Archive of Our Own

Ryland knew he was sick the moment he woke up. He had been tossing and turning the night before, hot flashes and cold sweat keeping him from getting comfortable. His head was pounding and his body ached. Grace was hoping this was a 'I can work through it' kind of sickness that would go away in just a few short hours. He glanced over to the side, expecting to see either of his shipmates. Simon wasn't in the bed next to his own. Grace felt a pang. He knew it was selfish and a little creepy, but Simon looked so peaceful when he slept, something he rarely felt awake it seemed. Rocky also wasn't there, telltale sounds of his xenonite ball rolling around and his translator voice somewhere on the other side of the ship. It sounded like a conversation, so Simon was probably with him

'I bet they're together working on something. Assholes. So much for keeping me safe and watching me sleep.' There was no real venom in the thought, he loved the two of them too much to actually hold a grudge. It was nice that Simon was settling in well and doing things on his own or with Rocky. Rocky had started to teach Simon about engineering as he had quickly shown interest in it. He caught on quick, though not without lots of hard work on his part. Simon was smart and had a knack for working with his hands

Grace begrudgingly rose from his bed, his joints protesting every movement. He got ready for the day, grabbing a quick breakfast to try to quell the uneasiness in his stomach and got to work. They had sent the 'Beatles' back to Earth months ago, but Ryland was going stir crazy without something to do, so he kept experimenting. The trip to Erid was going well so far, but they still had a long ways to go. Grace put on his lab coat and gloves and got to work studying the microorganisms from Adrian. Well, tried to get to work

The work was slow, Grace's brain refusing to cooperate as his headache increased in intensity. He was constantly shivering which would mess up whatever he was trying to delicately work on. The lights felt too bright and hot and his heart was beating at a faster pace than usual. Ryland tried to ignore it, drinking his coffee and praying the caffeine would fix him. An hour passes like this, and he had gotten next to nothing done when Rocky comes barreling into the room

"Grace! Simon make something! Already very good engineer. Show show show!"

At this point, Grace was almost fluent in Eridian, but Simon still had trouble, so the translator remained on. He breathed out a laugh, feeling a strange deja vu to his students acting similarly when their friends did something cool and needed Grace to see it too. Simon walked in behind Rocky and held out some sort of structure built out of xenonite

"You started learning how to use the xenonite? That's amazing! I was wondering where the two of you were this morning."

Simon looked a little embarrassed at the statement, "Sorry about that. I had an idea for the greenhouse at like 4am and was worried I would loose it if I waited. Trust me, I had to pry Rocky away from you."

"Made Mary promise to keep watch. Let Simon Rocky know if anything wrong."

"It's an irrigation system," Simon continued, attention turning back to his creation, "Since the soil has been used for over a decade at this point, the plants were having trouble breaking through or getting proper water."

Simon and Rocky took turns talking about the contraption, how it was made, what they wanted to improve, Simon's plans for more. Ryland tried to pay attention, really he did. He was interested! Not necessarily in engineering or botany, but the way Simon talked about it was always captivating, but his focus was spotty and the pain in his body was making itself known

It seems that this discomfort did not go unnoticed, "Hey. Are you alright? You look out of it." Simon did that adorable thing where he tilts his head when he asks questions, genuine concern present in his face

Grace tried to wave it off, "Sorry! I didn't get great sleep last night, I promise I'm listening."

Simon's eyes narrowed as he took a step forward and searched Ryland's face. He had a way of making Grace feel like his soul was being observed, he tried not to squirm under his gaze as his traitorous heart skipped a beat

"Mmmm," Simon hummed, "You look really pale too. Have you been drinking water?"

Ryland nodded, suppressing the shivers in his body to not tip off Simon or Rocky

"Grace shaking statement. Grace cold question?" Of course he wasn't going to fool Rocky

"Really guys, I'm fine. Just a little tired."

Even though Rocky doesn't have a face, Simon and him shared a disbelieving look. 'I can't believe I'm being teamed up on.'

"Fine!" Grace threw his hands up, "I'll go take a quick nap. Happy?"

