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What the Color Gang are up to when not on lethally dangerous adventures (our rp but we made it a crackfic)

Summary:

*green, making a sketch of furry tdl* "Hey, Red, don't he kind of look like you?"
"TAKE THAT BACK!"

or basically daily color gang shenanigans aka crack

Notes:

(Keese) these are just messages from rp copied into ao3
idk I thought it was cool lol :3

(Yuri) I was laughing my ass off during that----

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

"Red, are you sure you aren't related to him? You're identical minus the head." Orange presses Red after already teasing him for a while. And by a while, we mean just about since the dawn of their friendship – and now relationship.

"I AM NOT RELATED TO TDL- THAT'S YOUR BROTHER, NOT MINE!!” Red squeals. He'd never be related to that bitch. "BRO YOU LOOK MORE SIMILAR TO HIM THAN ME!"

"NO I DON'T” They push back.

"YEAH YOU DO, YOU GOT THE HOLLOW HEAD AND EVERYTHING!! THAT’S MORE THAN I HAVE!!”

“YOU HAVE A SIMILAR HEX CODE, AND WHEN WE DRAW HIM WITH CAT EARS HE LOOKS A LOT LIKE YOU!!”

"MY CAT EARS ARE JUST A HEADBAND”

"YOUR HEX CODE ISN'T"

"I'M LITERALLY SO MUCH DARKER THAN HIM”

"WELL YEAH, YOU AIN'T TWINS. YOU'RE NOT GONNA HAVE IDENTICAL HEX CODES, YOU'RE GONNA HAVE SOME DIFFERENCES!!”

"YOUR HEX CODE AIN'T THAT DIFFERENT EITHER”

"IT'S A LOT MORE DIFFERENT!! AND THE HEX CODE WAS CHOSEN BY AN OUTSIDE SOURCE, NOT GENETICS!”

"LESS DIFFERENT THAN ANYONE ELSE'S IN THIS HOUSE”

"NOT YOU!”

"SHUSH. GUYSSSSSSSSSSSSS WHO'S MORE SIMILAR TO HIM?”

"Well. Orange is straight up his sibling.. but Red does have an uncanny resemblance.." Yellow adds.

"Ehh, I think Red looks similar. They've got the same vibes too." Green remarks.

"GUYS. ORANGE AND RED ARE DATING. HAVE YOU CONSIDERED IT’S A LITTLE WEIRD TO TALK ABOUT THEM BEING RELATED TO THE SAME STICK??" Blue remarks, boutta crash out.

"...I'll take that. Yeah, let's drop this.” Red kinda forgot about that tbh.. haha.. that's a little weird..

"Awww.. I just got the popcorn!" Green says – not giving a damn about anything else. He needs that drama… mmmm..

"Can I have some :333" Red says, somehow mimicking the cat face onto himself.

"Yeah :33” Green replies, also mimicking the cat face.

"Green. You better not be trying to steal my man.” Orange says, jokingly. Green would never-

"If anything, I'd wanna steal you” Green flirts. That was.. unexpected..

blue and yellow in the back going :0

"That was smooth." Blue whispers.

"Dammmmn." Yellow whispers back.

"..I'll just take the popcorn.” Orange says, denying the polycule. Noooooo.. my red/orange/green (and maybe purple yellow and blue (mmmmmm polysticks……)).

Green is in the back frowning cause his polycule request got denied >:[

"..No polycule?" Red asks Orange, also frowning.

"No! ..Give me some time to think. ..It could be nice..” Orange mutters. More than one boyfriend.. mmm.. and maybe a Purple… yeees, my SecGreenRedPurp polycule….. (that ship needs more fics.)

Yellow whispers to Blue. "..Should we join their polycule?"

"..I don't know.. we're lesbians??"

Yellow has a pan shaped and pink-yellow-blue colored realization. "..Okay but are you sure-"

“NOOO DON'T TELL ME YOU'RE BI” Blue yells in agony. There's too many bisexuals here. Where's the diversity???

"Nonono- Never; we have enough of those.. Possibly pan...”

“Great, now there's gonna be 2 sticks flirting with my kitchenware…” Blue dramatically covers her face with her hand.

"..WHO WAS THE FIRST ONE” Yellow asks in shock.

"Orange..? how do you forget that”

"....."

"....."

"Shut up.” Yellow thought Orange was also bi. Such a good friend.

"..."

"..."

"..."

*microwave beep beep*

"I mean. Wanna start a food fight?”

Green looks up with that mischievous grin. "Hell yeah.”

Green proceeds to absolutely manhandle the bowl of popcorn, eating some, and throwing part of the bowl into Red. And some butter. You can't forget the butter. And you can’t forget the salt. Green grabs and dumps an entire container of popcorn salt onto Red. I did not know of such a thing as popcorn salt, what is America even about.

"Lemme make another trebuchet!" Yellow says, running back to her room to get stuff.

"FUCK YEAH" Red is absolutely and completely unbothered with the fact that he is now basically entirely popcorn. He eats some of the popcorn on the floor. Y'know- five second rule!

