Work Text:
Baxter recalled the summer of 2016 from time to time, even if he desperately tried to keep it all buried in the back of his mind. When he left Sunset Bird, he was sure it was enough that he could be part of the happy summer memories of the people he had met there for a short time, and that he had to leave it all behind once he went back to Virginia. And that included River.
They had kept it their secret, that they were dating, because River wanted it that way. Sneakily holding hands and kissing during their group hangouts, going shopping for clothes together and having a formal date watching an interactive play to having sex for the first time at the mountain lodge after telling River’s moms and sister that they were just “friends” going on a 3-day trip.
Nobody saw us in the hotel lobby
And nobody saw us with your sweatshirt on me
And nobody saw us leaving bruises on our necks
In a summer spent in a coat check
It was just supposed to be a summer fling. That is what Baxter wanted and had said as much to River when he asked him out. And River was fine with it. A suitor for the season, a summer adventure. But somewhere along the way, he had become so much more to Baxter, and that scared him. He knew, though, that there was no way they could continue dating beyond that summer, since he had to go back to Virginia for university and River was leaving for New York. He was not going to believe that anyone was going to stay for him, the real him, beyond the persona he put on briefly to entertain people before he couldn’t keep it up anymore. Those walls of his were coming down the more he spent time with River, but he had to rebuild them all over again on the night he prepared himself to say his final goodbye. River just smiled and wished him good luck with his course when Baxter said his farewell, which made him almost disappointed. That is what I wanted, though, he thought to himself. Closing the door on River was the hardest thing he had done back then, but he did it anyway. And he regretted it to this very day.
When my your friends discovered when you I left me you all in July August
No, I didn't cry, kept the lie alive
From thinking he was never going back to that part of California to settling down with a job just a city away from Sunset Bird, like, somewhere along the way, he subconsciously found comfort in being close to a place where he recently felt that seen and wanted. Though he still didn’t think he would run into River again; after all, he was a wedding planner. With the way he messed up, not even outright telling River how much he really meant to him, Baxter thought he didn’t deserve to reach out or ask to be in his life again.
And I tried to hide the feeling
But it just won't go away
And then River showed up with Terry and Miranda, his two other acquaintances from that summer, as the wedding committee of his new clients. River was sporting sunglasses and a cap, hiding his black hair except for the undercut. He looked paler and skinnier than the last time Baxter saw him. He stood behind everyone else who were crowding around, trying to figure out who Baxter was. River still hadn’t spoken, and he couldn’t tell if he recognised him or not from his neutral expression and also because he couldn’t see his eyes. Once Baxter gathered himself again, words poured out of him with a polite apology, in his effort to maintain professional distance while trying to put out any fires from how he left things that summer. Terry and Miranda still seemed not to know they used to date from the way they responded, and River wore a wide grin as he dismissively waved his hand. “I don’t know what you are talking about. Let’s get on with the wedding.”
Let's pretend nothing happened, I agree
But you're a much better actor than me
When they all met again in his office the next morning, River sat in one of the desk chairs, completely relaxed in it and fiddling with his phone. He was still wearing a cap and sunglasses for some reason. When it was decided someone from the wedding committee would go with Baxter to Xake, they all seemed a bit concerned about leaving River to it, but it didn’t seem to be because of their history. River leaned against the window, looking out and didn’t speak all the way to the bakery in the car, leaving an uncomfortable silence. When they met up with Xavier, Baxter introduced them to each other and explained the reason they were there. But out of nowhere, Xavier zeroed in on River. “You are not River Brooks, the singer, right?” Baxter was about to deny it since River’s last name was James as far as he could remember when River spoke. “Ah, yes, that’s me. A fan, huh?” he said with a smile. Xavier went full fangirl on him while asking for an autograph, while Baxter stood frozen to his spot, a million thoughts going through his head. A singer? Is he famous? How do I not know? Is Brooks his artist name or? The thought made his stomach churn.
But the church bells won't stop ringing
For an undead wedding day
When they finally got back to the topic of the cake, Baxter unintentionally brought up how he and River baked cupcakes a day before Miranda’s birthday to try to convince Xavier to take the last-minute job. Their eyes went wide and flew between the two men, making Baxter immediately regret the anecdote. “You knew River from before? I thought he was here because of your clients.”
“I barely even fucking know him”
River said casually with a smirk, which made Baxter’s blood run cold. He willed himself to get his mouth moving again and get back to the subject of their visit, trying his best to brush off what happened before. Xavier seemed to notice the drop in temperature since they didn’t bring it up again. While the wedding industry collaborators brought out their notepads to officially put in the order, River excused himself to take a call from his manager. With him gone out of the bakery, Baxter hesitantly asked, “Is he really that well-known?” Xavier dropped their pen, wide-eyed. “You don’t know him? Then how do you-” Their voice trailed off, but seeing his expression, they sighed and continued, “No, never mind. And yes, he is kinda famous, though I guess not everyone would immediately recognise him. He sang the song ‘Dare You’ in the animated movie ‘A Letter to Tomorrow’, which became a massive hit. Oh! He was also on Harper Ron’s Talk Show quite recently with the actress who is going to voice act in the sequel.”
