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Enid Sinclair had made the mistake of telling her friends that Wednesday Addams was cuddly. She hadn't meant for it to happen, it simply did while rambling about what they had done the night prior. She realized the gravity of her error approximately three seconds after the words left her mouth.
“No,” Bianca said.
Enid blinked. “No?”
“No.”
“Okay, but you didn't even let me finish.”
“I don't need to.” Bianca stabbed a fork into her salad with the grim certainty of someone delivering a verdict. “Wednesday Addams is not cuddly.”
“She absolutely is!”
Yoko snorted into her drink.
Divina looked up from her phone. “Enid, I love you, but this is Wednesday we're talking about.”
“Yes! I know who I'm dating!”
“Do you?” Bianca asked.
Enid stared at her. Across the table, Eugene was already grinning. He had the expression of someone who had been waiting all lunch for this exact argument to happen.
Enid pointed accusingly at all of them. “You guys are doing that thing again.”
“What thing?” Yoko asked innocently.
“The thing where you act like I'm lying about my own girlfriend.”
“Not lying,” Divina corrected. “Perhaps experiencing an elaborate delusion.”
“DIVINA.”
“I'm kidding!”
“You're not!”
“I am.”
“You're smiling!”
“That's because you're adorable when you're angry.”
Enid threw her hands into the air. This was ridiculous. Completely ridiculous. She had been dating Wednesday Addams for long enough that everyone at Nevermore had stopped pretending to be surprised by it. Their relationship wasn't exactly a secret. It hadn't been for quite a while. Wednesday sat with Enid at lunch. Wednesday walked Enid to class. Wednesday had been seen kissing Enid beneath the courtyard archway more times than Enid could count. Wednesday's hand had become a near-permanent fixture somewhere on Enid's person around her wrist, resting on her thigh, tangled with her fingers, occasionally buried in the back of her sweater when they walked.
Everybody knew Wednesday loved her. That had never been in doubt. The problem was that nobody believed Enid when she explained what Wednesday was like when nobody else was looking.
“She sleeps on top of me,” Enid said.
Four faces stared back at her.
“Like a cat.”
Bianca slowly lowered her fork.
“A very pale, homicidal cat,” Enid clarified.
“That's more believable,” Yoko admitted.
“Thank you!”
“Not the cuddling part.”
Enid groaned and dropped her forehead onto the table. She could still remember the first time she had discovered it. Not the first time Wednesday had touched her. That had happened fairly early in their relationship, although every instance had been so understated that Enid had initially wondered whether she was imagining things. Wednesday wasn't exactly known for casual physical affection. Even holding hands had once been accompanied by an expression suggesting that she was enduring a particularly tedious medical procedure. But somewhere along the way, something had changed.
It had started with Wednesday falling asleep beside her. Then beside her became against her. Then against her became curled around her.
And eventually Enid had woken one morning to discover Wednesday practically wrapped around her like an exceptionally morbid koala, one leg hooked over Enid's hips, her face buried against the hollow beneath Enid's jaw, both arms locked around her waist.
Enid hadn't moved. She had barely breathed. She had simply stared at the ceiling in stunned silence and thought, Oh my God. Wednesday had made a tiny, sleepy noise and pulled her closer. Enid had nearly died.
And it hadn't been a one-time occurrence. Wednesday Addams, apparently, was a cuddle monster. She just happened to be a cuddle monster who would rather walk barefoot through a graveyard than allow anyone else to know it.
“She literally sits in my lap,” Enid continued, lifting her head. “All the time.”
“Wednesday?”
“Yes!”
“Voluntarily?”
“YES!”
Bianca's eyebrows rose.
Enid pointed at her. “Don't look at me like that.”
“I am trying to picture it.”
“Picture harder.”
Yoko laughed. “I don't know, Enid. We've known her for a while now and I've seen her threaten people with bodily harm over relatively minor inconveniences. I've watched her dissect things at breakfast. I've watched her stare at a spider for twenty minutes because she was apparently fascinated by the way its legs moved.”
“Exactly!”
“That doesn't support your argument.”
“It does to me!”
Divina finally put down her phone. “Okay. Explain the cuddling.”
Enid sat up straighter. Gladly.
“She likes being held.”
Silence. Enid waited. Nothing.
“She does!”
Bianca's expression was becoming dangerously close to pity.
“Oh, don't you dare.”
“Enid.”
“She does!”
“Does Wednesday know you tell people this?”
Enid hesitated. That was perhaps the wrong answer. Bianca's eyes widened. Yoko immediately began laughing.
“Oh my God,” Divina said. “She doesn't.”
“She doesn't need to know!”
