefully turning himself a little closer towards Tweek for better access.

The other boy’s head was tilted up at him now, his cheek still pressing on his shoulder lazily while his mouth was shaped into a small pout. He continued to breathe quietly through his nose, and Craig paid close attention to how his lashes fell on the dark circles he made note of earlier today.

He stared at Tweek, letting the seconds pass while his eyes lingered on his features as he slept. It was rare that he was able to look at his boyfriend like this, at least, without any deliberate reaction that followed. Tweek often became particularly jumpy whenever he noticed he was under Craig’s gaze. He either developed a small set of tics that broke into some of his sentences, or his lips grew into an incredibly sheepish smile while he avoided any direct eye contact altogether.

Sometimes, Craig wondered if he was actively being weird, making Tweek react in various ways just by looking at him for as long as he wanted to.

He contemplated it even now, especially as he thought about how cute Tweek appeared next to him sound asleep.

I mean, all couples think and do this stuff, don’t they?

Craig could bring a few moments to mind of when he found Tweek staring at him, but the boy always seemed more uppity and embarrassed whenever his eyes would meet his back. Thankfully, Craig’s gaze would linger long enough to pick up on the small grin that would form on his boyfriend’s face after each and every one of those encounters.

Surely, he must be doing something right.

With an increasing amount of determination, Craig delicately maneuvered his hands to curl around Tweek’s body, one following the shape under his shoulders while the other hooked under his knees.

He himself was cornered into an awkward position, to say the least, so getting the proper footing deemed everything a bit more challenging.

Nonetheless, he breathed in the new urgency, carefully lifting Tweek up and– Jesus, this guy was heavier than he looked. Craig did his best to stand up straight, even after a bit of minor hobbling. He was able to settle Tweek into his arms almost comfortably, but he was embarrassed to admit it was not without some struggle. 

Don’t get him wrong, he did have a prominent height advantage on the guy since they’ve been in the 4th grade, and maybe he was considered pretty ‘strong’ by his peers, but he was still decently scrawny, and it seems it decided to show at the worst times.

Craig checked on Tweek again, who still appeared (surprisingly) completely knocked out, curling inwards towards him. The scenario he was currently in felt entirely unique and new to him, having someone he cared for be cradled this closely beside him, and to go out of his way to do so. Carrying Tweek like this had him recall an old, framed image of his parents’ marriage photos where his dad was holding up his mom in the way he was carrying Tweek now.

His face burned almost instantly at the correlation, but he decided to push the idea forward and away. He needed to begin walking before Tweek’s weight started to make his arms feel any heavier.

His stomach definitely felt pulled by all sorts of feathery things by now.

Navigating himself around the living room furniture, Craig made a beeline to the stairs, and suddenly realized he actually had to walk up them.

Fuck.

He could hear his own dad in his head, saying crap like “Remember to use your legs, son,” and “Whatever you do, it’s best to keep your back straight” and “Breathe in through your nose, out through your mouth.” All that junk.

Whatever he had to do, he was going to utilize every bit of it to keep Tweek (and him) from breaking anything.

Craig marched over cautiously, feeling the carpet under his feet with each steady step he took once he began walking up the stairs of his house.

He could still make out the minor racket Stripe must have been causing in his cage, which Craig almost called out to just by habit, but thankfully the predicament in his arms was being made consistently (and abundantly) clear, so he refrained from doing so.

But what began as pure luck and some sort of miracle accomplishment thus far didn’t seem to last much longer.

Tweek felt himself twitch, his brain suddenly deciding to render him conscious in the midst of nothing. His eyes hadn’t yet obtained the energy to open themselves, but his other senses picked up the pieces as best they could.

His mind gradually shook any remnants of sleep, feeling himself buried against what must have been a jacket and some cotton shirt. He breathed in the scent without much thought, taking in the familiar aroma of some breezy infused detergent. One he knew best as what Craig’s mom would use for laundry.

Craig.

Tweek’s mind was not fighting much else. His drowsiness granted his heart additional comfort once the realization arrived fully. Throughout this, he was also beginning to understand that Craig’s arms were holding his body up against him, causing Tweek to finally gather something to question.

Okay. I’m dreaming. This is a dream.

Knowing this much, on top of the fact that they didn’t seem to be moving, Tweek instinctually brought his arms around his boyfriend’s neck for further security, placing his head in the crook there.

He had little idea on how the simple gesture made Craig’s brain short circuit as soon as his fingers grazed his skin. He had already halted himself in the middle of the stairs once he felt and saw that Tweek was awake.

“Craig, what are you…” Tweek spoke raggedly, his eyes peering open only to see the view ahead of him.

There was a disorienting line of steps that descended downstairs. He watched this as he remembered how he was being carried, and that he was deeply unable to sustain a proper form of balance on his own.

His heart took off sprinting.

“Ack! Craig, what are you— Where are we going!?” Tweek shrieked over the boy’s shoulder, eyes popping out of his head while his arms suddenly gripped tightly around the other.

Craig grunted from the added heftiness of Tweek’s sudden state of alert, making a small ‘ugh’ noise before he was able to adjust the both of them again and continue up the stairs.

“My room,” he started, still trying to ignore the warmth all over his body that seemed to overstay its welcome, “I forgot to feed Stripe. He was starting to make noises when you were asleep. I didn’t want to wake you. So now we’re… I thought I should try taking you to my bed, at least.”

Tweek blinked, solidifying full abandonment of any sleepiness he had prior, “H- How did you even… How are you carrying me right now?”