"Happy happy happy! Rocky stay and watch this time. Rocky promise." Rocky did his little jazz hands, taking the edge off of the slight annoyance Grace felt at being mothered by an space ex-cultist and a rock. Tension seemed to drop out of Simon's shoulders as he started to make his way out of the lab, likely to the greenroom to implement his new irrigation system. It seemed like he trusted Rocky to make sure Ryland got to bed. Grace rose from his chair and his legs immediately buckled. Rocky did his best to catch him with his ball, but the impact still hurt. Through the little dots in his vision, he saw Simon rush to his side

"Woah what was that?" Simon's hands hovered just above Ryland's skin. They were definitely closer now than they were when Rocky and Grace found Simon, but there were still barriers that neither had really dared to cross unless necessary, but at that moment, Grace wanted nothing more than for Simon to hold him. Instead, he slumped over Rocky, simultaneously feeling way too hot from his ball and also comforting being supported by his best friend. Rocky chirped curiously, echoing Simon's sentiment as he shifted to be closer to Grace against the xenonite panels

"Heart is fast. Cause of falling question?"

Grace just groaned, he felt so weak and awful, eyes squeezed shut from the bright lights that were making his headache worse

"Let's get him to bed first, we can worry about what's wrong in a minute."

Grace vaguely registered an arm being wrapped around his back as he was hoisted up. He barely held his own weight, leaning heavily on Simon as they made their way to the bed. Once Ryland had been lowered onto his bed, he immediately missed the touch

"Ryland, what going on?" Grace heard the slight panic in Simon's voice, though he was trying to maintain a calm demeanor

Grace just let out a long breath, "Head hurts. Body hurts."

He heard Simon hum in thought and cracked his eyes open. Before his sick brain could react, Simon braced his hand on Rylands cheek, leaned down and kissed him gently on his forehead. If his brain wasn't working before, it definitely wasn't now. Grace was frozen but Simon continued as if nothing had happened

"You're warm. You have a fever," his hand didn't move from his face, slightly callused and tracing faint lines on Ryland's cheekbone. He leaned into the touch without thinking, grateful for the comfort

"New word. What mean?" Rocky rolled up to the platform by Grace's bed so he could 'see' better

"A fever is something that can happen when a human gets sick. If our immune systems need help fighting off a sickness, sometimes it will raise our internal temperature to try and kill it off. However, on top of being sick, even a few degrees of change in our bodies can really take a toll. If he gets too warm, it could be really dangerous."

"Dangerous! Grace in trouble question?"

Simon removed his hand and Ryland had to quiet his protests. He continued talking as he tucked Ryland in and made sure he was in the most comfortable position, "No he's not, not yet at least. The fever should go away soon and the sickness should follow. He mostly needs to rest so his body can focus on healing him."

"Why Simon headbutt Grace question?"

Simon blinked a few times before seeming to clock what Rocky was asking, "Oh no I wasn't headbutting him. Since the easiest way to tell if someone has a fever is their internal temperature, I kissed his forehead to see if he was too warm. Lips are pretty sensitive so it's an easy way to tell."

"Have thermometers on Mary. More accurate." Rocky replied

Simon rubbed his face with his hand, "Right, I always forget you guys have plenty of resources. But trust me, he has a fever. You mind watching him real quick Rock? I'm gonna go grab a few things."

Rocky tucked his legs under him and made himself comfortable before speaking again

"Grace broken statement. Silent for very long time."

Grace snapped himself out of his partially sick and partially gay panic daze, "Sorry bud. Hard to think right now and quiet is better for headaches." He rested a hand on top of the ball

"Grace going to be okay question?"

"Of course. Humans get sick all of the time, and I'm in good hands!"

"Grace scare Rocky. Why Grace leave bed if need rest question."

Guilt twisted in Ryland's chest, "I thought I could handle it, I didn't mean to scare you."

Rocky didn't reply, just rolled onto the bed and tucked into Grace's side. Ryland smiled and wrapped his arm around him. Simon returned with an armful of things

"Okay, if Ryland gets too hot Rock, you're gonna have to move," Simon was putting things down on the small nightstand between their two beds, "but that is very cute. You can stay as long as his fever doesn't go up."

Rocky did a funny little salute like gesture. Simon sat on the side of the bed and brought a cup to Rylands lips, "Careful, it might be a little hot still." Ryland took it and drank it down. It wasn't fantastic, but palatable as he set the empty cup down, "Ginger and lemon tea. Well, mostly, it's not the exact thing but it'll do for now."

