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“I love that about her.”
Ned looked at Peter like he was crazy as Peter gazed after MJ walking away from their table.
“What?” He wondered.
“How honest she is!”
“Peter, she just called us pathetic losers!”
“And? We are, aren’t we?”
“Peter!” Ned protested. “You’re not supposed to agree with that!”
Peter shrugged. “I just appreciate that she’s straightforward about everything. People who don’t say what they mean are so annoying.”
“That’s because you’re autistic, Peter.”
Peter whacked him on the head with his homework packet.
“Oh shut up!”
“What? I was just being honest!”
~
Flash was walking around, bragging about his “super cool, really expensive, brand new sunglasses”.
Peter and Ned watched, knowing he was making a complete fool of himself, but also knowing they would get punched if they told him that. They were trying not to laugh at him, but it was just so stupid to brag about something as trivial as sunglasses.
Peter gave a quiet snort-laugh, which made Ned laugh as well, and soon they were both kind of losing it, which unfortunately caught Flash’s attention. He stalked over and glared at them over the rim of his “super cool” sunglasses.
“Laughing at something, Parker?” He demanded.
Peter shook his head. “Nope. Not at all.”
Flash seemed to realize he was being made fun of, so he did his best to take control of the situation.
“You’re probably just jealous that you don’t have awesome sunglasses like me.”
Ned and Peter exchanged a look, but before either one of them could come up with a response, MJ chimed in.
“Why would anyone be jealous? Those glasses don’t even look good on you.”
Flash’s jaw dropped, and all the other students laughed. MJ smirked, snorted, and went back to reading her book. Peter would’ve high-fived her if he wasn’t a coward.
She was so awesome.
~
“How is going on a field trip to the beach educational?” Peter wondered.
“I dunno. Marine science… and stuff?” Ned offered.
“Okay, sure, but everyone’s just going to go swimming and ignore any teaching attempts the chaperones make.”
“Dude, why are you complaining? We get to go to the beach instead of sitting in school all day!” Ned exclaimed.
“I like school!” Peter protested.
“Well, you’re a loser for liking school,” MJ broke in as she appeared out of nowhere, “but I agree with you that this is stupid.”
“See!?” Peter exclaimed. “She understands!”
“Also, the beach is overrated.” MJ added.
Ned’s jaw dropped. “You can’t be serious! The beach is awesome!”
MJ shrugged, unfazed. “I said what I said.” She walked away and Peter let out a happy little sigh.
“She’s so confident. And unapologetic. It’s awesome.”
~
Peter had forgotten to pack himself lunch, so he was forced to get cafeteria food. The lunch that day came with a small cup of cheap ice cream that Peter immediately disliked.
“This ice cream is gross.” He muttered, checking to see if it was past its expiration date.
Shockingly, it wasn’t.
Ned was already licking his cup clean. “Gross? I love this stuff. I’ll take yours.”
Peter glanced across the length of the table to where MJ sat reading. He cleared his throat.
“Hey MJ?”
She looked up, and Peter’s heart fluttered when their eyes met.
“Yes, Peter Parker?”
He did his best not to trip over his words.
“I- uh- I was just w- wondering if you wanted my ice cream.” He was definitely blushing like an idiot.
She made a face.
“Nah. Ice cream is weird. I don’t like it. It’s too cold, and by the time it’s a bearable temperature to put in my mouth, it’s not worth eating.”
Ned stared in shock, but Peter nodded slowly because that made sense.
“That’s totally fair.” He agreed.
Ned gave him a dubious glance. “That’s ridiculous. You’re just agreeing because you like her.”
“No! I’m agreeing because… I like it when she shares her unfiltered opinions.”
“Everything she says is an unfiltered opinion.” Ned observed.
“Exactly. And it’s awesome.”
~
One day, Peter and Ned overheard some girl talking to MJ.
“Why do you sit with Parker and his weird fat friend?” The girl was asking.
MJ frowned. “Because I don’t have anyone else to sit with.”
“Okay, but I’d rather sit by myself than with those losers.” The other girl said with a giggle.
“Well, they’re not complete losers.” MJ countered. “They’re also… kind of my friends. I guess.”
“Really? What, do you like them?”
“What do you mean?” MJ wondered.
“Oh please. No girl is “friends” with boys unless she likes at least one of them. Boys and girls can’t be friends.”
MJ abruptly stood up and started walking off.
“Hey!” The girl exclaimed. “Rude!”
“That’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard!” MJ shot over her shoulder. “Boys and girls can be friends, and that’s a fact you can pry from my cold, dead hands!”
She approached Peter and Ned’s table and plopped herself down.
“You guys might be losers, but at least I can hold an intellectual conversation with you.” She muttered.
Peter grinned because first of all, she was complimenting him, and second of all, her awesome honesty struck again.
~
Peter looked from the letter to MJ’s face and tried not to cry. How was he supposed to explain this to her?
“I lost someone.” He whispered. “And they’d still be here if it wasn’t for me.” It’d be better if I had died, not her. She didn’t deserve to die. She should still be here. MJ stared expectantly, waiting for him to continue. “I didn’t read you that letter because… I’d didn’t want anything like that to happen to you.”
“That’s not really your decision to make-“ MJ protested.
“I know it’s not.” Peter interrupted. He stared into her eyes, trying to come up with some excuse. All he could find was the truth. “You mean everything to me. And I’ve been trying to live my life without you, but I can’t.” He drew in a shaky breath. “I love you.”
She studied him, looking a little lost. Did he dare to hope that somehow, against all odds, maybe she would remember?
Finally, she spoke, gesturing to the letter as she did.
“This spell, or whatever it is that you did… it worked. All these memories that you’re saying that we have together- I don’t - I don’t have them.”
Each word hit Peter like a truck as a million scenes flashed through his head.
Giving her the necklace. Kissing her for the first time. Holding her hand. Sitting together on the flight home from London. Sitting on the roof with her. Kissing her before she forgot him forever.
She didn’t remember what any of that was, or how much it meant to him.
“And I do see why, you know, she would love you, the girl you write that letter to, but…” She shook her head and Peter wished he could read her expression. “I understand that you did what you had to do to protect her. And for that, I’m so grateful. But I- I don’t love you. Cause- cause I don’t even know you.”
The words were heavier than anything Peter had ever lifted with his super strength.
It felt like all the air had been sucked out of his lungs.
Like all the color had drained out of the world.
Like everything he had ever known and loved was slipping out of his hands, and nothing he could ever do would ever make it better again.
The pain tore him to shreds, and he didn’t think it would ever go away.
Maybe all this time, he’d hoped that if he just kept trying, maybe he could fix this. Maybe they could remember.
But her words had crushed that hope.
His heart lay shattered at her feet, broken like the black dahlia necklace, but nothing about this was beautiful. The honesty that he had once admired so much had ripped his heart out and destroyed it.
He searched her eyes for anything, some sign of her old love that could give him back his will to live. All he could see was sympathy and honesty, and it made him want to die.
She was still MJ.
As honest as ever.