“ENID.”
“She would deny it!”
“Because it isn't true?”
“Because she's embarrassed!”
That shut them up for approximately half a second. Then Eugene said, “I believe Enid.”
Enid's head snapped toward him.
“THANK YOU, EUGENE.”
He shrugged. “I mean, she once told me Wednesday let her braid her hair.”
“She did!”
“That's weird enough that I believe it.”
“It wasn't weird!”
“Enid, Wednesday's relationship with her hair is more intimate than most people's relationship with their partner.”
“That's…”
Enid stopped. Because, unfortunately, that one was kind of fair. She folded her arms.
“Okay. Fine. You guys don't have to believe me.”
“We don't,” Bianca said.
“Bianca!”
“But we believe she loves you.”
Enid's indignation faltered. Bianca's voice softened slightly.
“Obviously.”
Yoko nodded. “Yeah. That's never been the question.”
“Then what's the question?”
“How much of this…” Divina waved vaguely at Enid. “Soft Wednesday thing exists.”
Enid's mouth opened. Closed. She looked around the table. They were genuinely curious. Not mocking her anymore. Not entirely, anyway. And suddenly Enid felt something twist inside her chest. Because she understood why they didn't believe her. Wednesday had spent years making sure nobody could.
The Wednesday Addams everyone else knew was real. Enid would never deny that. She was morbid and strange and frighteningly intelligent. She liked torture devices and taxidermy and old horror films. She could say the most appalling thing imaginable in a completely neutral voice and then look genuinely confused when everyone else recoiled. But there was another Wednesday.
A Wednesday that had existed long before Enid. A little girl with dark braids and a fascination with monsters who had once cried so hard over a fairy tale that her father had needed to carry her to bed.
Because the knight had killed the dragon. Wednesday had been inconsolable. Not because the dragon had been frightening. Because the dragon had been beautiful. Because, according to six-year-old Wednesday Addams, the dragon had clearly been misunderstood and the knight was a murderous psychopath who had been celebrated for committing an atrocity. She had sobbed into Gomez's shoulder and demanded to know why stories always insisted that the creatures who looked frightening had to be evil.
She had cried openly then. She had laughed openly, too.
She had never been expressive, not ion the usual sense. But still far more Animated. Weird in a way that wasn't carefully controlled. When she became excited, she had would bounce on her heels and flail her arms a bit. When she was nervous, she had rocked slightly or beat on her leg with her hand. When something fascinated her, she would repeat details over and over until everything was memorized. When something hurt her, she had cried.
She had been diagnosed autistic when she was young. And somewhere along the way, she learned that even that was something she could be punished for.
But Nero had been the moment everything truly changed. Nero had been her scorpion. Her little companion. And some children had decided that because Wednesday was strange, because she kept a scorpion, because she talked about death and monsters and poisons, they were entitled to destroy something she loved.
They killed Nero simply because they could. Wednesday had learned something that day. The world didn't merely dislike strange things. Sometimes it went looking for the softest part of them.So she buried it. She stopped crying where anyone could see.
Stopped rocking. Stopped bouncing. Stopped stimming. Stopped talking too quickly. Stopped letting excitement spill over her face. She became very good at making herself unreadable. And eventually, everyone believed that was simply who she was.
Everyone except Enid. Enid, who had somehow been handed the key to the locked room and had never once tried to force the door open. She had simply sat outside it. Waited. And when Wednesday finally opened it herself, Enid had smiled.
That's all she'd done. Smiled.
She hadn't laughed when Wednesday became overwhelmed and needed to pace around the room. She hadn't teased her when Wednesday became so excited about some obscure piece of forensic history that she spoke for fifteen straight minutes without realizing it. She hadn't recoiled when Wednesday buried herself against Enid's chest after a nightmare of sunshine and unicorns. She simply listened. She always listened. Even when the subject was something Enid found horrifying.
Especially then. Enid looked back at her friends.
“She's still Wednesday,” she said quietly.
Bianca's expression changed.
“She just doesn't have to pretend with me.”
No one immediately joked. Enid smiled faintly.
“She smiles.”
Yoko's eyebrows shot upward.
“Okay, now you're definitely lying.”
“I'm NOT!”
“She smiles?”
“Yes!”
“Like, actually smiles?”
“Like a real smile!”
Divina looked horrified. “We've known the same person for three years and I've never seen that.”
“That's because you guys aren't me.”
“Apparently,” Bianca muttered.
Enid leaned back, crossing her arms with a smug little smile.
“She gets excited. She gets clingy. She cries sometimes. She stims. She'll sit in my lap while I'm doing homework and just… stay there. Sometimes she crawls into bed and basically wraps herself around me.”
