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It was the middle of summer, the hot, sweaty, dog days that seem to stretch out forever, leaving their mark on the young and absent-minded alike with sunburns and tans. The heat of the day had soothed out into a mild warmth in the evening, and, an hour after the sun had set and the last light had melted away into the dark of night, two teenagers rode a motorcycle out past the limits of Elmville and into the rural fields south of Ashgrove. Having spotted a promising bank along the Marigold River, they spread out a large blanket over the dewy grass and laid down. They left the motorcycle not far away, the radio playing out some oldies station that it had picked up. There was a meteor shower tonight, and with a new moon and a cloudless sky, things couldn’t have been more perfect.
Fabian…wasn’t really watching the stars, though. Or – perhaps – he was, but was merely watching them reflected in the large pupils of the eyes of Riz, the biggest star in his life. He laid on the blanket, head pointed upwards, but his good eye was trained to the left and where Riz laid, the goblin engrossed in the show above them. He watched the corners of Riz’s mouth turn up in a smile, watched as his friend pointed at a particularly long streak in the sky, but his gaze never strayed from Riz himself. He loved Riz, loved him far more than anyone could as a mere friend, or even best friend.
Fabian quietly sighed, a slight heave of the chest that went unnoticed by his friend next to him. He’d felt this way for several months now, his realization of his feelings culminating during spring break when he’d watched his best friend die, the sensation of his soul being ripped apart as he saw the crumpled heap that was Riz, so tiny, so still, lying unmoving on the steps where they fought the minions of the Nightmare King. He’d acted upon those feelings when Riz, brought back to life, had once more been taken to the brink of death when he was kicked over the ledge and into an abyss, doomed to fall for who knows how long – if not forever – never to be seen again, if it weren’t for Fabian reaching out with his newly found passion for dance and his elven battle sheet. He’d leapt out, unfurling his new love out towards the falling figure, his breath held tightly as each second carried Riz further and further away from him, his sheet falling just short, but then the fire elemental Fabian had danced with, had swallowed, came out and saved Riz, had wrapped him up so gently in the sheet and kissed him, sending all of Fabian’s love to the small goblin who, unconscious, had unknowingly escaped a second death. And Fabian had been a little jealous of that fire elemental, wishing that he could kiss Riz as well, but the moment was gone, and Riz needed to be brought back to consciousness if they were going to win this fight.
And so that moment had come and gone, a fleeting instant that remained seared into Fabian’s memory. It gave him nightmares some nights, and he was nowadays more akin to sleeping with his eyepatch on to ward away the fear that lurked deep in his chest.
But tonight felt different, tonight everything felt very much alive, and Fabian felt bolstered by the warmth of the night, like he could do anything. Even confess his feelings to his best friend.
As if to encourage him, a slow love song came on the radio, and Fabian’s breath caught in his chest as the words began to wash over him:
🎵 Woah, my love, my darling
🎵 I've hungered for your touch
🎵 A long, lonely time
Fabian slowly reached out his hand, searching in the darkness to find Riz’s. He found his target and wrapped his fingers around the goblin’s small hand, Riz’s fingers too small to properly intertwine. He turned his head to look at Riz and gave his hand a small squeeze.
He watched Riz’s mouth open in surprise, and then move back into a toothy smile. The rogue turned his head towards Fabian, his eyes crinkled at the end in genuine happiness, and squeezed back. Fabian could feel his heart hammering in his chest. Now was the time, it felt so perfect…
🎵 I need your love
🎵 I need your love
🎵 Godspeed your love to me
Riz turned his head back up towards the stars, and as Fabian opened his mouth to speak, Riz spoke first, his words hesitant and wavering.
“You know, Fabian, I’ve been thinking a lot about my future, especially since we were in the forest. It, I- I saw things in there that I never told anyone about. Those things I saw scared me, and it made me face a truth I wasn’t ready for. But… I think I am now. I’ve got you here with me, and that makes it easier.”
Fabian’s heart leapt to his throat. Was this really happening? Did Riz feel the same way?
“The Ball – Riz – I, uh, I’ve been thinking a lot since the forest, too. I’ve, uh, made some discoveries about myself since then as well.”
Both boys paused, unsure how to say their feelings, hoping the other would fill the gap instead. The radio continued to play.
🎵 Lonely rivers sigh
🎵 "Wait for me, wait for me"
🎵 I'll be coming home, wait for me
Moments stretched on for what felt like eons before both boys were unable to contain their thoughts any longer.
“I’m asexual. I don’t think I can love anyone, and that scares me.”
“I think I’m in love with-”
Fabian was just a little slower, and he bit off the end of his sentence before he could screw anything up.
“What do you mean, ‘asexual?’” Fabian then asked, hoping Riz didn’t notice the words he had begun to say instead.
“It’s, well, it means that I don’t feel attraction towards people. I could be aromantic, too, meaning that I don’t feel romantic feelings, either.”
“What, you mean you can’t feel love?”
“No! I mean, sort of! I love you – you’re my best friend! And I love my mom, but… other people, loving them sexually or romantically… I just don’t get it. It doesn't feel… right. And it scares me. It scares me that I’ll always be alone because of this.”
“...Oh.”
🎵 Woah, my love, my darling
🎵 I've hungered, hungered for your touch
“You’ll… never love anyone?”
“I don’t know. I’m afraid that I won’t…”
“Would… would you want to try?”
“Try how?”
“You could… date someone. Just see how it feels.” You could date me.
“I don’t know. Doesn't that involve kissing and cuddling?”
“It doesn’t have to. Not if you don’t want it to.”
“I… I’d need to think about it. And who do you know that would want to date me?”
Me.
“Um… I could date you.”
“...You? Why?”
“Be… because you’re my best friend. And I care about you. I want you to be happy.”
🎵 A long, lonely time
🎵 And time goes by so slowly
Riz was silent except for the light ‘thump’ of his tail as he thought this over. Fabian held his breath, afraid that if he were to make any noise, any movement, that he’d change Riz’s mind for the worse.
🎵 And time can do so much
🎵 Are you still mine?
“I don’t know, Fabian. Dating… just doesn't seem like the right fit for me. Thanks for the offer, though.”
“...Oh. Right, sure. I- I get it. It’s not right for you. Sure.”
Riz rolled over to look at his friend. “Is everything alright, Fabian?” Fabian quickly turned his head away, hoping that in the dark Riz wouldn’t notice the tear that was streaking down from his good eye.
“Everything is good, The Ball.”
“What was it you were going to say?”
“Oh, it doesn't matter. I just… was afraid that people would forget me. Hah. It’s frivolous. Look at how tiny we are compared to everything out there,” Fabian said, his arm sweeping up towards the sky.
“Fabian! That’s terrible! How could you think that I could forget you! You’re too important to me! That’d be like forgetting my mom!”
“Hah, yes, it’s laughable, isn’t it?” Fabian tries to quietly sniffle. “It was just… frightening. That’s all. But I feel better talking with you about it.”
“I feel better talking about it, too. Thanks, Fabian.”
“Of course. That’s what a friend is for.”
🎵 I need your love
🎵 I, I need your love
🎵 Godspeed your love to me