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Standing in this pink museum of costumes, makeup, and idol merch, Airi can't help but feel some déjà vu. Except it's not her brain playing tricks on her memory, this is actually her second time here.
But wait, how did she get here in the first place? Good question. Airi would want to know the answer as well. Let's go back a bit.
About ten minutes ago, she had just been checking her alarm for tomorrow. Haruka, who was extremely determined for the Lumina Grand Prix, had upped the difficulty of MORE MORE JUMP's training sessions even more, taking advantage of their lack of gigs to get in more practice. Airi sort of expected for that to happen, but she didn't expect that it would tire her to the point where, when at home, she'd fall asleep even before her head hit the pillow. At least the others seemed to be keeping up. Something like this should be not much of a problem for Shizuku, and Minori was also doing surprisingly well in practice.
"More and more!" she would always repeat enthusiastically.
Well, Airi thought to herself dimly, what I need right now is More More Sleep!
So as her arms groaned in exhaustion and her eyes were already half-closed, she tapped her screen a few times and hoped that the alarm was set correctly. Her phone flashed once. Hopefully that was a good thing. Eh, whatever.
Collapsing on her bed, the last thought Airi had before slipping into unconsciousness was this: Why does my bed feel harder than usual?
~ ~ ~
"Wha—Airi? Are you alright? Oh no, should I call KAITO?"
A quite concerned Len shook her awake from what felt like a ten-second long nap. Probably because it was in fact ten seconds long. When he noticed Airi finally stirring from her sleep, he exhaled a sigh of relief.
"Thank goodness you woke up. I was worried that something bad happened to you."
"Huh?" Rubbing drowsiness from her eyes, Airi was trying to process why her being asleep was a problem.
Until she sat up and looked around the place where she was lying down.
This isn't my room—
Airi groaned inwardly. How did she manage to misclick the Idol Shin'eitai file while setting her alarm a second time? Then she stared back at Len, who tilted his head, hoping for an explanation.
"Nothing's wrong," she sighed, "I think I accidentally played the file and entered SEKAI before going to sleep."
"Hmm… An accident like that seems very out of character for you. Have you been getting enough rest?"
Airi's entire body wanted to scream an empathetic "NO!" in response, but she didn't have enough energy to manage that. She just slowly shook her head instead.
"Well in that case, I think it would be best for you to get going now," Len chuckled slightly.
In agreement with him, Airi grabbed her phone lying on the ground beside her and paused the track, but nothing happened. Both of their faces slowly became more confused as she tapped the pause button a few more times to no avail. Why did SEKAI have to malfunction like this right now? I just want to sleep…
"I don't recall anything like this happening before, so I don't know what to do," Len muttered, "I'll try to ask Miku or KAITO about this tomorrow."
Airi frowned. The idea of sleeping on the cold, hard stage floor to pass the night wasn't exactly appealing to her. Luckily, Len appeared to pick up on her sentiment.
"You can sleep in the green room for now," he offered, "I believe it should still be unlocked."
And so he helped her off the ground and off they walked into the backstage area. The place was dark and eerily deserted, a contrast to the atmosphere of anticipation and organized chaos that would usually fill it right before a show starts. Airi wasn't used to being backstage at a late hour like this, and—wait, why was Len even here at this time?
After she vocalized that question, he replied a little sheepishly: "Well, I wanted to learn about what goes on behind the scenes in stage production, so I asked KAITO if I could help him out with the preparations. But… something shiny distracted me earlier and I lost him."
The got a small laugh out of Airi, but his last statement still left her curious. "Huh… What shiny thing?"
"I don't know what it was… It looked like a tiny ball, but it was made of light! I could feel a strong feeling coming from it too."
That description was… suspiciously familiar, so she asked him to take her to it instead of the green room. Len obliged, a bit confused.
After a few turns of lefts and rights that Airi didn't bother keeping track of, they ended up outside a storage room with its door slightly ajar. She entered it first, and—yes, her suspicions were confirmed.
A fragment of a feeling was situated in the middle of the room, looking exactly like the one she found before.
Ahh… Here I go again… "Thank you Len, I'll be back shortly," she smiled, reaching for the fragment.
