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There was something about weddings that just made single people suddenly feel desolate. Kara could not be happier for her sister. It was a beautiful day; Alex was glowing in a way that Kara had rarely seen. She deserved every happiness, and Kara was not going to make this unshakable weight in her chest Alex’s problem, so she threw herself into the party.
It wasn’t until the sun had set over the pavilion, the wedding tent glowing with soft fairy lights and outdoor lamps, and the music from the DJ station was more melodic that Kara let herself examine the lead in her chest. The brides had left for their honeymoon hours ago and Kara stayed out of reluctance to be alone. She spent most of the time with Lena. She couldn’t say who was following who, both just orbiting through the party in tandem. They had spent the last hour at a table set with a pretty flower arrangement at the edge of the tent’s makeshift dance floor. Kara never had to think about what to say to Lena, there always seemed to be something she wanted to share with her, no matter how frivolous.
In the growing quiet of the tent, most of the guests having shifted to their own tables or left, the weight in Kara’s chest would not be ignored anymore.
She watched Lena watch a couple still swaying on the dance floor and wondered why she was so beautiful. Why was she here, sat with Kara on the edge of the night when her eyes sparkled like that and her voice lilted like that when she talked about balancing atomic weight and heat displacement. And who was Kara to deserve to hear her talk about quantum entanglement, and joke, and compliment her? Why wasn’t Kara watching Lena get married? How was she so lucky that she still had first stake to her?
“I should just marry you,” Kara bumbled before she knew she was talking. What the fuck?
Lena’s head snapped in Kara’s direction, eyes brighter and wider than Kara thought possible, dark lips parted in shock.
“No,” Kara started but didn’t really know what she was trying to say, “I mean, like, wouldn’t it be easier to just marry your best friend instead of- like- right…?” What the fuck was that?
Lena blinked a few times, getting herself back under control, her face regaining manufactured neutrality as Lena studied her. “Kara, I would marry you in an instant, but not like that.”
Like what? Kara didn’t dare ask.
After a minute of silence, Lena heaved a big breath and decided she didn’t need to wait for Kara to ask.
“Not as a last, desperate choice and not as a friend,” she replied. She held Kara’s gaze for another minute, then when Kara didn’t move or breathe, she sighed and stood.
Why did it hurt so much? Watching Lena walk away, the weight in Kara’s chest felt like it had grown spikes and decided to do jumping jacks. She was going to be sick and cry at the same time. The last time she had felt so desperately lost was during those months when Lena had hated her. Some honourable mentions included watching her parents disappear from the window of her pod, feeling the aftershocks of the explosion that followed signalling the end of anything she had ever known, being trapped in the Phantom Zone, twice, and every time she thought Alex was going to die.
She watched Lena make it to the opening of the tent, pause, then step out.
She flipped the table in her haste to move around it to follow.
“Wait, I’m sorry!” she shouted as she reached her, grasping for her arm. The air was ripped out of her lungs when Lena spun to face her, face stony and lost, with fat tears sliding down her cheeks.
“Whoa,” Kara said before she could stop herself. She didn’t really understand what was happening. “Lena, I’m sorry, you’re not a last choice, I don’t really know what I'm saying.” She took a breath to centre herself and decided to think out loud; whatever came out, Lena had a right to hear. “I was just thinking how lucky I am that you keep me around and I’d be lucky to marry you. I don’t really know where that thought came from but now it just seems right… right? Like nobody has every been more important or more precious; nobody except Alex has ever known me the way you do. If those months where I thought I lost you are any indication, then losing you really is one of the worst things that can happen to me. I’ve forgotten how to be me without you and I don’t really want to be any version of myself without you. Like no matter what crazy things happen, it’ll be fine if I have you.
“Then this past year, no more secret identities, just sharing every facet of my life with you, getting to really tell you how amazing your work is without hiding the fact that I understand your science; being full nerd with you like I haven’t ever had a chance to be with anyone. I never imagined how much I have been missing out on until I had you with me in as many ways as possible.”
Kara couldn’t tell if she was panting because she was out of breath or having a panic attack.
“What are you saying, Kara?” Lena’s voice was level, but just barely. Kara knew her, knew the volcano of emotions hiding under that tone.
“Well, maybe we shouldn’t get married yet, that would be crazy, but… would it really be that crazy if I said I think I’m in love with you?”