“I’ve honestly been wondering the same thing,” Craig stated, feeling nearly breathless once he reached the top of the steps, “You’re not as light as I thought.”

He watched as Tweek pushed against his shoulders to look back at him, a not-so-hidden scowl on his face, “What’s that supposed to mean?”

Craig only continued to walk inside his room, spotting his attention-seeking rodent, “It means I probably need to start lifting.”

Tweek made a small, funny sound from his comment, not exactly expecting that answer, but Craig continued on before he could make a proper response for himself.

“I bet when we’re in middle school… I’ll be able to carry you around no problem.”

He wasn’t really sure why he felt the need to say stuff like this, but hearing the scratchy twinkle of Tweek’s laugh all of sudden made everything come together a little more.

“Are you kidding me, dude? I doubt you’ll be able to do it in high school.”

“Yeah, well, I bet by then I can even carry you on my shoulders.”

“You totally could not!”

“You can’t say that for sure. I guess we will have to wait a few years. You’re making a big mistake, babe. Did you forget who brought you up here?”

“Yeah, and you were the one huffing and puffing into your room just now!”

Craig decided to ignore the playful remark. He knew Tweek would be eating these words once they were teenagers, but until then, he would let him have this just this once.

He gently brought Tweek to the edge of his bed, watching as the other darted his eyes around the room, appearing flushed before he met his eyes again with a frivolous grin.

Craig felt relieved to see that face. 

“I’m sorry for waking you, honey,” Craig suddenly voiced, looking at his boyfriend earnestly while Tweek stared back at him with as much strength as he could muster, “But, also, you’re not allowed to leave this spot. I’ll be back in a second with a treat for Stripe.”

“Wh- Huh?!” Tweek’s eyes followed Craig’s hand when he motioned towards the bed before criss-crossing his legs over the comforter in a hurry as if everything else might be made out of lava, “What are you talking about?! Eugh– Is something bad going to happen?”

“No, nothing is happening, and nothing bad will happen,” Craig found that he actually was still trying to catch his breath from the short trek here, rolling his shoulders as he approached his door entrance again, “I actually just want you to think of things that can get you all sleepy again. And now that you’re in a bed, it should help more.”

Tweek felt lost at the request before he was capable of fitting the puzzle together again. Everything that had happened today. He decided to take in Craig’s words with the sincerity that he heard from his voice and saw within the minute expressions on his face.

“Also, I did just take you up here with my big, strong arms, and it would suck if–”

“Gah–! Okay, Craig, I get it!” Tweek’s voice shrilled with zero hesitation, covering his ears while his face became pink, “God, I don’t know how you can say all these embarrassing things!”

Craig only replied with a quick “Sorry, babe,” before his figure vanished from the doorway.

Tweek sat hunched over for only a few more moments before he decided to press his back against Craig’s bed. It almost felt reminiscent of the dreadful night he endured many hours ago, except everything in his environment now was present without any overwhelming filter or fearful exchanges. 

It was nearly serene, he would say.

He turned to face the wall, delicately curling into himself as he laid on top of the sheets. Tweek breathed in as calmly as he could manage, taking in each trace of Craig on the covers. It filled his senses while he tried to envelop himself in everything that could possibly lure him back to sleep.

His center. Good things.

Good things.

He breathed out, and Tweek could hear the sound of padded footsteps heading back up the stairs. His heart paced around happily as he anticipated Craig's arrival again. He couldn’t help but sit back up in a hurry, hands resting anxiously in his lap.

“M’back,” Craig announced, walking into the room with a small piece of lettuce.

Tweek tilted his head, remembering that Stripe was actually in the room.

“I keep forgetting you got another cage for him,” he stated, watching as Craig went on over to grab Stripe from his little hideaway, “Are you sure your parents are fine with him being in your room?”

Craig placed the small guy on the floor, letting him pick at his green snack, “They told me that I could keep him in this cage occasionally since I seemed to be acting more responsibly. Said that it might be because you got him for me, and I guess that’s true.”

He saw as the other wiggled his finger over the needy guinea pig, scratching at his fur lightly as Craig made quiet sounds at him.

The words made Tweek feel proud in some way, and he allowed those feelings to wash over him as he stared down at Craig kneeling around with Stripe.

Sometimes, Tweek swore he would even catch him making small faces at the little creature, but Craig would always deny ever doing that whenever he’d point it out.

Regardless, it made his heart sing a little bit, or a lot, maybe. His heart felt light. Like airy notes on a piano.

He continued watching him in the hushed room, counting the tiny moles on his face, looking at Craig’s collected expression, as well as his dark hair that he didn’t get to see all that much.

Tweek paused, taking in how sweet he looked before he decided to speak again.

“How come you don’t have your hat off more often?” Tweek questioned, his thoughts getting much too ahead of him.

Craig turned his head, puzzled, “Cause we live in Colorado and it’s kinda stupid cold outside?”

“Ugh, no, I mean— Yes, I know that, but…”

What was he trying to say, even?

“You have it on almost all the time, like… more than anybody else, probably.”

Tweek eventually went to lay on his stomach, resting himself on his arms as he waited for Craig’s response. He began to look at Stripe, whose cheeks shook with all his eager chewing.

“Well… I don’t really know. If I didn’t have it on me, it’d be weird, I guess. Like… My whole day would be out of whack,” Craig worded the sentence as if he was actively trying to figure it out, and maybe he was. He didn’t really know how to answer. Everything he did just felt normal. It didn’t pair with an explanation.