Eugene's smile softened. Enid continued.
“And sometimes she gets really happy about something completely horrible, and she looks so pleased with herself that it's honestly adorable.”
Yoko stared.
“That's the most disgusting sentence you've ever said.”
“Thank you.”
“I'm serious.”
“So am I.”
Enid's smile grew.
Because she could picture Wednesday perfectly. Probably sitting somewhere in their dorm right now. Probably waiting for Enid.
Probably pretending she wasn't waiting. And Enid knew that if she walked through the door and opened her arms, Wednesday would come to her without hesitation. The thought made her chest ache.
“She's soft,” Enid said.
Bianca made a face.
Enid glared.
“I mean it.”
And then, because she couldn't help herself, Enid added, “My girlfriend is secretly the softest person I've ever met.”
From somewhere behind her came a very familiar, very flat voice.
“Interesting.”
Every hair on Enid's body stood upright. The entire table froze. Slowly, Enid turned around.
Wednesday stood behind her. Her black uniform was immaculate. Her braids were perfect. Her expression was completely blank. Enid's stomach dropped.
“Oh.”
Wednesday looked at her. Then around te table. Finally, her gaze returned to Enid.
“Please,” Wednesday said, “continue.”
Enid swallowed. Nobody at the table moved.
Wednesday's expression remained perfectly impassive. But Enid knew her. She saw the tiny twitch at the corner of Wednesday's mouth. The faint flush creeping beneath her pale cheeks.
And most importantly, she saw the way Wednesday's fingers flexed once at her side. Embarrassed.
Mortified.
Enid's grin slowly returned.
“Oh, I'll continue.”
Wednesday's eyes narrowed. Enid turned toward her friends.
“You see, this is exactly what I'm talking about…”
“Enid.”
“She's adorable when she's embarrassed.”
“I will bury you.”
“See?”
Enid looked triumphantly at her friends.
“That's her love language. My little goth teddy bear.”
Wednesday stared at her. There was no anger there. No real irritation. Just a devastating amount of embarrassment. Her cheeks had gone faintly pink. Enid's heart immediately melted.
“Oh my God,” she whispered. “You're embarrassed.”
Wednesday's eyes narrowed.
“Don't.”
Enid bit her lip.
“You're so cute.”
“Enid.”
“I'm sorry.”
“You aren't.”
“No, I'm really not.”
Wednesday's mouth pressed into a thin line.
She looked away. That was when Enid realized she had pushed too far. Wednesday didn't usually get flustered. She got annoyed. She got sarcastic. She got threatening. Embarrassment was different. Embarrassment meant she'd been seen. And Wednesday Addams hated being seen when she hadn't chosen what someone was allowed to see.
Her hand slipped out of Enid's.
Without another word, she turned.
Enid's smile disappeared. Wednesday smoothed the front of her uniform, clutched her bag and simply walked away.
“Wednesday…”
Nothing. She didn't turn around. Enid watched her disappear through the cafeteria doors. The warmth drained out of her.
“...Shit.”
Nobody at the table said anything. Enid stared down at her lunch. She hadn't meant to hurt her. That was the problem. She had only wanted everyone to know. She wanted them to understand what she understood. She wanted to shout it from the rooftops sometimes, because how could she possibly keep something so wonderful to herself?
Wednesday Addams was soft.
Wednesday Addams was affectionate. Wednesday Addams curled into her at night and occasionally made the tiniest contented noise when Enid ran her fingers through her hair.
Wednesday had trusted her with all those things. And Enid had just announced them to an entire table. Her stomach twisted.
“I'm an idiot,” she muttered.
Bianca's expression softened.
“Enid…”
“No.” Enid shook her head. “I shouldn't have done that.”
She pushed her fork around her plate, suddenly no longer hungry.
“She trusted me with that.”
Nobody had a joke this time. Because now they understood. Maybe not everything. But enough. Enid spent the rest of lunch feeling guilty.
By the time she returned to their dorm that afternoon, Wednesday was already there. She sat at her desk with her back to the room, journal open before her, black pen moving steadily across the page. She had clearly just come back from another investigation with Agnes, her muddy boots left beside the entrance.
Enid paused in the doorway. For a moment, she simply watched her. Wednesday looked exactly as she did to everyone else.
Perfect posture. Rigid shoulders. Dark braids hanging neatly over her uniform. Face utterly blank. No sign of the girl who had sat in Enid's lap that morning. No sign of the girl who sometimes woke up tangled around her. Enid's chest hurt.
She quietly shut the door.
“Hey.”
Wednesday continued writing.
