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The cafeteria smelled faintly of bleach and whatever they were serving for lunch that day. Eom Seonghyeon sat poking at his nuggets, barely eating. Across from him, Ahn Keonho was happily talking about something completely random, smiling so brightly that Seonghyeon had to keep reminding himself to look away.
Keonho was the kind of person who seemed to make every room a little lighter just by being in it always cheerful, effortlessly friendly, and completely unaware of the effect he had on people.
"I'm just saying," Seonghyeon muttered, chin resting on his palm, staring directly at Keonho’s painfully attractive biceps. "I don't get the hype."
"About what?" Keonho asked, mouth full of chicken.
"Girls." Seonghyeon sighed, leaning back. It was time. He was dropping the hint. The mother of all hints. The softball pitch.
"I just... I don't like women. At all."
Silence.
Keonho stopped chewing. His big eyes widened, fixating on Seonghyeon with an expression that looked like he’d just watched Seonghyeon throw a kitten into traffic.
He’s getting it, Seonghyeon thought, heart doing a stupid little flip. He realizes I’m available. I am homosexual and I am open for business.
Keonho swallowed hard. He looked around the cafeteria like he was checking for hidden cameras, then leaned in, voice dropping to a harsh, disappointed whisper.
"Dude. You really shouldn't say things like that."
Seonghyeon blinked. "What?"
"You can't just drop that kind of toxicity out loud," Keonho said, his brow furrowing into a severe, judgmental line. "It's 2026, bro. Do better. You're going down a dark path."
With that, Keonho picked up his tray, shook his head in absolute disgust, and walked away.
Seonghyeon sat there, utterly paralyzed.
Toxicity? Dark path? DO BETTER?!
The realization hit Seonghyeon like a bullet train made of homophobia. Ahn Keonho, the love of his miserable high school life, was a raging, closeted bigot.
GROUP CHAT: THE TRENCHES
[Seonghyeon, Martin, Juhoon]
Seonghyeon:
I am going to throw myself off the gymnasium roof.
Martin:
Do a flip.
Wait, did you confess?
Juhoon:
Please tell me you didn’t do the eye-contact thing again. You look deranged when you do that.
Seonghyeon:
HE’S HOMOPHOBIC.
Martin:
Ahn Keonho? The guy who buys organic tampons for his sister and cried during the Barbie movie re-release? Homophobic?
Seonghyeon:
I TOLD HIM I DIDN’T LIKE WOMEN AND HE TOLD ME I WAS TOXIC AND GOING DOWN A DARK PATH.
HE TOLD ME TO ‘DO BETTER.’
Juhoon:
…Seonghyeon.
Read what you just typed. Slowly.
Seonghyeon:
I’m reading it! He basically handed me a verbal pamphlet for conversion therapy! I am crying, throwing up, sliding down the wall.
Martin:
Bro 💀
"I'm telling you, the podcast bros got him." Keonho aggressively tied his cleats. "He looked me dead in the eyes and said he hates women."
James Chao stopped spraying cheap Axe body spray directly into his armpits and stared. "Seonghyeon? The guy whose lip gloss costs more than my entire gaming setup? An incel?"
"I heard it with my own ears!" Keonho stood up, pacing the locker room. "He said, 'I don't like women at all.' Just... casually! Like he was ordering a latte! Bro is radicalized. He's probably watching those Sigma male edits on TikTok right now."
James zipped his bag, eyes gleaming with chaotic intent. "So what are you gonna do? Fight him?"
"No! I'm gonna fix him." Keonho slammed his locker shut. "He's my friend. I can't let him turn into a basement-dwelling weirdo who talks about 'high-value females.' I have to deprogram him."
"Good luck," James snorted. "You better start sending him feminist literature. Educate the boy."
Keonho pointed a finger at him. "That is exactly what I'm going to do."
Tuesday, 10:14 AM. AP English.
Seonghyeon was trying to annotate his Sylivia Plath when a piece of folded notebook paper landed on his desk. He glanced over. Keonho was staring straight ahead, jaw clenched, looking exceptionally noble.
Seonghyeon unfolded the note.
“Women hold up half the sky. Think about that today. - Keonho”
Seonghyeon stared at the paper. Then he glared at Keonho.
Women hold up half the sky? What the fuck does that mean? Is he saying I need to find a woman? Is this his way of shoving heteronormativity down my throat?
Seonghyeon grabbed his pen, furiously scribbling a reply and throwing it back onto Keonho's desk.
Keonho opened it.
“I don’t care about the sky. I like what I like, and you can’t change me. Mind your own business, conservative.”
Keonho gasped softly. Conservative?! Since when was respecting women a conservative trait? Seonghyeon was too far gone. He was doubling down.
When the bell rang, Keonho cornered him by the door.
"You're being incredibly closed-minded," Keonho said, towering over Seonghyeon, his broad shoulders practically blocking out the sun.