Simon dipped a rag into water, rung it out, and laid it over Ryland's forehead. Ryland opened his mouth to say thank you, but Simon was immediately on to the next thing. He was crushing something up in a bowl, "The rag will hopefully keep you a little more comfortable and help with circulation, and this should help with the muscle pains." He spread whatever was in the bowl over a very thin rag and placed it on Ryland's chest. It smelled minty and maybe something sharper

"How bad is your headache on a scale from 1-5?" Simon kept his hand busy as he added a few things into a different, steaming bowl

"Uh maybe a 3?" He was getting groggier, fighting his drooping eyelids

"If it gets worse, let me know." He stirred what was in the bowl before setting it to the side and helping Ryland sit up. He set the bowl in his lap and held the spoon up. It smelled amazing, warm and nostalgic as he let Simon slowly feed it to him. It was the perfect amount of savory and flavorful and Ryland could feel himself getting a little teary eyed

Wait what? Teary eyed? For what? Was the soup so good it was literally gonna make him cry? It was tasty, don't get him wrong, but seriously? Then he thought about it a moment more. Oh. He was crying because he can't remember the last time he had felt so loved. His best friend was curled protectively into his side, he was being spoon fed soup after being tucked in and cared for. It had been so long since he didn't have to care for himself

Ryland had always leaned on the independent side. He is stubborn, curious, and not great with people, so it was usually easier to just do things on his own. He hadn't realized how much of a toll being alone had really taken on him

"Grace leaking!"

"Can you hear me Ryland?"

Grace blinked before realizing tears streaming down his face. How embarrassing. He turned to hide his face but Simon's hand caught the side of his face, thumbing at his jaw until they were facing each other. He couldn't bring his gaze to Simon's. Simon had seen him cry before, it's not like it's a very rare occurrence, but they were usually quick and Ryland took care of himself. He felt so vulnerable, allowing himself to be held and cared for. He hated and loved it at the same time, conflicting feelings warring in his head

"Grace hurt question?" Rocky was likely checking Ryland's heartbeat and breathing to look for any irregularities

Grace rubbed at his eyes with his sleeve but the tears would not stop, "Sorry, sorry. I don't know what came over me."

Simon's face was tight, both wanting to help but not knowing how. It was clear early on that emotions were a luxury where he comes from, and so it has always been difficult for Simon to both allow himself to feel and help Grace when he got emotional. "Do you wanna sleep?"

Grace just nodded, turning into Rocky and holding him close. Rocky knocked against the paneling and then cuddled in as close as he could. Ryland was slowly drifting off when the weight on the other side of the bed left

"Wait!"

Simon turned to look at Ryland, surprised at the outburst

"Stay here? I know it's stupid, but I sleep better when you're around."

His eyes widened before walking back towards the bed, "Yeah. Sure."

Grace got comfortable again as the weight returned. He heard the familiar crack of a book spine, likely the book Simon kept next to his bed that he read at night sometimes. It was a book Ryland had recommended him about early Korean history. He said he had recognized the writing system some and seemed very interested. Stratt is many things, but underprepared has never been one of them. He silently thanks her

"Mary, lights down and Rocky translator off please."

"Of course Simon."

"Thank you."

Fatigue pulled on Ryland's body, but sleep seemed hesitant to take him. He laid there for what felt like hours, but his body ached and it felt like his head was spinning. He kept shifting to try and get comfortable but it wasn't working

"Grace need sleep statement. Stop moving."

"It's not by choice Rock"

"What's wrong?" He heard the book close and be placed onto the nightstand

"Grace keep moving. Cannot sleep if moving."

Simon winced, "Sorry, I only caught some of that. Is he having trouble sleeping?"

"Maybe the throbbing pain throughout my body is making it kinda hard to sleep, okay?" There was a tense silence before Ryland realized what he had said, "Sorry, that was rude. I get really frustrated when I can't sleep."

"Grumpy, angry, stupid."

"Yeah yeah, I know. I'm sorry."

There was shifting behind him and then there was gentle pressure running up and down Ryland's back. He drew in a sharp breath, anxiety shooting through the roof as he subconsciously flinched

Simon's hand withdrew, "Sorry. I was trying to give you another sensation to focus on besides the pain. I should've asked."

Grace flipped over on his back and took Simon's hand, "It's alright, I just have some... issues with pressure on my back."

Simon's eyes flickered with realization, "I'm so sorry, I didn't even think-"

"No no, you had a good idea and were trying to help. I get it." Simon looked unsure, guilt present in his posture, "could you do it on my arm instead?"

Ryland squeezed Simon's hand before letting go and turning his arm for easier access. Simon hesitated, searching Ryland's face for something. He either found it or didn't, but he scooched closer and laid his arm in his lap as he started tracing patterns up and down. Ryland let his eyes fall closed as he enjoyed this moment. A thought came to him and he couldn't help but laugh lightly at it

"What?" Simon asked affectionately, never stopping the light touches on his arm

"It's kinda funny, don't you think, how gentle you are?"