“Hello, Enid.”
The tone was polite. Too polite. Enid's stomach sank. She crossed the room slowly.
“Whatcha writing?”
“My journal.”
“Yeah, I figured.”
Silence. Enid came up behind her. Normally, Wednesday would have glanced over her shoulder by now. Normally, she'd have made some dry remark. Instead, she simply continued writing.
Enid leaned down.
She wanted to fix it. She wanted to make everything normal again. So she pressed a small kiss against Wednesday's neck. Wednesday immediately stiffened.
Enid froze.
Wednesday's pen stopped. For one awful second, neither moved.
Then Wednesday leaned away.
Not dramatically.
Not violently. Just enough to put space between them.
Enid straightened.
“Oh.”
Wednesday stared down at the journal.
Enid's heart sank.
“Okay.”
She took a step backward. Wednesday's jaw tightened.
“Enid…”
“It's okay.”
“It isn't.”
“No, I mean…” Enid swallowed. “I get it.”
Wednesday finally turned toward her.
Her expression was unreadable. And somehow that hurt more than anger would have. Enid gave her a small, miserable smile.
“I'm gonna give you some space.”
She walked toward her side of the room. Behind her, Wednesday said nothing.
That night, Wednesday behaved perfectly. Too perfectly. She didn't crawl into Enid's lap. She didn't lean against her while Enid read. She didn't absentmindedly play with Enid's fingers. When Enid climbed into bed, Wednesday remained on her own side typing a way at her novel…not even asking for enid too come so she can sit in her lap while working like had become the norm. Then by bedtime.. She lay stiffly beneath the covers, facing the ceiling. Enid stared up aswell.. They had moved the two beds together prior and neither had the energy to push them apart leaving them in an awkward state beside each other.
This was wrong. So incredibly wrong.
“Wednesday?”
No response.
“Can we talk?”
A pause.
“Yes.”
Enid rolled onto her side. Wednesday remained still. Enid took a breath.
“I'm sorry.”
Wednesday's eyes remained fixed on the darkness.
“For what?”
“You know what.”
“I would prefer you specify.”
Enid swallowed.
“Lunch.”
Wednesday said nothing.
“I shouldn't have told everyone all that stuff about you.”
A pause.
“Why?”
“Because it wasn't mine to tell.”
That got a reaction.
Wednesday's eyes flickered toward her. Enid continued before she could lose her nerve.
“I know you're not ashamed of being… you.”
Wednesday's eyebrow lifted.
“That's an extraordinarily vague statement.”
“You know what I mean.”
“I don't.”
“Wednesday.”
A tiny sigh. Enid moved a little closer, though she didn't touch her.
“I love you.”
Wednesday went still. Enid smiled sadly.
“I love you. Not the Wednesday everyone else thinks you are. WEll I love her too but, I also love the real you. Not the scary Wednesday who stares people down and says creepy things and acts like she's never experienced an emotion in her entire life.”
“I have experienced emotions.”
“I know.”
“Frequently.”
“I know.”
“Some of them quite violent.”
“I'm aware.”
Wednesday's mouth twitched. Barely. Enid saw it anyway. Her heart squeezed.
“That's what I mean.”
Wednesday looked at her. Enid's voice softened.
“I love the real you.”
Something in Wednesday's expression changed. Just slightly.
“The you that I get to see when it's just us.”
Wednesday looked away.
Enid continued.
“I love when you get excited about something disgusting. I love when you start talking really fast about some new case, and all the clues you've uncovered. . I love when you stim. I love when you smile without thinking about it.”
Wednesday's eyes lowered.
“I love when you crawl into my lap even though you act like you don't need anybody.”
“I don't need anybody.”
Enid smiled.
“Okay.”
“I don't.”
“Sure.”
Wednesday glared. Enid's smile widened.
“See? That.”
“What?”
“That little huffy thing you do when you're embarrassed.”
“I do not have a huffy thing.”
“You absolutely have a huffy thing.”
Wednesday rolled her eyes. Enid's smile softened again.
“I'm sorry.”
Wednesday's expression went quiet.
“I shouldn't have made you feel exposed.”
“You did. It was unpleasant…”
Enid winced.
“I figured.”
Wednesday looked down at her hands.
“I don't like when people look at me differently.”
“Especially when they think they've discovered something.”
Enid's heart broke a little.
“They didn't discover anything.”
Wednesday looked toward her.
“They saw something you trusted me with.”
Silence. Enid took another breath.
“I just…”
She laughed quietly, embarrassed herself now.
“God, Wednesday. You're my girlfriend.”
“I am aware.”
“And you're amazing.”
Wednesday blinked.