Kara was sure Lena was going to faint. “I thought you were straight?”
Kara chuckled obnoxiously, nervously, just cackled uncontrollably, “Yeah, I don’t know what’s happening. I mean, that wasn’t really a thing on Krypton, but integrating into small-town society at 13 in the 2000s- that compulsory heternormativity really gets you. And I just never thought about it, it didn’t matter. There’s a lot of ideas that I just adopted without thinking; I was just focusing on trying to fit in. I didn’t really have the option to pick and choose and discover myself or whatever because who I was was, well an alien, and that wasn’t an option, so who I am doesn't matter; I just needed to fit in. And I don’t have the greatest romantic track record. You’ve seen some of my greatest hits. Did I like anyone I dated or was I still trying to play the part? I honestly don’t know. There’s a reason I’ve never had a long-term relationship. I don’t always interpret people the right way and I don’t think I interpret my own feelings very well either. But this feels real and right! Wow, I’m sorry, you’re getting this in real time.”
After a beat, Lena started, her voice controlled, wavering just enough for Kara to notice. “I’ll make this really simple for you then. I've always loved you, Kara. I always knew I loved you. That’s why it hurt so much when I realised you didn’t trust me with your secret. I could have gotten over it if it hadn’t completely ripped me apart knowing you thought so little of me. I knew I could never have you fully, the way I wanted, but to realise I had so little of you…”
“It’s not true-” Lena waved a hand to stop her.
“It’s OK, I understand now, but at the time, that’s all I could think.”
“I’ll never hurt you again,” Kara insisted.
Lena chuckled softly, “I don’t think that’s possible, but I appreciate the thought.” She bit her lip in amusement and Kara was done for. She lunged at her before she knew what she was doing, her hands going to Lena’s face, lips colliding far harder than she intended. Lena’s hands were at her hips, pulling at her like Kara was her salvation.
With Alex away on her honeymoon, Kara didn’t have anyone to call and tell when the dust settled and Lena stayed day after day, hands clasping casually, kisses passing between them as easily as air. They never spoke about keeping their relationship a secret, but neither of them seemed inclined to invite anyone into their bubble just yet.
The first person to notice was Nia. She was too sweet for her own good and didn’t deserve to be on the butt end of Lena’s sense of humour.
The day after the wedding, things were thankfully slow crime-wise but the tower was just the place to go and exist, partially out of routine and partially because that’s where everyone felt the most sense of belonging they had ever had in their lives.
Late morning saw Brainy and Lena were debating the physics of dimensional engineering, Nia was reading a book, and Kara was still out on her patrol before she came in. She and Lena hadn’t discussed not coming in together; it just made sense for Supergirl to make her rounds before settling in for the afternoon.
Around noon, Kara floated in through the window on a pink cloud of bliss. If she hadn’t been literally flying, she still would have been a foot off the ground. Her dopey smile, ruffled curls and constant bubbly giggling at the most mundane things pinged Nia’s radar within minutes.
“Miss Danvers!” She gasped in pretend scandal, “Did you get laid?”
Kara’s jaw dropped, her cheeks burning; Lena, on the other end of the room, back to them, turned minutely, slowly. Her face completely impassive, she raised a single eyebrow.
“Kara, at your sister’s wedding no less?” Lena chastised.
Nia, remembering Lena was there, whipped around to face her. Her eyes dripped with sympathy. She knew about Lena’s crush on Kara, she had tried to talk to Lena about it on several occasions.
Kara turned to look at Lena, her whole face turning beet-red. “Who’s hungry? I'm gonna go pick up lunch!” and she was soaring out the window.
Nia approached Lena when she was sure Kara was out of earshot- which was a long time- pulling up a chair and sitting down beside her.
“Are you OK?” she asked softly.
Lena sighed heavily like she wasn’t OK and nodded.
“I know you will find someone amazing. You’re brilliant, Lena and there’s someone out there for you.”
“Yeah,” Lena sighed.
“You can always tell her, you know. Sometimes I see her watching you and I think- well, crazier things have happened.”
“I’ll think about it,” Lena tried at a tight smile.
A couple of hours later, after an awkwardly quiet lunch, Nia found them in a closet. “What the fuck is going on?” she yelled, slamming the door shut.
They straightened out their clothes and stepped out to face her.