But it was Tweek who asked, so he would try his best to do so anyway.

“Nothing would feel right, especially if it was during a school day. It’s just part of what I do in the morning, and just thinking about not having it kind of… It’s just too weird. Everything would be wrong, and I wouldn’t know how to go about that.”

Tweek rolled each of Craig’s words into his mind, attempting to lay it out as neatly as he could before he could attempt to string out a proper response. And while a response never came, he was a little too hung on the fact that Craig wasn’t wearing said hat now. 

Should he go get it for him? Is he feeling weird and unhappy right now? How come he had it off now if—

“And before you ask, I only have it off ‘cause I was hot earlier.”

Though that was true, Craig failed to anticipate the questions that would follow it.

“But you like… never get hot?” Tweek said softly, his features slowly twisting into concern, “Oh, God, Craig– are you getting sick?!”

“No, honey, not getting sick. I just…”

Craig paused, the memories of his living room and all of the time shared earlier quickly flooding to his mind. 

He could feel Tweek’s gaze on him, and he unfortunately made the mistake of meeting it. Another ongoing habit. He could now see how the earthy colors in his eyes beckoned at him. 

Craig could do nothing more but look elsewhere. It was difficult to truly shy away from Tweek. He could likely stay staring at him for as long as he truly desired, but he found it difficult to summon a reasonable excuse this way.

“Was just our body heat mingling together for too long on the couch, I think.”

A half truth. He could more or less sound believable with half truths.

Tweek tilted his head again, sounding out the reason in his mind. He became a little warm as he remembered how shameless he was grabbing at Craig when they were in the living room. How he must have been when he fell asleep on him.

“Oh, Jesus, that’s so… I’m so…” Tweek brought his fingers through his hair, tugging at the tangles lightly as he squinted his eyes shut, “Eugh– just humiliating!”

Craig shuffled towards him, looking up at Tweek as he kneeled from the bed, “No, Tweek, it’s okay I… I liked it. Well, maybe not the ‘getting kind of sweaty’ part, but I really… It was nice. And I just wanted you to get some sleep. You’re okay. I’m just not used to that sorta stuff with anyone, and you know I usually am the one to try with you… It’s pretty rare that you… It was…”

Fuck, he was really giving his real reason away anyway. He saw how Tweek stared blankly at him, completely expectant with his cheeks dusted pink.

He was talking too much again. He wondered if the ground beneath him could suddenly pop open and swallow him whole. He needed to divert himself badly before he’d scare Tweek off.

“I– Uh… Did you feel comfortable at least? I mean you slept pretty–”

Craig felt a hand cup over his mouth before he could get the word out, his expression blowing a little wide as Tweek looked at him with big, glossy eyes. The boy’s whole face seemed to be drowned in embarrassment.

“No more!” Tweek responded in a hushed yelp, watching as Craig’s dark eyes looked back at him in near astonishment. They almost seemed to gleam at him.

Tweek could feel every heartbeat thudding beneath his chest. His own limbs felt as if they could fizzle away, and, even now, there was another set of sleepiness creeping behind his eyes. 

God, when was it gonna go away!?

“It was… I was comfortable! You’re really… I like…”

Tweek’s mouth shut, his lips furling with the embarrassment he felt everywhere.

He definitely couldn’t look at Craig anymore. 

He’s so used to doing the ‘friends’ stuff. The close friends stuff. Talking about things as if they were maybe like those inseparable pairs you’d find in movies or cartoons. But, at the end of the day, he knew all of this, and all of what he felt, and what he knew Craig felt, was always going to be more than that. 

It made him feel embraced just as much as it made him feel scared at times. He never wanted to mess any bit of this up.

He wanted to be a good boyfriend.

“Do you think you can get up here with me soon?” Tweek sighed, removing his hand away while he decided to focus on Stripe again. 

The guinea pig seemed to have chowed down on every morsel, now fiddling his way around the room in search of anything curious and fulfilling.

“I hope that means you’re ready to sleep again,” Craig replied earnestly, standing up to retrieve the small rodent, “I could probably take a nap, too.”

The response made Tweek smile, still unable to properly look at the other boy while he put their guinea pig back into his secluded space, “Yeah, okay.”

Craig spoke up again, watching as their shared guinea pig laid inside his little burrow, “I even think Stripe’s tuckered out.”

Tweek’s face muddled with confusion, giggles evident in his voice, “Tuckered out?”

The other boy had begun crawling beside him on the bed, and he could see the regret that suddenly overtook his features.

“Ugh, I knew I shouldn’t have said that,” Craig announced quietly, his tone remaining dull as he pushed himself against a pillow, “My dad says it all the time. Sometimes I forget that the whole joke of it is that our last name is Tucker.”

He breathed out, feeling as Tweek moved beside him as well, laying himself down while he remained sitting up. He watched as the smaller boy mindlessly fidgetted with the buttons on his sleeve.

“Well, I’m sure it sounds funny coming from him,” Tweek said aloud, hesitance and endless thoughts creasing his speech, “But… It was kind of sweet when you said it.”

Craig raised an eyebrow, looking at Tweek with no particular end in sight, “It was?”

He heard Tweek make a funny sound, watching as the other shifted his weight around the bed restlessly.

“Yes, okay, and– ngh, and don’t make me repeat it!”

Craig continued to stare. Tweek had anxiously tucked his arms away at his sides now. 

“Okay.”