Simon scoffed, "Uh oh, the fever must be getting to you."

"Nope. You can't deny it."

"I can. You know what I've done." His voice lost the playful lilt and now sounded more grave

"I know the circumstances you were in too. You were a victim of so many things and yet you stay kind."

"Stop that. You don't know what you're saying." His hand stopped moving, lingering on Grace's forearm

"Simon, I've heard you apologize to Armando."

"I hit him when I woke up! I tried to hurt you and Rocky!"

"You were scared! I knew you wouldn't actually do anything. I could tell."

"I grabbed a scalpel and threatened you with it."

"Rocky remember. Tried to take out Simon's knees."

Ryland glared playfully over to Rocky before continuing, "If I had woken up in a strange place with an arm missing and two strangers, I would've actually used it."

That made Simon sputter out a laugh. God Ryland loved his laugh, "You?"

"Did I tell you about that time I called one of the most renowned doctors in my field that he was a staggering waste of carbon?" Simon's mouth dropped open slightly, "Teaching middle school is not for the faint of heart, let me tell you."

Simon's eyes dropped to his lap. The rims of his eyes were pink and he was biting his lip in a way that looked painful, "But you wouldn't actually hurt anyone. I have. We aren't the same."

Ryland sighed. Clearly this was not how he was gonna get through to him, so he switched tactics, "How did you know what to do?"

Simon looked at Ryland confused, tilting his head to the side again. It never failed to make his heart beat faster

"With the fever I mean. You seem to really know your stuff."

His hand reached for something that wasn't there anymore, around his collarbone. He let it rest there as he spoke, "My mom."

That was not what Grace was expecting. He drew in a breath, "Can you tell me about her."

A sad smile broke his face and he dropped his hand back down to his lap. A few moments passed in silence before he spoke again, "She was part of the team that took care of the last plants. When I was really little, we had a full garden. Herbs, flowers, fruits, vegetables, trees. It was under strict rules, as everything else was I guess, but the plants were very important to Eden. I was never able to go myself, but she would always tell me about her day. The steps they were taking to make sure the plants thrived, the experiments they would run, the harvest of the day. Anyway, one day I got pretty sick, but she had to still go in. There weren't really exceptions for not fulfilling your calling besides death. I spent most of the day curled up on the floor, shaking and crying and just wanting her to come back."

Ryland wrapped his hand around Simon's. He looked at Grace who was smiling at him, silently telling him to continue. "When she finally came back, she was so attentive. She had even snuck me a small, partially ripe orange. She cut it into slices and fed it to me, kissed my forehead to check for a fever, held me till I fell asleep. She brought me a mint leaf to chew on as well, explaining the properties of plants that help with sickness as she rocked me back and forth. The next morning, I felt better and she went back to the garden. She got in a lot of trouble for taking the orange and mint. I didn't see her for three days." His voice shook at the final words, tears building in his dark eyes. Rocky moved around Grace and planted himself between them, chirping worriedly at Simon. Simon breathed out a laugh and brought his forehead down to the ball

"Here." Ryland shifted and moved the bed occupants until Simon and Grace were leaning on each others shoulders and Rocky was situated in the middle at their hips. Grace returned his hand to Simon's, rubbing lightly on his knuckles and prompting him to continue

"She wouldn't tell me what happened, but I knew consequences for disobedience were severe. Just a few years later, something went wrong. The plants died with no explanation, people were getting sick and dying, and we had no idea why. All that was left of the garden was one tree."

"That's the seed you had when we found you?" Grace asked quietly

Simon nodded, "The garden caretakers were mostly assigned the blame. No one else had access to the garden, so they were socially shunned and denied a lot of basic needs. Not long after, my mom died. I was taken in by 'Father', the new leader of Eden after the loss of the garden. I was deemed well enough to become a 'Son of Eden'. Each of us were given a seed. I was told I was to do anything for the last tree, and I did. We got our hands dirty, and we were told it was for the good of Eden. I believed it. This was my family, my brothers, my father. How could they lie to me?"

There was a pause, a slight tremble in Simon's shoulders. Grace slowly brushed the loose hair from Simon's face. He took a shaky breath, "But they were never really my family. I told you about Filament station and the C.O.I. prison and then the SM-13. Y'know, when I was sure I was gonna die and that I had to save the black box, I kept telling myself 'this was bigger than me.' I heard that so many times in that god forsaken sub, but it was the first time I believed it. I wasn't going to make it out, but this box had to, and you know what I said? I asked for my mom to protect it. She's the only thing in my life that protected others, who did things because they were more than just her. I told her she shouldn't have taken that orange for me, she responded that she knew, but we both knew she would do it again and again for me. That's just who she was. She was brave in a way that I never was. You remind me of her."

