Chapter Text
Peter cradled his face in his hands, embarrassment clear enough in the way he hunched into himself. This was one of those times he wished he could melt into the floor into a convenient puddle.
“Oh my god-“ He breathed out, scrubbing his hands across his face. Frustration and embarrassment mingled together uncomfortably in his chest. His thoughts were a jumble of options. None of them felt right in the moment. The pregnancy test sat on his desks surface, the two pink lines all but taunting him. He had been careful, he had been so careful, and still- this was happening.
“This would explain your sudden hormone level jump. Your stress levels rose from emotional distress and your body trying to balance itself around this.” Ev offers calmly enough. The gentle cadence of her voice helps Peter feel a little more grounded than he would like to admit. He had grown used to Ev’s continual presence.
“I’m mutating and I’m pregnant, fantastic.” He breathes out tiredly. “Can you tell how far along I am Ev?”
“Given the blood tests we’ve run, three months is my best guesstimate. Neither of us are qualified in this field to be exact.”
Peter grimaced, “I was shot and went through surgery, and its…. Still viable?” He’s not surprised the hospital staff didn’t test him for a pregnancy. There had been more pressing matters to attend to. They were trying to keep him alive.
“Seemingly so, Peter. Normally, I would recommend connecting with a doctor to check, but, given your unusual circumstances, I’m not sure what the best option is.” He didn’t really exist anymore, not legally. Peter’s current level of healthcare consisted of caring for himself.
“Yeah.” Peter wets his lips, exhaling sharply. “Not happening. We both know that.”
“What do you want to do, Peter?”
“Hell if I know.” He can’t exactly lie. He has no plan for this. He wasn’t alone anymore, but he had no idea how to even tell Ned, much less MJ. His heart ached at the thought of her. He and Ned had clicked again, but things with MJ were… uncertain. Not bad, but uncertain some days. They found familiar ground, a friendship that was starting to settle.
Now this could probably ruin things spectacularly. Break the sense of peace he found.
“I was so damn careful too- The one time I actually-“ He tugs at his own hair in frustration. He let his inhibitions down just once, just once and he was paying the price for it. He was so stupid. A desperate hook up wasn’t worth the stress of this.
“Accidents do happen, Peter. No matter how careful one is.”
He slumps back into his seat. “I need… to think about this.”
“Of course, Peter.”
“Can you-“ He waves his hand awkwardly, at loss for words. Ev waits, aware he needs a moment sometimes. “Do some research about abortion for me? I don’t think I can do that right now.”
“Certainly. I’ll begin gathering data now. So we can go over all your options.”
“Thank you.” He moves to pick up the pregnancy test. Peter finds himself just staring at the pink lines.
“Maybe order me another pregnancy test, as a back up. Just in case.”
“Of course, adding it to your grocery order now.”
Peter can’t help but openly grimace at that, “What the hell is my life?” Every time he ordered anything after this, he would see a pregnancy test in his recommendations. A perpetual reminder of his foolishness. A specter lingering even when he figures this out.
“A series of choices you’re in the process of making.” He could almost detect sarcasm in her voice. Almost.
“Yeah, yeah-“ He shakes his head, pushing himself up and out of his chair. His gaze lingers on the test as he walks. His body carries him as his mind tumbles over what all of this meant for him. His mind was rarely quiet, but this felt like too much. He only tears his attention away from it when he finds himself standing in front of his garbage can.
He drops the test into it. Peter finds himself locked in place, staring down at where it fell. The pink and white plastic are jarring against the loose trash of take out containers and old receipts. A clear interloper to the life he had built over the last four years. Peter grits his teeth, flicking his gaze away forcibly to his messy kitchen counter. He moves to push loose things from the countertop (paper bags, an empty protein powder bottle, plastic utensils and some used napkins) directly into the garbage can. He keeps swiping things aside, until the cheap plastic can is overflowing.
The test disappears under the new mess he’s created. His world is simple again. Just for a moment. He bends down, picking up loose things that hit the floor to throw at the can. The motions jerky and mechanical as he tries to not look too deeply at the can. Peter is half afraid if he looks, he’ll see it again.