A few seconds passed with the two boys remaining quiet in each other’s company. Tweek watched as the ceiling fan spun, his eyes getting caught on one of the wings as it moved around before he got frustrated and wandered towards something else.

His vision planted itself on the guinea pig cage from afar, wondering if Stripe had already managed to shut his eyes.

“Craig, do you think Stripe thinks we’re his real parents?” Tweek said quietly, his voice sounding gentle as it moved through the room.

He heard his boyfriend hum beside him, “Maybe if we were guinea pigs, he would. I think he probably sees our faces and knows that we’re people who take care of him.”

Craig stopped for a moment, thinking about it further, “Or… If that is the case… Maybe he does see us as his parents.”

Tweek glanced at Craig, making a thoughtful sound. He hoped what he imagined was the closest to reality. It made him wonder if he makes Stripe feel comfortable and safe. If he made him feel taken care of. He couldn’t help but think of all the ways he’s gone about this since he bought the tiny pig for Craig. 

It wasn’t too often that he’d be able to take care of him in his own home, especially with his sporadic house life and unclear schedule. The tireless school assignments, his messy room, his stupid parents’ stupid coffee shop. It didn’t take Craig long to understand this either, and he always appeared more than okay to have Stripe near him in his house.

Stripe also seemed to sleep plenty as a guinea pig should. Without stress and without struggle. He wondered if Stripe felt at ease and blanketed in Craig’s house just as much as he did.

“Hey, Tweek?”

He felt Craig moving beside him, and Tweek turned his head as the other decided to lay down on top of the blankets beneath them.

“Yeah?”

“How come… How come you don’t get enough sleep at night?”

Their bodies were positioned only a few inches apart, resting next to each other as Craig looked back at him gently.

Tweek broke himself apart from that gaze, catching himself staring at the ceiling again while he tried to ignore the fears that stuck their teeth into his answer.

He observed the small, scattered clusters of glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling. He guessed that Craig and Mrs. Tucker had yet to finish sticking them all. He forgot all about Craig mentioning that to him last weekend.

“Because– eugh, because there’s always so much happening. There’s always something I have to be worrying about.”

“Like what?”

Tweek turned to Craig again now, completely perplexed by what he deemed to be a ludicrous question. Craig only continued to look at him with the same steadiness that his eyes held so easily, and he found it difficult to be sour when his boyfriend’s face looked oddly sweet.

“Like– Well, let’s first say I try to go to sleep. Sometimes, if I close my eyes, my brain is either imagining all these demands of school and my parents and the whole world happening behind my eyelids, or it’s worrying that those things will come to life right in front of me all over again if I do open my eyes.”

He could feel his tics begin to start, especially once his head jerked against the pillow and his hands tugged at the same pocket of his button-up. 

“If that isn’t happening, then– ack, my brain begins to get lost in these terrifying scenarios of everything possible and impossible. Ngh– It can be my dad’s voice in my head, of awful strangers that could be hiding away in our house– in my room! And if that isn’t enough, I’ll start to wonder about stupid things. Like, imagine if crazy, spikey objects ever shot up someone’s bed? What if I was the first one? And, Craig, I– I know that can’t happen, but my brain, it’s looped! I can get so sleepy too, so it’s so hard to just– to make sense of every…”

Craig navigated his hand across the covers, soon finding Tweek’s to meet his own. It caught Tweek off guard at first, but then he found himself slowly swiveling his body to face him, bringing their hands to rest between their faces.

He didn’t hear Craig say anything, but he felt that could truly look at him now, watching his soft expressions as his thumb caressed his own. It was as if looking at Craig was the only thing in his vision that would ground him.

He couldn’t help but ramble on.

“And you know how people get sleep paralysis? They feel like they can’t move and they’re stuck between their dream world and the real world? Well, everything I feel at night time– when awake, just… just feels like that.”

Craig continued to look at him, questions still buffering in his mind, and he believed it was a little challenging to know which one would be the best to say.

This was still a new feeling for him. Caring about what the hell you say to someone, how you come across, and hoping it brings some sort of any substantial impact.

And for Tweek’s sake, comfort.

“That all sounds scary,” is what he settled with, his voice genuine as his mind began to finally pick something he wanted to ask, “Is there anything that you think helps you fall asleep?”

Tweek could feel his racing thoughts slow with each word that Craig said to him, making sure to focus on every statement and question.

It helped that said question let his brain shift to something nicer.

“Y- Yeah! I…” he trailed off, squeezing Craig’s hand with eagerness before his body resided in something calm again, “I try to… bring myself to think about things that make me happy. My doctor told me that taking control on anything good could help.”

“Okay, so, let’s talk about stuff you like.”

Craig talked to him as if this conversation was the most normal thing in the world, even if he wasn’t used to having any of these problems on his own. He actively paid attention to him in ways nobody else seemed to tune into properly. Everyone in town always made him feel as if every single thing and emotion he harbored wasn’t and couldn’t be there at all. It would always mutate internally in a way that felt demeaning and stupid and… frustrating!

He breathed in carefully, attempting to get lost in each thought, “Um… There actually is– okay, music, I like music. There was a collection of pieces from Holst I listened to recently… ‘The Planets,’ which reminded me of you a lot, even though it’s a whole orchestra thing. It’s… I don’t know, it's so movie-like. You probably would’ve liked the Jupiter one best, or Mars. They’re so bold and bright and full and made me think of the OSTs from one of your sci-fi movies. Or was it a video game? I can’t remember which...”

Craig grinned, a hint of interest in his tone, “It’s okay, babe, I’m sure I can listen to it later and figure it out.”