She stood gaping at them for a few moments before turning to Lena, “Guess talking to her helped?”
Kara turned to Lena innocently, “You need to talk to me?”
“No, I think we figured it out.”
Nia glared at them.
“Wanna come over tonight?” Lena asked Kara, ignoring Nia.
“Wouldn’t miss it,” Kara replied, taking Lena’s hand.
“Great, I’ll grab dinner. I’m going to head out, see you later, love you,” and with a kiss to Kara’s mouth, she turned to leave. “‘Night, Nia!” she called without turning around as she sauntered away.
“Oh my God, seriously, what is happening?” Nia shouted.
Kara rubbed her neck, “We’re kind of dating,” she muttered and Nia just stared.
By the time she had thoroughly answered Nia’s questions, she was pretty late getting to Lena’s.
A few days later, they broke James’s brain.
He was picking up some toys Esme had left at Kara’s, but he really should have knocked. Kara’s apartment was always welcoming and comfortable. Memories of shared wine, laughter, teasing, fighting over games and turns and fairness. It felt natural to let himself in. But this wasn’t game night; there wasn’t an air of social camaraderie to welcome him in, glasses raised. Instead, there was Lena straddling Kara on the couch. She was in her bra- thankfully- hands making their way into Kara’s shirt, moving against her with a passion that James never imagined she was capable of. And he dated her.
When she moved to pull Kara’s shirt up, James made a strangled noise of protest.
Everyone froze.
Then time reinstated itself, loudly. Kara was scrambling to wrap a throw around Lena while keeping her from falling backwards in shock. Lena was shouting, and James was babbling like he had forgotten the concept of language.
It took all of Kara’s de-escalation training to get the two of them seated and quiet on opposite couches, sitting bashfully next to Lena.
“Forgot how to knock?” Lena started, and Kara tried not to groan. So much for a civilised conversation.
“I’m sorry, but what’s happening?” James ignored Lena, looking to Kara.
“Trying to make out with my girlfriend,” Lena beat her, Kara freezing with her mouth open, half a word out.
“You…? The two of you… are dating?” He cobbled it together. Then his eyes widened, “But I dated both of you!”
Kara tried to look sympathetic; Lena scoffed.
It took him another beat before his shock turned into revelation. “Oh my God, I should have known,” he sighed, rubbing his hand down his face. “The only time sweet, bubbly Kara yelled at me was to defend Lena.”
“You defended me?” Lena cooed, ignoring James.
“Yeah, loudly and to anyone who dared say anything about you.” A pause, then James blushed, “Fuck, now that I think about it, I don’t think I’d heard Kara’s name mentioned more than while I was dating Lena. You blew me off to make her soup. You literally walked out of the room mid-conversation to answer her phone calls. You- were you hitting on Kara the entire time we were dating?”
Lena had the decency to look a little guilty for the first time. “I’m sorry, James, I shouldn’t have played with your feelings like that.”
“Why did you even agree to go out with me?”
Lena really blushed now for the first time since the intrusion. “You were her friend- I thought it would get her attention. Plus, she said I should.”
Kara and James gawked at her from either side as she bit her lip.
Before either of them could retort, she dove back in, “I don’t think straight when it comes to Kara. Last time we fought, I tried to mind-control the planet.”
“For all of our sakes, I hope you never break up; I don’t think the planet stands a chance against a hell-bent Lena.”
Kara nodded in agreement, accepting the challenge. Never break up with Lena. Noted.
After a few moments of silence, James turned to Kara, “so, our sisters are married, and I guess you’re my sister-in-law? And my ex-girlfriend? And you're dating my other ex-girlfriend? Family dinners are going to be weird. How do I explain this to my mom?”
He gathered up the bag of Esme’s things that Kara had prepared and smiled at them. “I’m happy for you.” He hugged Kara warmly and tried to hug Lena, who kind of scooted away, so he shook her hand.
When Alex and Kelly got back, there seemed to be an unspoken agreement to see how long it took for them to pick up on the change in Kara and Lena’s relationship. They weren’t trying to be subtle. They arrived together at the Tower when they were summoned, seemed to always be connected either at the hands, pressed up at the hips when they sat, or Kara leaned over the back of the couch to drape herself over where Lena was sitting.
