Chapter Text
Sunlight streams brightly through the windshield, casting a warm, clear daytime glow over the car’s weathered interior and illuminating the busy Scottish street just outside the shop window, where passersby hustle past on the sidewalk.
Right in the center of the rearview mirror, a noticeable chip in the glass is covered by a small piece of dark tape. Down on the dashboard, a single exposed nail sticks up where a shoelace is wrapped tightly around it to hold the stubborn glove box door shut. At the center of the steering wheel, a distinct thin crack runs right across the plastic—a subtle reminder of why the horn hasn't worked in years.
“Okay,” James calls, turning to serve up the drinks. “These are the Dragon Light Buzz Honeydukes collaborated with the Leaky Cauldron.”
Sirius turns, picking up his drink and excitedly tapping his nails at the side effect before ducking his head to take a large gulp.
“We're supposed to cheer!” James complains, leaning over the gearshift to tackle the drink from him.
Sirius's head tilted away as his cheeks hollow out before slipping from the straw with a wet pop. He turns with a broad grin, opening his mouth in a burp directly at James's face.
James, his eyes narrowed at the extra air, smacks Sirius across the cheek.
Sirius, chuckling, leans back in the front seat, reaching down to recline his chair, another burp escaping him as he continues to grin to himself.
“Come on, Sirius, he's trying to do it for his video,” Remus explains, his voice tempered with the efforts of a man who knew his words made no difference and did not care either way.
James turns from where he bent over the gearshift. “I can't tell if you're serious or not,” he explains, his eyes narrowed at Remus in deep contemplation.
“I am Sirius,” Sirius chuckles, his grin falling far too broad for a joke he had told more than a few dozen times.
James twists his head, snapping back to Sirius to finish his killing blow.
“Who's the doctor?” Peter calls, leaning forward from the backseat to squint heavily at the comments scrolling by on James's phone.
@LalaPickleEater:Bring out the doctor.
@RosePetalsAndNaughtyScents:Where's the doctor?
@ChristmasCookiesWithMouseCheese:We want the doctor.
“Yeah, sorry guys, the doctor is out today. She has exams,” James explains, shifting back into his seat, rubbing a hand through his hair that only serves to tousle it more.
Peter raises his own drink towards the camera, his face breaking into a shy smile.
James twists in his seat, using one hand to tug at the cup, nearly dragging the entire holder with him. Reaching out, his expression unchanging, Remus rests a finger on the soggy cardboard, his shoulders slumping, his eyes drooping even more.
James, finally managing to pull the cup free, breaks into a broad grin as he taps his nails across the side of the plastic cup, happily turning back to his friends, raising his cup at Peter's with an expansive gaze at Remus. Remus raises his drink, a mask of exhaustion.
Sirius leans forward, his hips nearly snapping the gearstick as he leans in to tap at the screen. “Are they talking about Regina?”
“When I go to the drive-thrus, I usually take her along when I do mukbangs,” James agrees, clinking his plastic cup against the other two before raising a knee to push Sirius out of the lens. He purses his lips tightly around the straw to take a sip, his eyes fixed on the lens.
@WhyAreYouLookingAtMeLikeThat: Kisses for the doctor.
@IWontLickYourToes: Food for the doctor.
@Fingerdoodler942: No apples for the doctor.
@IGotTheMilk: When do the exams end for the doctor?
@DadImLactoseIntolerant: James bring us the doctor.
@DontWearThoseSocksToBed: Doctor.
@WhyAreYouScreaming: Doctor.
@ImNotGoingToEatYourLeg: Doctor.
@ParasocialFlea: D. O. C. T. O. R.
@IJustAteABee: For God's sake, I burnt my hand baking a cake.
@YuckAHumanJustSwallowedMe: I have a headache.
@HaveYouSeenMyBee: My teeth and tongue are fake.
@ItWasntMe: Doctor bring us the doctor.
@3YearOldsCantSee: Code green, is there a doctor?
@ImNotAntsy: A doctor for the hallway, a doctor for the chat.
@ImYourAuntC: Bring out the doctor.
@CrumbledCookiesAreJustCrumbs: We want the doctor.
@IBroughtPowderedDonuts: We need to see a doctor.
@ThoseLookDustyee: We're not leaving until we see a doctor.
“What did she do?” Peter questions.
“Did she give a lot of medical advice?” Remus suggests, his brows rising to his hairline at the sight of the flooding chat.
“What?” James questions, his head tilting slightly to the backseat, his gaze still fixed on the screen. “Oh, she was tearing plotholes in Doctor Who.”
“She's never even seen it!” Sirius complains, leaning over to explain. “Phony! She's a big fat phony!”
“That's what I said!” James complains, turning his full attention to Sirius as he gestures to himself. “But then she just told me that she is a real doctor.”
Sirius starts shaking his head frantically, the long strands flicking at James's straw, causing him to twist towards the door, forcing his drink out of reach to glare over his shoulder at Sirius.