“Huh? You’ll listen to it?” Tweek looked at him a little closer now, his voice more soft spoken and amazed, “Seriously?”

“Well, yeah. I mean… I know I haven’t really been a big fan of all that classical music stuff, especially with Mr. Romero banging me over the head with a violin, but… I think when you talk about it, it just feels… I don’t know. Everything boring about it suddenly feels not boring.”

Tweek let out a small burst of laughter, the sound of his voice squeaking in the process, “Wow, Craig. So romantic.”

“Wasn’t trying to be,” Craig remarked defensively, except he couldn’t seem to hide the way the corners of his mouth broke into a smile, “So… Which planet had your favorite song?”

Tweek stared at him for a moment, blinking slowly as he heard an array of each piece chiming in his mind.

“Venus, for sure. With each song I couldn’t help but imagine small scenes in my head with all of them, and… Venus was like… calm rivers, gentle winds, fireflies, sunsets, and just… so many trees that kind of hugged around everything, but the trees wouldn’t feel dark or scary. It’d feel like… It’d feel like they’d take you somewhere safe. Somewhere that maybe feels like love, or– ugh, it’s so weird to say it out loud.”

“Not weird,” Craig spoke again, wording himself evenly, “Venus is the brightest planet. It’s the one you can see from Earth a bunch in the nightsky. And, even though that planet doesn’t inhabit all the nice Earth stuff you mentioned, they still get compared to each other a lot. I mean, in reality, it’s like, crazy hot with crazy winds and a super dense atmosphere, but it’s… It's also the planet of love to some people, ‘cause of some Roman goddess, so you’re not completely off.”

Tweek looked at Craig, taking in his words before he closed his eyes. It was like he could hear all the orchestrated sounds of Venus in his ears.

“It did sound pretty lovey dovey.”

“Seems like it,” Craig commented, his eyes falling on their joined hands again, “Do you think you like stuff like that?”

He saw the boy in front of him open his eyes. Craig wondered if Tweek’s eyelids were drooping a little more.

“Yeah, I think I do,” Tweek said gently, still rummaging around in his own thoughts, “Do… Do you?”

The question warranted Craig to recall each princely-related image he had invading his mind earlier. It was almost embarrassing how much the thoughts had hooked onto him.

Almost.

“Yeah. I think I’ve been starting to get it now,” Craig stated, feeling certainty bloom within him. 

He couldn’t help but sit with those feelings, something that was initially uncomfortable and arguably overwhelming when it first came to him those few months ago. It all felt different as they began to make everything theirs, and it felt special to be able to be here with Tweek like this.

It isn’t as if he would ever expect to dislike spending time with his boyfriend, but he always seemed to underestimate every new feeling that would arise from simply being together.

Feelings he could only read as truly understanding his feelings for him.

“Hey, honey, do you think I can try something?” Craig requested suddenly. Both of his hands had been hugging around Tweek’s now.

The light in Tweek’s eyes reveled curiously despite the drowsiness that was beginning to absorb him. His heart didn’t seem to pick up the unfamiliarity of the question until his brain could finally put two and two together.

Try something? What… What is he talking about? Oh, God, what does that mean?! Are we gonna… Is he gonna try to kiss me?! On the mouth?! I’m not– Are we ready for that? I’m not! I’m totally not–!

It was Craig’s turn to draw himself pinkish from how bizarre Tweek looked back at him, and it quickly put the way he spoke into question. Something tells him this is not the first instance he has done this. How many times was he going to do this to himself?

“Sorry– uh, nothing weird. At least, I don’t think it’s weird,” Craig continued, breathing out as he tried to talk and reason with the boy in front of him, “It’s… It’s to see if it can make you sleepy.”

He paused again, tied between speaking and showing.

“If I just…” Craig disconnected his hand that laid on top of Tweek’s knuckles, gradually bringing his index finger between the center of Tweek’s forehead, “Put my finger here, and then…”

He carefully slid it over the bridge of his nose until he met the tip of the small, downturned shape, “Bring it down here, and do that about a hundred times then… Maybe it’ll trick you into closing your eyes for a while.”

Craig retrieved his finger back, seeing as Tweek’s eyes appeared a little funny as he followed the motion in a strange anticipation. He’d definitely have to hold himself from mentioning it outloud.

“O- Okay, that’s…” Tweek said with a slight shake in his voice, trying to contain every sweet feeling he felt peskering inside him, “That’s pretty normal.”

“Yeah, it’s something I got from my mom when I was little. More little,” Craig corrected, his pace steady as he moved his finger back to the shape of Tweek’s nose, repeating the process, “I would watch Mom do that to Tricia when she was a baby, and it’d really put her to sleep. Sometimes I catch myself doing it to Stripe, and he has a cute face when his eyes are closed.”

Tweek’s nose scrunched up, unable to keep his smile out, “Okay, but I’m not really a baby or a guinea pig, Craig.”

“No, you’re not,” he stated, mirroring Tweek with a small grin, “But you sure do have a cute face when you sleep.”

Tweek’s heart fluttered madly from the comment, and his words could only sputter nonsensically as he blinked fervently back at Craig, “Wh- Huh?! You– You were watching me sleep?!”

Now, there’s the reaction he would have gotten a while ago had Tweek been awake when he was looking at him.

I deserve this.

“Yes, Tweek, I was,” Craig continued, desperately trying to ignore the stagnant heat on his face, “I like looking at you.”

The words were spilling from him before he could think to say anything else.