Nia started shooting them looks when Alex was in the room, raising eyebrows in question. How was she not getting it?
Game night was flirtier than ever; Kara even offered Lena the last slice of pizza, Lena smiled but let her have it. By the end of the night, Lena was just a little bit drunk and fully sitting in Kara’s lap. Nia gushed quietly at them, J’onn looked mildly uncomfortable and tried to keep his line of sight at the opposite end of the room, Brainy was Brainy, and Alex was completely absorbed in the game.
After about a week, while everyone was picking up their things and getting ready to head home after a minor crisis at the Tower, Alex casually turned to Kara and Lena.
“Hey, I almost forgot, Kelly and I were wondering if you wanted to set up a double date this weekend? We can get Uncle Jimmy to babysit.”
Kara and Lena both looked up at her, wide-eyed.
She huffed at them, crossing her arms. “Do you guys think I’m completely blind? You were literally making out on the couch yesterday.”
“I didn’t think you noticed,” Kara offered, full naive puppy eyes.
“Literally how?” Alex countered.
“You don’t seem surprised,” Kara wondered.
Alex stifled a laugh. “Luthor’s been checking you out for years, and you were ready to break reality to get her back when she was mad at you. Not subtle.”
“But as friends-” Kara said.
“Oh my God, Kara, you are too smart to be this dumb!” Alex yelled, throwing her arms up.
“Was it that obvious?” Kara asked Lena.
She chortled, stroking Kara’s hair. “Yeah.”
They ended up going out to a pretty casual seafood restaurant on the pier for their double date, and Kara didn’t understand why she was as nervous as she was. Everyone knew each other, everyone liked each other; it should have been the most normal thing in the world. And yet the fluttery feeling in her chest wouldn’t subside as she got dressed and went to pick up Lena.
The fluttering became more akin to pounding against her ribcage when she took her spot at the table beside Lena and looked across the table into Alex’s smug little face.
“What, Alex?” she sighed.
“Nothing,” Alex smirked. “I’m a little bit offended that you didn’t talk to me about this. I mean, we had to watch the two of you obliviously pining for years, then suddenly you’re together? Where’s the drama?”
Kelly, ever the stabilising influence to Alex’s chaos, reached over and gently took her hand, “what she means to say is we’re happy for you, and we’d love to hear the story. How did this happen?” She smiled so warmly, Kara almost felt less jittery.
“She said she wanted to marry me at your wedding.” Lena deadpanned, taking a sip of water.
Kara choked. So much for Kelly’s comforting influence. Between Lena and Alex, she was going to die tonight.
Even Kelly couldn’t cover up her shocked expression quickly enough. Kara could feel her face burning.
“Kara!” Alex exclaimed.
“Not like that!” she tried to defend.
Lena decided to pipe up again, “Yeah, not like that. She wanted to marry me as a friend.”
Kara just gave up and dropped her head in her arms on the table.
“Oblivious until the end, huh?” Alex sighed.
Kara was considering lifting her head to rejoin the group when she felt Lena gently stroking her hair; her voice came close and low against her ear, “I love you, darling.”
Kara couldn’t help the grin that split her face as she bashfully shifted her head to peek at Lena through her hair. “Even though I’m dumb?” she pouted.
Lena smiled warmly at her, “You’re not dumb. But yes, I even love your dumb.”
Her chest fluttered in a completely different way as she lifted her head and dove for the menu.
“You know,” Kelly mused, “I really thought you guys were going through a messy breakup when you were fighting and I didn’t know about Kara’s extracurriculars. I mean, one time Kara crashed through Alex’s window- Alex convinced me she had climbed the fire escape- sobbing because Lena wouldn’t talk to her. She just lay on the floor and wouldn't get up so we piled blankets and pillows around her.”
“Ok, embarrassing Kara story time is over now,” Kara muttered from behind her menu.
Lena reached over to squeeze her thigh comfortingly, when Kara looked up at her, her eyes were smouldering. “I will never hurt you again,” she said thickly.
Kara smiled at her, her heart giving a little leap. “I thought you said that was impossible?” she teased.
Lena smiled a little but still looked completely serious. “No, it’s my new mission; I never fail.”
“Actually, this is perfect for us,” Alex interrupted loudly, “I wanted to name both of you Esme’s godparents but Kelly convinced me that gambling with the fate of our child on the assumption that you’d end up together was irresponsible. So we picked Lena because honestly if I died, it probably meant Kara wasn’t around anyway.”