"You're welcome!" Len smiled back. Then panicked. "Wait—what?! Where are you going?"
But the SEKAI light had already encased Airi, and she disappeared from the Stage SEKAI, leaving behind a very, very perplexed Len.
The museum has a lot more stuff on display now, and it warms Airi's heart to see the new additions, each carrying a memory with them. The dresses designed for them by MORE MORE JUMP's fans, props from the event they held at the elementary school, and even letters she received from fans, ones that inspire her and remind her of why she decided to spread hope in the first place.
But something else stands out from the rest of the items.
She walks over to a solitary glass case, peering at what is within.
In it lies a peach-colored key.
And though she doesn't recognize it, a vague feeling of familiarity washes over her nonetheless.
"Huh…" Airi puts her hand on the glass, staring at the key. Or rather, what is supposed to be a key. Its rose-gold body tapers to a sharp point that made it look more like a pen, and it lacks any ridges that would suggest what kind of door it's made to open.
Honestly, she isn't even sure how she knows it's a key, given how it doesn't even look like the part at all, but somehow she's sure that it is one.
A blur of motion she notices out of the corner of her eye diverts her attention from the case and the strange thing in it. Airi quickly snaps her head left, just in time to see someone make a turn in the hallway and disappear around a corner. Someone with pink hair.
"Hey! Wait!" she calls out as she sprints towards that hallway, just barely catching glimpses of the runner. Everytime Airi rounds a corner, the runner is already turning to a new one.
The chase would normally be exhausting, but after going through Haruka's training, this was so much easier on her stamina by comparison!
Eventually the lefts and rights lead to a hallway with only a singular door at its end, which the runner swiftly enters and slams shut.
Airi isn't dumb. She knows that the person she just chased after is her past self. Many inferences she made earlier all led to that conclusion. But at the same time, it's because Airi knows her past self that she respects her decision to hide from her, at least for now.
So she just slowly walks towards the door, intending to wait outside it for a while, when she sees a TV she didn't notice in her rush earlier. It's almost completely flat on the wall to her right, and the scene playing on it right now is one she recognizes… not in a good way.
~ ~ ~
It was right after a shoot for yet another TV show. And once again, the shoot just so happened to intersect with the fan meet she had been looking forward to, so she had to reluctantly rearrange her priorities. Airi just finished packing her belongings and was about to leave, but she saw her manager talking to someone else in the lobby. The person he was speaking with looked rich and authoritative and frankly quite intimidating. Was this the "higher-up" aura she had heard about from other idols? It was scary. Airi quickly hid behind a column before they could see her, but they were too absorbed in their conversation to even notice.
Straining her ears to listen in (and feeling a little guilty for eavesdropping, but surely if they didn't want others hearing their conversation they would be in a more private place!), she was elated to hear her manager practically singing her praises to the higher-up. I'm finally on my way to become a real super idol! she thought to herself, grinning and almost missing her manager's next sentence.
"Yes, that's right. I'd like Airi to start focusing on becoming more of a variety show personality."
What…?
"Honestly," he sighed, "as an idol, she's pretty run of the mill, so I'd like to shift her work away from that…"
When he said it that way, he probably thought he was doing her a favor. Giving her a more likely path to success.
But Airi could only stare at the floor, which now seemed much more interesting than the conversation she was overhearing. This isn't what she wanted. I don't want this success, she thought hollowly, not like this. This isn't how I can spread hope…
Tears threatened to well up in her eyes, but she forced them down for now. Just for now. She briskly strode out of her hiding place and pretended as if she had never heard anything in the first place, greeting her manager and the higher-up with a plastic smile, a bow, and a quick goodbye. She was out of the doors before they could even say a word back. Maybe that'd be bad for her reputation. Maybe she would be seen as disrespectful. It didn't matter.
Airi kept up her rapid pace on the way back home, keeping her head down as much as she could while still avoiding bumping into other people. Somewhere along the way, someone tapped her shoulder, and she spun around to look at who it was.