Tweek turned half of his face into the pillow, his hand clenching around Craig’s frantically, “Oh, Jesus, Craig– Why would… Argh!”

“Sorry, honey,” Craig apologized nasally, moving his other hand to gently push back the flyaways on Tweek’s face, “Is… that okay?”

“Huh?” Tweek peered back at him again, his voice croaking a bit as his free hand met Craig’s, “Y- Yeah, yes, it’s… I just… I get surprised that you can just say this stuff to me, and… It makes my heart feel so much, but– but it’s not a scary feeling. I really…”

Tweek’s vision scattered until he couldn’t help but look into Craig’s warm eyes again, “I really like looking at you too.”

Craig’s expression brightened a bit, taken aback by the words while his pulse picked up in large doses. It suddenly wasn’t difficult at all for him to understand the feelings Tweek was trying to convey.

“Oh,” he blurted slightly, making short attempts to gather himself, “That makes me really happy.”

“It does?” Tweek asked quietly, his smile turning around again.

Craig drew back from his hair, brushing his index finger alongside his boyfriend’s cute nose again.

“Yeah,” he breathed out softly, each feeling wrapping around him with ease as he watched Tweek’s nerves settle.

They stayed like that for awhile, and Tweek began to wonder if Craig was actually counting the amount of times that he’s been swiping over his nose. He felt a little ridiculous, being subjected to it, but he couldn’t dismiss how his eyes on Craig were beginning to feign. 

Tweek could feel each note of sleep presenting itself to him. Every breath he took felt remarkably slower than the last, and each rhythmic contact that Craig offered him could be felt with every heavy blink that followed. 

At times, Tweek would allow himself to rest his eyes, but it wouldn’t be before long until they decided to pry open again, each time more difficult than the last. 

Though he could feel himself slipping away, his body asking for sleep time and time again, he could sense the relief that would swell in his heart every time he saw that Craig remained in front of him.

How his expressions were soft and focused.

Tweek wanted to relish in this moment for as long as he was awake. To feel Craig’s gentle motions on his skin and his firm palm in his grasp. Every inhale guaranteed him this security. A comfortable scent that surrounded him generously, and it laid as another indication that Craig was close by beside him. 

There would be instances where this attempt at sleep would draw in scary thoughts by habit, but they hardly had time to fully materialize. Tweek took notice that he would always be allowed to breathe again.

He shifted a little closer to Craig by instinct, finding it easy to slowly shut his eyes again.

“Hey, babe?” Craig whispered into the quiet.

Tweek hummed in response, his energy dwindling.

“Was there anything that made you fall asleep so easily earlier?” He asked, his voice remaining hushed, “Was your brain on something good?”

He heard as Tweek made a small sound again. Something that definitely sounded like a ‘yes’.

“Yeah?” Craig questioned, his curiosity getting the best of him, “What… What was it?”

A brief silence filled the room, and it didn’t take long for Craig to accept that he would be perfectly content with that.

Before he could really compute anything else, his belief that the other had been swept by sleep became wrong as well.

“It was you.”

Tweek’s response dozed off into the room, but it was enough to make Craig’s movements stop entirely. His heart felt taken over by the very sound and sincerity of Tweek’s voice.

It was you.

Craig couldn’t quite keep up with everything of his boyfriend that wrapped each fuzzy, strange feeling around him. He could only determine that he was unbelievably happy.

Tweek opened his eyes again, watching Craig with very few thoughts left in his mind, “Can we… Can we hug while I sleep?”

A simple ‘yes or no’ question. Craig felt as if his answer traveled from his brain to the tips of his toes.

He could not be more sure of anything else.

“Come here,” Craig replied softly, his arms opening up as Tweek moved in closer against him.

They connected together seamlessly, finding an immediate security in one another as their hearts sprung around in the foreign closeness.

Tweek’s pulse ran rapidly, feeling Craig rest himself on his forehead while he wrapped his arms around his back. Every part of him felt tingly and everything nearly felt like the sequence of a dream he’d actually be able to enjoy.

He pulled himself a little closer to Craig, his hands holding onto the backside of his shirt while sleep persisted through his every breath and movement. Tweek settled himself in the space of his boyfriend’s shoulder as he felt the soothing rhythm of a hand that traveled up and down his spine.

There was so much pouring in and out of him and yet he didn’t have the energy to utter a single word. His body seemed to search and obtain a sense of ease without him actively trying. He wanted to focus on every little thing, every little feeling, but each thought in his brain only softened further and buried itself in the embrace he held with his boyfriend now.

His eyes slipped closed, giving way for very little in return.

Craig is so warm. He’s so sweet. I like him so much. And he likes me so much. He likes me. He likes me.

The leaks of light from the late afternoon had been seeping through the blinds, and Craig was gradually getting his heartbeat to a well-adjusted pace. 

It was strange. He couldn’t entirely comprehend how… intense having a boyfriend could truly feel, but not in a way that he believed was taxing or grueling or exhausting. It was just difficult to wrap his mind around how close Tweek wanted to be near him, even when deprived of sleep, and he found it additionally puzzling to understand how his own voice fell from his mouth like honey in a sudden urgency to say “yes” to his boyfriend and nothing else.

Each day, Craig would learn time and time again that he wanted to be there for Tweek in absolutely anything. In every instance that he could alleviate the unwanted ideas and thoughts that etched its way into Tweek’s mind, he couldn’t help but relish in every smile that would take place because of him.

Being here with Tweek now, there were feelings in his chest that could dissipate within him, but never let go. 