He did not want to see it. He couldn’t. He needed it gone.
He forces himself to step back, averting his gaze to stare at his sink. Dishes were drying on the rack, dripping into the sink itself.
He blew out a breath, just leaning heavily against the edge of his countertop. “Fuck.”
He reaches out to find his dish towel, fumbling his way through drying his dishes. The muscle memory carries him through the task even while his mind stays far too active for his liking.
When the dish rack is empty, he stalks off in search of anything else to do. Peter isn’t even surprised when he finds himself gravitating towards his spider suit. He left it next to his desk. His jeans and shirt finding a new home on the floor as he works on changing. The familiar tug of fabric over his face, is the balm he needed. Tension eases out of him as he stretches.
“I’m going on a quick patrol, Ev. Be back soon.”
“Don’t strain yourself too much. You’re still healing from your injuries.” Peter is at least glad Ev isn’t fixated on… this baby thing. More about the bruising along his legs and back from a hard blow into a wall earlier in the week.
“Yeah, yeah-“ He moves to jog up the stairs, making his way up and out of his apartment to the rooftop. Patrolling is soothing by now. Not easy by any regard, but soothing. Peter knew what to do. Spider-Man knew what to do.
—
The buzzing of his phone against his hip is enough to make Peter blink tiredly. He stalls where he's standing on the edge of a roof, taking a few steps back. He pats at the fabric of his suit, fingers finding the hidden pocket. He slides the flip phone out from within its safe confines to pop it open.
He finds himself smiling a little at the familiar yet… still so new text from Ned. An invite to come over for a movie night in. A threat for next time to be Lord Of The rings marathon if Peter skipped.
Peter chuckles softly, shooting a reply back without much thought. He would not miss a movie night with his bestie.
His brows pinched together as he takes in the time at the corner of his phone screen. “…I’ve been out this long?” He murmurs. It had been early in the day when he took off, maybe nine am at best. Now it was drudging towards the late evening. Peter hesitates for a moment before shooting off another text asking about food.
Unsurprisingly, Ned knew him well enough to have ordered food before hand.
“My hero.” Peter laughs a little, smiling down at his screen. He texted confirmation he was on his way. He tucks his phone away into its pocket before looking over the city.
He would never stop loving New York, but… sometimes he needed a break too. He could be Peter Parker again. Even if that came with its own complications.
——
If asked, Peter couldn’t entirely pinpoint just when he fell asleep. As far as he is aware, it suddenly just happened.
He remembered arriving to the apartment, settling in for movie night. He swapped out his suit for casual clothes Ned kept for him at the apartment. He was there often enough Ned insisted on a change of clothes. Peter couldn’t argue with him about that.
He ate his body weight in Thai food. He sunk deeper and deeper into the couch between Ned and MJ. One movie turned into two, and then three. Laughter and conversation carry over the movies as the group sit shoulder to shoulder.
Now he was waking up curled up on their couch. Peter rubbed at his face, twisting under the covers. Ned had probably thrown one of his spare blankets over Peter at some point. A part of Peter wanted to get up and go home, but the rest of him wanted to stay. He was comfortable, he was safe. He didn’t need to go anywhere.
He ended up sinking back into the couch, just staring up at the ceiling. Peter closes his eyes, just relaxing properly. He could hear the city all around them. Hear the soft sounds of Ned and MJ breathing in their rooms, the gentle thuds of their heartbeats.
He blinks a little, surprised at the sting of tears that rise to the surface. He scrubs at his face, sniffling softly. Knowing Ned and MJ are right here, just within reach makes his heart ache in a way he can’t even quantify.
He loves them. He loves both of them so dearly it makes him unable to stall the flow of tears that rise to the surface.
He forces himself to take in one breath, then another. He digs the heel of his palm against his chest, feeling his heart beating against it.
He hiccuped a little, scrubbing at his face with his hand. He goes still when he hears movement in one of their bedrooms. The pad of foot steps makes Peter’s heart jolt against his ribs.
MJ comes padding out of her room.
“Peter-?”