Well, that was dark. “Gee, thanks, Alex. Are you drunk?”
Sam really didn’t seem to see it. She came into town for a few days on business and spent the first few hours of her first day in Lena’s office actually going through work. Good boundaries were the main reason they were able to be great friends and work effectively together. They were both good at knowing when to focus on the work.
Kara did not understand those boundaries. She barreled in at lunch time with several bags of take out. Sam, in the middle of reviewing a document at Lena’s desk, ignored her while she finished. Before Kara could deflate or feel any less appreciated, Lena had switched off work brain and turned on Kara brain, swooping to help her with the bags and kiss her in greeting.
By the time Sam was ready to disengage from the computer, they had food laid out and were seated pressed together on the couch.
Sam came over, and sat with them, turning warmly to Kara. Everything seemed good; they caught up, made light conversation, Kara asked about Ruby, Sam asked about Supergirl. Lena finished eating first and just sat back with her hand on Kara’s thigh while they talked. When Kara was done, she put her fork down and took Lena’s hand in hers, stroking her knuckles absentmindedly. When Kara turned away from Sam slightly to look at Lena with a smudge of sauce on her cheek, Lena laughed and automatically wiped it off, stroking a strand of hair behind her ear for good measure before getting back to the conversation.
Fourty minutes later, Sam got that mischievous glint in her eye and zeroed in on Lena, “so, I made a new friend.” She started, and Lena smiled encouragingly. “She has a sister in National City, and I may have her number for you.” Lena deflated; Kara going still against her. This was Sam's favourite game as Lena’s self-proclaimed wing-woman; make Kara jealous until she gets her butt in gear! (Sam’s words, not Lena’s).
“You’re young, hot and deserve to have someone who can appreciate you,” yes, all very pointed. She had learned subtlety really didn’t work on Kara.
Kara squeezed Lena’s hand and lowered her gaze away from Sam.
Lena just stared at her. How had she not noticed? Was she playing dumb to mess with them like Alex?
“So, how’s Friday sound?” Sam concluded. And Lena was still struggling to talk.
She opened her mouth, but when nothing came out, she just raised her and Kara’s joined hands to show her.
Sam did not react. “What?” she said after a moment.
“Sam, we’re together,” Lena said slowly.
Sam scrunched her eyebrows and studied them. “Like, for real?”
“Yes!” Lena laughed, indicating their clasped hands again.
“I don’t know why you think holding hands would be a clue. Don’t you always do that?” she said dryly.
“What? No!”
“Hmm, I feel like you did.” Sam insisted.
“Sam, we’re dating, we kiss and everything.”
“Yeah, but… you did that before too, right?”
“Oh, my God.”
“I don’t think you guys know what you look like to other people. Literally everyone who hadn’t heard your best friend spiel assumed you were dating. I don’t understand why it took so long!”
“Hey, are you OK?” Sam asked, turning to Kara, who was bright red and still frozen.
“Hmm?” She blinked like she was waking up from a dream.
“Congrats, Danvers, you can see through walls, but it took 5 years to see Lena’s massive, throbbing crush.”
Kara giggled, coming back to herself. “You had a crush on me? That's so embarrassing.” She nudged Lena.
“Ugh, don’t quote Parks and Rec at me!” Lena feigned annoyance as her face turned purple.
“This is amazing! Like birthday, Christmas, and Halloween presents for the next ten years! It’s taken years off my life having to watch you skirt around each other. Oh my God this means no more drunk phone calls in the middle of the night of Lena just crying. It was great mom training; Ruby’s basically a teenager.”
Kara stroked Lena’s face, pressing a firm kiss to her temple when she tried to shrink away in embarrassment.
Sam seemed to come back from her adrenaline-fueled rant, leaning over to grab Lena’s face in her hands. “I love you, I am so happy for you. You can call me at all hours, as drunk or sober as you want for the rest of your life!” She smiled warmly until Lena managed a smile back.
She pulled back and looked at Kara. “And you, I kicked your butt before; I can do it again. Don’t hurt her!”
Winn found out a year later, when he got a Save-the-Date for their wedding. He called Kara and made bird noises for a few minutes before finally remembering English and asked, “What dimension is this?”