He continued to replay Tweek’s voice in his mind as he felt the boy’s chest rise and fall against him. Craig fell into further relaxation with each expectant rhythm. His hand continued to run along Tweek’s back before it eventually made its way into the matte ends of his hair. 

He began to eye the strands that fell at his forehead, and he didn’t seem to fully process what he was thinking until the pace of his heart began to pick up again.

Craig exhaled through his nose, hoping his voice would sound even, “Tweek?”

His voice settled above a whisper, but still, no response was made.

The other boy continued to breathe in and out with sleep lingering heavily around him. 

Craig’s fingers continued to delicately stroke through his scalp, soon brushing the front pieces of blonde hair to the side.

In great, tentative motions, he brought his lips to Tweek’s forehead, too nervous to truly press himself against the skin there, but just enough to where he could make contact. He gradually closed his eyes at the touch, staying there for a few seconds until his bravery allowed him to leave a light kiss before retreating entirely.

He looked back at Tweek closely, watching his face as his features were overcome by sleep.

His thumb caressed the top of his cheeks, and Craig’s eyes gradually fell closed from the sight.

. . .

The ride back to Tweek’s house was quiet, but the two boys were much too accompanied by the giddiness between them to really comment anything aloud.

Nighttime snuck into each part of town, and both of their bellies were full from a hearty dinner that only Craig’s mom would hope covered all the basic nutrition groups.

The radio was on some 90s pop that Laura Tucker happened to be increasingly fond of as she sang it softly to herself. The song on its own was bubbly and infused with romance throughout every verse, and it couldn’t help but be heard from the backseat as well.

Tweek and Craig sat quietly there, their hands laid out between each other as they exchanged knowing looks and bashful smiles. Craig’s palm was facing up on Tweek’s lap, watching as the other traced his finger up and around each digit and line.

Their heads leaned into each other, resting for the short moment while Tweek eventually brought his hand to lay flat on top of Craig’s, palm-to-palm.

It was an easy gesture, one that caught both of their attention.

“Your hands are kind of small,” Craig stated, his voice breaking the silence in the backseat.

Tweek looked back at him unamused, “They are not! It’s not even centered properly, look–”

He shifted his hand around, making sure their palms aligned properly, “See, if you just…”

Tweek wiggled his fingers a little bit more, noticing that he could still make out his boyfriend’s fingertips beneath him.

“Yeah, I’m totally winning this,” Craig cut in, turning to Tweek with his crooked teeth peeking out.

He could hear Tweek click his tongue beside him, taking his hand away, “This isn’t some competition, man! You’re not winning anything.”

“If beating me at arm wrestling in 3rd grade counts then I think I should be able to say that I beat you at hand sizes,” Craig replied, taking his boyfriend’s hand back into his own.

“You’re stupid,” Tweek said, watching as he settled their palms back together, “Arm wrestling is actually like– a legit game!”

Craig had to admit he was being ridiculous about this, the comparison was totally bogus, but it was only because he enjoyed seeing what would make Tweek a little grumpy, “Doesn’t seem that legit if I can pick you up and you can barely lift me off the ground.”

Without thinking, Craig sifted his fingers in between Tweek’s, following them to gradually interlock their hands together.

“That’s only ‘cause you– you’re all tall and heavy with Iron Giant limbs and it’s not my fault if…”

Tweek’s eyes remained stuck on the way their hands were joined, and his brain failed to recall if they had ever held hands like this before. 

It might have been stupid for his heart to grow exponentially from the sight of it, or from the sudden realization, but he was so used to them holding hands one way, and this felt more…

More… 

Tweek became pink in the face, and for once he thanked every star in the sky for the sun being out during the evening so that Craig couldn’t see all the embarrassing colors on his cheeks. It was always so easy to tell when he had become flushed.

Craig would hardly point it out, and much less make fun of him for it, but it was still humiliating to even be aware of it himself.

The other boy in question took notice to Tweek’s silence, as well as what he was looking at, and it did not take long for him to feel a quiet jump in his heart while every other part of his brain caught on.

They both turned away from each other then, basking in their secret bliss and hiding their timid smiles while Mrs. Tucker lowered down the radio before speaking.

“You sure you don’t wanna stay over, Tweek?” She asked, glancing at the small boy in the rear view mirror, “Craig was telling me that he wanted you to, but I’m not sure if your parents–”

“Mom, you can’t just say…” Craig brought his hand over his eyes, somehow finding it in himself to not dissolve into tiny pieces, “God.”

Tweek whipped his head around to Craig and then back to Mrs. Tucker, feeling uncertain who to pay attention to, “N- No, I, uh… I mean– I would really love to! I just can’t today. I really…”

“Oh, don’t even worry about it, there’s always next time!” Laura chirped encouragingly, “But please know Thomas and I will always love having you over, especially Craig here, even if he doesn’t like to admit it.”

“Mom!”

“Okay, okay, I’m sorry hon,” Laura confessed aloud, her tone briefly apologetic while she parked her car by the Tweak’s house, “Alright boys, looks like we’re here.”

The older woman turned over to them, her eyes kind and her voice serene, “Well, whenever you wish to come over again, just let us know, okay?”

She turned to Craig then, her expression a little more stern, “Be a gentleman and walk Tweek out, Craig, it’s almost completely dark now.”

“Already way ahead of you,” Craig replied with irritation biting his tongue. He reached over to Tweek’s side to open the car door, speaking softly towards him as they unbuckled their seatbelts, “Let’s go.”