"Oh my gosh! Are you really Happy Everyday?" A girl around her age exclaimed upon seeing her face. "I'm such a big fan! Your shows are so funny, especially the ones—"
Her fan kept chattering on, but the words barely even reached Airi's ears. Normally, she would be ecstatic to meet a fan on the street, but for today it was just too much. Why couldn't people see her as just Airi the idol instead of her TV persona?
Another addition to her growing pile of labels she tried so hard to overcome.
Too monstruous to look pretty and be cute,
Too tomboyish to be an idol,
Too average to stand out in the industry,
And too much like Happy Everyday to be the person she dreamed to be.
Now she really needed to go, or else she would break down right there in the middle of the street. So cursing to herself internally, Airi flashed her fan the same lifeless smile she showed her manager earlier, interrupting her fan's one-sided conversation with a "thank you so much, but I need to go right now," before running off.
Arriving home after what felt like hours but was more likely minutes, she was relieved to remember that everyone in her family was currently out of the house.
That allowed her to cry her heart out in peace.
~ ~ ~
It had been one of Airi's least favorite memories, and after that day she had resolved herself to be content with her situation, just vaguely hoping for a future where she could be an idol.
Because it was a good opportunity… right?
At least that's what she had convinced herself with.
That resolve didn't last long, and she eventually quit her agency, and the many other agencies that followed.
Even now, with her so much more secure in her identity, seeing her past self go through that still makes her heart clench in pain.
But still, I can't—no, I won't leave her alone. After all, my past self is also someone who needs hope!
So she turns away from the TV and towards the closed door. What could she do to help? What are the words she needed to hear back then?
Airi isn't so sure herself, but that doesn't stop her from opening the door without hesitation. Improv is one of my strong suits, after all!
Pitch black darkness envelops the room, and as she feels around the wall for a light switch, Airi can hear muffled sobs coming from somewhere. With a click!, the overhead lights switch on, and what it reveals makes her wince more than the sudden brightness does.
Everything in this room was dedicated to Happy Everyday. Merch, costumes, awards, fan mail, you name it. But the items weren't organized neatly, they were scattered around the room and mixed up in piles. And in one corner of this messy place squats Younger Airi, curled up tightly on herself.
It looked like the room itself was pressuring and suffocating her.
"… You're back, Airi," her past self mumbles reluctantly, voice inaudible if not for the total silence of this place.
"I—yes, I am…" Bravado gone now, Airi struggles to come up with words to say. The dumb response that came out was the best she could manage.
"…"
"…" This is so awkward…
"So," Younger Airi raises her head and breaks the silence, "How's your promise to be the best idol you can be?" Her tone was pleasant enough, but her cerise eyes showed the truth. Rimmed with red and puffy from crying, they drooped with a tiredness that someone so young shouldn't have had experienced. And yet, even after all these years, Airi herself still remembers that fatigue all too well.
"… It's been hard, but I think I'm on the right track so far."
Her past self exhales sharply. "Good to know that at least one of us is succeeding at that," she remarks with unfiltered snark.
"Hey! That's not true!" Airi exclaims, "You're still spreading hope to others, and you'll continue to do so in the future!"
"No… It's just like before. I'm still stuck with another label I can't escape. Since you called me a tomboy the last time we met, why don't you call me Happy Everyday now, huh?"
A stab aimed right at Airi's heart, but she isn't gonna go down that easily. "No… I won't. Because you've been able to overcome that before, and I know for sure that you can overcome this one too!"
With a sudden bang that makes her flinch strongly, the door behind her slams shut and its lock clicks into place. The overhead lights flicker ominously, and the daggers her past self now stared towards Airi suddenly made her feel like the cornered one.
"You don't understand!" Younger Airi grits and gets up, fists clenched. "You get to be an idol. You get to sing and dance and MC on a stage, and you get to hear your fans tell you all about how they've been inspired by you! But—" her voice cracks, "—but what about me?…"
At that last line, her voice became so much smaller, much more shaky than the rest of her tirade as anger gives way to sadness. Airi tentatively approaches her with the same amount of caution one would use to try and tame a frightened cat. Once both Airis are standing face to face, the older one gently wraps the younger in a embrace, loose enough to be wriggled out of should her past self not want it. But she stays.