After he wrapped things up with Xavier, he found River still talking on the phone outside. Spotting Baxter, he followed him to the car. After dropping River off at Jude and Scott’s home, he drove back to his office. One of the first things he did once he was back at his desk was to look up the name River Brooks. There was little to no personal information available on him immediately other than what Xavier had told him, along with mention of a few albums he had released. It seemed he had protected his personal information as much as he could. The internet didn't even know about his moms, sister or that he was specifically from Sunset Bird in Southern California. However, something caught Baxter’s eye when he was looking at the news section: “Is Marie Williams dating the ‘Dare You’ Singer?” His chest ached, and his hands felt clammy, but he clicked on the article anyway. It seemed Marie Williams was the actress that Xavier mentioned River had appeared with on the talk show. Apparently, they met for the first time on the show, instantly hit it off, showed great chemistry, and were later spotted hanging out together at date-like locations.
When you meet a girl on some TV show
There's a side of you that she'll never know
The next day, Baxter surprised the wedding committee by taking them bowling when things were getting a little heated up between the grooms-to-be. It was the same bowling alley that Baxter had brought River to years ago. Once they began bowling, the tension between the couple seemed to ease, making everyone else relax as well and have a good time. After the activity, Baxter suggested they all grab food at the bowling alley itself. They were all sceptical about him suggesting they have food at a run-of-the-mill place but let it go after a bit of light teasing. Baxter was the last of them to go to the counter to order his food while everyone else grabbed seats at a table. When he walked closer to the table after placing his order, he heard River say: “... she’s the one... I love...”. Baxter flinched, but he willed himself to wear his signature grin and seated himself at the table next to Terry. The talk died down as soon as he was there, and they began discussing wedding guests they were looking forward to seeing instead.
After helping Miranda and Terry bring the things they bought at the craft store to Jude and Scott’s house and also unintentionally giving Miranda the idea to take Terry on a trip after the wedding, Baxter said his pleasantries and walked out the front door. Ever since meeting River again, he had begun recalling all of his memories during that summer even more vividly. It also made him note that the neighbourhood where Jude and Scott’s house was located was around the same area they had found the ice cream truck 5 years ago. While he began walking around the area in search of the truck for old times' sake, he felt a tap on his shoulder. He nearly jumped out of his skin and turned to find River looking at him incredulously. “What are you still doing here?” When Baxter explained, River tagged along without saying anything more, and they both bought ice cream sandwiches from the truck lady, something they seemed to still share a love for since back then. They quietly munched on their treats, a painful silence settling between them. Even though Baxter wanted to break it, he was unsure of how to interact with the current River anymore.
If you ever cared, well, I wouldn't know
He didn’t expect River, of all people, to offer to help Baxter make the groom’s cake the night before the wedding. Even if they might have done something similar before Miranda’s birthday. He tried his best to assure him that he could handle it alone, but River was just as stubborn and refused to back out, and he had to relent. After Jude asked River if he could bring baking supplies for Baxter from the kitchen when he went in to grab his things too, Jude and Baxter were left by themselves in the street. Jude sighed and whispered to Baxter, “If you have any alcohol in the house, can you make sure River never finds it?” Baxter raised his eyebrow, confused by the random request, but answered, “Yes, I can do that?” Jude looked at him and gave a stern nod and then hesitantly opened his mouth again, “Please keep this a secret, I shouldn’t be telling you this considering his privacy and fame stuff. But I am trusting you.” Baxter nodded along, assuring him that he could count on him to keep his word. “He has had a drinking problem since the end of summer 2016, and it really took a toll on him last year. It's only recently that he has been sober, but it's dangerous to have alcohol around. Terry and Miranda warned Scott and me multiple times too before he arrived to either hide our collection well or move it somewhere else until the end of his stay.”
And you've spent your whole life drinking
Oh, drinking me away
River only talked about baking stuff but otherwise kept his distance while helping Baxter make the cake. The waiting times in between were spent in stifling silence, which Baxter wanted to try breaking, but it seemed River didn’t really want to talk, considering how he would go on to fiddle with his phone. When they were done, it was quite late, and it seemed River did not have a key to let himself into Jude and Scott’s home without disturbing them. Reluctantly, he agreed to stay over at Baxter’s guest room for the night. The next morning, River found him in his underwear while he was turning his walk-in wardrobe upside down to find his work shirt, but he didn’t react. He offered to take the cake out of the fridge while Baxter sorted himself out. Baxter drove River to the grooms’ house, trying his best to fill in the silence by giving him a breakdown of the wedding plan and then headed to the venue by himself.
Once they all found their way to the hall, the wedding went well, without a hitch. After the ceremony and reception concluded, the newlyweds and most guests left while everyone else who had helped set up was also helping clean up. When Baxter was done with most of his part, he scanned the area subconsciously, trying to spot River but couldn't find him; not even around Terry, Miranda and Cove. He began to panic. Is he already gone? He felt a heavy tightening weight against his chest at the thought of leaving things unsaid a second time over. The results don’t really matter; I need to at least tell him.
I tried to hide the feeling
But I just can't lie that way
He walked over to Terry, Miranda and Cove and asked about River’s whereabouts. When they told him that River had gone downstairs for a break, Baxter ran out of the hall and into the elevator. He made it out of the building, running all around, searching for River, until he found the man in the backside of the building, leaning against a wall, smoking, with the sign above that read “smoking zone”.
You pretend nothing happened, I believe
'Cause you're a much better actor…
Seeing Baxter doubled over, breathless, he dropped his cigarette and snuffed it out with his heel and walked up to him.
“Baxter, let’s talk”