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Andy sat in the middle of the floor of the bus cross-legged with shaking hands. Anxiety plagued his mind and dread covered him entirely. He could feel the panic attack coming before it even started.
His vision started going black and blurry around the edges where tears threatened to form.
Andy had made the mistake of opening his and Ashley's text threads.
Ashley had become an absolute twat, not that he wasn't already, but now he had directed all of his outbursts at Andy for no good reason.
He's right, a voice in the back of Andy's head said. You're the reason the band is falling apart. You're too fucking soft. Now, everyone fucking hates you.
"No," he whispered, bringing his knees up to his chest and hugged them tightly. "Go away, go away, go away." He screwed his eyes shut and put his forehead on his knees as tears started to fall down his face and his breaths became sharper. His hands tangled themselves in his hair, tugging the strands painfully.
Andy started rocking slightly and his breaths became quicker and shallower, his chest rising and falling fast as he tried to suck air into his lungs. Sobs wrecked his body as he hyperventilated and he forced himself to become smaller than he already was.
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"Where the fuck is he?!" Ashley screamed at the crew, officially pissed off because Andy was late to the sound check.
"We don't know," one of the crew members said. "He isn't answering his phone."
"Ugh!" The bassist threw his arms up. "What a fucking waste of a frontman."
"He's probably still on the bus talking to his mom," Jake reasoned, as that's how they'd left him. "I'll go and check on him."
"Yeah, you go do that. Kick his ass when you get on that damn bus for me," Ashley said, rolling his eyes as Jake put his guitar down.
"Whatever," Jake muttered and left the venue, walking around to the bus. He put the code in and opened the door, walking on quickly.
"Hey, Andy! We kinda need you, bud," Jake called, moving through the bus. No answer.
That's weird, Jake thought. Andy would usually come bounding here by now.
Jake walked to the back of the bus where the lounge was. "Andy?" He called softly. He raised his hand to knock and froze - on the other side of the door was sobbing.
Shit, he thought and opened the door. There was Andy, sitting with his back to the door, his shoulders shaking violently and his head buried in his knees.
"Andy?" Jake reached an arm out and placed it on the frontman's shoulder. Andy jerked away violently but melted into Jake's touch when he kept his hand there.
"Hey, what's the matter?" The guitarist asked softly, moving to crouch in front of Andy.
The singer looked up momentarily before pouncing onto Jake, gripping the back of his shirt with all his strength as he sobbed into Jake's shoulder.
"It's all my fault, it's all my fault," the singer repeated through sobs, slightly muffled by Jake's shoulder.
The guitarist wrapped his arms around Andy, his heart breaking at the state of the singer.
"What's all your fault?" Jake coaxed gently.
"All of this!" Andy shouted, conpletely breaking down again. "It's all my fucking fault that we're falling apart."
"No, it isn't," Jake whispered, raking his hand through Andy's hair. "Nothing's your fault, Andy. It's going to get better."
"It won't," Andy said, tightening his grip around the guitarist.
"No - hey," Jake said, cupping Andy's cheek and making the singer look at him. "We'll get through this, okay? Hey - deep breaths."
Eventually, Andy's breathing evened out and he calmed down a lot. He wiped away the remaining tears on his face with his hand and untangled himself from Jake.
"Was it..?" Jake didn't need to finish his sentence before Andy was nodding. He grabbed his phone from the couch behind him and put it on the floor in front of Jake. The guitarist read the messages, taking in all of the verbal and emotional abuse their bassist had sent the frontman.
"Fuck, I knew it was bad, but I didn't know it was this bad," he finally said, quietly. "Andy, why didn't you say anything?"
"It doesn't concern you guys, I only showed you because you asked," Andy said plainly.
"I am going to kick that motherfucker's ass, and then yours; you should've told us!" Jake said, wrapping an arm around Andy's shoulders.
"I figured that out a couple days ago, but it got like that and I didn't see the point," the frontman explained, leaning into Jake. The guitarist sighed, stroking Andy's arm.
"Come on, we need to go," Jake said, pulling Andy to his feet. "I think if we stay on this bus any longer, he might actually fucking kill us, never to be seen again."
Andy laughed hoarsely at the joke and bumped into Jake playfully, who looked at the singer incredulously before shoving him back. He giggled and chased after Jake as he ran off the bus.
"Come back here, you little fucker!" Andy yelled after him, making the guitarist laugh harder.
"Hurry up! We need to do the soundcheck," he teased, making Andy shake his head.
"Alright, you win, motherfucker," Andy sighed, defeatedly.
"You owe me twenty."
"For what?!" The frontman exclaimed.
"For losing, duh." Jake laughed when Andy swatted his arm playfully.
"Fuck you," he said, smiling.
Jake sighed. "Let's get this over with."
"Yep," the singer replied as they walked into the venue. Hopefully this will go quickly, Andy thought.