"I'm closed-minded?" Seonghyeon scoffed, crossing his arms over his chest to hide the fact that his heart was beating at 200 BPM because Keonho smelled like sandalwood and fresh laundry. "You're the one who can't handle the fact that I don't want a girlfriend!"
"It's not about wanting a girlfriend!" Keonho argued, waving his hands. "It's about basic human decency! You can't just write off an entire gender, Seonghyeon!"
"Watch me, bitch!" Seonghyeon snapped, spinning on his heel and storming down the hallway.
Keonho watched him go, completely devastated. He called me a bitch. The misogyny is leaking out.
Friday night.
Martin Park’s parents were in Seoul for the weekend, which meant the house was currently packed with thirty high schoolers, blasting music that was vibrating the floorboards, and a kitchen island covered in questionable mixed drinks.
Seonghyeon was currently residing on a very expensive leather couch, aggressively nursing a red Solo cup of something that tasted like battery acid and fruit punch.
"Stop glaring at the wall, you look like a serial killer," Juhoon said, sitting next to him and stealing his cup.
"I'm not glaring at the wall. I'm glaring at him."
Across the room, Keonho was talking to James. Keonho looked devastatingly handsome in a tight black long-sleeve shirt. Every time he laughed, his chest moved, and Seonghyeon wanted to simultaneously bite him and throw a brick at his head.
"Just go talk to him," Juhoon sighed, rubbing his temples. "This entire week has been insufferable. You've been playing sad indie boy music on Spotify for four days straight my feed is ruined."
"I can't talk to him! He tried to slip me a pamphlet on 'The Divine Feminine' yesterday!" Seonghyeon yelled over the bass. "He's trying to pray the gay away with crystals and feminist theory! It doesn't even make sense!"
On the other side of the room, James nudged Keonho.
"Bro, your reclamation project is staring at you."
Keonho looked over. Seonghyeon was glaring daggers at him, looking ethereal and furious under the LED strip lights.
"He's lost," Keonho said tragically. "I tried to send him a TikTok essay about the male gaze, and he blocked me."
"Maybe you should confront him," James instigated, grinning like a demon. "An intervention. Right here. Right now. Do it for the girls, Keonho."
Keonho nodded resolutely. "You're right. I can't let him rot in his toxic masculinity."
Keonho marched across the living room. The crowd seemed to part for him. Seonghyeon watched him approach, a mix of panic and arousal surging through his veins.
"We need to talk," Keonho demanded, grabbing Seonghyeon by the wrist.
"Don't touch me, you bigot!" Seonghyeon hissed, though he absolutely did not pull his wrist away.
Keonho dragged him down the hallway, shoved him into the downstairs bathroom, and locked the door behind them. The music was muffled here. The bathroom smelled like expensive soap and poor life choices.
"What is your problem?!" Keonho exploded, backing Seonghyeon up against the marble sink.
"MY problem?!" Seonghyeon yelled back, tilting his chin up to glare into Keonho's eyes. "You're the one who's been policing my sexuality all week!"
"I'm not policing your sexuality, I'm policing your goddamn misogyny!"
Seonghyeon froze. "My... my what?"
"Your misogyny!" Keonho ran a hand through his hair, looking genuinely distressed. "You literally told me you hate women! You said you don't like them at all! And then you called me a conservative for telling you to respect them! Are you literally an incel, Seonghyeon?! Are you on the forums?!"
Seonghyeon's mouth dropped open. He stared at Keonho. He stared at Keonho’s distressed, earnest, stupidly beautiful face.
The silence stretched for ten agonizing seconds.
"Ahn Keonho." Seonghyeon's voice was deathly quiet. "Are you developmentally delayed?"
Keonho blinked. "What?"
"I don't hate women." Seonghyeon took a deep breath, clutching the edge of the sink until his knuckles turned white. "I DON'T HATE WOMEN! I SUCK DICK!"
Keonho just stared at him. "…Huh?"
"I AM HOMOSEXUAL!" Seonghyeon screamed, the frustration of the entire week boiling over. "I AM GAY! I AM FRUITY! I BAT FOR THE OTHER TEAM! WHEN I SAID I DON'T LIKE WOMEN, I MEANT I AM EXCLUSIVELY ATTRACTED TO MEN! SPECIFICALLY, GIANT, STUPID, GYM FREAK IDIOTS LIKE YOU!"
The echo of the yell faded into the bathroom tiles.
Keonho stood frozen. His brain, which usually operated at a calm, manageable speed, was currently buffering.
Loading.
Loading.
Error 404: Misogyny not found.
"You're... gay?" Keonho whispered.
"YES!"
"So you don't listen to alpha male podcasts?"
"I LISTEN TO CHARLI XCX, YOU UNEDUCATED SWINE!"
