Chapter Text
You never thought of these moments when planning a life-saving, suicide mission. Sure, you calculated all the ways things could go wrong, all the variables in order to survive. But you never thought of the quiet moments in advance, such as laying in your bed in the middle of space, very very far away from home. Grace’s body was exhausted, but his mind kept racing. He tried not to think too much of what he was doing when trying to sleep, lest he wanted to trigger some sort of internal panic he’d managed to suppress thus far. Thinking of it, he didn’t give himself enough credit for how little he’d freaked out about all this. Yes, it was more panic than he’d ever experienced in his life, but if you really counted the amount of risk he was putting himself in up here - well, he was doing a pretty good job if he said so himself!
He exhaled slowly and rolled over onto his back. He needed a distraction. What did he usually do back on Earth? Scroll his phone, watch a show, read a book? They didn’t sound as appealing up here. What if a throwaway line made him remember something unpleasant? What if he had a panic attack? Yeah, no, that wasn’t going to work. He should’ve probably started working on his coping mechanisms by this point, but you can’t blame a guy for diving headfirst into work in order to avoid doing just that in these circumstances.
Grace placed a hand on his stomach. Maybe…
He didn’t do this often back home. He found it silly that he felt the need to do it at all, and back home he wasn’t as lonely and touch starved, though he was definitely lonely and touch starved, but being in space had opened up a whole new level to the loneliness and touch starvation. So yeah, maybe he shouldn’t feel ashamed of it. Maybe that was just what he needed.
He shut his eyes and curled his fingers over his skin, once, twice. His stomach, which had always been his most sensitive spot, jolted beneath the touch. If he really put his mind to it, he could almost imagine it was someone else who was doing this to him. Who that could be was none of his business, really. He’d never been stupid enough to mix his fantasies with reality. But whoever that would be, it would be someone gentle and playful, strong enough to keep him put under their body, because that was what Grace imagined the situation would be like. Him on his back, probably on a bed, with his hands uselessly trying to fight the tickles off-
“You doing what, question?”
Grace snapped his hand back. “Nothing!”
Rocky didn’t need light to see him. He’d simply picked up on Grace’s hand moving. “You no sleep.”
“I’m trying to.”
“You move long time. No calm. No sleep.”
“It’s, it’s-” He cleared his throat. “It’s a soothing motion for humans.” Well, kind of. Some humans.
It wasn’t like he’d forgotten that Rocky was there. Subconsciously he knew that the Eridian was watching him sleep, as was his custom, but the human brain worked in funny ways anyway. The thing was: Grace wasn’t about to explain to an alien that he sometimes fantasized about being tickled of all things and would do it to himself out of desperation. Hell, he wouldn’t even explain that to a human!
But when he thought about it, Rocky wouldn’t know why that would be embarrassing. He wouldn’t know that it wasn’t a common fantasy to have.
“Soothing how, question?” He’d stopped tinkering with whatever he’d been fixing and had directed all his attention toward Grace.
“It, uh.” He waved his hand around. “It feels good against the skin I guess. To some.” Okay, apparently he wasn’t one to fully lie to an alien. Sue him. “Human skin has all these nerve endings. Some things feel good and others don’t. Some things hurt. What I was doing felt good to me.”
“Is called what, question?”
“Uh. It’s called tickling.” They had no shared word for that, but they had one for touching. “Like very light tough.” He ran a fingertip over his own ribs. “It can feel good.”
“But some not like, question?”
“No. The, uh- some people are too sensitive to certain types of touching. When someone touches you very lightly over a sensitive spot, we usually call that tickling. It tickles because you’re ticklish. Sometimes you tickle someone accidentally, but more often you do it on purpose.”
“Why do if not enjoyable, question?”
“It’s weird. It has all this evolutionary history. Humans developed sensitive skin in order to feel if things such as bugs and other unwanted creatures crawl on us, especially since we don’t have as much hair as other animals. Then somewhere along the line it became a bonding activity.” He wiggled his fingers in the air. “It makes you laugh.”
“Laugh.”
“Yes, if you’re ticklish, you laugh.”
“You not laugh.”
“You can’t really tickle yourself. Well, not fully. I mean, I can feel this-” He gave the side of his belly a quick scribble. “-and I can feel that I’m ticklish because it’s sensitive, but I’m not feeling any panic which means there’s no reason for me to laugh, really. No one is forcing it upon me.”
Rocky was doing the Eridian equivalent of tilting his head like a dog trying to understand. “If panic how fun, question?”
“It’s just.” He shrugged. “It’s just silly, I guess. Fun in the right circumstances, with the right people. Some people abuse it and tickle others until they beg for it to stop. But a lot of times it’s just a fun and quick little moment between friends or family or lovers or whatever.”
“And you like, question?”
He felt his face heat up. “Uh, yeah, it can be fun.”
“You do to yourself because you miss.” That one wasn’t a question.
“I guess.”
“Person do it to you home, question?”
“No. Not in a very long time.”
“Want to help.”
Grace let out a laugh. “Thanks, Rocky, but I’m fine.”
“Not fine. Sad.” He tapped one of his hands against the floor. “Lonely, question?”
“Not at all,” he assured him. “I have you! But a big part of human relationships is being able to touch. I guess I miss that.”
“We no touch. Sad.”
