Work Text:
“Ding!” The bell above the bookshop door rings and Aziraphale hears the familiar creak of the floorboards creak and heavy footsteps of a snakeskin boot. He knows exactly who has entered the shop before a word is spoken.
“Angel!! Angellll!!” Crowley prowls through the bookshop abandoning his usually smoothed saunter as he lumbers to the front desk. He was on a mission. “Angel!!”
Aziraphale looks up from his ledger slightly annoyed. “What is it, Crowley?”
Crowley dramatically tears his glasses from his face, his serpentine eyes wide. “We're going to sabotage an AI data center! Let's go!”
Aziraphale looks back to his work unamused. “And who, exactly, is ‘we’?”
“You and me! Us!”
Aziraphale did not look up. “You can do as you please but I will be taking no part in your mischief.”
“Aww c'mon, Angel! It's the perfect job! My lot is in it because it will cost humans billions of dollars. Your lot can be in it cause” he waved his hand flippantly “they're destroying the environment and jobs, and stuff!”
Aziraphale continued to look through his ledger. “Heaven cannot meddle with human affairs. It would undermine the purpose of freewill.”
Crowley shifted his weight to one leg, cocking his hip to the side. “They're destroying books.”
Aziraphale froze and looked up at him. His expression is unchanging. “What books?”
The bait has been taken, now Crowley needs to draw in the line. “Antique books. One of a kind books. Thousands of books. Buying them up in pallets. They're chopping the spines and running them through machines and shredding the evidence when they're done.”
Aziraphale calmly stood up as Crowley beamed. Aziraphale grabbed a leather satchel then went to a bookcase. He carefully pulled several books off the shelf, opened them, and retrieved a variety of firearms and carefully placed them in the satchel. Crowley’s face fell.
“Uh… Angel??” Crowley watches him, flabbergasted.
Aziraphale calmly walked to the door. “Let's go.”