Keonho’s mouth opened and closed like a fish. He took a step back, the pieces clicking together in his head.
"Wait," Keonho said, voice cracking. "Wait. You thought I was... homophobic?"
"is it finally clocking to you now because you told me I was going down a dark path!"
"I THOUGHT YOU WERE BECOMING ANDREW TATE!" Keonho yelled back, slapping his hands over his face in pure agony. "Oh my god. Oh my god, I told you to 'do better' when you were coming out to me. I'm a monster. I'm going to hell."
"I thought you were trying to convert me to straightness with feminist poetry!" Seonghyeon groaned, sliding down the bathroom door to sit on the floor, burying his face in his knees. "I thought you hated me."
Keonho dropped down to the floor next to him.
"I don't hate you," Keonho said miserably. "I was just... I really like you, and I was so devastated that my crush turned out to be a sexist."
Seonghyeon snapped his head up so fast his neck popped. "Your what?"
Keonho froze, realizing what just slipped out of his mouth. A slow, violent blush crept up his neck, turning his ears bright red. "My... my crush."
Seonghyeon stared at him.
"You like me?"
"Of course I like you," Keonho mumbled, refusing to make eye contact, suddenly fascinated by the grout between the tiles. "Why do you think I was trying so hard to fix you? I wanted to date you, but I can't date a misogynist. I have a sister. It's against my morals."
Seonghyeon let out a sound that was half-sob, half-hysterical laugh. "You're a fucking idiot."
"I'm an idiot?" Keonho snapped, defensive. "You're the one who said 'I don't like women' like a cartoon villain!"
"IT'S A COMMON GAY JOKE!"
"WELL I'M NOT ON GAY TIKTOK, SEONGHYEON, MY ALGORITHM IS EXCLUSIVELY GYM WORKOUTS AND AIR FRYER RECIPES!"
They stared at each other, both breathing heavily, their knees knocking together in the cramped space of the bathroom.
Seonghyeon looked at Keonho’s flushed face, his ruffled hair, and the absolute panic in his dark eyes. He was so stupid. He was the stupidest man alive.
Seonghyeon grabbed him by the collar of his shirt and pulled him in.
The kiss was messy, mostly because they were both still slightly yelling seconds before, and Keonho gasped in surprise, but then his giant hands were wrapping around Seonghyeon’s waist, pulling him onto his lap right there on the bathroom floor.
Keonho’s mouth was warm, and he tasted faintly of cheap vodka and cherry chapstick. Seonghyeon tangled his fingers into Keonho’s hair, kissing him back with a week's worth of pent-up aggression and sheer relief. It was clumsy, entirely desperate, and ridiculously perfect.
Someone banged on the bathroom door.
"Hey! Are you guys fighting or fucking in there? I need to pee!" James yelled from the hallway.
Keonho broke the kiss, resting his forehead against Seonghyeon’s, both of them panting. Keonho had a dopey, completely lovesick smile on his face.
"We're fucking!" Keonho yelled back toward the door.
"We are NOT fucking on Martin's bathroom floor!" Seonghyeon shrieked, smacking Keonho’s chest.
"Right, sorry," Keonho laughed, burying his face in Seonghyeon’s neck, pressing a soft kiss to his pulse point. "We'll wait till we get to a bed. Respectfully."
Seonghyeon rolled his eyes, but he couldn't stop the massive grin spreading across his face. He wrapped his arms around Keonho’s neck, hugging him tight.
"You're a walking disaster, Ahn Keonho."
"Yeah, well," Keonho mumbled into his collarbone. "At least I'm not a misogynist."
"Say that word one more time and I'm breaking up with you."
"We haven't even started dating yet!"
"I'M DUMPING YOU!"
[Group Chat: The Trenches]
[ James, Juhoon, Martin, Seonghyeon, Keonho]
Martin:
So. Are we gonna talk about how Seonghyeon and Keonho walked out of the bathroom looking like they got hit by a tornado?
Juhoon:
I don't want to know. I never want to know anything about them ever again.
James:
I got it in 4k. Keonho’s lipstick was smeared all over his chin. Bro looked like the Joker.
Seonghyeon:
Delete the footage or I will hack your mainframe and leak your search history.
James:
Jokes on you, I use incognito.
So what happened? Did you cure his homophobia?
Seonghyeon:
He wasn't homophobic. He thought I was an incel.
Martin:
…
…
I'm logging off. I hate all of you.
Juhoon:
The math is definitely not mathing. You guys share exactly half a brain cell.
Seonghyeon:
Shut up. He bought me iced coffee this morning and held the door open for me. He’s a gentleman.
Martin:
Because you’re a woman?
Seonghyeon:
I am going to block you.
Keonho:
Leave him alone guys. He’s my boyfriend now. And he respects women tremendously.
Juhoon:
I am throwing my phone into the Han River.