“She's not even a doctor!” Sirius insists, his voice rising in pitch as he takes on a scolding tone. “She won't be a neurologist for another 8 years!”
@WaitWhatDoesThatSay: Open the glove compartment. James we know you have it, bring out the paperwork.
@ICantRead: We know a doctor when we see one.
@SomebodyGrabMyLungs: Bring out the doctor. Return the doctor.
@ImStrugglingToBreathe: You don't need a doctor.
@ISeeFire: Give us the doctor.
@ImLockingTheCarDoor: We want the doctor.
@RunHesGotAFlamethrower: Open the glove box.
@AAAAAAHHHHH: Open sesame.
@IThinkMyReflectionIsLookingAtMe: Open I say.
@NoILookedAwayWhenYouWereLookingAtMe: Abracadabra.
@WhatDoIDoNowShesLookingAtMe: That's not a real spell, it's the doctor—if she were here, she could have told you that.
@HesTryingToGetMe: Avada Kedavra.
James drops over the glove compartment, his lips still wrinkled around his straw as he shoots another glare at Sirius.
Sirius leans over, snatching a large rectangular plaque denoting early graduate acceptance into a second-year medical program. Sirius, his face fulled with indignation, crams the laminated paper back into the glove box, slamming the loose door multiple times before James picks up the dangling shoelace and loops it around the nail at the top of the dashboard to secure it shut.
“Why won't she just get a new car?” Remus groans, his voice hoarse.
“Don't talk about her like that! She has a sensitive temperament and an old soul,” James hisses over his shoulder with a glare.
@ImOutsideYourCarWindow: Does anybody hear the silence after the proof?
@YouPulledMyDoorLockAndItMadeAClick: He said it!
@DidYouJustTouchMyToe: He said it word for word, I can't wait for the wedding.
@ImUnderYourBedNo: James, what's it like marrying a doctor?
@GlutneyIsASinWhenYouDontHaveEnough: James, how long have you been married to the doctor?
@ItAllLooksLikeGreed:He listens even when he pretends he's not hearing.
@PleaseJustLetMeGo: What's it like to love a doctor?
@NotUntilYouFinishYourTest: “To be James, let me borrow your beat-up car even though I can afford one of my own. I'll take you to get a meal, Potter.”
@SatanWhyAreYouInTheCorner: That's Mr. Doctor to you.
@MoveTheresNoRoom: I can't wait to compose my speech. I'll be the first one to say, “3 years ago, this man borrowed a car. Now they share a lease, gas bills, and three kids.”
“Yeah, I said the same thing,” Sirius agrees. “Look at this,” Sirius complains, reaching a hand to the soft fabric of James's button-down shirt. “Who do you think bought it for him?”
@DontLetHerSeeMe: Don't forget the part where he has enough money to buy his mom a new car but still has to borrow hers.
@YouHavntBeenAstudentSinceBC: Calm down guys, you never know, maybe fast food is just cheaper than your own transport.
@ShutUpSheClimbedDownHereJustForThoseThree: “She has a vehicle that I can use on demand, now let me just wrap myself around her schedule.”
@IfSheSeesMeNoIllNeverBeSeen: ✨ Doctor's wife ✨
@IFeltLike4YearsAgoYouCantKeepForcingMeToResit: ✨ Oh to be Mrs. Doctor ✨
@IGotARabbitsButMyLuckIsAboutToChange: ✨ Mrs. James Doctor ✨
@ILostAFoot: Let me pay for your gas, I'll ride with you to class.
@AndTurnOutInThePotForThePotlucks: Sometimes I change tax brackets and just decide to inconvenience myself by not owning my own things—that's the real principle.
James, rolling his eyes, bats Sirius's hand away from his collar.
“She did that for him this morning!” Sirius calls brightly, leaning into the camera lens.
“I'm not the only person that drives with her,” James grumbles, still brushing at his collar.
Sirius throws his head back in a loud cackle. “She fixed that for him this morning!” he explains, pointing at where James was still fumbling with the collar.
@WhatHappenedToBunniesAreCute: I thought that shirt was missing a few stains.
@IWasOnStageWithMyRabbitsFootWhenIBrokeMyLeg: Would you like another bag of chips, James?
@ThatsNotTheRightKindOfCast: A new shirt is like a tire without skid marks.
@SomeoneThrewARabbitFootThroughMyWindow: Quick James, drop to the ground, roll around in the dirt, she'll touch you when she buys the new shirt.
@ImLookingThroughYourWindow: Is anybody else seeing the text behind those eyes like, “I can't believe you just touched me, there doesn't even look like her anymore”?
@TheLuckIsYoursNow: How long do you think he can go without washing that shirt if he gets her to touch it again?
@MyPreciousHasenpfefferCroakedAtMe: Don't do it, James.
@QuickThrowTheLeg: Remember she probably held the shirt up to her chest in the store.
@ItDidntTakeTheBait: Don't wash it, James, you'll be washing away the good sense.
@ItsNAWINGatMyLeg: Relying on your own brain cells will kill you faster than the dirt.