Work Text:
"Jean?"
Jean laid on the plain white couch, staring at the ceiling. There was photographs of many pretty places framed on the wall, but Jean didn't care much about those. She had an awful headache, and she really wished she was anywhere but here right now. But she promised Peter she would at least try, and it was too late to back out.
"Jean…we can't get very far if you don't respond," her therapist said. Jean thought she seemed nice enough, really. But so did her mother, before she found out. So does everyone, before they find out.
"Do you know what mutants are?" Jean said quietly. She regretted saying it almost immediately.
"Mutants? Hmm…" The therapist paused for a second, before speaking again. "Well, they're super-abled individuals, aren't they?"
"Sort of…"
The therapist paused, giving Jean a puzzled look as she tried to figure her out.
"Are you a mutant, Jean?"
Jean sighed. She really didn't want to answer that. Though, it was the whole reason she had brought it up. Why did she bring it up? She didn't even know herself anymore.
She nodded, eventually speaking quietly again. "Yeah…I am…"
The therapist didn't say anything. Jean swore she was writing something down, but she wasn't looking at her, so she couldn't tell.
"Do your abilities bother or hinder you, Jean?"
Jean turned to her side. She could see her therapist more clearly now, even being able to read her name tag—Mary. Although, she still refused to make eye contact.
Jean sighed. "No, but…they've just…brought me a lot of trouble before."
"How so?" Mary replied quickly.
Jean paused. It was painful to think about that. All the people she hurt. Spider-Man, Bruce Banner, innocent civillians….over and over again, all in an endless chase for "V-Max". She'd hurt Peter, so much. She did horrible things. And he still forgave her. He still gave her a second chance.
All for some fucking vent.
"Jean?" Mary interrupted her train of thought.
"I was scared…" Jean murmured, before she forced herself to speak a little bit louder.
"I was scared, and alone, and…I hurt people."
Mary nodded.
"I just wanted my sister." She tried to justify it, almost purely to herself. "I just wanted to find her."
"Your sist—"
"I used my powers, and I hurt so many people…"
Mary nodded again. "It's okay, Jean." She could visibly see her about to break, like glass under pressure. The thought of the topic alone must have been killing her.
"We don't have to discuss this right now. Why don't you tell me more about…" Mary took a second flipping through her notes. "Peter?"
Jean nodded, finally sitting up with a groan. "I hurt him too. I hurt him badly, and I did something unforgivable…" She looked down in shame. "And he forgave me anyway. He's way too good…"
"You seem really guilty about your past actions, but you say Peter forgave you regardless. Why do you think this was?"
Jean paused. She actually wasn't too sure about the answer, but she had a damn good guess.
"Um…he carries this burden of…responsibility on his shoulders. He misunderstood for a really long time, but…I think he's someone who's really come into his own."
"And that's someone who's 'way too good'?"
"Yeah…"
Mary continued writing.
"So, why don't you tell me a little more about your mutant abilities?"
"Um…are you sure?"
"Of course, you can trust me, Jean."
Jean took a deep breath.
"Telepathy, it's…I can 'hop' into people's bodies, see their memories, control them…and I can sort of control the objects around me. Only a little, though…"
"These sound like very powerful abilities, Jean." Jean nodded. "You said you hurt people with these powers?" She nodded again.
Jean took another deep breath. "I did…I shouldn't be here, I'm…I'm dangerous…"
"Jean," Mary interrupted. "Your powers may be dangerous, in the wrong hands. But you sound to me like someone who really wants to do good with the powers you possess."
"No, I…I really did bad bad things, it's…"
Mary cut her off. "Unforgivable?"
Jean nodded.
"That may be true," Mary continued, "but I believe it is only up from here for you. Starting is always the hardest part of healing," she smiled.
Jean smiled back, finally looking at her directly, if only for a second.
"Thank you…"
Both of them were silent for a second.
"What are your thoughts on a second visit, Jean? It's okay if you haven't decided yet."
"I, um…I think…" She really did need this. It wasn't easy, by any means. It was so hard, and a part of her did want to run out the door and never return.
"Yeah…I'll come back."
"That's amazing to hear. I do believe our session is coming to a close," Mary said. It was a short session, shorter than most of Mary's usual clients. It was mostly supposed to be her meeting Jean, and that was all. They said their goodbyes, and Jean was gone.
Jean waited, dangling her legs off on a rooftop. She was getting anxious. What if he didn't show?
She heard a 'thwip' and a landing behind her. There he was.
"Hey, Jean." Peter took his mask off, sitting beside her.
"Hey…"
"So…how'd it go?"
Jean sighed. "It was…fine, yeah. It was good. I think I'll go again, probably."
"That's good. That's really good."
"Thank you…for everything."
"Of course! I know it must've been hard. I'm proud of you, ya know?"
Jean laughed softly.
"Seriously, I mean it!" Peter reassured, nudging her shoulder lightly.
Peter hugged her, and she leaned into the comforting embrace.
He hadn't lied to her. She did have him.
And maybe, she would be better one day.