"… I just feel so stuck in here," Younger Airi says after a few moments. "I want to be an idol, but everyone always sees me as something else… I don't want to be—" she gestures around the room representing her TV personality. "—this."
"Hmm…" Airi has an idea and extricates herself from the hug. "You remember our signature pose, right?"
"Yeah, of course," her past self replies, confused.
"Okay, humor me a bit, but let's do it!"
"Huh?" Younger Airi still doesn't get it, but, after a second of hesitation, follows regardless. Hands into little C-shapes, thumbs pressed together, and—
"There!" Airi points at her past self's heart, grinning. "That's the most important thing to remember!"
Now Younger Airi was starting to worry that she was destined to become senile when she reached the ripe old age of 18. Noticing her disbelief, Airi exaggerates a scowl and continues.
"Hey! I meant what I said! You gotta remember that your heart will be the one to tell you what's right! Deep down, you know your own passions and identity best, so don't be swayed when other people try to tell you otherwise."
Younger Airi looks down at the pose she's still holding out in front of her chest. My heart, huh…
"Just remember never to give up on yourself, because if you keep going, you'll find people who see you as you really are. People who you can spread hope to not just as Happy Everyday, but as Airi Momoi, the super idol!"
As she finishes talking, the glass case from earlier materializes in between them out of nowhere, but the actual glass encasing what's inside is gone.
"What?!" both Airis jump backwards and yell at the exact same moment, reminding them that they are, in fact, the same person.
Shaking off her shock, Airi plucks the strange key from the air and looks towards the door. "I remember what it's like to feel stuck, too. But I was only able to move closer to my dream when I made my decision to do something, anything about it. It's a lot of trial and error, and I failed more times than I can count, but I never once regretted opening that door to my future. You won't either, I can promise that!" She passes the key to her past self, who nods in understanding.
Younger Airi closes her eyes and takes a deep breath, steeling herself for the decision she'll make. But as she looks for a keyhole to insert the key in, both Airis come to the same realization: This kind of door locks from the inside. The key isn't even needed to open it, which explains its lack of ridges. But what's the use of the key, then?
As always, SEKAI logic is more confusing than not, so when the door opens for her past self now, Airi stops questioning it.
"Thank you, Airi," Younger Airi's determined voice shakes her out of her thoughts. "I'm ready to try again, so you better not give up as well!"
"Of course I wouldn't!" Airi smirks. Standing in the doorway between here and her future, her past self looks a lot more lively now as she leaves behind this label assigned to her, and so much more confident in herself.
Perhaps what kept her stuck there for so long wasn't the lack of a way out, but rather her doubts about her identity. Is that why the key was useless?
But her time to reflect on that is cut short. Younger Airi waves goodbye before sprinting out of the door, and Airi is once again blinded by the SEKAI light bringing her back.
"—what if she never comes back? How will we find her—oh!"
Airi came back to a very panicked Len rambling to KAITO, who tried to calm him down. Noticing her arrival, Len lets out a breath he might have been holding for the past few minutes, releasing basically all the tension in his body.
"Phew… I didn't think you would make me this worried twice in one day, Airi," he smiled, relieved.
"Sorry Len," Airi chuckled, "I'll try not to let it happen a third time."
"Anyways, what was that ball of light, and where did it take you?"
"Ahh… it's a fragment of a feeling. It's actually my second time seeing one, that's why I touched it immediately. I arrived at a—" her sentence was interrupted when she took a big yawn.
Oh, right. In the fragment SEKAI she had forgotten about her sleepiness, but now that she's back here her body now remembered to be tired. Suddenly it took Airi all her effort not to just fall asleep on the spot.
KAITO, who had been quiet during the exchange, suggested that she go and finally rest.
With no objections whatsoever, Airi pauses Idol Shin'eitai and is relieved when it actually lets her leave Stage SEKAI this time.
~ ~ ~
Back in her room, Airi collapses into her bed. It had been a very long day, made even longer by her accidental SEKAI excursion. She's dimly aware that there were probably some realizations and takeaways she needs to process from her conversation with her past self, but those can wait until tomorrow.
For now…
More More Sleep…