Tweek looked at him with wide eyes before climbing his way out without another thought. He couldn’t help the vibrant feelings that came with the mere idea of Craig asking for him in secret and becoming flustered once being found out.

He watched as Craig hopped out of the car, wasting no time to shut the door behind him as he took a moment to collect himself. He still couldn’t seem to shake how mortified he felt, and felt much less capable of facing his boyfriend.

“Sorry about that,” Craig began, his hands buried in his pockets as his vision stayed loyal to the ground, “She’s just–”

“I didn’t know you wanted me to stay.”

With all of his strength, Craig couldn’t help but pick his head up at the sound of Tweek’s voice.

“Yeah, I… I did– or do. It’s uh…” Words continued to lose him, and there was little to nothing that he could properly connect together, “You’re… You’re sure you can’t?”

Tweek shook his head, a remorseful look on his face, “List of chores my parents want me to do. I don’t even think they’d let me go over again this weekend if they aren’t done.”

Craig didn’t say anything for a moment, but that didn’t last long, “Do you think they’d let me come over to your house? Maybe I can help out.”

Tweek blinked at him, excitement glossing over his eyes briefly, “You’d… Y- You want to?”

“Yeah, I don’t see why not.”

He stared again, delight burrowing in his every word.

“Okay, okay, I’ll… I’ll ask them!”

Craig couldn’t help but grin from the response, soon taking Tweek’s hand as they made sure to walk without hurry towards the front door.

“You think you got some good sleep earlier?” Craig questioned, “Sorry my mom had to wake us up for dinner.”

Tweek glanced back at him, quickly shaking his head, “No, it’s– it’s okay! I… I slept great. It was… It was really nice. Thank you, Craig.”

“No problem, babe.”

He looked over to Tweek again, seeing as his twitches were beginning to seep through his movements.

“You gonna be okay for tonight?”

“Huh? Oh, um– yeah! I mean… Well…”

As they grew closer to the door, the presence of his house was beginning to loom over him, and the night time was becoming impossible to ignore.

He had to say something. Absolutely anything.

“I actually… Last night when I– eugh, when I couldn’t sleep I… I thought about calling you, or texting you, but… I couldn’t bring myself to do it, especially since we’ve never done that before, and I guess I was just– I wanted to ask… If even for a little bit, that we could…”

Craig stared at him, “You want me to call you later?”

“Ack– Yes! But only if… Only if you want to, y’know? I just… Especially after everything today, I really think that… Getting to hear your voice will make everything just…”

They had reached the door, and Tweek wasn’t sure if he could fully turn towards Craig. If he could fully get the words out.

He eventually managed to look back at him, catching a muted sparkle in the gentle shape of his eyes.

Tweek wondered if the angle of the front light was making that happen, or if it was from the full moon that fell over them.

Nonetheless, it would only remind him of the stars Craig would talk about.

“I think hearing your voice will just make everything feel less scary.”

He watched as Craig stood still, his gaze continuing to glisten back at him without moving all while Tweek’s fingers twitched for a response.

“But– You don’t have to if you don’t want to! I didn’t want to fill my head with the expectation that you’d say yes, but I… I at least wanted to–”

“I want to.”

The words came back to him without warning, and it was suddenly Tweek’s turn to stand still.

“You… Really?”

He looked at Craig closely, his eyes wandering over each feature as he searched for a confirmation.

Craig could only tilt his head at him, his face a mixture of endearment and confusion.

“How bad of a boyfriend am I that you keep getting surprised when I want to do something with you?”

“Wha– No! It’s not that. It’s only that I keep forgetting you… I still– agh, get surprised sometimes. About everything.”

Tweek looked at their joined hands, disconnecting them only for a second so that he could close their fingers in between each other again.

“You’re actually a really awesome boyfriend.”

Before Craig’s mind could take in anything, he felt Tweek’s free hand steady at the base of his shoulder, noticing a change in his weight as he tiptoed closer to him.

Tweek pressed his lips on the warmth of Craig’s cheek. His affections were featherlight and quick, but it decided to ghost along the boy’s skin for much longer. 

Craig looked at him with large eyes when he retrieved back, raising his hand to his now-kissed cheek while Tweek covered his mouth upon the realization of what he just did.

Despite the frantic nature of their hearts, they couldn’t seem to tear their eyes away from each other.

Or move a single inch, for that matter.

In some magical feat, Tweek managed to speak first.

“Okay, well– I’m gonna…” He motioned towards his door with uncertain eyes, hands digging in his pockets as he searched for the house key.

From beside him, Tweek almost jolted from the arms that came around his body, pulling him close for a hug.

“You can call me later, okay?” Craig announced suddenly, his voice hushed as he spoke into Tweek’s neck, “I’ll text you.”

“Okay,” Tweek breathed out, unable to fully register how Craig was wrapped around him.

He pulled away before Tweek could manage to hug him back, looking at each other with the same glittering eyes from before.

“Goodnight, honey.”

“Goodnight, Craig.”

They tried and failed to hide any hint of their shy smiles as Tweek finally managed to open his front door, exchanging soft goodbye’s and goodnight’s and timid waves until they were no longer in each other’s line of sight.

Tweek would receive his text and Craig would receive his call. What was promised to last around 30 minutes became an hour as they talked of videogame soundtracks and characters peeled from storybooks and dreams of growing older in hopes that they’d be close like this all of the time.

Maybe even more so.

But first they would make sure to fall asleep, making way for the tomorrow that would certainly come.