“And adorable.”
Her expression immediately soured.
Enid smiled.
“And terrifying. And weird. And morbid and creepy and absolutely insane.”
“Thank you.”
“But you're also so fucking sweet.”
Wednesday's face tightened.
“Enid.”
“And you're soft.”
“Stop.”
“And you cuddle me all night.”
“Enid.”
“And sometimes you get so happy, your eyes just light up like stars. Its gorgeous.”
Wednesday pulled the blanket higher. Enid giggled.
“I'm sorry.”
“You clearly aren't.”
“No. I'm not.”
Wednesday gave her an aggravated look. Enid's smile slowly faded.
“But I really am sorry that I embarrassed you.”
Wednesday looked away. Enid waited. After several seconds, Wednesday spoke.
“I don't mind that you know.”
Enid's expression softened. Wednesday's fingers picked absently at the edge of the blanket.
“I don't even mind that you love those things.”
“I really, really do.”
A pause.
“I simply don't want everyone else to have them.”
Enid's heart squeezed. She nodded.
“Okay.”
Wednesday glanced toward her.
“Okay?”
“Yeah.”
Enid shifted closer.
“But can I tell you something?”
Wednesday sighed.
“You're going to regardless.”
Enid smiled.
“I don't think you're weak for being soft.”
Wednesday went still.
“I don't think you're childish for crying. Or weird for stimming. Or embarrassing for getting excited. I don't think any of those things make you less scary or less Wednesday.”
Wednesday stared at her.
“I think they're just… you.”
Her voice softened.
“And I love you exactly like that.”
For a long moment, Wednesday didn't say anything.Then she moved. It was so small Enid almost missed it.
Wednesday rolled onto her side. Toward her. Enid didn't reach out. She waited. Wednesday stared at her for several seconds before finally asking, quietly,
“Are you finished?”
Enid's mouth twitched.
“Mostly.”
“Good.”
Another silence.
Then Wednesday moved closer. Just an inch. Then another. Until her forehead rested against Enid's shoulder.
Enid's heart nearly stopped. She still didn't touch her. Not until Wednesday's hand found the front of her shirt and curled into the fabric.
A silent request. Enid wrapped her arms around her before leaning down and pressing a quick kiss to the goths lips. Wednesday exhaled. The tension slowly left her body.
“There,” Enid whispered.
Wednesday's eyes closed.
“Don't make it sentimental.”
“Wouldn't dream of it.”
“You are currently cuddling me.”
“Technically, you're cuddling me.”
“I am not.”
“You are literally holding my shirt.”
Wednesday tightened her grip.
Enid smiled into her hair.
“Okay. You're definitely not cuddling me.”
“Good.”
They stayed that way.
Quiet. Safe. And after a few minutes, Enid felt Wednesday's fingers begin to move rhythmically against her shirt.
One, two, three.
Pause.
One, two, three.
Enid said nothing. She simply held her closer.
Because this was the Wednesday nobody else got to see. Not because Wednesday was pretending to be someone else with everyone else. But because this girl had been hiding inside herself for a very long time.
And Enid knew better than anyone that being trusted with her didn't mean she had the right to drag her into the light. Sometimes love meant keeping the curtains closed. Sometimes it meant guarding the door. And sometimes it meant letting Wednesday Addams curl up against her in the darkness, where she could finally stop being afraid of being seen.
After a while, Wednesday's voice came quietly from against her chest.
“Enid?”
“Yeah?”
“Tomorrow, you may tell them that I am affectionate. You shall rescind all other claims if brought up…but may not if they aren't."
Enid's eyes widened.
“Really?”
“Do not become excited.”
“I'm not!”
“You are shaking with enthusiasm.”
“I am NOT.”
Wednesday's arms tightened around her.
“However,” she continued, “you will not tell them about the crying.”
Enid grinned.
“Deal.”
“Nor the stimming.”
“Okay.”
“Nor the fact that I sleep better when you're holding me.”
Enid's grin became enormous.
“Okay.”
“Nor the fact that I occasionally…”
Wednesday stopped.
Enid waited.
“...enjoy sitting in your lap.”
Enid's entire face lit up. Wednesday immediately regretted speaking.
“Actually, forget I said anything.”
“Nope!”
“Enid.”
“You said it!”
“I am retracting it.”
“You can't retract a confession!”
“Watch me.”
Enid laughed.
And this time, Wednesday didn't pull away. She simply buried her face deeper against Enid's chest, huffy and humiliated and desperately trying not to smile.
Enid held her tighter. And somewhere beneath the blankets, hidden from the rest of Nevermore, Wednesday smiled anyway.