“Yes, very sad.”
“I make you laugh if could.”
“Yeah, I know.”
“You embarrassed, question?”
He huffed. He’d forgotten he’d taught Rocky of human embarrassment. “A little,” he admitted.
“Why, question?”
He rolled over to his side, partly to hide his face in the pillow. Not that it really mattered. “It’s just a bit… vulnerable. To talk about this. Being caught doing it. Not many people like being tickled enough that they do… that.”
“You special.”
“Hah. Oh yes, very special.”
“You keep doing. Rocky watch.”
“There’s no way I’m doing that.”
He made a sound of irritation. “Rocky observe.”
“There’s really nothing to observe if I’m alone.”
“No. Rocky observe Grace happy.”
Oh.
Well, that was kind of sweet actually.
Grace rolled onto his back again. “Uh. Okay. But, uh. Don’t judge me, okay?”
“Why judge, question?”
“Nevermind.”
He started tentatively, all the while aware of Rocky’s attention on him. He ran his nails over his stomach, along the sides and up toward his ribs. Just as he was almost getting into it, had almost forgotten he was being observed, Rocky broke the silence.
“Grace sensitive on upper body only, question?”
“What? No, no- hey, don’t ask questions during this! I thought you said this wasn’t an observation.”
“Apologies. Curious.”
Grace certainly couldn’t blame him for it. “Okay, so, humans can be ticklish pretty much everywhere, with varying levels. But the most common spots are the ones that are vulnerable to, like, attacks. Such as neck, armpits, stomach.” He pointed to each spot just to make sure that Rocky understood which ones he meant. “And feet have so many nerve endings that most people are really ticklish there.”
“Grace where, question?”
“Where I’m ticklish? Oh boy.” He laughed at the absurdity of the situation. That he was the only person ever to give away his tickle spots without risking the threat of that being exploited. “Like, everywhere. It’s ridiculous.”
Rocky made a sound of interest. “Explain.”
“Okay, so my stomach’s my worst spot. Do you see how the skin kind of jumps away when I touch it?”
“Yes.”
“It’s because it’s so sensitive even to my own touch. Crazy, right?”
“Endearing.”
“It- wait, I’m not endearing!”
“Continue.”
Grace shook his head, blushing again. Rocky probably didn’t even understand his timidness about this, and yet he managed to tease him, that bastard. “Okay, so ribs, side, armpits are all bad. My neck’s probably my second worst spot. Wearing a turtleneck is torture, so I don’t. That’s a shirt with a really high neckline, comes up to about here.” He pointed to his throat. “I feel ticklish just thinking about it.” He shuddered. “That’s another thing. Just because I kind of enjoy it, doesn’t mean I want to feel it all the time. Only in certain situations.”
“Understood.”
“So yeah, my whole upper body’s bad, including my lower back. But so are my legs. Thighs, knees, back of them.”
“Feet, question?”
“Oh, very bad, yes.” He nodded, as if this was a normal conversation to have. “Especially the arches.”
“Show, question?”
“Oh, uh-” He sat up and pulled one of his feet out from under the covers. He pointed to the arch. “Here.”
“You touch.”
“My foot? Yeah, sure, okay.” He ran a finger over it. It tickled so much from just that, that he couldn’t add another one. “Many nerve endings here.”
“Amaze.”
“It kind of is, isn’t it?” He ran his finger over his sole a couple more times, since he’d gone through the effort of sitting up and all. “Many probably wish we were less ticklish, but- I don’t know. I kind of like that we have these natural weaknesses. Oh, maybe I didn’t explain that to you. When you’re tickled you usually go into fight or flight mode, so you’re laughing and squirming and usually can’t help it. That’s why many are embarrassed about it.”
“Understand. You lie down.”
Grace did as he was told. “So demanding. What spot do you want me to try now?” He mostly said it as a joke, but Rocky seemed to ponder over it for a second.
“You do knee, question?”
“Sure, I can do that. I can even show you different techniques!” It was so stupid to get excited about something like this, but come on, he’d been stuck in space for over four years at this point. “You can spider your fingers over the kneecap like this, or you can squeeze-”
“Back of knee, question?”
“Right. The back of the knee is usually really sensitive because it’s a vulnerable, soft spot. You only really have to lightly touch it to get a reaction- ah.” He grinned involuntarily as he tried to make himself tickle the spot. It really was super ticklish even if he did it to himself. The idea of someone pinning his leg down fully…
“Grace dream, question?”
“Huh? Oh, I guess I zoned out,” he said sheepishly.
“Is good. Grace sleepy.”
“I guess I’m a little tired- Wait, have you been tricking me into tickling myself to sleep?!”
“Humans easy to trick.” If Eridians laughed, Grace was certain that was what Rocky was doing. “Calm now. Happy.”
Grace ran a hand over his neck. “Yeah, I guess.”
“Continue if need. Rocky watch, no talk.”
He crossed his arms. “No, I think I’m done.”
“Grace grumpy.”
“No, I’m not.”
“Keep touching. Happy again. Then sleep.”
“You’re not the boss of me.”
“Embarrassed. No need.”
Grace exhaled through his nose as Rocky picked up whatever he’d been doing before this strange situation had started. Well, he wasn’t fully ready to sleep yet. He still hadn’t tried his neck or armpits, after all…