“Y-yeah?” He grimaces at how wet his voice sounds. The shake to it doesn’t help. “Sorry, did I wake you up?”
“A little.” She says plainly, honesty still her best policy even now. “What’s going on?”
“Just, you know… sad movie night is over.” He did not mean for that to come out of his mouth. Peter opens his mouth and closes it, the clack of his teeth almost deafeningly loud.
The silence that follows is sign enough MJ also knew it was a horrible lie. She walks over to frown down at him. Her dark hair is wild from sleep. Her loose baggy pajama's are cute in a way Peter can't help but notice. Carefully styled MJ wearing something like that is cute. Something that still makes his heart do a flip. Even now when she was staring him down.
“That was one of the worst lies you’ve ever told me.”
“Yeah, I- yeah, gotta own up to that.” He admits with a wet laugh.
She bats at his leg with a hand, and Peter ends up sitting up. MJ sits down next to him, just looking down at him. Even now, she was still taller than he was.
Neither of them say anything for a long moment. Peter can’t find an excuse MJ wouldn’t see through.
“Look-“
“Are you-“
Both of them stall, realizing they spoke over each other. Peter laughs again, sniffling. “You go first.”
MJ exhales, “We’re actually friends now, you know. You can tell me things. Even if we aren’t… what we were before.” There was still an awkwardness regarding that. An uncertainty neither knew how to touch.
“I know.” Peter says a bit blandly before he manages to find his voice, “This sounds super stupid, but, uh, spider hormones.”
“….Spider hormones.”
“Don’t give me that look. I’m being serious.” He can't help the pouty edge that comes to the surface. He sniffles again, rubbing at his eyes awkwardly.
She takes in a breath, and releases it. Just accepting the situation and rolling with it. “Okay, spider hormones. They make you cry?”
“Kinda sorta. Look.” He sighs audibly, still trying to keep his voice quiet given Ned is still sleeping a room over. The last thing he needs is to wake Ned up, and this becoming a three person conversation. He loves Ned, but right now, this situation feels surreal to even talk about. MJ walked in on him crying in their living room. “Before… we re-met, I was starting to mutate again. My hormones were kind of out of wack. I think they’re still settling. So I’m feeling, weird.”
He was not going to acknowledge the pregnancy part unless MJ could read his mind, which could be a possibility. He didn't doubt her ability to see through him. Even now, she was able to look at him and know things.
“It’s a horrifying puberty 2.0.”
The sound MJ makes is definitely a choked laugh, but a sympathetic one at least. “You’re… serious.”
“Unfortunately, yeah.” He wishes he was not. Peter wishes he had more normal problems. It was easier when he was a dumb kid running around queens stopping alien weapon smuggling.
“What does… spider puberty entail exactly?”
“Natural webbing, I get overstimulated pretty easily, uh… I guess getting really emotional on occasion.” He wasn’t sure where pregnancy symptoms and the actual mutation ended to be honest. He and Ev needed to go over all of this later. “I’m keeping an eye on it.”
MJ’s shoulder bumps against his, easy unspoken affection given the strange circumstances of their renewed friendship. His heart aches and Peter finds himself biting the inside of his cheek. He has to remind himself, no matter how he feels, he won't ruin this. He won't ruin their friendship.
“You have to be the weirdest person in my life.” If anyone else said that, Peter would’ve been at least a little offended. With MJ, it felt natural. He could hear the fondness in it. “You’ve been going through this by yourself?”
“Yeah. It got worse before I… found you and Ned. It feels better-ish?”
"Okay, that's good." She stalls again. Peter can't blame her. The whole situation is weird. Weirder than weird. "Tell me if your spider hormones get worse?"
He nods, before remembering she can't see him in the dark. "Yeah, I will."
"Stop apologizing." She prods him in the side. "Go back to sleep, Parker. I have work in the morning, and you're probably going to need to sleep off running around in a jumpsuit." With that, MJ rises from the couch, plodding back in the direction of her own room. She stops, glancing back at him. Peter can see a hint of a smile before she disappears into her room. The door closing behind her. Peter reclines back on the couch, just trying to settle again.