We all know who (it's a hc Orange does this trust) shouts "LANGUAGE” the second they hear Red say fuck.

"Yellow, get their ass!" Red and Blue chant, pumping their fists.

"On it!" Yellow yells as their trebuchet hurls a massive food mush ball thingy at Orange.

"Imma call Purple, they're gonna love this!" Green grabs their phone and dials Purple. She needs to join in on this.

"Yeah, what do you need?” Purple answers, calmly. -Calmly?! Get with the program!

"Get your fluid or trans or whatever these queer authors hc you as ass over here- we're starting a food fight!” Green- shut up and leave our hcs alone. Or we'll make you a basic bitch American cishet white male. Which would be a crime of the highest degree in this fandom.

"Why do you guys always do stupid shit like that... I'll be there in 5. AND IMMA WIN THAT FIGHT-” When you can’t believe how stupid your friends are but you’re lowkey no better ahh

"YOU BETTER WIN, I’M BETTING 25 ON THAT" Green screams. He already made a bet with Red about this. Figures.

5 minutes later, Purple slams into the wall, half lodged in like a cartoon character. There's also a cartoon *boing* sound effect with it.

They all watch horrified, before all throwing a shit ton of food at her. Like a ton of food. Enough to feed a small country for a year's worth of food.

"NOOO I DONT WANNA LOSE 25 DOLLARS" Green reaches out, but doesn’t step in, knowing he’ll get smited by a certain god-like orange hollowhead if he tries to protect Purple. She’s alone on this one fr.

"PAY UP!!" Red starts cackling manically like a certain hollowhead-

Yellow mutters something. "ngl you lowkey sounded like Da-"

Blue cuts them off. "YELLOW.”

Red, who is completely valid for this, throws the whole popcorn bowl onto Yellow, Blue gets caught in the fire. "I DIDN'T!! I DO NOT SOUND LIKE HIM!!"

Purple starts to cackle at the scene. "I see you're joking about a traumatic event. TWINS!" They throw more food at Red.

Orange draws an entire fridge and just dumps the contents into everyone. Cause why not. They can do that with one of their weird powers, so might as well. "Here's a restock! I don't want anyone running out of ammo!"

Yellow stammers. "Hey this isn't fair- they can just draw more ammo!"

Orange, clearly remembering the whole ‘I have world-defying powers’ thing, decides not to care. "I'M THE GOD OF CREATION I CAN DO WHAT I WANT”

Yellow says something quietly so they can't hear. "..and a narcissist-”

"YELLOW SHUT UP I DONT WANNA GET SMITED" Blue screams. Cause apparently Orange can do that. Everyone learned a lot that day from the whole machine experience.

Orange looks up at the two, with a very misleading grin- "Too late :3" -and proceeds to throw frozen meat at Blue and Yellow.

"WHAT DID I DO??" Blue cries out while a slab of juicy, frozen steak gets slapped across their face.

Green replies instantly. "Date a girl who throws tnt at any opportunity. Should've known she's insane.”

"Oh that's a good idea! I'll get some!" Yellow, running to her room to get tnt. Now this is the others’ fault – they gave her the idea!

"NO" everyone, all dropping the food to hold Yellow back from blowing them up. Cause she will do that. She's done it on multiple occasions.

Purple screams "DO IT!" and takes out her fireworks. Clearly the best influence towards Yellow in the group.

"NO-!" Everyone else screams. It's fine, this happens like twice a week.

Yellow’s tnt clashes with Purple’s fireworks, making an explosion big enough to blow up the PC. Blue screen ensues. Who coulda guessed :3.

Alan walks in and has a breakdown. "AGAIN?!!?! THAT'S LIKE- THE 5TH TIME THIS WEEK!! ..Shit I guess I gotta kidnap Vic again so he can fix it”

Vic, very mad, fixes the pc with his hacker powers or whatever, idk. He made the repair bad on purpose cause spite >:3. "..I better have an amazing makeout session with my poly.." He mutters, still mad. Why did he agree to this…

Green stammers. ..They don't want to lose their 25 dollars.. "So like... who won the food fight?”

"Not Purple – pay up." Red leaves his hand outstretched, signaling his need for payment.

Green gives up fighting, knowing he has no chance after Purple’s ‘spectacular’ entrance. "DAMN IT." He hands Red 25 bucks, defeated.

"YESYESYESYESSS!!” Red screams in glee. To be honest, he didn't think Green would pay up.

The end. Idk. Curtains close. Everyone lived happily ever after or something. And destroyed the PC a few more times. Why not :333.

Notes:

(Keese) yummy crack hehe hoped you like it :3
also Yuri can't say she didn't do anything- I'ma force her to be proud of herself lol
..also. uhm. last time I made crackfic it got a fuck ton of kudos. idk people really fucking love crack here. so we did it again. hehe :3

(Yuri) okay, this time I did write a lot so Keese can give me credit,,,,, They still did more though.