Grace was crying again, silent tears falling down his cheeks. "What was her name?" He was able to choke out, voice thick

"Na-yeong."

"Do you mind if I speak out loud to her for a minute? I do it with the people I've lost in my life." Simon nods

"Na-yeong, thank you for being so brave, for protecting Simon. Thank you for being gentle, and for ensuring that your son would continue through life with a gentle and kind heart. I'm sorry you had to watch as he was tested again and again to abandon his gentleness, but I'm sure you're very proud that he remains kind. I'll try to be brave like you."

Simon was now crying, tears welling up as his breathing became heavier. Ryland hesitates for a split second before completely abandoning that notion, pulling Simon in. It's hard to tell who is comforting who, both shaking with sobs tearing at their chests, desperate but warm arms clinging to each other like separation would mean death. They let themselves cry, Simon's drying long before Ryland's. Old habits die hard, he still wasn't very accustomed to crying. Simon held Grace not like he was fragile, but like he was precious. As his cries turned more into sniffs, Simon pulled away to look at Grace

"Ever since you've found me, I've wondered how. How did a tree take me to another place entirely, likely another universe. It might be crazy, but I have a guess now."

"Simon, our roommate is a rock alien. Crazy is our normal." They both laughed

"Grace interrupt! Rocky want to hear Simon theory!"

"Hey, I caught most of that! Maybe soon we can turn that translator off for good." Rocky did his jazz hands again, but elected to stay quiet to hear what Simon had to say

Simon stayed silent for a few beats, heat rising to his face and turning his cheeks slightly pink. Grace quirked an eyebrow and smiled, "Are you blushing?"

Simon playfully pushed Grace's face away, "I'm trying to be vulnerable asshole."

"I've just never seen you blush before!" Simon glared at Grace as Rocky chirped impatiently, "Sorry sorry, I'll be quiet."

"It's just- I want to believe that my mom protected the black box. I'll never know for sure, but its reassuring to know we couldn't find it with me. But maybe," Simon let out a tense breath, "maybe she didn't just protect the black box. Maybe she protected me too. The tree is what saved me, and she's the one who took care of it. The tree brought me to you. I think she sent me somewhere I would be safe. With you."

Ryland looked at Simon's eyes, something taught but not uncomfortable hung between them. Grace felt heat that was not the fever rush to his face as his heart picked up pace. Simon reached up, holding Ryland's jaw before leaning in and kissing him on the cheek. Before he could stop it, Grace chased his lips as he drew away, but Simon covered his lips with his hand

"Nope, you are still sick." Ryland's face dropped as his groaned out his protest. Simon removed his hand

"Grace still have fever question?"

Both Simon and Ryland's eyes shot to the Eridian, seemingly forgotten. Ryland buries his face in his hands as Simon trips over his words

"Uh y-yes! Still warm, so he should get some sleep!"

"Next time Simon Grace do mating ritual, Rocky not be here. Make Rocky miss Adrian and also human squishy mating gross."

Ryland flops back on his pillow as Simon chuckles, "Yeah maybe it's better that I didn't understand most of that."

As Ryland lays back against his pillow, he realizes how exhausted he is. Rocky takes that as his queue to get comfortable again to watch Grace sleep. Simon hesitates, clearly unsure of where they stand now, but Ryland pulls him down and lays his head on his chest. Simon freezes for a moment but melts into the touch, wrapping his arm around his shoulders and resuming the patterns of touch up and down Grace's arm

"Thanks. For taking care of me, for telling me about your mom, for being here."

Simon hums, Ryland feeling it rumble in his chest and falling slightly more in love, "Of course. Thanks for listening. It meant a lot."

"We can put up a little memorial when I'm feeling better if you'd like. I have one for Olesya and Li-Jie."

"Yeah, I'd like that."

"Humans talk talk talk, no sleep if talk"

"You catch that?" Ryland asks

"If not all the words, his tone said everything." They both laugh gently as the silence takes over the room. After a bit, Rocky starts to talk. Well, not talk, it's not anything he's said before at least. It sounds more like singing. A soft, lulling string of notes. As Ryland focuses on the warmth of the two most important beings around him, the calming song, and the grounding touch, he is finally drifting off to sleep. Just before it takes him, he hears one more thing

"Thank you mom for my angel."